>doing the press
>grandma walks over
>tells me she found someone who can help me get big
>grandmasbeentalkingtostrangersagain.jpg
>suddenly 6'10 foot tall prometheus giant walks over
>next thing I know I'm doing deadlifts for the first time while this guy screams down my ear
>If you don't pick up that weight I'm gonna rape your ass like the sissy faggot you are twinky boy!
>grandma just laughs while situated on a massage chair under warm blanket
>mfw she fucking invites him over for lunch the next day
>>36679155
congrats OP you are now gay
>>36679323
but I have a gf
Here's one from the other day
>eat a big breakfast before gym one morning
>at the gym do heavy squats, bench, and a PR press attempt
>time for deadlifts
>warm up with 135
>then 255
>oh shit sumthin doesnt feel right
>feel a gurgle in my stomach
>literally baby puke my morning oats onto the floor in front of like 8 regulars at the gym
>wipe the puke into the floor with my shoe and continue my workout
That's what they get for working out with their gfs in front of me
>>36679339
great! She can watch while prometheus takes your boipusi virginity
>>36679155
You have a pretty based grandma.
Cherish the time you spend with her.
>>36679155
This got me hard.
>>36679362
Stop! I'm on nofap! You're making me too hard!
>>36679540
relax senpai, a prostate orgasm technically doesn't brake nofap so you are a-ok! ;)
>>36679555
This. Doesn't count if you don't touch your penis.
Bite the pillow OP, you're gonna love this cock in your ass
Happened half an hour ago
>lat pulldown, last set
>unbelievably gorgeous upper classman walks over and stands next to the machine nonchalantly
>sneak peek at him no homo
>he says "We meet again."
>laugh too much, blush, don't respond, look at my feet
>run away as fast as possible after set
>he takes the machine when I do
What's wrong with me.
>>36680037
You've become a proper /fit/izen.
In other words, you're gay.
Welcome, brother, your complimentary oats are down the hall.
>>36680733
I was always gay.
>>36680733
>/fit/ is gay meme.
Stop this. Return 2 reddit.
Admiring a dude's aesthetics isn't gay and is how the "OMG WE'RE FIT AND GAY. MEMES RIGHT?" thing started.
>>36680792
Heterosexuality is overated. Pussy is for wimps, cock is for real men.
>>36680833
Except no I'm serious, I'm gay.
wat
>>36680884
Good for you my dude. But I just hate the
>everyone on fit is gay
>fit is so gay
Cause a majority of people here are straight
>>36679155
Who is this cum queen?
>>36681140
the lady doth protest too much
also, /fit/ is 10% gay, which is considerably higher than the global population which is 3% gay.
>be fatass
>going to the gym for a few weeks so far after putting my foot down on the whole being a fatass thing
>lost a few pounds even though I really don't know what I'm doing
>go late because I work until 11:30 pm
>one night a girl a couple years older than me (21) keeps coming over to spot me
>t-thanks.jpg
>she keeps looking at me in weird ways
>always gets uncomfortably close
>didn't think she liked me or anything because I was a fatty, just did it unintentionally
>keep catching her looking at the spots where my shirt or shorts slide, always with the weird looks
>incredibly uncomfortable but always get half a boner when she does it
>can practically hear her panting over me when she spots
I-is she a high-test female? What do, she's giving off the vibes like [spoiler]the girl who touched me funny in grade school who I learned years later got molested by her older brother.[/spoiler]
>>36681454
>spoiler doesn't work but ctrl+s does
t-thanks
>>36681374
Homos like taking care of themselves. What can we do?
>>36681454
ask her on a date to arbys.
>>36681454
> tfw no qt that comes over to spot me
I mean thats actually not true, but I dont like the girl in a sexual way
>>36681454
Honestly i think girls can be high test too.
My brother and our friend are both fat non lifters that are kinda tall and they pull plenty of hoes. Then theres me, a 5'9" /fit/ weirdo always in the shadows lurking.
>Third day of lifting weights, ever.
>Go to the free weights area
>High test Asian qt3.14 and her boyfriend (I assume? He was also Asian, so maybe her brother) are working out.
>Both are ripped as fuck, girl is squatting 1.5pl8
>Cutie looks at me as I pick up a barbell and gives me a smile
>I smile back as I proceed to deadlift 55 lbs.
>Smile turns to look of disgust; proceeds to focus on her workout 100%
>Finish my deadlifts and proceed to bent-over rows, again with 55 lbs.
>Boyfriend/brother says "You know, you should start on that" as he points to the Smith machine
>I say thanks as I start my OHP @ bar
>Finish and leave
>>36682002
>deadlifts 55lb
If you are new this is fine. We all start somewhere.
>rows the same weight
This is where you have a problem. If you can row your deadlift than youre not going heavy enough.
>>36682058
My rows did feel significantly easier this time around. I really don't know my limits yet, so I'm hesitant to just change my weights around willy-nilly. Is there a guideline I should follow when it comes to DL/OHP/squat/bench/row?
>>36682079
Have you heard of this secret program called "starting strength"?
>>36682114
Indeed I have; I've read the sticky.
I know HOW to lift, but not WHAT to lift.
I increased my weight this week and handled it; I'll increase it next week and continue to do so until I fail.
>>36682148
Well if you're deadlifting every A day and are adding 15lbs per training, and squatting all training days and adding 10lbs per day you shouldn't have this problem very long. And you certainly shouldn't add 15lbs per training on your row.
>>36682148
the sticky fucking tells you how much to add each time.
>>36682002
you should of smacked him with a pl8 for even telling you to use the smith machine
>>36683252
Doubt he can even lift a pl8 m8.
>>36680833
> thinkin /fit/ being gay is a Reddit meme
> being this much of a newfag
>>36681140
> what are jokes
>>36681148
That's a cartoon bro
>>36684170
so?
>>36679354
people who work out as a couple make me sick as well m80, if they had any manners they would have cleaned up your spew with their own shoes
>>36680833
>not knowing /fit/ is short for Fitness Dickinyourmouth
>telling others to return to reddit
