>nearly 2016
>still "lifting weights"
Whats your excuse for not being an integrated movement practitioner?
This is not CrossFit. This is functional patterns. Get with the times grandpa
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-MIweO9f23A
cancer
>>35196857
what is he, 4'5?
>>35196879
that's called intelligent business
fuck I hate this guy so much . how can you be such an obsessive fitness trainer and still look like a fucking fatbody. dude looks like shit. I want to fight him. I want to straight up fight this guy in a MMA match
>>35196893
Does that really matter? Look at the way he moves, the persona, the tats. I imagine hes smashing his cardio bunny clients on a weekly basis. Meanwhile here you are shitposting le manlet memes. Hes starting a revolution and its here to stay
>>35196857
I cringed intensely, thanks
>>35196857
So basically doing actual movements with weights. Sounds really shitty for the joints and for your technique.
I'm amazed how people love these stupid training, crossfit, p90x, circuit training and now this shit.
I will invent something for this autists, some combination of parkour and mma with some plyometrics and call it circuit warrior or autist warrior for short
>>35196982
not him but i personally prefer shitposting than banging sloots. its the /fit/ way
>>35197015
Because 90% of t he population has no clue on the level of information we have for fitness and nutrition. So, they buy into these ponzi scheme workouts.
>>35196953
>I want to straight up fight this guy in a MMA match
He would fucking kill you bro. He's trained for 10 years in jiu jitsu and was a golden gloves champ as a youngster. Faggot pussy.
>>35197069
So have i
>>35196857
now thats a meme if i ever seen one
>>35196857
A few of these actually seem like ok exercises.
The majority of them look like a great way to either hurt yourself or waste time & make a fool of yourself.
Pic related is one of the ones that almost seems like a decent exercise.
>>35196857
>skipping and flailing around like a retarded fairy
>with weights
Seems like it would actually work better than what most of /fit/ does - just fucking sitting there at a computer screen, shitposting, and not actually lifting anything.
>>35197015
Circuit warriors. I'm trademarking that shit.
>>35197112
Literally just a floor plank
>>35196857
>when's the last time you cried?
>when's the last time you weren't racist?
>>35196857
lol... fuck that guy
>>35197237
It truly is pure autism
>>35197015
autist warrior kek
>>35196857
he looks shit - like he plays netball once a week or something. fuck sake.
>>35196857
Fucking manlets, WWTL?
Also, this is some retarded ass shit.
>>35197015
This is not crossfit. We are at war: CIRCUIT WARRIORS
>>35197518
>"kravmaga.webm"
>>35196857
As my grandma is aging I realize her training needs to become more functional, if I fly her out to your gym do you think you could teach her the 1 ... 2 ... spinning backfist combo?
>>35197518
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hzh9koy7b1E
>>35197518
Kek
>>35197142
>>35197518
too late guys, as you can clearly see I trademarked Circuit Warriors ™
>>35199184
InsaNEETy™
>>35196982
>being jelly of that disgusting dyel bald faggot
Anon plis why would I do that when I could be jealous of someone that does all the things you said + also looks good, that guy looks fucking hideous.
>>35196857
what happening in the pic.
Is he summoning a demon?
x, get in here
>>35199503
Gains is happening
Lifting weights improves recovery. It lets you endure more and train more often.
People who can train more and longer in a sport will just be better through experience. Focusing on weights just for the sport wont make a difference.
>>35197015
Reminds me of that video game like mirrors edge with hand to hand combat in first person where you raced other people to the top of a building and then fought each other.
>>35196857
Reminds me of that latmobile gif, and the other one where the dudes jumping around like Spider-Man on the cable machine.
Also, how does this dude expect to market this? The amount of space required for just one person to train in this style seems too much for most gyms.
>>35200606
>strength training for sports has no effect
Pls be b8
>>35197015
Brahs change the name to CIRCUS WARRIORS. That's what the fitness industry is - a fucking circus. The majority of the population would love it if your fitness club involved clowns wearing make up, riding elephants and trying to escape from a poorly trained lion.
>>35200770
Thats not what i said.
I said doing weighted karate chops wont make you better at swinging a bat. Just like benching 500 pounds wont either.
Its the technique you pick up from training that makes you a beast, and you can train more often and longer by hitting the gym and doing a nice normal balanced routine.
Your body learns to recover faster.
>>35200710
>>35196857
More complicated is not always better.
>>35196857
>implying that the world exterior to the gym has bosu balls and cable machines
this is just capitalizing on the fact that crossfit has been falling out of favour among the masses lately
the moment thing is just the new fad thatll like its predecessor be replaced and forgotten in the near future
>>35196857
The times have been around for tens of thousands of years. People of every era have achieved an impressive physique by moving heavy things around, it is how our body is literally designed to grow. I don't see a real way to improve on the basic compound movements most weightlifters use in the gym--literally all of which are just glorified versions of the pushing and pulling we'd be doing if we were all still hunter gatherers and shit.
Let me sum up this loser.
Midget with insecurities and loads of money decides to buy a shitload of stuff with his lame name on it, build himself a useless gym, and "invent" some workout program.
The exercises consist of mostly inefficient, obsolete, and sometimes dangerous methods of obtaining strength and/or physique. He then proceeds to spam his skill video(yes, I'm reducing that piece of shit to some moron recording his kills in counter-strike) as jerking material for himself, and as laughing material for the rest of us.
He will now proceed to defend himself to me disguised as a reular /fit/ visitor.
>He's nailing pussy every week you shithead!
>His stuff gets all the pussy and gains!
Go to bed you jocky.
>>35201166
Buttblasted ss-memer detected.
Anon why are you so mad? Are you compensating for something? We all cant have an 8x6 you know
>>35196982
>Does that really matter?
yep, he's a manlet, and so is the pussy boy i'm quoting LMAO.
>>35197948
underrated.
>>35197077
Chekm8 athiest
>>35201329
>>35197069
>>35196982
>>35196857
Holy shit this guy is pathetic.
Your original post made it painfully obvious it's you. We don't care about your funkshitanal patterns.
Go be a bouncing leprechaun somewhere else.
>>35196857
Not gonna lie, shit looks fun to do for some cardio
>>35201501
Ok to clarify. Yes im "shilling" on 4chan. But by looking through the thread I feel that my intent and your understanding on what functional patterns is all about has been misconstrued. I would agree that the specific movements in my original post video are a bit "extreme". And no I do NOT start my clients out on them. Functional patterns is more than training. It is about being in tune with how your body moves, and strengthening it through a very specific channel of motion that is specific to your needs and demands. I also work very specifically on posture and active release massage therapy for injuries. I will also frequently introduce powerlifting techniques and methodology to my clients (assuming they can demonstrate safety through form). Thats fine if my program does not suit your needs. I dont claim to be the end all be all of fitness, but I do believe I am heading into uncharted territory, and thus untapped potential.
For anyone interested, my site is: http://www.functionalpatterns.com
Thank you for your time. Continue to work on your goals whatever they may be!
>>35201625
Saved
>>35196857
Interesting way to do cardio I guess. If you're into that sort of faggot shit.
>>35201636
I don't think you're going to get a lot of traction here. Most people on this board are interested in either getting aesthetic or strong. I do appreciate the balance and mobility you display but the and mount of muscle mass you have especially with your small stature is unimpressive to most people on this board. You will not be taken seriously mostly because you are small in more then one aspect.
>>35201636
Damn it. Why do you have to go all humble now and make me feel bad?
Look. I don't have anything against your stuff. Just don't come on here and push it as the replacement of tried and true methods of fitness. Be humble like that and you'll go farther. I apologize for the short shit.
>>35201636
Is this pasta?
>>35196857
If it safe for children to already do such movements? Im uncertain if that doesnt stunt his growth, just imagine if he stays that small...
It looks fun as fuck. Some of those movements are guaranteed to get 'mires.
>>35197210
No, it's a shitty version of this.
https://youtu.be/uYdFQ1Zu5SY?t=1m46s
Like other anons said it looks a great way to strain yourself unless you use really light weights. I can see people trying this with weights that are too heavy and proper fucking themselves up
I stopped watching at this bit
I got protein shake coming out of my nose I'm laughing so much
Absolutely pathetic. Looks like something one of the dumbfuck soccer moms at my gym would do. If you want to look like someone train how they train. I dont want to look like a 4' tall out of shape faggot so goes without saying ill stick to barbells
>>35201636
Hahaa you sleazy fucking toad. Did you actually third person boast about having sex with your clients?
>>35201636
>skipping and dancing like a fairy
>functional
that's why NFL combines do this right? you seem like a massive new ager douche trying to meld weights with some fucked up sonic the hedge hog sperg tai chi. Also your song sucks. Naudi pls go u look like shit and this is like some 12 year olds karate VHS he made in his backyard.
>>35202066
he's totally checking that guys crotch out
>>35196857
this is not crossfit
this is worse
i dont know what your Goal is but mine is to have offspring and be able to protect my Family.
i want to be able to carry wife and child if necessary.
i want that my Family feels secure around me.
pretty Basic male stuff
gl witht that if you are some lanky spastic
>>35201636
You're a retarded manlet cunt and your workouts are as stupid as you are. You are not educating or helping anyone. You have made a fool of yourself. Never come back here.
>>35201329
This anime girl is cute af desu senpai
>>35196857
>>35201329
>>35197069
>>35196982
>>35201636
This is some advanced shitposting.
>>35197015
This kind of thing is honestly just a fad for people who find getting fit in the most effective and sensible way too boring.
>>35196857
>video
Literally what the fuck.
This looks like the kind of shit you see in those New Years at the Gym comics.
Except the sledgehammer slams, those are legit.
>>35201636
Nice change of tactics faggot.
Go fuck yourself.
>>35197518
anybody got that gif/webm about some ''technique'' and it's basically neckbeards running and waving their arms?
>>35201099
>people were pushing and pulling maximum weights they could handle in sets as hunter gatherers
you probably eat "paleo" too
>>35204157
No you're right I just
>drag a 900 pound buffalo 2 miles with one other guy and no breaks
OR
>drag a 900 pound buffalo two miles 100 yards at a time
Think hard retard.
>>35196857
Looks good desu
>>35204157
>he doesn't eat paleo
>>35196982
>>35196857
>>35201636
I am absolutely creasing, either shitposting has stepped up a level or this guy is the most pathetic excuse for a human being i have ever come across.
I am inclined to believe this guy >>35204011
This is clearly driven by the exact same "try to make a weight session train every single aspect of athleticism all at once" mentality that makes crossfit and every other flashy trendy fitness methodology so shitty.
Reality rewards focus, not desperate kitchen-sink horseshit. Strength, conditioning, and motor skills are all distinct traits with distinct physiological roots. A training session designed for all of these at once is a training session designed for none.
But it's harder to sell what works when it isn't super flashy and it's relatively simple to look up and figure out. And some people are deeply allergic to getting a real job...
so... it's called functional patterns, but i don't see any functional patterns. what real life movements do those mimic? the only useful training i saw in that video was the basic combat training. everything else is doesn't look like anything you'd use in day to day life.
>>35199871
/x/ here. Not enough sodium in his life to protect himself. 4/10 he gonna ded
>>35197129
It's my recovery day, bruh.
>>35196857
5/10 apply yuo'reself
Does this bro even lift?
>>35201636
Just came here to tell you to go fuck yourself, study "what is hypertrophy" rather than simply snapping your shit up.
Fucking cancer, get out of my fit.
>>35196857
I just fully understood what is meant by the saying the more things change the more they stay the same.
>>35201636
How did you tards actually take this bait?
Nobody even knows what 4chan is irl. This is just a false flag by some permabulking homo that needs to feel better about his SS bod by making fun of what normies do for fitness
>>35206165
I cant even tell whats b8 anymore. Feels bad desu
>>35206165
>nobody knows what 4chan is irl
I know about 4chan. Is my life not real? Am I fake?
Fuck man, you hit me right in the existential feels box.
>tfw not irl
