This board seems the closest to Health. so i figured I'd seek help here. Preferably I'd like Milfags to jump in here but anyone would be appreciated.
I don't know what my fucking malfunction is. I think its a combination of Stress and Depression. But think I have a legit eating disorder. I've been noticing myself losing weight over the past few months. I've never been a big guy. I've always been slim. But now i'm REALLY slim. i'm 5ft 10inch, 139lbs. So far only my collar bone is showing, rib cage isn't visible yet (Note- I am not to the level of unhealthy,but this is taking a mental toll on me). But i feel so embarrassed and humiliate every time I look into the mirror. Just a few years ago, when I used to be in the military, i was in so much better shape. I had outstanding cardio, I could do pushups and pull ups for days and I could ruck pretty well for a small guy. But now, i look at myself and the mirror and see this scrawny piece of shit. At work I've had people say to me "damn dude, you need to hit the gym and start lifting!". I wish it was that simple. I'm in this vicious cycle that I can't break right now. I'm depressed all of the time, and always stressed out, and it just kills my appetite. I never feel hungry. I usually only get down 1 big meal a day. I typically feel sick to my stomach within 1-2 hours of waking up, so i can't consume anything then. and it just sets me up for a messed up day. So i can't start working out until i got my intake under solid control. I WANT to gain weight badly, but this depression is fucking me over. I can't get a grip on it. I look in the mirror, see a skinny fuck, get depressed and can't eat. Last year, I went into a rigorous workout plan hoping that if i worked out hard my appetite would come back. But the only thing that happened is I lost weight. I know this is bigger than just eating more food and working out. I understand that part, but I am having a hell of a time being able to get to that step.
to be continued-
Has anyone else delt with this? Its really fucking me up in the head lately. I feel so worthless. When i was in the military, i was so much more confident between my profession and how I was just overall mentally and physically fit. But now it's like a complete reversal. I really want to go see a Therapist, but I can't because of reasons.
I'm hoping some of you have been through this and can give me some advice how to change my mentality. I want to get over this depression and be able to actually improve my physical health. but I just cant shake it.
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seriously SSRIs exist for a reason and depression is as much a clinical manifestation than anything else. See your family physician and tell him you're depressed and anorexic and wanted to consult a therapist or get a prescription.
>>35288604
>I really want to go see a Therapist, but I can't because of reasons.
Elaborate.
>>35289513
>anorexic
i'm not anorexic. I'm not trying to lose weight, and i'm not starving myself.
But i do want to see a therapist. But i can't because i need clear medical records for potential jobs. A few of the jobs i've applied for, and soon to apply for will pull my Medical Records, and if they see anything with "depression" in it, i know they won't hire me because "liability". Even though i work hard, and work is my #1 priority, I don't take my problems to work.
>>35289551
Is it possible to remove stress reasons from your life? You need a time out son.
>>35288578
Honestly dude you need a therapist. I feel your pain. I was in amazing shape in the marines, got out and alcoholism + depression took its toll on my body.
Father recommended therapy. I felt like crap at first because I was always "therapy is for pussies" camp, but after several meetings with the therapist and letting out all the bullshit I had kept inside for years, I felt better. Not the same as I felt in the marines, but better.
The guy helped me sort out why I hated myself, and I am slowly getting better.
Fast forward to today and I am back in the shape I was then, drinking far less, stopped smoking dope, and overall I feel mentally better. Honestly dude I was gonna be a statistic vet suicide before I got help.
And bro, a therapist cannot legally tell ANYONE about what you discuss with them. It will not stop you from getting work.
If you ever need to talk just leave your email here man
>>35289645
>If you ever need to talk just leave your email here man
Sneaky one m8
>>35289595
I am going on a vacation to for 13 days starting on Monday. It's the first time I've done anything like this, so I really hope this helps me.
I'm not a emotional person, so when I get worked up I don't show it. It just fucks me up inside. After I came back from Afghanistan. And even after losing my best friend. I honestly didn't even cry. But after I got back to the states, I got really sick. For months. I got sent to the hospital twice for severe gastrointestinal pain. But the doctors never found anything physically wrong with me. I never brought up my depression. Because I didn't want to see a shrink. Fast forward to now. And I think that along with all of the stress that I've gained from being a civilian again is taking its toll.
>>35289645
I really appreciate it man. It's good to hear that it's not just me. I'm glad to hear things for you have improved. Here's my email
[email protected]
>>35289688
*to Italy
>>35289645
>And bro, a therapist cannot legally tell ANYONE about what you discuss with them. It will not stop you from getting work.
But they can. I'm applying for Federal law enforcement. And almost every application mentions a mental evaluation. I've even asked FED LEOs and they said that they will look at my records. Same as when we went into the military.
>>35288578
Sounds like you're anemic.
>>35289749
A job-related psych eval is very different from seeing a regular therapist. And doctor-patient confidentiality is taken very seriously. Even in the military.
>>35289865
they are different? What is the difference?
>>35289865
This is why i asked this>>35289885
