>tfw hemorrhoids
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You are currently reading a thread in /fit/ - Fitness
>tfw hemorrhoids
>>36433257
I have these I hope they'll go away when I'm healthy but that might be a meme.
>>36433257
eat fiber and do cardio u faggot
>>36433257
first time i got one i had no idea what it was and i tried pulling it out. it broke open and dark bluish red blood shot all over my hand and around the toilet. i blacked out and fell on the floor, and dad found me with my bloody ass hanging out of my pants.
>>36433257
I have had hemorrhoids for 9 months. Some time ago they prolapsed to the point where I had to use a match to burn them shut. They will not retract and are just hanging there like dingleberries
>>36435957
iktf. I've had hemorrhoids so many times they just lay there comfortably outside of my anus and every now and then make trouble but mostly I don't even feel it
>>36433257
Apply witchhazel when you wake up, after each BM, and a couple times just to "freshen" up down there. In 3 weeks they'll be gone.
>>36436010
Sometimes they start doing the Harlem Shake and decide to bleed. Thats why I can not wear light coloured pants.
>>36435916
>i blacked out and fell on the floor, and dad found me with my bloody ass hanging out of my pants.
Did he make you dress as a girl from that point on?
>>36436083
no but that is my fetish
>>36436111
same
>>36436083
>>36436111
>>36436127
never change /fit/
>>36436146
speaking of never changing, my fetish is guys being permanently dressed in drag, like a witch curses them and they have makeup a big wig and a dress they cant take off and live in it forever.
>>36436199
Cool
>>36436199
so they can never wash the clothes?
Also, why does it seem like there's a lot of people on fir with hemorrhoids? There's a thread about them fairly often.
>>36436199
That's hot. But for me it would only work if the guy was also forced to feminize his body. Take estrogen while cutting hard, doing nothing but glute isolation lifts only and so on until he was really skinny like an almost anorexic teenage girl with no discernible muscle mass except in his well proportioned ass. Not bony/muscly of course, rather nice and firm like a girl who does her squats. His penis would shrink until it was 2" erect and his nuts would be cut off at some point. Full body laser hair removal too.
Also that guy would be me
>>36436359
her ankles look brittle
>>36433257
>tfw anus bleeds profusely after every shit
Today it even bled even after I had taken a shower.
>>36436428
You say that like its a bad thing
>>36436428
She looks like a match that breaks when you try to light it.
>>36435957
>I had to use a match to burn them shut
What is wrong with you people
Fuk , hhave them too + a fissure , than is a scare , that shit is difficult to heal.
>>36433257
I had them for a couple weeks once
I was so frustrated by that shit I cut them open with a scalpel and squeezed them
>>36436018
this and an oral witch hazel supplement.
>>36436622
The ancient Greeks used to do something similar but I think they snipped them off too
>>36433257
Got a massive one about three weeks ago. It stopped hurting and bleeding after a week of witch hazel wipes 2-3x a day. It has gotten a lot smaller and it isn't bothering me anymore, but it is still there.
>>36433257
Do squats they said
Its good for you they said
>>36433257
Had one 3 months ago. It lasted about 3 weeks before it went away
>>36437220
Squats don't cause inflamed hemorrhoids you dipshit.
Stuff that's not regular shit going through your anus causes inflamed hemorrhoids.
Eat more fiber, drink more water, and stop fucking yourself in the ass
Is constant anal tearing the same as hemorrhoids?
Every other time I take a shit, I'll see streaks of blood in my stool.
I always figure it's a tear I've gotten from pushing, but it never has enough time to heal due to frequent shits.
>>36437290
They definitely exacerbate them!
2 years ago
>Felt my anus once
>found a small one.
>fuck it, time to squat
>check again after squats
>shit, it actually got bigger!
>had gf take picture of it
>she made me delete it cuz evidence of my butthole pornography
>take one week break from lifting
>disappears completely
>never came back
>>36437334
Any sort of exercise causes increased blood pressure, which would aggravate an already inflamed hemorrhoid.
It went away because they just do after a couple of weeks if you stop shitting rocks.
Best advice I've used is to limit toilet time.
I used to get them a lot more often, when I would sit on the toilet for ~30min just reading news, Chans, etc.
Started limiting myself to 5min at a time, haven't had any since.
>>36437334
Dude hems are caused by regular inflammation, pressure, and in general your asshole not relaxing.
Squats do not regularly cause them, if they do youre squatting too regular.
>>36433257
I felt this feel for the first time ever a couple weeks ago. Exercise helps, which I can assume you're already doing. Also, staying off your ass obviously helps as well as not just standing around. Basically keep your circulation going so that blood isn't pooling in your ass sack. If it does it could cause a clot and it'll feel like 30 giga-niggas ran a prison train on your boipussi. I had that for a couple of days. The clot, not the prison train.
Also, eat more fiber and don't strain when you shit. Your shits should be practically falling out of your ass on their own.
>>36437532
I said they exacerbate them, not cause them.
Yo have not known pain and dscomfort until you have had a thrombosed external hemorrhoid. For five days straight about 18 months ago I couldn't fucking move without feeling like a spicy-fingered Indian boy was giving my asshole a nipple-cripple. This thing was the size of a grape. Utter despair. I know I will get another one, I know am going to have another one because I think it's partly bad butthole genetics. I just hope it is a long time in the future.
>>36433257
I had a hemorrhoid 6 years ago and it left me with a skin tag on my ass. It sometimes itches and can be uncomfortable.
I'm considering going at it with a scalpel.
There is a distinct difference between hemorrhoids and prolapses - though infrequently related. Squats, in general, do NOT cause hemorrhoids (prolapses can be different).
Everyone, near everyone, will get some degree of hemorrhoids in the life. They come and go for some - others one time occurence. Watch the butt hurt and rough toyplay.
Sitz baths, no prolonged time on the toilet, witch hazel and clean anal health - clear up most. Some people will need increased fiber or regular fiber supplements in their lives.
Peace
>>36436249
diet related
>>36437704
>30 giga-niggas ran a prison train on your boipussy
>I had that
>The clot, not the prison train
Thanks for that anon, I needed the laugh.
>>36433257
lol get installable bidet from amazon for 30$ you white trash faggot
>>36437792
It does come back, but next time you're ready for it. You know about slitz baths, eating fibre, have rhoid cream ready etc.
Bastard doesnt have a chance
>>36433257
> eat right
> exercise
> don't rush shits, take a slow shit
> take saltwater baths instead of showers
Problem solved.
>>36435957
>>36436010
The fuck is wrong with you guys?
This problem is pretty easily fixable.
Amazed by the number of people trying stupid shit to get rid of them themselves, instead of simply seeing a fucking doctor.
>>36437998
It's good to laugh unless you have a thrombosed hemorrhoid. You will suffer if you enjoy yourself even a little.
>>36438276
In burgerland it's better to weld your asshole shut with a match than pay a doctor a thousand dollarydoos to prod at your anal berries.
stop consuming mass amounts of dairy, eggs and protein powders you retards. All that shit is so mineral dense and makes you shit rocks
>>36438560
No it doesnt you fucking retard
