![801carrycross[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/ksgO6cb.jpg "801carrycross[1].jpg")
> "Jesus carried the cross am estimated total deistance of 650 yards or
594.36 meters. The crossbar weighed between 80 to 110 pounds."
>this is somehow supposed to be impressive
He was up for most of the night, didn't get a preworkout meal, had spikes in his head, and was bleeding pretty heavily. Pretty impressive if you ask me.
>>36000454
Remember anon jesus was a spooky skellington
Well jesus was a a nigger and niggers have more fast twitch muscle fiber so it was impressive for him
Every time you break one of your PRs, Jesus was there spotting you.
>>36000494
Amen
>>36000488
WE WUZ PROPHETS NSHIT
>>36000454
He was whipped with a cat of nine tails for hours
>>36000488
Jesus was a protokike shitskin you knob
>>36000454
>Starved
>Dehydrated
>BIeeding
>Up for days in the beating sun
>Freezing during sIeepIess nights
>At this point the cross was nearIy (if not more) than his body weight
You're not seeing the whoIe picture.
>>36000479
Yeah, he had some thorns in his scalp, and wasn't he getting whipped and stoned as well?
>>36000454
>blood loss
>malnourished
>>36000454
>> "Jesus carried the cross am estimated total deistance of 650 yards or
>594.36 meters. The crossbar weighed between 80 to 110 pounds."
>>this is somehow supposed to be impressive
Anon you're missing the point.
He was a Jew
>>36000528
I'm positive that I could walk a mile with 0,5pl8 on my back under those conditions no problem
>>36000534
Yeah, he was whipped pretty heavily and was also stoned (got stones thrown at him) at one point.
>>36000454
I appreciate you trying, I never had any idea what the stats were, thanks
But he had been severely beaten, and as anon mentioned, had lost a lot of blood. In fact, the flogging he received (and everyone received) was capped with a legal upper limit to decrease the chance of death due to shock and blood loss so they could go on to suffer on the cross. So imagine that plus being publicly humiliated by people throwing rocks and spitting at you
Most men were strong and would have been able to do it easily, that's why the prisoners carried their own cross, so it really isn't a feat of strength exactly, just another part of the process and saves the guards from doing it.
>The more you know
>implying Jesus wasn't just a character in a book
>>36000563
You know what, for how dumb it would be...you'd be youtube famous if you legit recreated the circumstances, got your friends to whip you and throw rocks at you, finish the distance and look to the camera and say "Did I make you proud God?"
But in all seriously, Jesus was kinda of a boss for doing it. They fucked his ass up extreme, and he still did it.
>>36000494
>implying I trust that skeleton to deadlift 3 plates off my chest when I'm trying to PR on bench
he was too busy working miracles to get swole
>>36000454
People really ignore how metal the old testament was compared to the new
See: Samson
>>36000631
Pretty much.
There's a reason they indoctrinate the kids with the Old Testament. They wait until they can handle all the terrible shit that went on in those stories. They keep everything ReligionLite for awhile.
![samson[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/ysBlr4k.jpg "samson[1].jpg")
>>36000631
looks based desu
>>36000454
>Malnourished his entire life
Literally only things he had going for him was his love for God's Creation and the fact that he is God
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zhVsPSv__XA
>>36000626
you take that back heathen
>>36000454
>2016
>not doing starting crossfit
>>36000657
>Fact that is God
Don't know about you anon, but I think that counts for a fucking lot going for him. Never known anyone to say otherwise.
>>36000454
Well, they did torture and beat the fuck out of him.
>>36000653
Why is every dude in Yellow so fucking funny?
Guys... People ate really well back then. I think the only time they didn't was that draught that happened in Egypt or whatever when Joseph or whoever it was that worked for pharoah.
Anyway, people had a whole lot of food, they had stretch marks and shit. The plebs worked really hard and walked everywhere so they were /fit/
Jesus was a carpenter, he didn't just make chairs and shit he cut logs for houses roofs and stuff, he was grizzled, not pussy mcgee like the church likes to show him as.
I encourage you guys to sit in on history/archaelogy classes during the ancient times. It's really interesting to see how advanced they were. I used to think they were malnourished little hut dwelling sand niggers, but they had very complex infrastructure and industry.
>the more you know
>>36000739
Eh, Jesus was probably pretty DYEL. I mean, the dude fasted for months just 'cause.
>>36000766
And ate bread.
>>36000739
#JesusStretchMarks2016
>>36000739
>People ate really well back then
peasants didn't eat enough
>>36000626
>Implying you bench 3plates
>>36000803
There weren't peasants, this wasn't a feudal system like the Middle Ages. This guy was just a regular ol worker. Think like in modern times, he'd have been equal to like a janitor (fuck you christfags that get all upset at that image) sure he isn't wealthy, but he has plenty of food and an active job, so he doesn't get fat like a secretary
People today think being fat was seen as high class because that meant they had enough to eat, it was really because that meant they had enough power/money to have other people do their manual labor.
I've spread enough autistic knowledge with y'all. I'm gonna go study. Goodnight plebs
Hail Satan
Fuck your God. Jesus was just a bitch ass faggot that died promoting a beta lifestyle
>>36000454
It is for a jew
>>36000509
Kinky
>>36000488
Dude was semititc Caucasoid bro
>>36000629
If only he could work a miracle on your 1 Rep maxes
>>36000528
jesus christ order a new fucking keyboard i cant stand to read your posts in every thread i open
>>36000653
How much could Samson diddylift?
>>36000454
>fairy tale
>impressed by made up shit
>2016
>>36001361
Are you actually retarded?
God isn't real, but denying Jesus existed/was crucified is just plain ol' wrong.
Do your goddamn research, idiot.
>>36000454
HE HAD ALSO BEEN BEATEN AND WHIPPED WITH FLAGRUM AND KNEW HE WAS GOING TO HIS DEATH FOR PEOPLE LIKE YOU.
>>36001452
Shouldn't pain give him adrenaline strength? (semi-serious question)
>>36001439
lol
>>36000528
You missed
>Literally the son of God with magic powers
>>36001471
Well test it out.
Go to the track, tie 1pl8 to each foot, break both arms, and see how easy it is to walk a mile pulling 80lbs. See if the breaks give you strength.
>>36000534
Did you just say... stoned?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kKAWz4bIeLg
>>36001439
This.
Anybody that denies this is an idiot.
>>36001523
420 crucify it bruh
>>36000865
Liberating yourself from sins like laziness, gluttony, anger and other negative stuff is not beta, its alpha.
>>36001565
>le turn le other cheek
>>36001595
Only modern "Christians" promote the turn the other cheek ideology. They don't really care about what Jesus and the Bible say. Don't forget the Crusades and other just wars fought by Christians and Christian nations.
>>36000845
That's why he's going to have to deadlift it off my chest
>>36001439
you cannot prove either that Spiderman does not exist
>>36001628
>Muslims did nothing wrong1!!
>>36000626
>skeleton
>>36000454
A fictional character moving a crossbar at all is pretty impressive
>>36000766
Nah m8 he was fucking shredded, why else woild he cut so hard right before summer? checkmate atheists
>>36002402
Jesus was an actual person that was crucified for his radical religious beliefs. It was documented that the man suffered that punishment.
His divinity can be argued, sure, but my fedora's on the other side of the room.
>>36000494
Well said.
>>36000454
ゴミ箱チャットが性交シャット
>>36000494
>But I noticed, during the hardest lifts of my life, there was only one set of chalk prints on the bar
>"Why, Jesus, when I needed you the most, were you not there for me?"
>The Lord replied, "That's when I was spotting you."
>>36000454
this thread is lacking satan
He probably looked mostly like a terrorist. He was of middle eastern descent.
>>36001452
There were three gods before him in other religions that had exactly the same story. He's just a sun god on repeat. DIDN'T DIE FOR MY SINS
>>36002651
>It was documented
no its not, theres no record of him ever existing. Sure there were some people that went through some of the things he did, but as 1 person named jesus there is no record.
>>36000454
He didn't tho..
Matthew 27:32
As they were going out, they met a man from Cyrene, named Simon, and they forced him to carry the cross.
>>36002809
that was after he had already carried it the 700 yards you turd
>>36000454
WAS YISUS CRAIST ABLE TO FAST ROLL WHILE BEING WHIPPED WITH A CAT OF NINE TAILS, BECUZ I TRUSTH HE WAS ABLE TO WITHSTAND ALL THAT DAMAGE WITH THOSE SICK IFRAMES.
JESUS WATCHES EVERYTIME I BREAK A PR
>>36000613
Not just whipped though.
Jesus was scourged.
Gotta include those shards of bone and whatnot.
>>36000626
>ancient times carpenter
>skeleton
Pick one
Jesus would have been SWOLE man. he was a CARPENTER 2030 years ago
>>36000454
what everyone is forgetting is that he was a hoister too. Jesus lifted too. he just lifted bricks and logs instead of round disks phallic objects like us
>>36000865
>he'd have been equal to like a janitor
that's the point
>(fuck you christfags that get all upset at that image)
who would ever
It shows how all levels are equal in God's eyes. he was born in a manger. he's supposed to come from poverty
>>36001215
Philistine Dagon's temple x f
>>36001973
>/r/atheism
Jesus Christ was an empirically real person. Its his claim to being the son of God that is on debate.
>>36002851
Sorry I need to go back to Sunday school
>>36003007
lol I was just kidding. the bible is actually pretty cool. I'm getting into it more recently.
this thread actually just helped me with no-fap hahaha
>>36002788
Well meme'd
>>36002788
You and I must be the only two patricians who watched Zeitgeist in this board.
*secret redpilled handshake*.
>>36002721
Do you think Satan makes gains? I mean there's no way he doesn't right? I bet Hell has a fuckin sweet gym.
>>36000594
>Capped at an upper limit
By the jews, yes. The Romans had no limit so it was likely many more.
Also:
>starved in the desert for 40 days
>Lashed with pieces of bone, metal, lead etc
>Carrying the entire weight of the world's sin for reps x ∞
>Pushes an insane boulder out of a sepulchure entrance
Y'all need to git gud, Jesus was GOAT.
>>36000454
The crossbar would generally weigh between 80-110 pounds, but the cross itself weighted roughly 300 pounds. The average height and weight of the semite male during the supposed time of Jesus was approx. 5' 1" and roughly 110 pounds. In a poverty-stricken land in a dehydrated, wounded state, the fact that he apparently was able to even walk 0.6km let alone carry 300 pounds impresses me. To bad it's all a lie.
Doing so after the scourge is impressive. The lashes removed flesh AND bone from your body. It's a whip with little bits of metal at the end.
>>36004898
>To bad it's all a lie.
not a single historian denies the existence of Jesus of Nazareth.
He was also supposedly GOD. Which makes the entire thing so fucking unimpressive it hurts.
>>36000454
Considering he was tortured the day before, and the fact he's a hungry skeleton, I'd say that's fairly impressive
>>36005082
>having unlimited power makes any display of power, regardless of how impressive the display would be for anyone else, completely unimpressive
i mean, i guess if youre a jealous asshole this makes sense.
>>36000739
>People ate really well back then.
Hey Jesus Coleman, how do I gain weight when I'm hardgainer as fuck?
I can't gain weight to save my life, no matter what. The other day me and 4 999 other people ate like five whole loaves of bread and two fish and didn't pack on a single pound.
>>36005157
>if this was a true story about hesoos, This would be relevant
>>36000479
Not to mention he got whipped the day before.
>>36000494
That's a funny way of spelling zyzz.
>>36002800
Yes it was you edgy piece of shit the shroud in which he was covered still exists
>>36000494
>>36002880
He was born 2015 years ago tho
>>36007487
i hope you're b8ing m8ey
>>36006096
So jesus never existed? I'm asking if he as a human never existed not if he had powers
>>36007504
Wait, I'm serious right now was he not born in that time? I thought the whole before Cristo and after Cristo thing was based on his birth
>>36001112
He was most likely Arabic/Middle Eastern looking. Everyone else in that area at that time would have been, and the Bible specifically talks about how Jesus did not stand out in a crowd (as a white dude most definitely would have.)
>>36007541
>stem "education"
>>36007541
he wasn't a carpenter at 1 year of age ...
>>36007513
He existed, but he did not have any magical powers. He was just another guy.
>>36000699
Underrated
>>36000454
You forgot to add the weight of humanity's sins.
>>36001215
>>36002950
Donkey's jawbone x 1000
>>36007449
It's a pity carbon dating says said shroud is around 600 years old then.
>It's probably just another test of faith, like the dinosaurs
>>36000454
so what message jesus was trying to give :eat lightening shit thunder .. lift weight be /fit
>>36007541
They got the count wrong dude
Also, consider how he was supposedly born on Dec 25th of the year before he was born
>Religious "science" kek
>>36000454
his form was shit and yet he is a poster boy. guess that's Cross Fit for you
>>36007757
He wasn't born in December.
Dec 25 is the result of the Catholic church merging pagan holidays with Christian ones.
So it'd either be sooner of in the year 0 or the next year in year 1.
http://www.ucg.org/bible-study-tools/bible-questions-and-answers/when-was-jesus-christ-born-was-jesus-born-on-december
>>36002880
>round disks phallic objects
See a urologist
>>36000551
>Estimated
>to two decimal places
ebin
>>36007784
Oh you, Carlos!
>>36007784
>>36000766
>>36000773
>implying he didnt catch one fish and multiply it until he hit his protein macros when he wasnt cutting
>>36000488
Jesus was white
>>36000454
don't think he had a choice in the matter. Don't think gainz were on his mind that day.
cunt
>>36000454
Jesus is a fucking beta faggot. He ded.
>>36002788
this is false information
research your shit retard
>>36007941
Its a result of Emperor Constantine trying to merge religious holidays so that Rome would be more united. He merged Christmas with the a popular pagan holiday that was celebrated for Sol Invictus.
>>36002788
this is actually wrong lmao *le redpill tip*
>>36003193
Yeah... while there certainly are elements of older faiths worked into Christianity, numerous logical flaws, etc, zeitgeist was 90 percent bullshit. It's not something to rely on.
>>36001595
In the context of Jewish culture, turning the other cheek wasn't meant to promote pacifism, but to defeat force with cunning. If a Jewish man in that age was going to slap you, he'd do it with the back of his left hand. Turning the other cheek would force him to either use his right hand or use the palm of his left. Either of these would be a cultural acknowledgement that you are at least his equal.
>>36000494
At last I truly see
https://youtu.be/4nAdVnAQ8n0
>>36000563
You do not live in an age where nutritious food was a luxury.
Not even gonna mention that the said guy was fasting for 40 days straight before, living on nothing, probably a vegetarian too.
This was also a spiritual thing. Why are you not focusing on the fact that the very same cross could not be lifted by the guy who was known as a strongman, simon from cyrene, could not lift it.
The cross was magical and shit.
>>36009436
Oh wait, that cant be right.
>>36008416
No, as I already stated above, based on the time and location in which he lived, he would have been Middle Eastern. The Bible specifically talks about how he didn't stand out in a crowd like a white guy would have in that part of the world at that time.
>>36001439
There is actually zero evidence that Jesus existed outside of religious texts. On the other hand the idea of a popular middle eastern philanthropist being unjustly crucified and thus mythologized isn't THAT far fetched. Through you could make a similar arguement for Heracles and the like as well.
>>36000479
>>36000454
I'm sorry but i can't tolerate any sacrilegiousness on my christian vietnamese sweat-shop m8.
>>36007513
There are no actual records of him existing but the story isn't super far fetched so lots of people accept that it probably is somewhat based on true events. It's more likely that he is a character created to represent an ideal and his torture was a made up account based on the authors witnessing of several crucifixions.
>>36008990
Or just backhand you in the nose.
>>36007941
Looks like you know a lot. Pls tell me more about this year 0 you talk about.
>Son of the one true god and also a dove that raped a plebeian woman
>Also god himself (??)
>Can walk on water and violate the conservation of mass-energy
>Walked into a temple and roughed up a bunch of jews when he was young and swole
Looks promising, but then:
>Turns to veganism and goes on a 40 day fast
>Loses all his gains, up to the point he can't carry a pituful LMAO1CROSS for 600 m
>Ends up carrying only the bar aka 0 kg (only crossshitters count the bar)
>>36010085
>>36009525
He also transfigured himself to not be recognized. The Lebanese Philistines currenty native to Canaan are not genetically the same as the Judeans of Christ's time
>>36010203
He's a shapeshifter too?
>>36000454
Allah (swt) is the greatest to be rather quite honest ladm8
>>36010429
How much did he lift?
>>36010203
r u mr socko from dubtrack?
>crossfit
>>36010349
Not exactly. He was hiding his power level
>>36010458
No, Ive been using the nname socko since 2003 online though
>>36000631
>Samson said to them, "This time I have
a right to get even with the Philistines; I
will really harm them."
>So he went out and caught three
hundred foxes and tied them tail to tail in
pairs. He then fastened a torch to every
pair of tails,
>lit the torches and let the foxes loose in
the standing grain of the Philistines. He
burned up the shocks and standing
grain, together with the vineyards and
olive groves.
Samson was the fucking man.
>>36002788
Hiroyuki should add a religion board.
>>36010666
By darkening his skin and altering his facial structure?
Man oh no he was dehydrated and sleep deprived, man I'm just an average infantry dick and I could do that shit under way worse fucking conditions. As long as you don't die you can do pretty much anything desu
>>36000528
>starved
You mean fukin shredded
>>36000494
Preach, brother.
>>36011549
We've had one for a whiIe.
>/poI/
>>36000534
>>36000573
Wish I had gym bros that would motivate me like that. Jesus had it easy desu.
He was carb depleted on a serious cut or rather cuts.
>>36008990
>SLAP ME AS AN EQUAL!
The oIden times were odd man
>>36000454
>Implying he existed
>>36000479
He's a fictional character you fucking spastic.
>>36014704
is this bait
>>36014704
yea like george washington
>>36014720
No, it's reality.
>>36014704
>This euphoric meme
Yeah, Jesus is a fictional character. Rabbi Yeshua was a historical figure of great interest. Un-tip your fedora out of your eyes and read some Roman historians.
>>36014722
Did you know the first US prez was black?
>Crypto and wannabe jews getting ass burned
Sad cunts.
>>36014745
>>36007733
ITT: Intelligent folk are for some reason wasting breath on edgy, misinformed faggots
>>36014759
WE WUZ PRESIDENTS N SHIET
you dumbasses, it was just a prank! he was just pretending to be worn down! he literally came back three days later like nothing happened
>>36007784
Fucking kek'd
>>36014704
>Jesus
>fictional
Most people weather they are religious or not acknowledged his existence.
>>36000454
He was weak as fuck
>>36015328
Real=/=Exist, e. g. Homer Simpson exists but is not real.
>>36000454
Guys, can't believe you missed out the most important part.
He was only 5 feet tall.
>>36014722
Jorge washingmachine wasnt magick though. That was Regan(pbuh)
>>36000479
WHATEVER IT TAKES
>>36014720
>>36014748
>>36015328
Back to re.d.dit with you.
>>36014759
The guy in the picture is a Liberian senator from the 1860's by the name of John Hanson from the as well, although he had nothing to do with the supposed third president of the US.
This is the John Hanson that lead revolutionary america.
>crossfit, not even once
>>36016864
kek
well he left humanity behind, didn't he
>>36002880
>implying logs are less phallic than loaded barbells
Literally can't make this shit up
>>36016911
lsn't it odd that so many peopIe in history go unnoticed just because they weren't head of the country?
>Why do foreigners know more than US citizens?
>>36015373
Y'all realize that Jesus lived and was prosecuted under the Roman Empire, right? Government records of his existence, activities, and trial literally exist?
>>36018454
What were his activities?
>>36011549
There's an 8/christian/
It's not supposed to be a feat of strength you autists. It's like being forced to dig your own grave before an execution; it's part of the torture.
>>36019442
it's a cruel thing, making a man tie his own noose
>>36018454
Show me.
>>36018454
They actually don't. You really shouldn't guess at what might exist. There is actually zero records of Jesus from non religious sources. Jesus just happens to be the most believable bible character so people choose to believe it was based on true events. It's far more likely he's actually based on a collective of prisoners witnessed by the author.
>>36019639
>There is actually zero records of Jesus from non religious sources.
>Being this pleb.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tacitus_on_Christ
Or are you going to tell me that Tacitus' Annals of Imperial Rome is a religious text?
There's also Josephus too, and I believe some stuff in Cassius Dio. There also would have been administrative and epigraphic records since the Romans were quite exceptional in terms of documenting their administration.
I'm not a Christian, but I believe Jesus existed and indeed had super powers.
I've witnessed 2 paranormal incidents in my life so far, and it does tend to open up your mind a little bit a about other stuff that seemed impossible and illogical a few years ago
The main reason why I believe in Jesus' acts is that he's still loved and prayed by hundreds of millions of people today. Has thousands of churches built just for him.
2016 years after his death.
I mean common man, the nigga MUST have done something.
That he was just some random weirdo autist spouting non-sense about a God, doesn't make any sense at all. This isn't like the Mormons or Scientologists, which are bullshit religions created by a dude to make some money, christanism is MASSIVE.
Jesus was legit and a total bro
>>36019931
>I've witnessed 2 paranormal incidents in my life so far
no you haven't
>>36019864
>Christ wasn't actually mentioned by name in your source
> there would have been records
Then where are they?
>>36019946
I was once like you friend.
Science had to explain everything or else I wouldn't believe. You'll see the truth once your current body "dies"
>>36019931
People are retards that will believe literally anything and you are literally just one of the faceless normies praying to fucking nothing because you're too fucking stupid to grasp scientific facts.
>>36001979
why did the muslims try to take constantinople again if it was so repulsive??
>>36020015
what part of "I'm not Christian" did you miss, dipshit
>>36019931
what paranormal activities? tell us about them
>>36020060
I am not Michael.
>>36020060
You don't have to be Christian to be stupid. People of all faiths and those with none can also be stupid.
>>36000454
>Literally died
>that thing that literally everyone does
>impressive
>>36020201
What is it, the middle east has a 30-70% rate of inbreeding?
People calling christians stupid are too cute.
>>36000454
He was beaten, flogged, and the. Scourged with a cat o' 9 tails. Up for days without food or water as well. Then after carrying the cross uphill while a mob spat at him and threw stones his legs were broken with a sledge hammer, he was nailed to the cross and began the long process of suffocating to death (that's how crucifixition works, the legs are broken so the body can't support its own weight and you die extremely slowly.When the Romans came to give him drugs to dull the pain he rejected them..
>>36022311
as stated above, any muhrine could to that under worse conditions
>>36000454
his focus was magic not strength
that's why he left carpentry to con people with tricks
>>36000454
You can't be bulky and walk on water
>>36020664
Well at least we know that you are an idiot
>>36022753
I'd ask how so, but I assume the answer would be completely ignorant.
>>36019931
What were the incidents?
>>36000528
Can you pls start tripping? PIs, I can't fucking read your posts
>>36007784
I enjoy Carlosposting
>>36015378
>tfw your savior is a manlet
>tfw you get made fun of in heaven for being a lanklet
>>36024154
He was taII for the time.
>>36024124
lt has IiteraIIy never been funny on this board.
The peopIe doing it couId at Ieast be creative but it's been shit so far.
>>36000454
>>36014759
>>36015215
If I didnt know any better, I'd say we're on /his/
