/fit/ humor thread
If I wanted
>>35216456
>saved
want humoUr?
people actually think he's small
>>35216465
humor, I'd ask
>>35216499
I'm listening
>>35216456
>ctrl+'homo'
>1 million results
>>35216485
>people actually think he's strong
Worst of the squat industry
If I wanted humor I would ask you what your total was.
>>35216499
My dad to come back from his grave
If I wanted your one rep maximum I would let my muscles atrophy until they reached the same level of your humor.
>>35216465
>>35216499
you what your
>>35216587
one
>>35216601
rep
>>35216608
maxes
>>35216521
>hurr if you don't do le meme squat, you aren't stronk
fuck you.
and fuck mark rippetoe.
that fat fuck has never witnessed strength in his life... he thinks just because he doesn't lift for abs that he is doing it right...
>>35216614
are
>>35216634
GAAAAAAAAAAY
>>35216619
this>>35216485
was me, but dont be dumb man
If you wanted humour you should have asked me my 1RM
>>35216647
>reverse memeing
>>35216634
Top kek
>>35216514
I guess it would be -137 °C right?
>>35217251
that would be freezing point
>>35218588
0 °C is freezing point.
>>35216619
Ok,
> Worst in the bench industry
Faggot
>>35218553
th -that's just a really big door. he's in, uh, russia.
>>35216514
That second question is actually really good
>>35219065
no its not.
0°C is 273K
half of 273K is 136.5K or if you like -137.5°C
Easy peasy
>>35216634
If I wanted humour I would ask you what your RM maxes were
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IlHE5JnV3Ys
max if rep humor I ask would one wanted your
>be 255lb strongman competitor
>girl invites me to "lift" with her and we go to planet fitness
>find some 80lb dumbbells, the biggest they got
>may as well make some bullshit stabilizer core gains while making chest gains, so I get the biggest yoga ball that's sitting in the fucking way
>be 255lbs with two 80s on a big yoga ball doing presses
>yoga ball explodes and sounds like a bomb
>old woman fucking off in the smith machine nearby starts crying
>lunk alarm goes off
>mfw I'm asked to leave the gym
>girl never talks to me again
>>35220757
Lol.
Sorry the girl never talked to you again, but she sounds like a bitch if something that silly made her go away.
>be me, current year 20 something
>wake up first thing in the morning when the sun comes up, 4am, to the sight of two blond bimbo bitches sucking my cock
>cum on their faces so they leave me the fuck alone. gotta lift brah
>slide down the pole and land int he ferrari lamborghini, 2016 model brand new
>rev that jew up to about 2 hundo and haul ass to the gym. it's a 30 minute ride so I get there in 5 minutes
>it's now bright and early 5am the sun aint even up yet
>walk in the bitch and cardio bunnies are already mirin
>a dude is getting a spot on a 1pl bench
>protein fart in his fucking mouth and take the bench. 3 pl for 55 reps. didnt want to count any higher
>high test chick comes around, "you a personal trainer?" you're so buff"
>yeah baby what kind of gains you want to make?
>she says all kinds. I catch her drift
>I teach her how to do some ass exercises then grab a big handfull of them cheeks
>the other bros in the gym got my back
>she asks if we can take this to a private session
>follow me to the sauna, bros mirin
>she starts sucking on my cock like a hooker on a schedule
>30 minutes later she asks how long this will take
>"just keep going I'm about to nut"
>40 minutes later I cum in her hair and throw her clothes out of the sauna as I walk out
>she yells at me and calls me an asshole and douchebag like it's the only words she knows how to say
>go home and drink a protein shake
>>35220806
I can tell that you're lying.
You know how I can tell?
Because you said you woke up "when the sun comes up, 4am", and then a few lines later you say "it's now bring and early 5am the sun aint even up yet". How can the sun come up at 4am and then not even be up yet at 5am?
If it wasn't for that one little mistake, though, I totally would have believed this.
If I wanted humour I would have asked for your 1 rep maxes
>>35220835
fuck
>>35220835
this has gotta be bait for the copypasta
>>35216514
To address the second question, since some anons seem to be curious about it:
Temperature is interval-scaled, rather than ratio-scaled; so "twice as cold" or "twice as hot" simply aren't defined.
This is my understanding at least.
Any physics or chemistry anons want to correct/add to this?
>>35220661
IT DIDNT SAY ZERO CELSIUS YOU FAGGOT
>>35220866
u srs bro?
maybe u tell me ur 1 rep max
>>35220757
>>yoga ball explodes and sounds like a bomb
you fucked up by not screaming allahu akbar
>>35221030
if fathenheit then convert to kelvin
if celsius then convert to kelvin
if kelvin then everyone is dead and the universe reached it's final state where no energy whatsoever is left
you sir are a massive faggot
>>35222207
fahrenheit goddamnit
>>35218553
holy kek, autism, when you least expect it
there is really no safe place from autists anywhere on this site
>>35222207
Unless it was 0.4 Kelvin and they decided to round resulting in a temperature that heat death wouldn't of had to of taken place. Ye massiver faggot.
>>35216634
Hahahahahahahahah top kek
>>35222848
Yeah because if it's 0.4 K outside everything is perfectly fine and it's totally a plausible temperature.
>>35222923
>Niggah has 5 eyeballs on his forehead
>Complains 0.4k still isn't plausible
How is tying your shoes going mate? Making progress? You'll get it soon I promise!
Just post that feel guy sitting on his bed in his room. I NEED THAT!
>>35216634
Postin in an epic kek
>>35220971
>>35216514
>>35217251
>>35218588
>>35218724
>>35219065
>>35220661
The way we measure temperature is an arbitrary unit of measurement. 0 degrees Celsius is freezing point, BUT there's is no other reason for this value to be 0 other than the point at which liquid water freezes. If you were to switch to SI units and use Kelvin then the question makes more sense as 0 degrees Kelvin is absolute zero. Nothing can be colder than absolute zero, we haven't even observed anything in the universe at that temperature. Also using this scale, 0 degrees Celsius actually becomes 273 degrees Kelvin, so twice as cold I suppose would be half the value, making ~137 degrees Kelvin (assuming you're only applying these two unit systems, Fahrenheit would be different again).
>>35220806
Give me back the time I wasted reading that.
>>35223080
>>35220971
Yeah. "twice as cold" is basically nonsense.
A reasonable guess, the one I'd make if somebody actually said "twice as cold" near me, might be "twice as far from some default temperature". 20°C is probably the most common default scientific temperature, so if it's in Celsius, that'd be -20°C. If it's Farenheit, I think it'd be around -67°F.
>>35216499
Metameme
>>35223080
My opinion is that what you're saying is actually "half the temperature", not what a person would feel as twice as cold
The way I interpret it is that at around 27 degrees celsius you feel no cold, and the difference between 27 degrees and the current temperature has something to do with how cold you are
Though, apparently intensity of the feeling is correlated logarithmically with the amount of stimuli
My guess then would be that twice as cold as 0 degrees (celsius), at -27 of a difference, would be somewhere around -40 to compensate for logarithmic plateau
Haven't done any calculations, just a guess
Is anyone else getting connection error or 4chan x error when trying to post? And I need to try like 100 times till my post goes through
>powerlifting
Probably /fit/ related you sick fucks.
>>35223967
what's the story behind this ? Weird af
>>35223985
kek
>>35223985
Is it like staged?
Why do they need padding with that low weight?
>>35224032
People at my gym always use a pad for any weight. They don't know how to brace back so it hurts as the bar sits on bones.
>>35224032
cause it hurts ;_;
>>35223989
Russia
>>35223985
His a big guy
>>35224080
For you
>>35224089
Was squatting with the bar on your neck part of your plan?
>>35224049
yeah but wouldnt lifting trough the pain kinda harden them?
Muay thai fighters kick hard objects all day long so their legs wont break.
>>35223985
Is that nigga doing calf raises
>Be 250 lbs powerlifter masterrace
>Visit my old curbro-tier gym
>Time to show who's boss
>Wear tanktop to show off massive arms
>So swole I can almost see the diffrence between flexed and unflexed under my healthy bodyfat
>Go straight for the bench, warmup with lmao1plaet
>Sweat already making two dark moons on my chest
>They mirin
>Load up lmao2plaet
>Rep it for 5
>Sit up and wink to the cardiobunny next to me
>She looks away, beta as fuck
>"Sup, mirin my bench?" I ask her
>She says "Atleast I can bench my bodyweight"
>Bodyweight
>That word is one of my triggers
>Suddenly feel faint
>"Whats the matter, bodyfat reached your brain?"
>Bodyfat is another of my triggers
>Mumble back that bodyfat doesnt matter and abs are for fags
>Feeling sick, had to waddle out of there
>Even forget my milkjug
>Drive home while sobbing
>Didnt even drive by burger king for my Post workout whoppers
>Forgot to smear the steeringwheel with vaseline
>It scratches my nipple when I turn left
>Drive straight home and run up to my room
>Search for "PLG" on 4chan
>Need to E-stat my new 5RM
>0 results
>Cry in bed
>Mom yells that I have to cook my own dinner
>No rest for the wicked
>>35223985
If i take off that gym mat will you die?
>>35224108
It would be extremely painful
>>35223985
>People needing pads for lmao0.5plaet smith machine squats
One would think that since they got a gym membership they should atleast try not to be pussies
>>35224119
youre a dyel
>>35224093
No one cared who I was until I put on the bar.
>>35224129
For you
>>35224134
So what's the next step in your plan?
>>35224124
a lot of people think that you need to to not hurt yourself. I've had people come up to me and tell me that I should use it.
>>35224153
Trashing my spine
>>35224197
With no survivors
>>35223985
I know these chads!
>Come to gym
>Bench for two hours
>Curl in squat rack for two hours
>Do a single squat with 0.000000000001 pl8
>Become a triangle
Fuck these chads. Let them observe my superior, well rounded, gains!
>>35223080
>degrees Kelvin
>>35224257
tired of those tards ruining humor threads with the "if i wanted humor"
You are not funny anymore
>>35224265
>>35224265
anymore? like it was funny once
>>35224281
Maybe it was funny the first time, although it was samefag
Anyway, dumping what I got
Brace yourselves for keks
>>35224285
>>35224285
Too true
>>35224104
9/10
>>35224053
literally squatting in high heels
>>35224318
>>35224307
>>35224265
These are posted in every thread, fuck off
>>35224328
Maximum Kekeroonie brownies
>>35224063
>beta, sign up
>>35222209
No you spelled it right the first time, and that's coming from an American. I hate not using metric, it's so easy :(
>>35224265
A N N I H I L A T I O N
>>35224265
Absolute disregard of human life
>>35218553
Holy Keke I wish I was in that thread
>when will they learn
>>35220806
When /b/ Mets /fit/
>>35224104
Lel
>>35224475
>Using a fist to hit head/face
Do you want to break your 27 bones?
>>35224415
source?
>>35224548
Men who dont have fragile pussy hands are able to punch without crying about it.
Krav magoo/kung fu shill pls go
>>35224265
Holy shit what an animal
>>35222207
Just convert Fahrenheit to rankine . Then the answer is - 233
>>35224912
>It sucks that youre grounded and cant go out with your girlfriend
>>35220757
i want to belive this
>>35224296
>Bro science
>>35224342
>>35224342
quality kek thanks bro
>>35224265
Holy shit that's savage as fuck.
>>35224104
>>35226152
>>35226172
>>35226183
these are great, keep posting
>>35224265
It'll fade away like cousin and my gf died in a car accident
>>35223952
Post more
>>35216456
>Scroll down catalog
>See this
>>35224368
>>35216634
>>35216634
>>35223989
Google this: Кaтя Caмбyкa
So much kek, thx anons i needed this, we're all gonna fucking make it
>>35224265
kek
What a savage i love it
>>35224104
>>35223894
>>35224349
>>35224066
this art looks like a C&H ripoff
>>35220806
>Not finishing your workout because of a bitch
Can't make it
>>35222975
>>35223985
FOR THREE YEARS THIS STUPID PIECE OF SHIT MEME HAS BEEN POSTED 24/7, ONLY THIS BOARD CAN BE THIS AUTISTIC. I HOPE THE FUCKING MODS PERMABAN ALL OF YOU FAGGOTS, GO MAKE YOUR OWN STUPID BOARD AND CALL IT 'LE EPIC BANE CHAN'. IT'S PROBABLY THE MOST RETARDED THING IVE EVER SEEN ON THE INTERNET, I ACTUALLY FEEL SAD FOR YOU PEOPLE THAT ARE SO AUTISTIC THAT YOU POST THIS THINKING THAT YOU'RE FUNNY, 'LOLOLOLO LOOOK AT ME IM LE CIA XDDDD SO EPIC EPIC FOR THE WIN EPIC MAYMAY' /TV/ IS A FUCKING SHITHOLE IM SICK OF YOU FUCKING FAGGOTS POSTING THIS STUPID ASS MEME 24/7 FUCK OFF U FUCKING FAGGOTS STOP POSTING THAT STUPID CIA AGENT AND THE OTHER ASS BANE, 3 YEARS, 3 FUCKING YEARS POSTING THE SAME SHIT, NOT EVERY WEEK BUT EVERY HOUR, EVERY HOUR THERE'S A BANE THREAD, ON EVERY BOARD OF 4CHAN, U FUCKING AUTISTS, IVE NEVER SUCH SUCH HIGH LEVELS OF AUTISM, THIS BOARD IS MORE AUTISTIC THAN ALL THE OTHER BOARDS COMBINED, THE DARK KNIGHT SUCKS DICK AND SO DOES YOUR WORTHLESS LITTLE BOARD, I BET YOUR DICKLETS START TINGLING WHEN YOU POST SOMETHING ABOUT BANE, ISN'T THAT RIGHT FAGGOTS? I BET THAT YOU GET SOME SEXUAL STIMULATION FROM UPLOADING A PICTURE OF BANE TO YOUR BOARD HUH? I BET THAT YOU MASTURBATE TO THE THOUGHT OF GETTING FUCKED BY THE ACTORS OF THE DARK KNIGHT RISES. IT'S PROBABLY TRUE, YOU'RE ALL FAGGOTS AND WANT BANE'S DICK. OH LOOK ITS TIME TO REPOST UR STUPID CIA THREAD, GO AHEAD AND CLICK THE BUTTON WITH YOUR GREASY NECKBEARD FINGERS. I BET YOU WEAR FEDORAS AND TRENCHCOATS TOO. STUPID ASS FAGGOTS, THIS FORCED MEME IS NOTHING MORE THAN SHIT, TRYHARD FEDORA NECKBEARDS ATTEMPT AT BEING ORIGINAL. YOUR "OC" IS PATHETIC, JUST SOME SHITTY PAINT EDITS OF THE SAME PIC OVER AND OVER. WHAT A BUNCH OF TALENTLESS FAGGOTS, GO CHEW ON YOUR MOUNTAIN DEW AND YOUR DORITOS. IM DONE ARGUING WITH YOU FAGGOTS, GO CHECK YOUR STUPID DUBS AND RE-WATCH TDKR FOR THE 50TH TIME WHILE YOU MANCHILDREN KEEP REPOSTING THIS UNFUNNY CRAP EVERY SINGLE HOUR
FUCK OFF FUCKING FAGGOTS!!
"been bulking since 96"
>>35224104
>Forgot to smear the steeringwheel with vaseline
>>It scratches my nipple when I turn left
>>35227159
you'll have to come up with something more creative if you want it to become pasta, anon.
>>35224954
holy fuck my sides
10/10
>>35224342
>>35216456
>>35216465
>>35216499
>>35216587
>>35216601
>>35216608
>>35216614
>>35216634
>>35224991
>punching
It's like you want to die early. Everyone knows that grappling and Brazilian Jiu Jitsu is the most effective way to deal with someone.
What a moron.
>>35224368
jesus he got raped at knifepoint
>>35224415
I'm a black goddess and want to know the source of this webm.
This one is pretty good
Q: Why are you so big anon?
>>35229117
A: I eat a lot of pussy
>>35229097
fuckin kek evyrtime. I need more of those.
>>35228380
What is that awful layout
>>>/reddit/
>>35224276
>moonbeefs
kek
>>35224318
i fucking hate australia
it's confirmed that the vast majority of shitposters from from australia, too. why is that? is there something in the water?
>>35229583
They're the most irrelevant first world country since Zyzz and the crocodile dude RIP'd
Literally 0 threads on /int/ and /pol/ are dedicated to them, they must feel left out.
>>35223952
Looks like an obese/bald Chuck from the misfits
>>35229097
>calfstabber
top kek
>>35224265
SAVAGE
>>35229622
Australia is basically the USA without any smart people.
>>35224265
absloute madman
>>35224134
What the fuck is that thing. I saw this dyel as fuck faggot wearing one.
>>35224548
>being this much of a retarded pussy
>>35228626
>grappling and Brazilian Jiu Jitsu is the most effective way to deal with someone
when there are some basic rules. like no genital or throat strikes. or biting. or eye gouging.
self defense grappling has the potential to become a huge shitfest with pretty much unpredictable outcome. also you are then fixed and you cant run away when the guy calls his 27 buddies.
>>35227159
Let me guess, you are the "batman" in the picture?
>>35229046
>live turd
EVERY FUCKING TIME
>>35228380
straight outta reddit
>>35216619
Fuck off richard
>>35224551
girls.
>>35223935
HAHAHAHAAH
>>35229583
everyone hates fat americans too, you cunt. bet you never even met one of us
>>35216634
YEEEEEEEAH
>>35224581
I remember the good old days... I miss scoobs.
>>35224940
hahahahahhahaha
>>35230078
>>35229622
>>35229583
confirmed for jealous fat cunt americans. enjoy your niggers and lgbt groups u fgts aus is the last manly white country left
Surprised no ones posted the little yellow faggot with the retarded curly finger. Truuuuuuu
>>35223952
>powerlifting
>>35229207
snibbedy snab
>>35224954
188L is more than 4pl8.
No one with a bench that shit is that strong.
>>35224104
well memed
>>35233864
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joke
>>35229431
>>35232838
Hello newbies
>>35216619
But why would you not squat? Stop associating squats with being fat, diet makes you fat. Not squatting, so whats your problem narrow shoulder 150 pound 5'9 curlfaggot?
>>35224104
In "powerlifting", does the bar have to actually sink into your flab for the lift to count or is it enough to touch it with your fat?
>>35229097
it worries me how much my face resembles auschwitz
>>35216619
Well strength is realative, but people who who squat would gereally be able to carry their strength over to real world situations more than someone who doesn't. That sentance was horrible but you know what I mean.
>>35224318
Only on gear could you build up your upper body that much and your legs still look like you deserve to be an extra in the skeleton warrior scene of Jason and the argonauts.
> aesthetics tho bro
>be 150 pound 5'8 otterbro
>visit powerlifting gym to show who's boss
>start legpressing 150kg
>powerlifter gives me a weird look
>"Whats your squat twinklet?"
>Squat.... One of my triggers, THE MEME exercise ever...
>but ill show him, i can legpress 150kg so i should sure as hell manage to squat 100kg or something
>tell powerlifter 100kg
>he loads the bar and i get ready to squat
>Get under the bar and unrack it
>tfw the bar hurts my back, tfw the knurling digs into my skin
>it hurts
>i rerack it and say "I dont need to prove anything, its a meme exercise anyways. I lift for aesthetics ;)"
>he laughs at me but i know im in the clear, because grills like my abs that are visible if i sneeze and bend over at the same time.
Like.. Who needs to be able to squat 100kg anyways?
>>35229207
Kek
>>35237987
I get what you are trying to do but your butthurt just seeps through. Atleast throw a joke or two in there.
>>35226183
oh god i'm dying
>month 13 of my bulk
>pushing 325 on the scale
>Lifts getting into the triple digits
>get so caught up mirin my 'thetics I almost don't hear the yumyum bell
>smell of delish toasted ham n cheese sammies hit my nostrils and rush to the kitchen
>mummy has my sammies laid out cut perfectly on my modified Sonic and Friends plate(I made mummy scratch all the male characters eyes since I don't like competition)
>as I gaze at my toasted sammies I realize something is gravely wrong
>there is one half of a meaty cheesy toasty roasty sammy missing
>I begin making gutteral noises and hand flappies
>mum tries to tell me that I'm a big boy and big boys only need 9 and a half sammies
>I tell her to try to only take 9 and half cocks before breakfast and call her a whore
>threaten to shit myself if she refuse to make me an additional 3 sammies as an apology
>the stupid slut does it
>eat my kings ransom of sammies and head back to the man cave
>I can hear mummy calling old-dad and crying
>>35224104
That sucked and I'm pretty sure you samefagged all of the replies.
It's not because you're making fun of powerlifting, that story was just really really shitty
>>35238917
Not a single one actually. Please do tell what was wrong with it, english isnt my first language
>>35237987
>tfw i squat roughly 125kg for 10-12 reps
>>35216634
OP got absolutely BTFO
>>35224488
Four years later
>>35224940
i fucking love this pic
>YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEAH BUDDYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
>>35224940
>>35216634
OH SNAP
>>35224265
Preposterous desu
