>>36649102
Self hatred
>>36649102
jesus why are fat girls so repulsive
>>36649124
pretty much this. i stopped drinking every night because i hated myself for it and i lost a lot of fat in the process and hated myself a little less.
then i started hitting the weights hard because how fucking dare i feel good about myself. now i only feel like a piece of shit on the inside instead of both inside and out.
I want to do a goruck challenge.
Also I hate myself and the pain is one way to deal with it
>>36649181
feelsbad, youre doing it all wrong
>>36649338
i think i am doing okay. the feelings of self-hate are pretty small now, they don't really bother me the way it used to. i think the drinking was contributing a lot to me feeling depressed. i actually feel really good most of the time now and don't feel guilty when i'm happy
Curiosity. I mostly just want to see what my face looks like without fat at this point. There's no way I'm going to look good or feel good about myself now, but I still wonder because I've been told I have a nice face by multiple people online and offline despite my weight.
I'm also curious to see how differently people will treat me after not being a fatass.
Before I understood I was going to have a fucked up body, it was the idea of being with someone that pushed me.
>>36649102
I can't stand my shit tier genetics after lifting for months. Without lifting id look 2x worse. I'd probably shoot myself if I stopped.
>>36649181
I don't understand all this effort
Isn't hating yourself so pointlessly just boring and tiring
I want to know I could kick the shit out of this fucking faggot and his smug cuckold face
>>36649102
the day I went in feeling like shit and found out my ex had moved on and had a "why even bother" moment and then some chad said "hey man, I see you in here a lot. If you ever need a spot or anything just let me know bro!"
I don't want my ass kicked in the race war by a girl.
>>36649102
I already lost any sort of hope I ever had of looking good and finding a partner who is proud and glad to be with me, cause no matter what my proportions are fucked my skin is fucked my face is fucked. But still I want to commit to making an effort and pursuing this lifestyle because I said I would. I chose a path and even if doesn't take me to where I want to be I won't go back because well, tbqh, "back" isn't where I want to be either
25% enjoyment of lifting, 25% wanting to look better, 50% lack of anything better to do.
I get bored easy and dont like laying around for too long.
>>36649102
I don't know.
Been suicidal for a few years now. Suprised I made it through the holidays.
Mostly I think I am just hoping that life isn't always like this, that maybe it gets better and I don't want to miss out.
>>36649124
Pretty much this.
I want to be an anime character IRL, and I've decided to choose Armstrong.
Of course, failing that, I could become Kamina or Viral.
My father. He's 58. My mom died less than a year ago at the old ripe age of 60. It was fucking terrible. Fuck cancer. We had such a fantastic year planned out, my dad just retired and then his wife of 42 years dies.
It's bullshit, and I realize that as my dad gets older he'll no longer have his strength and endurance as he did when he was younger. He's my hero, and I know I need to be in good health and strong enough to lift him, help him, etc when he gets older cause there's no fucking way I'll ever put him in a retirement home or something.
He's a big, strong heavy guy. So I need to be stronger to be able to lift him around when that day comes.
Seriously, fuck cancer. Today is my parent's anniversary and my dad is depressed as fuck.
>>36649124
This.
Also the source of my self-destruction.
Why do I seem to purposely want to suffer? I need to get my shit together.
