Why aren't you at Crossfit?
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>>36260730
Because I'm not retarded
>>36260730
I hope you are not of serious.
So a Samoan, A Mexican-Armenian and a guy from Ohio walk into a gym...
>>36262495
Seth (Colby) actually isn't Mexican. He just took his step-dad's last name.
'cause amb neither a fag or stupid.
>>36260730
They kicked me out when they saw I didn't have a bleached asshole
>>36262512
El hijo de mi esposa
can Dean Ambrose just shave his head and stop trying to convince everyone he's not balding
>>36262728
He would look awful bald and his balding isn't too bad. The crazy hair fits his character
I like my joints
>>36260730
Because I don't belong to a Crossfit gym, and I don't know where one is. And I'm happy with my current gym and have no desire to switch.
Also, it's 1 AM and they'd be closed anyway.
>>36260730
Just curious.. What are some crossfit routines?
>>36263279
I think the whole point is that there is like a central home office somewhere that actually dictates the "Workout of the Day" (aka the WOD) to all the Crossfit franchises. I dunno, google it.
>>36262597
El cuckado
spending stupid amounts of money to look stupid and get skinnyfag results
>>36262597
>>36260730
what program will help me get a Jon Moxley physique?
>>36263517
He used to be in incredible shape and was a way better wrestler in CZW. Shame what the WWE did to him
>>36263279
Rotator Cuff Annihilators 3xF
Sychronized Tandem Kipping Muscleups 3xF
Mid-Life Crisis Static Holds 3xF
Rhabdo 1xF
I'm so fucking tired of this "CrossFit will kill you" thing that's going on here.
YES that are a lot of videos on Youtube with newbies doing dumb shit. But walk into any regular gym and watch what newbies are doing there: elbows flared bench pressing every day, catback deadlifting, incredibly imbalanced exercise selection etc.
YES it's unwise to start doing a bunch of snatches when you don't have the prerequisite shoulder mobility, but in regular gyms people are doing behind-the-neck presses and pull-downs and upright rows.
YES if you only do WODs then you probably won't get far physique-wise, but look at the average gym-goers "routine" - it fucking blows and won't get you anywhere either.
The bottomline is this: If you hate CrossFit based on the number of newbie idiots who do it, then you should hate regular lifting just as much!
>>36260730
I like not ending up in a wheelchair.
>>36263878
>YES if you only do WODs then you probably won't get far physique-wise, but look at the average gym-goers "routine" - it fucking blows and won't get you anywhere either.
so crossfit isnt shitty because other gym goers that dont do crossfit do shitty things
ok
very logical
what happens when there is an EMP attack and nobody can logon to the internet to check the new WOD
what happens then
>>36263945
>very logical
My point CLEARLY wasn't that CrossFit can't be shitty, but that it's stupid to hate CrossFit while liking regular lifting when in fact equally stupid shit is going on.
>>36260730
Cause I'm not a pencil dicked, HGH shooting bearded crypto-jew who is friends with a Samoan Spearchucker and Dean Ambrose.
>>36265584
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I hold the kipping record at Crossfit Absolution, and I’ve programmed numerous WODs to involve functional movements that mimic real-life activities, and I can do over 300 weighted assisted pullups. I am trained to do jumping squats and I hold the top Fran time in the entire Crossfit community. You are nothing to me but just another rep for time. I will wipe you the fuck out with elite fitness the likes of which has never been seen before in metcons, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting Crossfit HQ and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the burpees, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little warmup you call your workout. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can fake pullups in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just on my own Rogue P3 bar. Not only am I extensively trained in overhead deadlifts, but I have access to an entire arsenal of kettlebells and I will swing them to their full range of motion to wipe your miserable ass off the face of fitness, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit Paleo fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.
>>36263878
You're forgetting...
- The Kool Aid is swallowed by every and any urban SWPL 40 watt drone.
- 'Certs' to infinity are pure pyramid scheme.
- The unbelievable cost of membership vs gyms in the area. I'd tolerate it more if the people signing up in the USA admitted (rightly and understandably) that they are primarily joining Crossfit to keep the naggers and spics out.
- Glass, the creator, not practicing anything he preaches.
- The shitty games with KEKworthy content even at the very top.
- All the top athletes are on the gear, yet noobs still believe their natty.
- Even the bitches rub test on their forearms creating funny scenes reminiscent of the 1970s East German women's swimming teams as they scream and roar as they lift puny weights in an arena.
- No body of note or athlete of note has been created using Crossfit methods, i.e. without the use of anabolics or internal Crossfit approved workouts.
>>36265604
This is my favourite variant yet
I don't make six figures.
Expensive bullshit.
>>36266109
I'm a student and find the time and money to go. That's an excuse.
>>36262728
Baron Corbin needs to do this too.
Come back Seth. We need you
