So /fit/,
Ive read the sticky, all the way through. I understand counting calories and micronutrients etc; and I have the willpower and motivation (only recently gotten desu) to start lifting and stop being a fat cunt. The reason is, I met a girl. She loves me, like, alot. And im god dammed mother fucking head over heels. Shes beautiful, witty, loves to play vidya games with me, all that jazz. Sounds super fucking tits, right? Yeah, im sure it does. The issue is, im fat and disgusting. She says all the time she doesnt care, says that she will live me no matter what, but I know she's disgusted by me (For reference im 6'0" and 278). I dont want to lose her guys. I love her so fucking much. It's the happiest ive been in years, being with her.... and im terrified she's gonna leave me. The reason that I come to you metrosexual internet weirdos is because i have some questions, and I was hoping you guys could answer them. They are as follows:
>can a human my size lose 15+ lbs a month?
>If yes, how many calories a day?
>If no, what's the most I could lose monthly?
>does jelqing really work?( just personally curious)
>how much muscle can someone gain every month, if all natty and trying to cut weight like me
>whats a good workout routine for a fat fuck like me? I have 5+ hours a day of free time
> should I just kill myself now, or is there hope?
If you guys could answer any of these questions, or maybe share some motivating things, I would love you guys forever.
Im ashamed I let myself get this big, and I just want to change for her.
>tl;dr im fat and have questions. Pls halp
Motherfucking shameless self bump
>>36535838
Tl;dr
>>36535880
Then look at the tl;dr, and the rest of the green text. Or dont. It probably doesnt matter.
>>36535838
In my opinion you can loose about 2 pounds a week healthy. Sooo close to 10 if you are good a month.
Goodluck tubby
>>36535838
In order:
>Yes
>Torrent Lyle McDonald's Rapid Fat Loss Handbook. The answers are in there and if you really care you'll need the book
>Jelqing does work, very slowly. If you do it wrong you'll fuck your dick up permanently
>The natty limit is just about 4 pounds of muscle mass in 10 weeks
>Starting Strength with accessories
>Don't be a fat idiot. Don't be fat. Don't be an idiot.
>>36535908
>>36535909
Thank you guys. Im sure it doesnt matter, but im really greatful. I just want to be amazing for her.
>>36535838
>Yes
>Less
>A lot, but if you do it too quickly you'll get skin flaps
>No idea
>If you want to gain muscle, eat more. If you want to lose weight, eat less. If you want to do both, eat at TDEE for a few months while lifting. Only possible when starting, and not ideal for either.
>SS
>There's hope.
There, I spoonfed it to you. Read the sticky you cunt.
>>36535838
Just kill yourself now.
Nobody cares about your fat girlfriend who's using you as a human wallet. She's probably cucking you already, I don't see how a fat dicklet like you even got a gf in the first place.
If you want advice just ask for it. We don't want to read an essay. Nobody cares. Stop being so fucking histrionic, try lurking or doing research before posting.
>>36535925
>I'm sure it doesn't matter
It only matters if you make it matter.
Here is what I would do if I were in your position:
Get Lyle McDonald's Rapid Fat Loss Handbook. Follow his protocol for 6 weeks exactly. He argues that you shouldn't use protein powder, but fuck that - you probably don't know how to cook. And if you don't know how to cook a diet consisting entirely of boiled chicken-breast is hell.
So for 6 weeks you're going to crash diet. You're going to drink 2 protein shakes a day - get about 160 grams of protein daily. You're going to take a multivitamin. You're going to take 6 servings of fish-oil. You're going to take all of that in a 6 hour window and it's going to feel like you're living in some dystopian cyber-punk future.
Every day before that 6 hour window into Snow Crash you're going to walk for 40 minutes. Doing this for 6 weeks is going to prime your body to do physical activity.
You're going to lose at least 30 pounds in 6 weeks. In the mean-time you're going to research how to cook for your fat self. And after those 6 weeks are up you're going to calculate your BMR and eat at that exactly for 2 weeks.
While you're doing this refeed you're going to start Starting Strength. It's 3 days a week - follow the basic program. Come back in 6 weeks and we'll troll you first, then explain what you need to do.
After your two week refeed is finished you're going to go back onto the protein sparring modified fast for another 6 weeks. Except this time you're going to cook chicken breast and vegetables and shit for yourself. Just about 2 pounds of chicken breast a day - your girl is gonna think you're trying to genocide all the world's chickens.
You're going to continue with Starting Strength. You're going to lose another 25 pounds. After this second 6 week PSMF you're going to calculate your BMR and eat at a 500 calorie deficit until you're where you want to be.
You're going to make it, motherfucker.
>>36536088
I'm in a similar physical situation as OP, are you not including working out or even cardio for those first 6 weeks?
