http://www.cracked.com/personal-experiences-2222-i-weigh-5002B-pounds-5-realities-extreme-obesity.html
This has some absolute crackers in it.
> The empathy-challenged of the world seem to think they've got it all figured out when it comes to staying thin: "Just put down the bucket of chicken, fatty!" But it's not that easy...
> "While my diet isn't great, I don't eat anywhere near [a pound of bacon and a dozen eggs for breakfast]," Rachel continues. "Maybe 3,000, 4,000 [calories] tops."
> Rachel admits that she sometimes eats too much: "If I go to Wendy's I'll get the double cheeseburger, large fries, and large Frosty," but as she points out, "that's not outside the norm of what a lot of people get."
> Don't try to tell us you haven't had a similar meal in the not-too-distant past. The difference is that your existing fat and your genetics aren't also punching you in the face every time you open your mouth.
> When you've already got addiction issues -- as the two-pack-a-day-smoking, video-game-junkie Rachel clearly does -- it's one more obstacle to smash your metaphorical genitals into.
And so on.
Fat peeble, pls.
>>36736551
The physics bending "science" in #5 legit made me rage.
> #2 - There Are Almost Insurmountable Barriers to Getting Healthy
> There was a gym attached to the hospital here, and I was asking for that kind of assistance [from the hospital valet] -- that they could pick me up and wheel me to the pool so I could exercise, and then wheel me back. First they said it was okay, but I would have to pay for 15 minutes of personal training, which was fine. But then they called back and said I couldn't go at all. They said I was too fat to go to [the hospital's] gym."
>>36736551
The article implies that fat gains are linear, which is false. Once you reach a certain point of fatness, you start burning more fat just by xisting. Just by overeating 500 cals a day from a healthy diet you probably won't get much bigger than "chubby"
>>36736551
I miss when cracked was good.
Maybe it wasnt very factual, but at least it was entertaining.
>>36736551
>You see, most of the guys sending those messages aren't asking for dinner and a movie. Since society makes so many of them feel ashamed of their preference, "There are a lot of guys who like big women but they do it on the down-low," Rachel says. "They won't take you out to eat or to the movies, but they're more than happy to fuck you. It's almost like another sexuality; you have to be in the closet about it." It's almost the same problem conventionally attractive people have: You can't get anyone to look past the outside and love you for you. Getting sex is easy -- getting love is hard. "I end up feeling like a fetish more than a human being," Rachel laments. It turns out that women of all sizes get to be objectified. Lucky them.
TRIGGERED TRIGGERED TRIGGERED
>>36736638
But the more weight you put on the more you need to eat to overeat, thus they are linear
>>36736677
Read my post. 500 more calories than a healthy diet.
>what is reading comprehension
>>36736666
Super Satan!
She IS a fetish. No one is looking to settle down with someone they have to shovel food into, and help wipe their ass.
And the shit about NOT being able to lose weight is so much bullshit. All you have to do is eat under the 3580 that she is burning just playing vidya at her size.
Add in a token amount of movement and lose even faster.
Fuck this bitch, and fuck the enablers that reinforce her bullshit excuses.
>>36736700
> No one is looking to settle down with someone they have to shovel food into, and help wipe their ass.
You'd be surprised. I was watching one of those fat people series on TV, and some X-hundred pound hambeast had an enabler husband who enjoyed feeling 'needed', having to wait on his wife hand and foot. Over the course of the show, as she started getting healthy (well, you know, healthi-ER, comparatively), he actually left her because he couldn't deal with her new-found independence.
>>36736700
I didn't even notice my satan quads. Thanks for checking.
>>36736700
> no one will settle down
Not to defend the fatties, but I did see on the Tyra Banks show years ago a married couple that was into a fetish called "squashing". He was a scrawny skelly dude and she was obese. He got off on her falling on top of him "squashing" him I guess. I can understand being into the fetish but to go and marry your fetish...?
>>36736710
>>36736752
Both of you have just described a fetish.
The first is a feeder. His fetish is one of control. As soon as she no longer fulfilled his fetish, he split.
The second actually uses the word fetish.
Really, no mentally stable person would do this. It's not love, it's fulfillment. If you love someone, you put their needs above your own. That means you stop enabling for the sake of keeping them around. Maybe I'm an idealist.
>>36736657
SeanBaby is rolling in his grave for sure.
>>36736849
He still puts up and article every now and then. They're few and far between, but they're always 10/10
>>36736849
I miss the shit about science and animals.
>>36736899
Now it's literally Tumblr 2: List Format Boogaloo.
The amount of 'articles' about misogyny, GamerGate (still), oppression and gender equality is staggering. They throw a few swear words in here and there and think it constitutes comedy.
I used to laugh so hard I could barely breathe at times. Now most articles barely rate a smile. It's upsetting how low it's come.
>>36736923
Its a disappointing change to be sure.
>>36736666
>preference
HAHAHA you poor fucking deluded cow. If she could do physical gymnastics half as well as those mental ones she'd have a shelf full of olympic medals.
>>36736814
I'm with you on this anon, too bad we both have dicks.
>>36736657
>I miss when cracked was good.
Do tell, I put it down for unrelated reasons years ago and never bothered to pick it back up, how is it these days?
>>36736551
Hey fuckers I had a question. I'm fat but I'm trying, I went for a power walk earlier (since I'm not at the jogging level yet) and I get like a temporary color change in my vision. Like a sort of exercise blindness or something. Do I stop? Am I pushing myself too much and should slow down? Am I cursed to stay fat forever? Everytime I go for power walks I get this odd vision change
>>36739622
That isn't normal for something like walking. You'd probably do better to just eat less until you have human weights and then you start exercising.
Also, talk to a fucking doctor.
>>36739642
>talk to a doctor
No, and like I said. I was powerwalking, its basically my top consistent speed.
Why does this article keep getting posted. This is the third time in 2 days.
>>36739667
Walk normally for a longer time and eat less. Or never make it
>>36739589
It's a sjw hugfest, nice if you like to cringe every once in a while
>>36736551
wow what happened to cracked
>>36736692
yes what is reading comprehension, like you failed to comprehend his post.
when you weigh 500 pounds you need to eat far more than normal maintenance intake to survive.
>>36736849
I miss man comics
Thanks for reminding me why I don't go to cracked anymore op.
>>36739725
>It's a sjw hugfest
>read cracked from 2006-2013
>only Christina H articles are shit, the rest are passable, seanbaby as usual is GOAT
>stopped reading because reasons
>take a look last year
>every article is Christina H-tier now
JUST
>>36736551
Wew lad.
>>36736551
This is the third thread about it.
>>36739832
btw,
>>>/fit/cracked
check before opening yet another thread next time, shill
>>36739589
>Do tell, I put it down for unrelated reasons years ago and never bothered to pick it back up, how is it these days?
It's basically a clone of Gawker/Buzzfeed, except with "jokes", pretty sad desu, Cracked was my go-to site when I wanted to goof off in High School.
>>36736551
How absurd is the part where she's complaining about being a fetish? If there were not guys with that fetish no one would be sexually interested in her at all, she should be thankful. Fat guys aren't so lucky, there's not a lot of women with a fat guy fetish as far as I know. Pretty much any physical disadvantage women have there are some guys out there with a fetish for it, the opposite does not hold true.
>>36736657
I used to read it back when it was a magazine, a knockoff of Mad Magazine basically, making fun of movies and so on. They even had their own ripoff of Alfred E. Neuman. Somehow it became some Buzzfeed SJW thing somewhere along the line. And Mad Magazine started taking ads, and now they seem to only do 'satires' that they are getting paid to do, by the people they are satirizing, which sort of defeats the purpose.
>>36739622
Diabetes, your fucked now fatty
>>36736551
>it's one more obstacle to smash your metaphorical genitals into.
who has ever said this?
