/mirin/ thread
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You are currently reading a thread in /fit/ - Fitness
>at work
>qt coworker and me crossing paths
>she punches me in delt
>keep walking and a couple seconds later decide to be cheeky
>me:"you feel that?"
>her:"haha i didnt want to say anything but yes"
T-thanks The Press
>>37202096
>sister in law punches my arm playfully
>punch her hard and tell her to try me again.
Bitches play 2 much
>coworker jokingly punches me in the abs
>I dropkick her belly with the force of a mexican luchador
>she was pregnant, I am now fired
>>37202122
>>37202326
Fucking kek
>>37202096
>at college
>qtp314 punches me in the glootz
>anal
>expelled
>At prayer
>halal habibi is walking by as i exit mosque
>She salams me
>Keep walking and a few seconds later decide to be haram
>Her: "Thake una ta-al ma-aiy habibi"
>her: "Ok"
Shes fat now...
>>37202466
I know that feel...
>>37202096
>Not telling that bitch to square the fuck up
>>37202122
jej
>Oneitis who has a bf asks me to come and sit on her lap
>okay
>Strokes my triceps the whole time I'm sat there
What did she mean by this?
>>37202658
It was a test and you failed
You do as you are told so now they know your a fuccboi that will get stuff from the shop for them
>>37202326
lmao
>lifting for about a year
>always wore wide longsleeves
>at the end of my bulk
>mytimwtoshine.jpg
>go to school in white, normal fit T-shirt
>hear some guys in my class saying "look at that muscleshirt anon is wearing" as I walk up to the whiteboard
>feel self-concious for the rest of the day because I've got a fatceps and lack definition
>cousin
>15
>abs
>"solid"
>>37202924
its bulk then cut senpai
Get with the program already
>>37202694
this
>be me at chipotle/
>wearing polo and shorts, just got off me work
>not aesthetic or bodybuilder mode by any means
>6'2", 179lbs around 14%-15% bf, look solid with clothes on desu
>cutie arbian/lightskin about three people down looks back at me legit every 10 seconds or so
>/fit/ insticts kick in, begin to wonder if she's mirin
>try not to let her catch me mirin, can see she has hella potential to be a semen demon as she hits her PEAK mid-20's (probably 18 now)
>while I ponder if she's mirin the unthinkable happens
>she's wearing a sundress right
>she looks right back at me then throws up her dress over her ass, showing her underwear
>Victoria secret
>lets the sundress fall again
>she looks back at me a shit ton
>never let her see me mirin
>order my burrito, double wrapped chicken burrito extra rice and beans, cheese and lettuce + green sauce
>she sits down alone
>i walk past her with my burrito, don't even look at her, she mirin
>walk outside and go home
Did I miss a chance? I didn't feel like going after any girl other than pure-white.. right?
>>37204136
Why not take a fucking chance man, SHE WAS ALONE.
Worst case, you have lunch with her and never have to see her again.
Pathetic....
>>37204205
1) she wasnt white
2) she was with some friends
3) i had somewhere to be
>>37204136
I like how Victoria's Secret underwear was a big factor in this for you
>>37202122
At club with fwb and her friend who's a lesbian. Haven't seen them for 2 months since I started gear. I gained 20 lbs lean in that time. They say I look big 'even your neck is huge, omg your chest' lift up my shirt and rub their hands all over my abs for seriously at least 5 minutes. I actually get tired of holding abs flexed for this long molestation. Lesbian says she's jealous of males having testosterone she knows she could never grow like this. They give me MDMA and we roll and then go home and try to fuck but can't get an erection due to drugs. Win some lose some I guess. This girl was my fwb for a year before she told me she had to break things off because she was going exclusive with some other dude. She drunk texted me and said she wished she was still banging me, but now I honestly don't even know if I want to again. The thought of her with another guy instead of me is hard to deal with, I might just go no contact again. Idk.
>I am now6'4 175, finally just beginning to reach ottermode, but still pretty lanky. (started at 6'4 135 9 months ago)
>One thing lanklets have going for them is low body fat to start with, usually, so abs show up super quick
>I now have a nice six pack, and am roughly halfway to 1/2/3/4, a little further on bench, behind on squat, but im doing well.
>See female friend who I haven't seen in about 5 months, solid 8/10 qt3.14 with gorgeous blue eyes, well proportioned body,
>Getting /fit/ has made me a little more alpha
>Go straight in for the hug
>She had the same idea
>Sometimes girls shift over to hug me from the side because it's less awkward than her face being right in my chest (tall guys know this feel), and she did that after about 2 seconds, and slid her hand across my stomach
>She stops, as I instinctively flex my abs since I'm ticklish
>She feels around for a solid 5 seconds, before looking straight into my eyes, grinning, and says, 'damn anon, you've really been working out, haven't you'
>I reply, 'yeah, i'm getting there'
She seems to be into me more and more, invited her out to dinner tomorrow and she said, 'like a date?' I said, 'yeah, let's go with that.' and she seemed really excited. Potential gf material as she is not slutty, and we've been solid friends for awhile and have many similar interests. I think I'm finally starting to make it lads.
>>37204331
How is it not?
>>37206312
Fucking a hot tomboy lesbian is my fetish. Wish there was more porn of it
>>37206359
I'm glad for you, senpai.
>used to work at retail store
>flirted with all my coworkers
>had a ton of fun
>work in office now
>no one in immediate work area is attractive
>a few attractive women dispersed throughout the building
>do my best not to flirt with them
>work for government and i could probably get a sexual harassment charge
>we take a few different trainings every year about it
>just want to flirt with hot ginger who works the front desk
>gotta start mastering the art of flirting without being super direct
>>37206376
Yeah sadly that's not what was going to happen anyway. I tried to get a threesome going but she was only into girls. The fwb and I tried to bang.
She is gorgeous though and super cool personality so I'm kind of sad about that.
>>37206387
thanks famalam, I've never really had any trouble getting girls in bed, but like a lot of /fit/ Im still searching for that long term gf who can just brighten your day when you see her. Maybe this is it.
>cousin (15) feels pecs and abs
>"solid"
>suplex her onto hard concrete
>>37204136
>6'2"
>179lbs
>15%
you' have no muscle
>>37204136
OMG U ARE PATHETIC
>>37202924
>going off cocoon mode before cut
Why.
>>37204136
Your gon die a virgin
>>37202924
>End of bulk
>Time to shine
I dont even know how are you this dumb
>>37204233
baka brah
>>37204136
So if she 3 people in front of you that means they got a view of it too?
>>37206428
didnt notice that lol
>>37206312
>No green text
>Thinks anyone is going to read
Lurk more faggot
>>37206394
Had a chad buddy one time tell me he had a situation like yours turn into a full blown 3some. Lesbo said the same thing but after watching them bang for awhile she decided to give it a go. Never know m8
>>37206445
Kek
>>37202122
First reply best reply.
>recieve compliments on looks/physique often, for some reason lots of nicknames
>solid 6/10 and ottermode with decent proportions
>>37206389
I don't even know what flirting is. Tips?
>>37206359
Way to make it, fampai.
>>37206649
be confident. fake confidence until youre actually confident. If you are finding that too hard, figure out what you are insecure about and fix it. If you are skinny/fat, start working out.
Flirting is pretty much assuming everyone wants you. im probably average on the attractiveness scale so as long as you are at least that, it will work out. smile smugly. walk with good posture. and if you think it will make her laugh, say it. i dont know what else to say. a lot of it comes naturally now. it didnt used to but after a few years of trying ,its pretty easy.
Youre gonna get a voice in your head tho. Its gonna tell you "nah man, maybe i shouldnt say/do this. it might not work out." But as long as the consequences arent too bad (such as getting fired from work for being completely inappropriate), just go for it.
>>37204136
Everything she did was meant for the Chad behind you.
>>37206485
Putting green is a pain in the ass on my phone. Sorry princess you'll just have to content yourself with the other stories instead.
>>37206705
I really appreciate that, thanks man.
I'm very inexperienced when it comes to women and I don't know if it's because confidence thing or because I just don't know how to. Like I'm a pretty confident guy, I can easily make bros but i don't have a single female freind.
Like sometimes I will find myself in good social situations to talk to a girl and get to know her like we're in a group at a party or she's sitting on the same table for a class but I don't take them.
Like I feel this nervousness/anxiety to talk to the girl because I wonder if I'll have anything to talk about, whether she thinks I'm hitting on her, if I accidently spill some spaghetti, etc..
How to build this confidence?
>>37206808
experience. just start talking to them. who cares if u spill spaghetti to one girl. its one girl. u will meet 1000 in your life. just do it. dont think abt "what if i fail". just know that a few times u will fail and thts ok
>>37206359
proud of u son
>>37206376
My man you might just be gay
>at school
>walking during passing period (18)
>dude who I haven't spoken to in over a year tells me how jacked I am
>keeps walking with me
>asks me if I work out to get girls
>tell him, "If that is a result of working out that's cool I guess, but it isn't the main reason."
>he asks what the main reason is
>tell him, "it's tough to describe, I think it's intrinsic."
>he nods and we start talking about him
I don't know if I'll ever be able to admit that it is how I avoid depression. Honestly, guys, with more attention, I am beginning to feel like a normie and I am not sure if I like it.
>feelsweirdman
>>37202326
>>37202122
my flanks
>>37204136
You did well. Fuck race traitors.
>walking to store
>wearing shorts
>black people walking behind me
>look at dat niggas calves
my calves are only 17" solid
>>37206364
Pleb-tier lingerie desu senpai.
>>37204136
I'm proud of you anon
If she ain't White it just ain't right
>>37202466
>what really happened
>she salams me
>a-a-alaikum
>>37202466
Sweden?
>>37202361
happens all the time
>>37202122
Kek
>>37202326
Lel
>>37204136
shaking my head
Went entire spring semester wearing goodies and jackets
>summer classes started last week
>decided to wear a Henley with sleeves rolled up
>run into a few girls I know that are taking the same class as me.
>I'm talking to one, the other two are just eye fucking my bulge to death.
>one girl has a bf but can't stop touching my arms and back.
Its like a complete mindfuck to them to see a guy with muscle. Their true nature comes out and they Don't even try to hide it.
Height helps too I guess
6foot 2 and around 200lbs. I'm korean and these sloots are white btw. I prefer black girls thoigh, more meaty and better cock goblin potential.
>>37206705
>if you think she will laugh, say it
I do that shit all the time. Like jokes that aren't even funny to normies, but then I laugh and look them in the eye and even if it wasn't funny if they're feeling you they will laugh too just from awkwardness. If they don't laugh at all or look disgusted time to retreat.
Idk how else to explain it
>>37202096
>be at party this weekend
>see a group of friends i hadn't seen in a year or so
>been losing weight/lifting seriously for almost a year
>a bunch of them saying nice things
>standing there waiting to use the bathroom
>hear two gay friends talking about me
>"omg...anon is seriously like...HOT now. like just plain hot. i can't believe it. i couldn't even talk to him earlier."
>not mad
Dunno if its a mire but I've been getting free coffee from this chick at Starbucks
>>37204136
Green sauce?!??!?! What the fuck anon!?!!!
>>37202096
>at bar this weekend
>getting kind of late, and Im getting bored
>as my group of friends is talking, decide to basically just walk around the bar people watching
>standing still at the bar and look to my right
>make eye contact with some stacy
>look away quickly, but look back a while later and make eye contact again
>she squints her eyes to make a playfully mean face and then points at me and mouths "you"
>point to the guy next to me and she shakes her head no
>shes still pointing at me and starts dancing a little bit
>for no real reason, walk away in the opposite direction
I fucking hate bars
>>37208938
Hell yeah that shit is expensive.
>>37206359
Try not to think of your grandma's cheesy cuntflaps when you're banging her bro.
>>37202658
What did she mean by this?
>solid
>>37206359
Noice
>work out with grill today
>i spot her on squat while she rubs her ass on my cock
>her friend recorded it
>she puts it on her instagram
>a qt grill comments her instagram saying "get it girl"
>>37204136
So she flashed literally the entire line?
>>37207776
This man.
>initially started to impress my gf and keep my head on straight since I was starting a new degree
>she saw my progress after a month and was already pretty impressed
>don't see her again for 2 months
>when we finally met again she dumped me.
>managed to gain 8kgs of muscle and had no one to show it to anymore
>go home and cry while hitting PR's
>absolutely shattered but decide to keep lifting because it's the only thing that provides me with any semblance of self-confidence
>been over a year now, still haven't had sex or been on a date since but in the best physical condition I've ever been in and doing much better in this degree than my first but I'm still lonely as fuck.
>mfw lifting doesn't always take away the feels but at least it helps
>>37208938
You lucky dog. I'm still trying to get a free footlong at Subway. The best I can do is get 50% off w/ a coupon.
>>37209200
>things that never happened
>>37208920
gay mires best mires even if you're straight
>new chipotle opens up near uni
>always empty because it's a short drive and nobody has a care but me
>go there a few days in a row because busy, need quick big meals
>always go for the double brown rice double black beans double chicken lettuce burrito
>amateur workers can never wrap it
>always need to double foil it
>one time qt cashier literally said "god it's always so big!"
>another time bro server goes "damn, do you play sports or something?"
>another time, massive black guy (this time i got two of them) goes "dayyuummmm son, you really gon eat all dat?!"
>mfw small as fuck
>>37209352
>god it's always so big!
>>37202326
I'm as dead as her stillborn child.
>>37209377
>>37209377
>4 you
>>37206445
fucking lel
>>37209293
I know the feels as well bro.
>deleted tinder, bumble, OK Cupid, etc
>barely on facebook anymore
>working out 3-5 days a week
>nobody to show my progress to.
I'm waiting until I enter Chad-tier and then I'll exit cocoon mode. Been cutting and working on Starting Strength + C25K and making good weekly gains.
>>37202466
what the fuck
translate this for the majority of us bro
>>37209293
This is me, except my ex and I have only been broken up for 3 months. And I've been joylessly spite fucking lots of strange the whole time. Which doesn't actually make me feel any better about the situation
>manlet supreme working at my office
>he's always talking about how short he is
>constantly bringing up how fit I am and I try to play if off
>bro your arms are like as big as my leg
>mfw they're just barely 14"
Despite all of this he's managed to hook up with one of my many oneitis... kill me.
>>37207776
Good answer my man
>run rickshaws on weekend nights cuz hey easy money
>literally dozens girls a night call me cute handsome sexy
>get girls numbers like no tomorrow
>getting cat called
>comments on my ass (thanks squatting every day)
>sometimes girls will flash me as i run them home
>often get offers for blowjobs and sex
>guys mire all the time
>saying oh your a big guy.... 4u
>saying how i must be in really good shape to do this
lol i dont even care about these sluts. im here to make money
>milf are my fetish tho, hopefully later in the summer im a get me some
honestly i get mired so often now i dont even care about it
>>37209579
Lol one of my friends did this. Said he gave rides for free just asked for tips but made bank doing it. Where do you work?
self mire
be me
>310 lb fatty with a 5.5x5 penis, thought my fat pad covered some of it
>down 85 lbs and remeasured at 8.59x5.5, feels extremely Chad
>>37209638
im in ottawa.
and yeah man i make on average 200 a night. and the season is just starting. we get hella tourists here as well
>>37209539
How do you have many oneitis? Are you unfaithful?
>go to gym with friends
>hit the weights
>convince my friends to go swimming afterwards for dat cardio
>go to pool
>making my noob laps
>friends tellin me the lifeguard has been eyefugging me
>qt3.14 17/18 year old blonde
>friends egg me on to talk to her
>I go up to talk to her about how I'm interested in lifeguarding
>for some reason I lose interest
>walk away
>friends keeping harassing me
>"did you get her number?!!" "you had ONE job!!!!" "c'mon DUDE"
>leave gym
>she leaves at the same time
>she literally gets in her car, and backs up into the car behind her, and deadass just sits there
>I go down to see whats up
>some bs excuse, we talk a little, get her number
>send her a text
>no response
I didn't even want her number. My friends think every girl wants me because of my physique now. The whole conversion from the pool onwards was about this fucking girl. I didn't event want her number /fit/, its like I ordered water with no ice at a restaurant and they give me a cup with just ice in it
>>37209668
>see a qt
>picture our life together in that moment
>nothing comes of it
>repeat
>>37209293
I know this feel, I'm pretty sure I'm over it but I can't tell if I am deep down, oh well, back to lifting
>>37209200
>The qt girl you though was mirin was probably just congratulating the girl on a possible new 1rm
>>37209764
still not over unfortunately, don't think I've gone a day without thinking about her at least once. She was a really amazing girlfriend and I can only really blame myself (I didn't cheat, but there were things about my self that I could have easily changed but I was a depressed dumbass who was scared of getting hurt).
I just feel like that heartbroken guy trapped in regret and going through the motions, I was depressed before we broke up but the only times I was truly happy was around her and despite being together almost 2 years I was too scared to tell her I loved her.
Life no longer has any colour bros.
>walking outside
>see father and his son walking around
>pass them
>I overhear the son asking "if I grow up will I be like him?"
>the dad replies "only if you eat your vegetables"
>>37209468
bro, when you enter Chad tier you will realize the superiority of cocoon mode. You need to find a balance, and ease in to society slowly.
>>37208966
You shouldn't hate bars just hate your autism
>>37209304
1/2 off with a purchase of a footlong and a cookie
>>37209076
Why do they always come to mind when I take my mom to pound town?
>>37208671
Hahahahhahahaha
>>37209468
>rarely log onto facebook
>dont go out much
>not many friends
I didn't realise how cocoon mode i am. I never wanted to be cocoon mode but i'm so damn introverted.
Hold me brahs
>>37210497
Facebook is a prank, I'd say stay off of it.
Try to find one hobby that you enjoy and find local groups/ make small talk with the people at your gym.
You'll make it, just make small steps every day.
>>37202974
i miss this
>>37208833
>cock goblin
Blacks steal people's dicks? Is that why their dicks are so big?
>>37208966
Alpha as >fuark
>>37209499
she said "come with me,baby"
>>37207827
>>37204136
>>37208648
It's not racemixing if you don't impregnate/marry her. This isn't rocket science.
>>37208966
She literally went hope straight after and cried herself to sleep that night
>>37209821
more endearing than most stories
>>37209200
link or it never happened
>>37202122
>>37209468
>>37210497
>no facebook account
>no twitter account
>no instagram account
>no other fucking social media account
Only contact is phone, sms, whatsapp.
Other than that, I go out with friends regularly but mainly perma cocoon mode.
>>37209746
>>she literally gets in her car, and backs up into the car behind her, and deadass just sits there
KEK, female drivers, not even once
>Be with a girl, almost my gf
>Whenever we lay in bed she feels all my Insertions, delts, biceps, triceps etc.
>She keeps complementing how big i am
>Saying she would never date a small or fat guy
>Took her to the gym last week, because she said she wanted an ass like the one i got
>mfw when she grabs my ass constantly, whether its at home, shopping or when we go for a walk
>>37211188
Thanks for the chuckle m80.
>>37206724
This.
>>37209539
>many oneitis
>>37211657
Almost your gf?
Why isn't she your gf?
>>37208671
top fucking kek
>be me lifting since 5 months
>barley left DYEL, can only see I lift in skinny jeans and shirts
>tried not to take off my hoodie till i'm somewhat big
>one day in school it was really hot so i had to take it off
>fat girl with confidence that sits next to me: "ano, you big guy".
>next day I come with hoodie again
>roll arms up, she suddenly touches my veins on my arm and says "damn those veins".
>told her i heard that many woman are disgusted by veins
>she tells me "nah, not at all"
>tfw shes fat and i hate fat people
another one
>be me in super market with old school mates
>another mate comes in
>first thing he says after shaking hands was: "damn you gained weight anon".
>other mate i met earlier that day comes next to us and says "yea i also noticed but didn't want to say anything".
>later that day the first guy asked me for routine
>he says that he wants to start again too
>tfw finally motivated people to start lifting
>>37212246
it feels good to motivate people to lift
> run into guy from my class at gym
> damn anon, whats your routine?
> start rambling and spill spaghetti
> he still thinks I know my shit
> feels good man
>>37202096
>friends birthday party
>girl slaps me on the ass
>"wow your ass is rock hard"
>just look at her
>"i..i like that you know"
>laugh it off
>two years later shes hot af and dates a fat kebap chain owner
he's a great guy and all, but fuck me, how was I supposed to know how'd she turn out to look? also all that emotional baggage/family problems she has. just no.
>>37212459
Should've said "what about yours, you squat?"
>>37206359
Witnessed son
>>37206359
we all gonna make it
>>37207776
>intrinsic
fuck you for making me google it
>>37204136
>people actually believe this happened
>>37206359
poster of this comment here, date went amazing, got home, made out, didn't go any further cause this is still uncharted territory for the both of us, but she asked if we could do this again soon. I'm literally over the world /fit/, 1 year ago, this girl was completely out of my league, and now she's clearly into me. We're all gonna make it brahs.
>Tfw /fit/ cured both my lanklet status, and helped me become alpha.
>>37206410
lol'd
>>37211305
If you fuck a sandnigger once there's a high chance it'll happen again, before you know it you've impregnated one.
>>37204136
fuck am i reading
>>37209821
Should've turned around and told the dad that broccoli isn't a substitute for meat.
>>37213141
I'm happy for you, brah. We're all gonna make it.
>>37206724
Do chipotle sell PIZZA?
>>37202974
I was waiting for this
>>37206389
Nothing you can learn at all m8
If you're a chad and she wants your dick she will like the flirting
If she doesn't want to fuck u it will be sexual harrassment
>>37207244
>wanting to fuck an attractive woman is gay
>>37213299
>unzips dick
>be me, noob gains mode
>rent a beach house for new years with a few mates
>one of them brings his gf
>we start getting ready to head to the beach for shenanigans
>I take off my shirt
>one of my friends says "can anon keep his shirt off the whole trip" as like a gay joke
>other mates gf blurts out "I know!" before quickly looking guiltily at her bf
Felt good to be mired by a grill
>>37204233
You did the right thing, kinsman
>Younger cousin obviously attracted to me since we were young
>She's mixed race, looks middle-eastern, solid qt
>Ended up getting really fat and have now lost most of it
>See her at her sister's wedding last summer
>Me, mum, dad and her are sat outside at a table talking
>Mum asks what kind of guys she likes
>"I like white boys"
>Moves her hand over my thigh and squeezes under the table
>Gets even more obvious in the night, compliments me a lot but I don't do anything
>Skip forward to now
>Mum says we might be going up to see them soon
>Younger cousin messages me a couple of days ago asking how I am
>Wants me to bring some weed down for us to smoke at the park near her house (Rest of her family are very Christian)
>She's almost certainly going to come on to me, not sure how far it would go
Feels weird man
>>37215003
First cousin? Second?
>>37215020
First which makes it worse I guess
>>37208966
good lord i did not expect to laugh at that last line as much as i did
>>37215035
mate, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZXsQAXx_ao0
>>37209200
Stop spotting that fucking close idiot you are ruining her set
>>37213141
Pleased to hear this m'dude, we're all gonna make it
>>37209539
Seems like you need bigger arms brah
This was a while back
> be 6'2
> ripped 6 pack like in pic
> be on holiday in Asian country
> feel like a giant , go clubbing with friends
> group of qt Asian girls sitting on a table next to us
> make eye contact with a 10/10 Asian grill , I look away but can still she still staring at me
> 2 of my friends wants to go talk to
them , refuse to go
> two of them go talk to the grills, the fat friend is talking to the girl that was staring at me
> to autistic to go join in, fat friend is all in her face but can tell the grill is uninsterested in him
> me and the rest go to a bar
>>37215003
Bruh
Just blame the weed and let it happen
>>37206312
Hello, Reddit
>>37215289
>>37215634
Tempted to desu, I feel like she'd basically let me do what I want. Only issue would be finding somewhere private in case she's making too much noise.
>>37204136
>Arbian
You said you were at chipotle, now your talking about Arby's? This story is full of holes.
>>37206705
At a certain point I become such a loser I started thinking "fuck it, say it and see what happens. It's not like they can think any less of you". I could immediately feel the difference, girls start looking at you and treating you different.
It turns out people like people who like themselves more than they like people who try to please everyone else.
How do I get people to mire my huge penis, it's my only redeeming feature.
Serious question guys please.
>>37209821
*father and his wife's son
>>37216427
Public masturbation.
>>37209821
> Walking outside
> Dad is walking with his daughter
> "Daddy, how did he get so big and strong?"
> Here's my chance
> I shout "squats and Oats!"
> He doesn't laugh
> I feel like a retard because for some reason I expected a grown man and his 7 y/o daughter to get a /fit/ meme from 2012
> I look down as I walk away
>>37212195
I dont think she wants to commite a title to it, eventho she say that we're exclusive.
>>37206359
Good job anon I'm very happy for you.
> Be me
> Be a faggot
> No one knows because I act straight (read: normal)
> At party
> Everyone is drunk as fuck with acquaintances from work
> Host is a mega slut in an open relationship with her BF
> I spill a drink on the floor and my drunk self decides to take my shirt off to clean it up
> Host starts telling her bf to look at my muscles
> She jokes about wanting to see her bf make out with me
> I go with it, and she's shocked
> He's never kissed a boy
> We make out
> She can barely contain her excitement
> He's proud as fuck that he did it, like he pulled off some great act of courage
> He still brags about it months later
> MFW he still thinks I'm straight
>see girl who i normally just say hi to on break
>asks me if i been working out
>y-yea
>she says "yeah cuz i noticed you are getting bIg "
>i mutter "o oh yeah.. Your pretty lean do you ?"
>she says she mostly does cardio and yoga
>other girl there nearby pipes in and they start talking as i skulk away
>>37217993
fairly bawdy, ser
>>37217993
>no hot secret gay friend to make out with me
>>37215459
Jesus fuck, you're an autist
>>37217272
Lmao
>>37218508
>have girls around you
>skulk away
h
>>37217677
Bro, we will all make it
>>37202122
ALPHA
L
P
H
A
>>37202326
>was pregnant
>>37209661
You get it, boy. Don't stop losing that weight.
>at gym
>doing clean and jerks with lmao65kg because beginner
>PT and his client, petite qt3.14 high test blonde staring
>PT comes over and tells me that my lifts were impressive, and hardly anyone else in the gym can move that kind of weight
>girl mirin like fuck, look over, and she blushes hardcore
>GF doing squats in the rack right next to her
I wish I was single again.
Even if 90% if these replies are bullshit it gives me a shit ton of motivation. We're all gonna make it
> walk into restroom at work like Arnie in Terminator
> fag i hate, looks scared, doesn't make eye contact, and moves out of my way like the little bitch he is
feels good
>>37202096
>Doing sports and health optional at university
>One week they take us swimming
>Usually wear baggy clothes so no one really knew about my gains
>actually was ottermode for 5 years while swimming competitively
>been lifting a year since quitting swimming
>was around 9% bf at the time
>all of the guys were asking me where the fuck I got the gains in the locker room
>step outside the locker room
>the qts see me
>literal staring from a dozen or so of them
>half of them come up to me and ask me to flex
>tfw they felt up my gainz
>jump into the pool and do some laps
>colleague asks me to race
>beat him doing butterfly while he was doing freestyle
>everyone mirin the function that comes with the form
.>qt I had major crush on swims up to me
>"my bf (another colleague of ours) nearly breaks his back when he gets the groceries, it's amazing how in shape you are. Maybe you should take him to work out with you sometimes"
>"I doubt he's cut out for it, you might be though."
>tfw she says "I just might be" and swims away
Literally jacked off maybe 5-6 times when I got home after that.
>go back to home town for the first time in 8 years
>little nervous but figure it'll be interesting and a little bit of catharsis
>was chubby shitlord, got pushed around a lot
>this drove me to lift and get natty jacked
>meet up with some friends at local bar
>hour later
>cheerleader who used to bully my sister asks for my digits
>former queen of the it girls also zeroes in on my with those dead inside eyes framed by inch thick foundation
>they end up having a cat fight over me during which time me and my friends sneak out to another bar
The whole thing was a depressing roll coaster of mediocrity.
There but for the grace of god, etc.
>>37209400
>walking home from the gym
>it was hot as hell mid august so I was walking home in my tank top
>stop at light
>look next to me
>qt from college with her bf who also attends with us
>boyfriend sees me checking her out
>look him in the eyes
>he says hi
>she looks around
>oh hi anon
>omg honey look at anon's bod
>I bet he could like break you in half
>I bet I could
>me and her start laughing
>he shifts nervously and then half giggles
>light turns green
>give them a wink and a nod
>put earbuds back in
>outpace their short legs into oblivion
>>37206312
>took MDMA
>made him incapable of getting an erection
I got news for you buddy, that wasn't molly.
>>37209468
it's called monk mode.
>doing calisthenics for 10 years
>have a really great diet since my brother is a chef and we room
> friend takes me along to his gym one day
>tfw all the rats started asking me what my cocktail was
>>37211252
Arab here, shouldn't that be "ta-al la hin uh, ma habibi"
>>37220802
This was an abstract feel for me when I went through the same thing.
>highschool was small and there were like 4 decent girls in a class of 40 people
>moved away to school of 800 before graduation, lost a ton of weight because self conscious
>graduated and visited old town before everyone went their separate ways
>guys and uggo chicks have become more disgusting
>"hot" girls are really like 5s
>only "chad" is like 5'10 130lbs with cheap tats
>chicks are interested in me but I'm disillusioned so I kind of half lead them on out of curiosity because I've never been considered attractive by those people
>half heartedly make out with one during a party before getting wasted and stealing a wooden panther from the school a mile across town with the boys
>>37221065
Only calisthenics? Post body.
>waiting for class to start
>talking with my friend about something private
>small head chad+gf and posse come up to us
>hey anon do you lift?
>give him a gesture with my hand to wait as I was finishing a point to my friend which I whispered since it was private
>"It's impolite to whisper in front of people anon, what's the big secret"
>get up
>at 6'1 100kgs I dwarfed him
>tfw him and all of his pals visibly stepped back
>"interrupt me again and the only thing I'll teach you how to lift is your girlfriend's skirt."
>he starts stammering and then says "I'm sorry man I didn't mean any offence"
>chuckle
>they all relax as well and start to laugh
>stop laughing look him dead in the eye walk up to his girl and lift her skirt up
>bitch just stands there, even perks up her butt a bit
>sit the fuck back down
>start whispering to my friend again about our original subject.
>they all walk away and sit down
>bitch been mirin me ever since
>>37221159
that was some time ago, I actually lift, and have juiced since then, so won't do you any good. In reality I wasn't even that impressive, I just had a ridiculously low body fat due to certain recreational drugs, Along with good gains due to a freakishly good appetite.
>>37208671
Lmao
>>37220734
Noice
>>37204233
Stop making excuses you faggot
>>37220734
boy-o you're in. start wearing better fitting clothing to make sure the ladies never forget
>>37206445
kek'd
>>37217272
haha holy shit i've done the same thing.
>used to work as valet at hotel
>standing around trying to look profesional
>drunk old guy comes staggering out of the bar
>he gives me his tag, i run and get his car, drive it back
>i hand him the keys
>he hands me a tip then says "yall keep up the good work, good night fellas!"
>he kinda gently pats me on the stomach with the back of his hand as he says goodnight, like you would patting someone on the shoulder for a job well done
>right after he does so he yells "damn! what do you feed those puppies!" refering to my hard abs.
>i'm taken aback by this odd situation and all i can studder out is "a-a healthy serving of o-oats?"
>he gives me a funny look and just says "haha okay buddy" and slams the door as he gets in his car.
>coworkers break down laughing and i'm still not sure what i should've said
>'what do you feed those puppies' now becomes a running joke in our department
>>37206359
i believe in you anon, no matter what happens
>>37213202
Flawless logic.
>bro slaps my ass
>damn dude your ass is huuuge
>mfw i get a semi-chub
>at my vacation home last summer all alone
>decided to buy some pepsi and potato chips for wow legion announcement stream
>go to the local kiosk
>looking pretty good, tanned, tight t-shirt and dat flow
>grab the stuff and head to the counter
>20-ish qt.13 works the counter
>she smiles at me and says something like "boy, that's alot of snacks for one person!"
>i say "hah yeah ain't much to do around here but to get fat" in a somewhat obnoxious tone since i'm a city boy
>she says "hahaha well i know where i'm going later! ;)" and acts all flirty
>HEHEHE YEAH E-EXACTLY and i leave the place
>outside the kiosk i let out a huge sigh, realising what the fuck i just did
AAAAAHHHHH
>>37221550
He meant you need to lose weight senpai
>>37215731
Don't do it man you'll fucking regret it and she'll use it against you one day in the future. Use your head she's mental.
>>37221672
>vacation home, wow stream, snackies
sounds comfy af. why ruin it with a female
>girl at work punches me in the chest cause i'm the Hulk
>tell her i'll get her next time
>surprise punch her in front if her boss
And that's how i got fired
>>37221672
I still don't get it. What was she implying?
>>37221894
simply eric
>>37221918
That shes gonna go to his place and steal all his snacks.
>>37221214
>things that never happened
>>37204233
You don't have to impregnate someone when fucking them you know
>>37221214
Jesus christ
>>37222066
H A R A M
>>37221858
it was really comfy but yeah i guess you're right. would be nice to chill with a grill for a couple of days before going back to the city though
>>37221918
>>37221993
yupp she wanted me to invite her over for "snacks" but i was too stupid to realise that until it was too late.
>>37207776
He was clearly asking you to see if you're working out to get guys
>>37208966
Good move. I do this to. Lots of times it makes them want you even more and they will come up and talk to you, its fucking weird.
>>37221001
You're an idiot
>>37202658
not saying no come sit on my lap
>qt tinder blonde
>at my place
>wont kiss me
>pick her up to demonstrate functional strength
>kisses me after
>her:"you must work out, right?"
>me:"i don't even exercise!"
>>37222498
D E V I L I S H
>>37210018
>ease in to society slowly
Luckily I'm not half as autistic as most of this board is, I can talk decent game with ladies, but I'm a fat fuck and therefore most girls who will go for me are also fat fucks.
>Captcha: Select pictures of pizza
It's like the captcha knows I'm on my way to being Chad
>>37221214
Lol ok
>>37221214
Kill yourself
Hey Brehs today I finally went out on a date with a girl and made out with her at the end. I am 6'5" but I'm 280 so I gotta cut but she complimented my biceps so it felt good mane.
Thank you /fit/ for enabling me to not be kissless virgin faggot. I am now only a virgin faggot.
>cousin(15) exclaims "pecs" and feels my chest for 10-20 seconds
>asks if I've been working out
>flex arm "you tell me"
>"oh my god"
>holds my arm as we walk along the street with her friend later that day
>touches my abs at dinner
>"solid"
>>37221214
Hahahha. Anon, how does the dorito dust on your fingers taste like?
>>37224243
not again
>>37221214
Yes Steve I'll take "Things that never happened" for $200
>>37224331
Like Doritos.
>>37213435
kek
>>37202122
>>37202326
>>37206359
>>37217993
DEVILISH AF SENPAI
>>37209746
made me feel...
>>37202974
i miss this being first comment so much
>meet beta faggot
>he starts going to the gym
>starts making some gains
>FFW 1 year he's ripped and has a gf
>I don't see him a lot, we only have friends in common
>over a year later, last weekend see him in some bar
>the fucking idiot just stopped bulking
>mfw he was shredded when I saw him in october
>mfw it's almost fucking summer and this faggot is a fat fuck
poor guy, I didn't know what to say
>>37214286
I would've felt kinda bad for the guy
>>37221672
LOL @ the screenshot.
I can't believe you really d aisdfgbaidnscio
>>37208966
You should tell her to come at you idiot.
>>37211188
damn that was cringey as hell my nigga
>>37206359
>Getting /fit/ has made me a little more alpha
>Go straight in for the hug
c'mon "the hug" you should kiss her.
>>37209661
damn so your dick does get bigger when you lose weight
>>37209499
majority of the world is islamic now get used to it white boi
>>37225012
Some people arent meant to make it.
>>37221065
i was listening to stylo - gorillaz while i watched this webm and it really heightened a terrifying experience.
>>37221214
just the whispering part has got me dying
>>37221001
MDMA isn't molly dumbfuck
>>37222498
>not replying "only wii fit and zumba haha"
do you even meme brah?
>>37226226
lel
Lives for the mires,
doesn't get mired.
Rip me senpai
>>37208867
>but then I laugh and look them in the eye and even if it wasn't funny if they're feeling you they will laugh too just from awkwardness.
>>37209821
Dad mires are the best mires
>>37215890
THIS SENPAI
>>37224806
This was indeed me 9 months ago, makes me proud now to know how far ive come
>>37226650
I was just kidding, it's a good progress
>>37226685
Y-you too
