ITT: Times you were alpha stories
>go to work toilet
>there's at least 15 urinals in there spaced along the wall WITH view guards in place
>i go to far left one and start doing my wee
>boss walks in
>walks past all the urinals and into the cubical
>closes the door
>starts doing a wee also
How am i supposed to respect him as my leader now when he couldn't even piss on the same wall as me
>>35234670
whoa bro ur pretty alpha
>>35234670
only true alphas use the word wee.
picking the far left and not the middle
>beta confirmed.
>>35234670
that's pretty badass m8
This happened to me
>Go to toilet at work
>3 urinals along wall, no view guards
>go to far right cubicle
>boss walks in
>uses middle cubicle
>starts talking to me
Why.
>>35234702
It was closest to the door and had a chewing gum in it which i like to try and blast down the hole with my power wee
>>35234713
bleh, I mean urinals not cubicles.
>go to work toilet
>there's at least 15 urinals in there spaced along the wall WITH view guards in place
>the weird fuck who works for me stands at the one on the far left
>been trying to figure out an excuse for letting him go for a long time
>heard he stands behind people and watch them while they piss in urinals
>head to a stall instead
>can clearly hear him snicker and chant "alpha" and "made it" in a low voice
>hear him leave
>he didn't even wash his hands
>>35234763
Kek
>>35234763
My sides
>walk into the bathroom
>try to take the urinal next to my boss
>get beaten up by the uniformed view guards
>>35234670
Im personally really pee shy, and when ever I use the bathroom at work I use a stall to get paid for sitting down on my phone for 15minutes
>tfw at festivals always use the portaloos to wee in even though there are empty urinals everywhere
Sometimes I would have to wait like 10 mins to get in the portaloo too
Hate having a small willy desu
>>35234670
>Go to movies with my friends
>Drink a moderate-size drink
>Wait for the whole movie to finish, really, really need to piss afterwards
>We all go to bathroom to chuck a whizz, I go to a stall, 2 others go to a stall, one goes to a urinal, and a few random moviegoers go to urinate too.
>I'm the first to start pissing - square into the middle of the water, the noise rising in cataphony as my pelvic floor muscles increase the pressure, the others soon join in, like a symphony of pee, slight modulations in pitch and tone over the different surfaces making beautiful music for the other people in the bathrooms ears
>Some others accept my challenge, each attempting to maximise the noise of their stream hitting the water or metal urinal plate
>The competition is tough, the streams staying strong at the 30 second mark
>Some of the others are falling behind, the noise of the streams fade into drips, then nothingness
>I'm still going strong, in fact, I could afford to speed this up, I press harder, the noise thunderous
>2 & 1/2 - 3 minutes pass
>My competition is all but finished, multiple people have come in, pissed, flushed the toilet, washed and dried their hands and gone while I peed the entire time, my friends have all packed up and are waiting for me near the front of the toilet
>One person at the urinal has accepted my challenge, though very late to the competition
>I'm wondering if I should stick it out even longer, and ease up on the pressure
>Nope, the guy gives up
>I've been peeing with all my might for what feels like an eternity, I'm bored
>I wonder if people think the toilet is broken, the noise is so constant, my pelvic floor muscles actually are starting to ache
>I finally finish up, thank god
>I meet up with my friends, and they don't really know what to say, later one mentions I'm part horse
There's something magic about movie theatres. I do enormous pisses every time, but this was something special, like 1.5L+ special.
>>35234670
Top kek you faggot, the real alphas use the cubical not because they're too beta for the urinal but because their stream is too powerful for the urinal, they dont want to spray themselves with piss from the splashes, only low current faggots use the urinals.
>closed the door
that is the indicator that separates the alpahs from the betas when using the cubical, so i guess he is a faggot, but so are you.
>shitty party
>most everyone is ripped out of their mind
>guy starts ham fisting another guy
>everyone freaks out
>restrain ham fist until he calms down with a rear naked choke
My girlfriend (now wife) and her friends started calling me chuck norris.
>>35235615
Lol literal pissing contest.
>>35235801
>ham fisting
what? fisting?
>>35237249
I assumed it involved putting fist in guys butt, but who does that at a party in front of everyone
