Anybody on /fit/ grew up without a male role model? I did, my father was never there. Now I'm a weak minded faget without self confidence, no matter how heavy weights I lift I can't become a man.
How to fix this?
Arnold, Stallone and robocop were my male role models when i was a kid
grew up with a single mom, older sister and a cat
20 y.o. virgin here
>>36046712
Find a chad friend ASAP. It's like having a big bro that you can learn from and look up to. I used to be like this too so i feel you
>>36046740
Grew up with a normal, functional family. 20 virgin as well
>tfw had everything going for me and still am a fuck up
>>36046749
OP here, I'm trying to become friend with chads, and it's really like having a big bro to learn from, but I'm too much of a non-normie and social retarted to keep up friendship with someone. The last time I had a friend was in high school, and now I'm 22
I guess I'm fucked up
;....;
>>36046757
I saw a group of young teenagers going swimming together today. 3 girls, 3 boys, probably around 13 or 14. I never felt such a feel when I realized they experience something I can't even manage at 20. The thought of having a girl to actually like me and have real sex became so surreal over the years.
>>36046712
i lost my father at 16 but i don't blame him for all my fucking problem like a bitch. Grow the fuck up, if you are not a man it's because you are a pussy not because your father was distant.
>>36046712
>needing a role model
>needing a model to role yourself after
>needing an man in a role to model yourself after
But srs though
>knowing the cause of something bad about yourself
>still thinking it's the cause
People who have low self confidence because of a lack of positive role model don't realize that's why... It's the same for most things.
You can't find the hidden reason for why you are a certain way and then still continue to blame that reason.
Once you are away of the cause that was out of your control, you are free to choose control over your problems, allowing you to stop being such a cry baby faggot.
I'll put it in a /fit/ situation for you.
Whale (1) boredom eats. She doesn't realize it and continues to do it.
Whale (2) boredom eats. Someone informs her of this. But she denies it to herself and continues to do it.
Whale (3) boredom eats. She realizes this and now has the power over her own situation.
Just suck it up and accept what has happened happened. It only has an effect on you now if you CHOOSE to hold on to that excuse.
LOWER FAGGOT!!!
>tfw dad committed suicide when I was toddler
>only boy in a house with mum and 3 sisters
>tfw youngest sibling
>tfw know I'm the favourite
I still have a good group of guy friends and able to pick up girls relativelty easy. Plus lifting and looking good makes my sisters really jelly
>tfw 5'5
Felt mandatory
>>36046949
>pick up girls relatively easy
>5'5
How old are you and where do you pick them up?
Do you purposefully go for girls the same height or smaller than you so as to not get rejected by taller women/girls in heels?
(not hating)
>>36046712
My dad wasnt around much, my older brother was a drug addict, my stepdad was an obese pansyboy.
I was never taught how to use tools, how to work on my car, never told to be active or what to eat. I had to figure it all out all on my own. I taught myself how to shave which depresses me sometimes.
I sacked up and figured it out. There are books and youtube videos for how to fix things, there are tons of resources for how to lift. Be thankful that you live in a time where all of the information you need is easily accessible. It's not ideal but people in your situation 30 years ago had it a lot harder.
The only thing you need is the will to learn. Without that youll never make it. Good luck bro.
>>36046712
You don't need a male role model.
I grew up without my father for my entire life and he said things to me that a child should never be told.
You know what you do? Make yourself to determined to be better than him in every way.
I'm determined to be great so that when I have a son, I'll be the kind of dad he tells stories about for the rest of his life.
Be your own fucking man.
>>36046712
My dad was great except that he trird to teach me to be beta with girls even though that's not how he treats my mom, which probably has something to do with him growing up in a single mother household. My mother was the one who taught me the ins and outs of how girls think.
Thanks mom.
>>Asian workaholic parents who split when I was 11
>>Didn't give a fuck. Did normal teen shit became a fuckup.
>>Turns out I was the rolemodel for my brothers and they're pretty successful.
>>36046847
I completely agree with your logic, but sometimes it is good to have someone to look to, or to lean on. You can't always stay strong, and when you need that support good parents can make all the difference. Even a 5 minute phone call can make the difference between fucking up or breaking, and continuing forward.
>>36046712
I'm not black
>>36046847
Well, I'm the "whale (3)"
The thing is
How to man up and become a real man? I dont have enough confidence.
>be Asian
>dad runs out on family literally 10+ times for more than 3-8 months each time throughout my youth
>ran out on my mom when she was in the restroom once
>get raised by mom
>mom doesn't know how to raise a man
>never listen to mom, thank god I didn't or I would've been the biggest beta on earth
>the only negative from all of this is I'm an extremely cold person and will cut off contact completely if you cross me and also I don't trust my family at all
I think I did pretty decent
>>36047243
>you can't always stay strong
Who do you hear saying that? Not people who stay strong anyway.
That's an excuse people choose to tell themselves when they can't suck it up.
There is always, ALWAYS a way to stay strong without relying on support of others. Fucking always.
Always.
There is literally nothing possible that cannot be done. Nothing. The only things that you cannot do are physically impossible for ANYONE to do. And I know you ain't saying it's impossible for anyone to stay strong without relying on other people. Other humans. I know you aint saiyng that because it ain't true.
Look. We have all (hopefully) done reps til failure at some point in our lives. We have pushed physically to the point where it is IMPOSSIBLE to continue. Not too difficult, but physically impossible.
Now can you honestly tell me this has happened to you emotionally. Tell me gone to the absolute limit to what you could be going through mentally, but the laws of the universe are making it IMPOSSIBLE to continue without having someone to 'lean on'.
Yeah. That aint ever happened. You stop being strong with you decide it's too difficult. Not when it stops being possible. So don't give me any of this "can't".
You CAN'T always stay strong. Says who? Says you? Says you because you ain't got no role models growing up?
Are you at least going to hit a PB next time you lift? Are you going to add an extra rep to EVERY fucking set you do tomorrow? You can't? Or you wont?
Fucking do it. Achieve everything.
>>36046985
26
Honestly bro, I don't go to clubs or bars. I have a pretty brash personality that isn't good for meeting people for the first time if they have a chance to escape lol. I meet girls through work or friends of friends or just if I see them all the time and I sort of grow on them. It's fucked up but I take advantage of it. I'm always told when people first meet me I'm either weird or an asshole but once they get to know me I'm a real cool guy, so I play on that and just sort of let it happen knowing full well if they get to know me for long enough they'll like me
If I don't get passed the initial "coffee shop conversation" phase I just don't care what they think, cause I know they're wrong lol. I'm a little arrogant.
About the height thing. Don't really seek girls a certain height and most girls where I live aren't really much taller than 5'7 so I'm OK with that.
>>36046712
Become your own man.
>>36046712
Yeah, my dad was an abusive alcoholic who later left.
Lost my virginity at 19, was a drug addict from 16-20. Dropped out of college at 20 and went back 2 years later. Now I'm the most responsible person in my department, a straight A student, have publications and been clean for 2 years. Women mire me but I'm a bit too misogynistic since I've worked hard for all that I have right now and I was always alone. I've never met a woman in college who had to put enough effort into life for me to respect them.
>>36046712
I'm from a sperm donor, cause my mom divorced and never remarried but still wanted kids. If you're weak that's your fault. My mom was great but overly protective and never learned me anything about being strong or manly, I learned it myself. Its called not being a little bitch and just work with what you've got.
>>36046712
I grew up in an orphanage and multiple foster homes
Not a single "dad" I ever had treated me like a son
I just looked up to whatever coach I had at the time
>>36047481
Seems I'm talking to a 12 y old. Lmao
>>36047660
Seems like I'm talking to a faggot.
Father left when I was 13. He was mostly abusive but often very philosophical and eloquent for his background so up till that point I gre up in some sort of Stockholm-syndrome-like affection to him.
Then he left on me and my mum and my 2yr old brother which caused some serious damage to our mother leaving her emotionally unstable most of the time.
She is far from a rational and collected person but she possesses an inhuman drive towards her goals and i'm happy I learned how to be resilient from her.
Also inherited some of my dad's ability to get along and pick up girls regardless of how much of a bum I can look at any time.
Other than that, I don't respect either of my parents for their character traits. I would geniunely be unhappy if I find out I exhibit any of them.
What I'm happy about is that i'm being some sort of role model for my brother even though the abandonment and shouting at home definitely put a mark on his psyche. I can only hope he doesn't have to spend so much time learning life as I had to figure out for myself at his age.
>>36047685
You are, actually.
Now post dat determinate ass, bb
>>36047556
Pirdy much this.
>>36046712
Kill an enemy and fuck their body
>>36047748
>tfw you'll never have a tan, strong, beautiful bf with vascular hands touch your white, flabby thighs
I was raised by my mom and was destined to be a beta faggot. My saving grace was going to work construction with my neighbor at age 14. You're surrounded by crude, hard working, guys and you have to pull your own weight and not bitch.
23 yo kissless virgin here
Is it too late for me to make it?
>>36047838
Says who?
>>36047859
It is if you let it consume you
>>36046712
go through a break-up with a girlfriend
>>36047859
Whats the situation like?
>>36047420
are u me?
>>36046712
I can tell you that at this point, as far as I am aware, I have never met anyone who's life is anywhere near what I want/need mine to be, nor have I met anyone that could even help me with some of the more human aspects, such as gender dysphoria and actually structuring your future for financial success and prosperity
>growing up poor white Christian in America
>>36046712
>How to fix this?
Quit being a faggot.
>>36047685
no he was right. you sound like a kid who's never lived day in his life and yet thinks he knows it all.
>significant age difference between me and my brother
>older brother goes into highschool while parents are together
>parents get divorced
>I go into highschool with only my mom
>genuinely believe into my 20s that if I'm kind and likable to everyone I'll have success with girls
>27 years old now
My dad got me to sign a sign a letter of attorney when I was 17 and got complete control over the inheritance from mom.
So far he has put me 1.6 mil in the hole through this and the nightmare still isn't over.
j=Just like most of us, i was rasied my my mother at the age of 4.It's because my father was an alcoholic, and was beating her so she left, and had to raise me and my new born brother alone, so i'm pretty much his role model actually, even if i hadn't any role model myself. Today my father is at a psychiatric hospital, and completly alone, so i decided to help him as soon as i'm finishing my studies ... But well lifting is kinda much what gave me that self confidence i needed to go forward, and to be a successfull student
>>36048049
i cant say that i didn't grow up without a role model because my dad was with my family until i was around 10, good man.. i truly love him and he taught me a lot of lessons i still use today
>tfw dad dies of heart/weight-related problems when 8 years ago when im 10 yrs old
>be an obese child
>make a pact with myself and my late father to get /fit/ and stay healthy for life
>begin playing sports, eating well when 13 yrs old
>now almost 19, i have unlocked swole-nigga mode and plan to stay this way for life
we're all gonna make it anons
>>36047594
i feel you with the woman part.
>>36046712
My dad is stoic as fuck, we rearely talk and thats when he shared an anecdote, of 15-20 years ago or something. But I dont really know what Im suposed to expect
>dad was an abscent drunk after i turned 12 or so
>moved out at 16
>only really cared for him in the late stages of alcohol
>found his body 3 days dead in a lot of excrement
>started lifting to become a stronger man after
were gonna make it i promise
>>36047957
I guess you feel better thinking that, right?
My dad is an asshole and a coward and I never learned to be hard and disciplined so now I'm soft af. What can I do to build character and discipline myself? I'm think about joining the army or even the FFL because my country's army is just beer bellies filling out papers.
>>36047924
another one? I thought my case was rare since my dad was Asian
>>36047634
This
Learn from the collective experience of everyone you meet, and everything you read
>>36048157
Stay strong breh
Love this place, because it reminds me that I'm not all alone in this.
>>36046712
Do you have more wl pepes?
>>36048506
this hurt
like, way too much
I'm gonna call my dad
>>36046712
grew up with a single abusive mother who eventually abandoned me and ended up homeless at the age of 13
I am now 25 years old and afraid of everything including people and of course still a virgin
>male """""""""""""""""""role models""""""""""""""""""""""
most of those fuckers are sexist, traditionalist bastards, you're better off without them! single mothers usually raise nice, compassionate and caring guys!
>>36048576
Call him. Show your love to your family while you can. You never know what happens tomorrow.
>>36048506
women... DO THINGS LIKE THIS
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THEM
HEARTLESS FUCKS
>>36046712
I'm glad my high school dropout of a father wasn't there. I'm glad he wasn't around to make it seem like living with your mother well into your 40s is acceptable(plus not really having a job)
>tfw bullied all my life
>never wanted to fight even if could win
>shut in(cant be bothered to work from depression and anxiety)kv at 19
JUST
>>36048118
I was conceived through a sperm bank, my father was abusive and left when I was 3. Now, I'm a freshman in high school with no self confidence or friends and a single mother who hates men so raises me to be beta. I make up for my self loathing by eating well and lifting weights.
>>36046840
>at 16
Piss off
Dad dead at 5 lol was in foster care anyway so it was kinda meh. Am beta faggot though.
>mom breaks up with my dad before I was born
>never get to meet him because my family is pissed at my dad for breaking up with my mum before I was born.
>dad goes on team building exercise with work but the plane he is in crash's.
>Only one who survived the crash only to die of his wounds on the way to the hospital.
>Fast forward few year mom get married to other guy.
>get a half sister only to have my now step dad die 8 year later of a heart attack.
I guess with all of that happening I turned out all right. I got gf for 4 years now and a nice place to call our own. However the one thing that bugs me is that I never met my father's side of the family who apparently got a lot quite a bit of money. Also they do not know of my existence.
>>36047113
>grew up without father
>he said things to you
pick one
>>36046712
Like 80% of burgercucks under 40 did m8.
>tfw grew up with traditional family and free from all the meme "illnesses" that /fit/ claims to have
I'm convinced the vast majority of autism, ADD, anxiety, etc diagnoses are code for "grew up with no male role model and was raised by a TV"
>>36049770
Growing up without a male role model can cause all those sort of problems.
>>36047506
where do you live? country I mean.
>>36047506
I've got a 44 years old friend with exactly the same personality as you. The first time you meet him you think he is a super asshole, but after a some time he grows in you. I really love him.
But he is 44, single, and bangs prostitutes to keep sane
So you better change while you can
>>36049702
You're better off not mixing family and money so just avoid that curse.
>>36047060
seriously who needs teaching how to shave? i can understand with a straight razor but with any safety razor its as simple as slapping some foam on and dragging it down your face.
>>36047859
If you start to beleve its too late to make it and dont try to make it your not gonna make it. your 23 ffs the only thing stopping you getting where you wanna be is yourself... faggot
>>36050090
gotta be a bit more careful with the single blade ones tho, gotta let gravity do most of the work
>>36050168
yea but i don't understand this father teaching them how to shave bullshit. why is it such a big thing. it takes literally 5 minutes to work out how to do it
>Parents divorced when I was 6
>Lived with 4 sisters and Mom
>All whores
>Completely failed with women even though I was attractive
>Missed countless opportunities
>Start to improve myself finally in my mid 20's
>Join the Infantry because it's home to male daddy issues as the pole is to females.
>>36046749
I love my chad friends to death, they look like chads, but play leauge & dota, but still are fun guys to go out with and they lift.
I'm pretty jealous of anyone who had an older brother, I belive if i had one I'd be less of an autist
I'm going to sound like such a homo but whatever. My dad has never been too manly, and he usually had work during my childhood si I had to live with a house full of females, my dog, cat, mom and sister.
The best way I couped though, was chilling with my sister's long term boyfriend, kinda lame I know, because his dad was a real hick in a manlyish sense. I kinda still feel like a more feminine guy though.
Any other anons know my feels?
>>36047128
Pretty much the same for me. Learned a lot about handling women from hanging around my mothers place after my parents split.
>raised by single mom
>no brothers, only 1 sister
>molested by female babysitter (didn't hate it desu)
>always hung out with the girls at school because the boys were mean to me and pushed me around (because I was always the smallest)
>didn't start puberty until I was 18 (EIGHTEEN)
>became a beta as fuck doormat
>graduate highschool
>didn't have my shit together for college, so I didn't go
>mom makes me get a job
>get job at discount tire
>full of manly men doing manly things
>the transition was rough at first, but eventually I learned from them, and they taught me how to act
>my co-workers became the father I never had
>puberty in full swing, grow to 6'0 skeleton (at 17 all the girls were still bigger than me)
>co-workers introduce me to gym
>...
>now 21, 6'1, ottermode, no longer a complete beta bitch
>got first kiss on newyears
>going into military soon
The tide has turned in my life. I'M GONNA FUCKING MAKE IT, BREHS!
>>36047378
>How to man up and become a real man?
you find the things which you're fucking up on/which impede your life, you make a plan to change them, and then you follow that plan. That's all there is too it.
>>36050283
>The best way I couped though, was chilling with my sister's long term boyfriend, kinda lame I know
I can understand this sort of but from the perspective of they boyfriend. I was sort of that guy for my ex's younger brother. Keep in mind that I'm an only child who had no father figure myself. The situation for him was:
>youngest of four kids (I was dating his oldest sister)
>ages of the kids were -at the time- 19, 18, 16, 13
>he was the only boy
>they all live with their bipolar mom
>pretty poor
>dad had coke and booze issues; lives about three hours away and only seems them a handful of times per year
>every time I would go over, I would spend a bit of time with him when I wasn't getting into his sisters pants
>talk sports mostly
>kid fucking beams up
>can relate since I never really had any guys to talk about stuff like that growing up
>gf and her mom would both mention that he was always pretty excited when I'd come over
It's been about four years nearly since my ex left me, and I have no idea what he's become. He seemed like he'd be alright but in that time his sisters (not sure about my ex though) have become tumblr-tier SJWs from what I've heard. Hopefully he hasn't bought into cucking for feminism or some shit.
>>36047378
The first step is to realise that a "real man" doesn't mean fucking anything. There is no type of person you need to be to be a real man, a musician or an artist or an athlete or a scientist can all be masculine.
The only thing that makes you a man is knowing who you are, and refusing to change that for others. That's what you need to figure out anon, who are you? Not what do you spend your time doing, what sort of person are you?
Find what you feel most satisfied doing, and being, and work towards becoming that. Confidence comes with security, and security can only come from being in a situation you're happy with.
>>36047481
You're an idiot, drop the bullshit "You should do everything alone" mentality. No man is an island, and no-one should try to be, because we all have limits.
There's nothing weak about being able to rely on the people around you, or sharing a burden.
People who spend their whole lives trying to be solitary and tough, nearly inevitably end up unhappy, alone and stuck in situations they can't handle.
>>36047420
>ran out on my mom when she was in the restroom once
Kek
>>36050411
>can be yet another overcompensating beta faggot in uniform attempting to force himself into manhood as a hired gun
Just what the world needs more of
>>36049957
New Zealand.
>>36049988
Can you tell me what sort of person he is? In terms of qualities? I want to see the rest of future and how I'll grow into lol.
Though I honestly do think if I'm not settled with a girl for life by 44 I do see myself using prostitutes. I honestly don't think I could pull this stint forever
>>36046712
read Ernest Hemingway books
