ITT: Spaghetti, autism, mirin, success, post any good /fit/ stories you have. I'll start
> Be me benching
> gym anon comes over
> ask's to work in
> say sure, ask him what weight he wants
> doesnt take his fucking head phones out
> gym anon stares at me like I just raped his dog
> proceeds to bench 1pl8 for two sets
> almost dies second set
> refuses to reduce weight, gives up and leaves after being there for 15 minutes
This fucking faggot pissed me off so much, his autism was unparalleled to anything I've encountered thus far
Be me squating lmao 1.5 plate see guy next me judging silently. When do I get out if dyel mode?
>>35096663
How much were you benching?
I had a weird interaction with an older woman that seemed like she'd be a cougar.
>warming up just got to gym
>said cougar is walking around near me
>she grabs a like 2lb straight bar and walks right next to me
>then she walks away to the entire opposite side of the gym and does some other weird shit
>start deadlfiting
>I watch her and she's just walking around with no real goal but does exercises from time to time
>comes back around after like 10 mins
>she's now like off to my right side a little in front of me within touching distance basically doing now good mornings with some squats thrown in with the straight bar 2lb
>she keeps steping backwards and is looking in my direction to watch herself in the mirror behind me
>I set up, do a rep and we catch eyes at the top of the lift while she's bending over doing a good morning
>starts doing this weird stretching in front of me
>she still looks like she doesn't know what to do
>leaves
She had a nice ass but her face makes her look very old
Not much of a story, but gave me a smirk
>in one of two squat racks
>both racks right next to the oly platform, which was currently set up for squats
>I load up 275 pounds and am doing my sets
>look to the right of me
>old guy who is using a low bar form with a high bar squat
>moved from 1 pl8 to 275 pounds
>look left to the oly platform
>guy using it also loaded up 275
Weird coincidence
>>35096705
I was doing 4x8 of 185 but the guy I was with was going 115 for his sets (he's a beginner, Ive been mentoring him) so we were constantly shifting weight around
>>35096663
>ask a guy if I can work in on the squat rack
>he says no
He did offer to blow me but I declined (early in my lifting career)
>>35096687
Simple asshole answer: squat more
Actual answer: alternate excersizes to more than simply squatting, I like to start with things like weighted lunges, box jumps, hac squats, and some occasional running. Then move on to different machines to isolate individual muscle groups. After doing these things mixed in with squatting for a few weeks your squat should improve.
Here's one that happened a whole ago:
>crowded gym
>trying to do rowes, but there's really not any room for it
>crammed between a pull down cable and some sort of lats machine
>kids on the cable, bodybuilder (probably early 40's) on the machine
>it's crammed, but trying my best not to be in anyone's way
>after 3 sets bodybuilder comes up to me and semi-aggressively asks me to take a smaller bar and use it so he doesn't trip over the bar (which wasn't really even an issue)
>I say I have one set left
>he pretty much brushes it off, body language saying to hurry up
>a minute later I realized I actually had an extra set to do, oh well
>after I finish my first set, he comes up to me
>"okay it's time to move, I'm not real fond of this anymore, you said you only had one set left, now it's time to move"
>I'm too in shock to be a hard ass. I just stare at him and say "sure."
>he then proceeds to unload my weight, find the smaller bar, reload my weight, then put the clips back on
>while he's doing this another guy was nice and told me a better place to do rowes
>I unloaded my newly loaded bar, put everything back, then moved to the new area for one last set
Sorry, no hardcore ending
>>35096687
You are lifting, don't let them give you shit
You'll get there bro
>Started on strong lifts about 6 months ago
>squatting 1pl8
>grill comes in to the next rack
>loads up 1.5pl8
>her nick name from then on is "quarter squat"
>fast forward to today
>warming up on 1pl8
>quarter squat comes in and gets the rack next to mine
>she loads up 1.5pl8
>see her watching in mirror, pretend to struggle on 1pl8
>see her smirking and laughing
>load up 2.5pl8
>rep 8 ass to grass with ease
>she mirin
>>35096663
>go gym
>deadlift 102.5 kilograms for 5 reps for 5 sets
>see girl looking acquintance
>I ask: "have we been in doings before?"
>"I donĀ“t think so", she say
>try be alfa male: "do not tell lie for me, I remember when girl so beatuful like you are beuotiful."
>she grin widely and say: "thanks you."
>I feeling asservite, because girl grin beuotifully and thanks
>"you know, I not this weak normal. I was in army for a lot of months, and there no time for lift iron. before me was apt to raise 200 kilograms from ground, lift like dead lift weigh."
>she say: "oh, you have been powerful."
>say to she: "if want went coffee, I able to take you. Never the less, you must pay for own coffee."
>she face not so happy no more, say: "I have man."
>begun feeling angry, as I have looked to she Facebook profile, and see: no man
>shout for she: "harlot!"
>droplets of tear crawl from her eyes
>she leave
Why is so challenging to get girlfriend, /fit/? Why are every female person such prostitute and dullard?
Whenever i do any physical activity, i get really really angry. Is that normal? It cools off pretty soon after I'm done.
>>35099125
>>"you have been powerful"
lost
>be me, like to learn stuff in between sets
>today I'm looking at Interface examples in C# on my phone between sets
>funny guy asks if I'm super setting my pecs with my thumbs
>smile and put phone away
>don't learn anything for the rest of my workout
>tfw I'm the autismo
>>35099125
>deadlift 102.5 kilograms
lost
>>35096722
cover her face with your country's flag and do her ad patriot
>>35099087
Noice f.am
>>35096921
You could've just said "Naa man I'm good". What's he going to do about it except cry like all body builders do
my office building has a shared gym for the people working in it. However i cant handle that soo many at the gym loves television a bit too much. Anyways this is the story
>arrive at the gym
>start out my normal chest rutine
>fat old bold man goes to the Television and turns it on with full volume
>politics debate going on in front of the squat rack
>squat rack is beside the bench
>fat old bold man comes to me asks for my opinion
>said polite to him I'm not here to discuss or watch TV
>fat man gets mad and walks back to the squat rack
>neither he or his friends were working out
> 20 minutes laitier the group went to the locker room
I have seen this group at the gym so many times acting similarly like the story
why are they even there?
and why does the gym have TV's?
>>35099125
shout for she:"harlot"
kek
>>35099830
my college gym has a tv thats mostly tuned to sports, college rugby, provincial rugby that kind of thing, I enjoy it occasionally to catch a glimpse of the game in between sets.
Haven't had any gym stories lately (I live in a small, fat town so it's usually me, my wife, and some regulars). Have one I saved a while ago:
>go to Planet Fitness Gym because wife has membership and doesn't like real gyms
>about once a month fat guy comes in, about 350 lbs.
>working out, so whatever, no hate.
>his form, however, is always terrible. Exclusively uses dumbbells and does the weirdest excercises.
>Today he brought a bag with what looked like a tarp (?) hanging out of it.
>Big ass grin on his face as he walks over to the treadmill and takes it out.
>Its a fucking parachute.
>like actually a running parachute
>he straps in, fires up the treadmill and starts running
>the chute limply rolls on the treadmill and onto the floor behind him, threatening to get pulled under by the tread.
>he's proud as punch
>Pic is MFW this entire ordeal
>>35099153
>C#
Just go with Java, breh.
>>35100367
morello-lel-icon
>>35099830
Get a TVBGONE thing.
>Trying to add in front squats and only working on form so my legs weren't really hit that day
>Decide to do some light sets of squats to hit my legs a little and go home.
>Some dude comes and uses the squat rack with his fat gf
>She does some squats with just the bar and then leaves for the machines
>He does some weak squats ending them at lmao2plates( I think I didn't even watch him because I was too busy flexing in the mirror) with shit form and struggling to finish reps
>I imagine how I could show him how it's done if I didn't work out already
>Realize that my lifts aren't that big compared to some people
>Realize he has a gf and she may be fat but she loves him so much she would even do his gay lifts with him
>Realize that at the end of the day he will cuddle with his gf while I will sleep alone shifting through my bed doing random flexes, getting up for a piss because I drank too much water and going for flexes in the bathroom mirror
>Realize that while I will never be happy with my own body or life he already has it all without even lifting heavy
>The only thing I do all day is lifting or shitposting on /fit/ about lifting and how I'd fuck bitches with my huge cock, it's not even huge it's average
>Suddenly feel insanely depressed
>Sit in locker room thinking about how it all means nothing
>Suddenly realize I've been sitting there for 15 minutes and I haven't had my post workout shake
>Quickly get dressed and rush home
>Think about what is happening in my life
>No matter how much I lift or train I'll always be a shallow guy and no girl will ever love me just for my personality
>I'll never know the feeling of someone genuinly being happy to talk to me because they love my personality so much that they enjoy every single second of talking or even being with me
>I'm just a black toxic ball of repressed angst and hate that could never experience pure love because I'm incapable loving someone like that
>>35100860
Kill urself already you sad cunt
>>35096687
>>35096904
while that is some solid advice, he's still only squatting 1.5 pl8. he's not at a point where he needs to isolate muscle groups because his hamstrings or quads are overdeveloped and affect his lifts.
just eat more and keep lifting brah. you'll hit 2pl8 and feel like a king.
>>35096663
>be me 4 months into lifting
>don't remember weight i was trying to do, but was doing dumbbell incline bench
>weight is so heavy/i'm too dyel to be able to do more than 3 or 4 reps so i need a spotter
>this huge fucking guy like 6'7 spots me
>first rep no prob
>second getting wobbly
>3rd barely goes up
>4th fuckfuckfuck
>despite the guy helping me balance the dumbbells the weight falls flat on my head
>it looks like it hurts
>doesn't
>i just look stupid as fuck
thank god i don't go there anymore
>>35100860
Chill senpai, its just a prank
>Doing incline db press next to a girl (6/10 face 7/10 body) in front of a big mirror
>Out of water, go fill my bottle
>Come back
>Girl takes a selfie with flash on just when I have walked past her
>Put my bottle down and look at the girl
>She's literally frozen
>Smirk at her
>Follows me around the empty gym for rest of my workout.
>>35100860
>tfw people love you for your body,personality and dick but can't feel the same back
>>35099125
10/10
>>35100367
I've read this story before. I hope you really saw it because that's incredible.
>>35100367
you do realize parachutes only work with wind
>at the gym
>girl I find cute is here today
>"Ok today I'm going to talk to er"
>never do
>"Ok at least make eye contact with her"
>"Here she comes"
>break eye contact almost instantly
5 years of lifting cannot cure autismo.
>tfw most of the "autism" when talking to women stems from the value of oneself
>tfw most people never figure out that they're worth more than they feel they are
>especially when they lift for years
>tfw you just want people to understand they deserve to feel good about themselves but they never do so they sperg out around women
>GTA San Andreas
>driving a car that's purple
>one of my niggas sees the car
>comments on my loyalty
>mfw
>>35099586
Ive taken to saying "nah man, YOURE good" seems to get a better reaction than "im good"
>>35103288
this, also "you're on it"
>>35103279
You a straight busta!
>>35099830
>bold
>>35100860
>I'm just a black toxic ball of repressed angst and hate that could never experience pure love because I'm incapable loving someone like that
Same here man, lifting is all that left for me
>>35100392
Go die, pleb cunt.
>>35096663
>Finish routine and go to cubbie to retrieve hoodie and gym bag
>60 year old ish black lady standing near my stuff talking to one of her friends
>Arms waving about, ass the size of Texas, makeup thicker than the frontal armor of a King Tiger
>One of her flailing arms smacks into me as I reach for my bag
>She does a huge double take, shock all over her face
>Shouts some shit about how she's sorry while she proceeds to pat my shoulder
"It's okay, no big deal."
>She continues to grope and prod my upper body
>I stand there awkwardly while she feels me up
>Her hands run over my chest and shoulders and biceps while she keeps exaggerating her apology
>Huge perverted grin on her thick ass lips
>Situation is leaving my control
>Decide to play it off as a joke
"Umm...I think I need an adult."
>She leans in with a chuckle
>"Don't worry sug, I am an adult."
>pic related
>Sidle over to stairs and drive home feeling violated
>>35100860
>getting up for a piss because I drank too much water and going for flexes in the bathroom mirror
I thought I was the only one.
>>35104355
how dare you rape an innocent woman you shitlord
>>35104355
i like to flirt back with the old ladies. i find the admiration flattering.
if i was a girl i'd prob be kind of a slut.
pretty sure i caught some girl biting her lip and staring at me and i ignored her.
blondes are sluts mane.
>>35099125
Kek
>>35099087
>2.5pl8
Nobody mirin mate
Hit 4-5 plate area then people mirin
>>35103057
Practice on other girls
>>35100936
>2pl8 and feel like king
This used to be the case in the Uni gym where only 5 people could squate 2pl8 and 2 monster could squat 5.
Now I'm at golds and 2pl8 is the norm. Banging out 3pl8 is the new "mediocre".
I can barely push out one 3pl8 ass to grass.
>Be in Oly uni gym.
>Junior champ doing singles of 180 kg ATG squats
>I'm doing 100kg 5x5 TM.
>Scrawny guy comes in
>Black hoodie on.
>Headphones.
>Acne.
>Receding hairline guy is pretty much r9k in human form all he needs is to be fat and a fedora.
>Still guy is improving no hate.
>Literally looks at me and Oly guy.
>Loads up 1pl8
>shittiest form in existence and to add insult to injury quarter squat (not even half or to parallel )
>Looks impressed with himself
>Loads up 2pl8
>same shit
>loads up 3pl8
>wobbly knees shit is getting higher and higher.
>Loads up 4pl8 now
>Guy is literally unable to unrack it.
>Deloads to 3pl8 and half then does the same squats as that guy in the webm.
>Does some random shit afterwards with straps I think he was doing SLDL.
>Leaves.
>Literally everyone laughing.
>Oly champ shaking head as guy is legit bro and helps beginners if they ask for help.
I just don't get his reasoning behind it, does he really think it's impressive?
>>35100334
kiwi?
>>35104725
>tfw catch people staring after last set of 4pl8x3
>>35104542
>im a hyper beta
I was wondering who was posting all women arent like that in every thread , now i know
>>35104775
>TM
what is TM?
>>35105013
Only thing that makes sense is Texas method so presumably the guy can do 130-140 kg x 5 in his intensity day.
>>35100392
javas being removed in unity so C# is the way forward
>>35100983
underrated post
>>35103057
I know how you feel. Hold the stare and let it be awkward, the worst could happen and you'll be ok.
>Be DB benching in free weight area
>sitting on an adjustable bench facing the rack because between sets
>out of the corner of my eye I witness this huge mexican guy walking towards the rack while curling 5lb DBs in cadence with his steps
>intredasting.jpg
>he gets to the db rack and slams them down on top of it
>as he does this, he simultaneously spins his head around and gives me the deepest death stare I have ever felt
>how did he know i was looking
>as I stare into the beady eyes of el diablo, he lets go of the weights and starts slowly walking away, still staring
>he's now standing behind me and starts talking on the phone in spanish
>o fuck he must be cartel and he's here to behead me or some shit
>he heard me call my friend a spic on skype
>why else would he be doing a seemingly made up exercise at a gym full of white dudes
>anyway right after that he left and I haven't seen him there since
>>35096921
>while he's doing this another guy was nice and told me a better place to do rowes
So the whole story basically was "I was pissing people off because I was too dumb to find an open space"?
>>35096687
keep lifting for two more years and laugh when you realize how much better you are than him
>DYEL Friend asks to lift with me
>sure bruh
>Take him to gym, show him basic form on bench
>Awkwardly does 3 reps, ignoring everything I told him about form
>Proceeds to follow me around and only do one set of everything I do
>never wants to come to the gym again
is he just fucking lazy or am I a bad teacher? I teach them exactly the way I was taught and they just instantly give up. Had two girls say the same thing and then after showing them how to squat they wouldn't even try squatting the bar, they just ran on the treadmill for ten minutes instead and then asked how long until I was done
>>35099125
>before me was apt to raise 200 kilograms from ground, lift like dead lift weigh
10/10
>>35096921
I wouldnt have moved tbqh family. If he has no spatial awareness yhen thats his fucking problem. Clearly no one else cared
>>35099153
Whyd you even acknowledge him. He wouldve looked like a faggot if u sat there and kept soing what your doing
>>35105725
ur proibably autistic desu senpai
>>35100392
Kill yourself
>>35105251
making ur own games from scratch feels more satisfying imo desu
making games in unity seems boring, may as well just play a proper gud game if i wanna do that
>>35105725
Do fun stuff. Dumbells are fun. There's lots of really fun lifts like tripod rows, Arnold press, shrugs. It's not like "These are deadlift, bench press, and squat, BEGIN."
Think of it this way, was the first book you read Warriner's English Grammar and Composition? Or was it Hop on Pop? It's not like you're going to kill your gains if you do beginner squats one day instead of using the squat rack.
>>35106978
>It's not like you're going to kill your gains if you do beginner squats one day instead of using the squat rack.
But what if you do anon?
>Be at the gym
>resting from squat
>notice qt latina girl with dat ass walking around
>finish up my squat and get ready to bench
>bitch starts doing some shit where she's stepping up on a bench with some dumbells right as I'm setting up
>distracting as fuck because dat ass
>start benching while kinda distracted
>muh dick doing some reps too
>think about just leaving right after finishing benching because can't focus
I ended up doing all my shit with a little difficulty because I was distracted. There's a reason why I go to the gym at night; fuck
>>35104355
TFSfag detected
>>35099125
Sounds like you're pretending to not be able to speak english.
>>35100392
poo in loo
> gym at ge subsidiary (intern)
> doing squats 1.5pl8
> ~40 in shape old manlet comes over
> says something but i have my headphones in, saw him gesture to a plate so assumed he said "can i use that?"
> take off a headphone and say "yea theyre all yours"
> replies "yeah just grab 2 and help me bring these over ok" in a really arrogant tone
> not really sure what he meant, but i pick up a plate and see him walking across the gym and start loading his plates onto a leg press
> this faggot actually expected me to carry plates and help me load his leg press
> put down the plate and go to the water station for a min to avoid him
Fuck old entitled people
>go to gym
>gym only has one squat cage, one bench
>freeweight area is tiny
>guy is doing deadlifts in the squat cage
>point it out
>"yeah my buddy here is using the only open floor area"
>theres another small area he could be doing deadlifts in
Such a minor detail, yet still annoyed me that day
>>35108410
Fucking laughed. Your friend posing is just as scummy as u
>>35108410
Hahahahaha
>>35100250
That's what heaven looks like.
>>35105481
You have one month gringo
>>35103801
Same. I feel so hollow and numb
>>35096663
>doing OHP for reps
>guy benching sees me inbetween sets, asks for a spot
>sure
>Has like 1.5pl8, says hes going to do 5 reps
>ok mayne
>starts repping, 1...2...3...4...5. . . .6??
>Keeps going, let him do his thing
>corner of eye, some mom starts deracking my plates for OHP
>Guy is an animal, cant bail out and tell the mom to fuck off
>starts struggling at 13 or so, help him with the last reps while eyeing my bar being deracked
>literally yank the bar up at 15 reps and run over
>its too late, a mom group has ransacked my area
>look back, the guy is gone, weights even deracked
>i was visited by the real life gains goblin
>>35103279
Gsf for life!!!
>>35104960
shouldn't it be 4pl 3x8? the number of sets comes before the reps.
>>35109541
4pl8 = 4 plates
4 plates for 3 reps.
I'm a sad, broken individual with crippling social anxiety and no motivation other than guilt and disappointment I would be to my family.
>>35109608
>3 reps
>>35109905
I usually switch from 5 reps of lower weight to heavy weight and sets of 2 or 3.
>>35109938
i mean reps of 2 or 3.
>in gym around January
>dyel faggot squatting lmao2pl8
>It's 5 o'clock so I'm ready to rumble
>this scrawny cunt is using my squat rack with poor form and is really pissing me off
>walk right up into his face and say "five minutes"
>keep watching him from the reception desk, I was gonna file a report
>go back over in five minutes and he still isn't done
>tell him to get the fuck off right now
>he tells me to fuck off
>push him over and the barbell goes flying over his back
>almost hits some bitch doing yoga shit and smashes a mirror
>tell him he's a fucking piece of trash and kick him in the mouth while he's on the ground
>tell him to never come in here on a monday again
>he runs out of the gym
>I squat
>>35104542
Thats how fetishes start
One day you're stealing tshirts and the next day you're smelling used panties
>>35110021
Nice tantrum
>>35105251
Java and JavaScript are two very different things.
>>35106219
Spoken like someone who has never actually made a game, t b h f a m.
>>35103279
thanks for the memories
>>35109608
doesn't he need to being doing sets too? or is it a 1x3? I'm sorry
>>35110071
Hi, beta.
>>35099153
>2015
>C#
Literally why even live. Why have you not killed yourself yet. The whole .NET ecosystem is available to you and you choose C#?
>not using F#, becoming enlightened, and proving your programs correct
>not using ironpython and at least being able to not type boilerplate
Do you have Stockholm syndrome from too many years of [spoiler] ENTERPRISE-GRADE SCALABLE SOLUTIONS[/spoiler] or are you just learning to program? If there latter, just read SICP.
>be me
>be squatting lmao 2,5 pl8
>train in this really old and small gym (there's "better" gyms near me but I love the old timey feeling there)
>every.single.time ten 70-80 yo
granpas start saying "Oh look at all that weight!! I wish I could do that!"
>"When I was younger I squatted lmao 5 pl8"
>just smile and laugh awkwardly
They are nice to talk during rests and to listen to their stories
>>35109068
>>doing OHP for reps
Yuropoor here, what is the real meaning OHP for reps?, what that "for" means? are you saying that you were doing a set with more than one rep per set?
>>35110239
Yes.
>OHP 1pl8=do one rep
>OHP 1pl8 for reps=do reps with 1pl8
>>35096904
This is fucking retarded, sorry mate.
If you are some kind of runner / specific sportsmen then it's fine.
But telling someone that wants to improve his squat not to squat but to do other exercises to improve his squat instead if just plain stupid.
The "asshole" answer is the only right answer.
Surprising that if you want to get better at something you have to do it more often.
>>35110021
> I was gonna file a report
Fucking snitch
>>35110194
Have you ever worked a single day of your life?
Try to be honest
>>35110265
Key phrase:
> mixed in with squatting
You've clearly never heard of the idea of shocking your muscles by doing a variety of exercises in order to promote an increase in strength. Anyone who's ever hit a plateau will tell you that its sometimes better to do different exercises to work the same muscle group instead of just doing the same exercise with the same weight over and over hoping that it'll eventually increase. Especially for a beginner who likely has very little developed muscle, its good for them to expose themselves to many different exercizes instead of just doing the same few day in and day out. You've either posted the best b8 I've ever seen or are a complete autist. Either way, kindly fuck off
>>35110323
>shocking muscle
>plateau at fucking 1.5pl8
Mate, you are borderline retarded m.
Have you ever looked into a single, successfull and known strength program?
SS / SL / canditos / TM / sheiko / ... ?
Do you see any of these trying to "shock" muscle by switching out squats every other session?
Do you want to put your miserable experience against those of successfull and known coaches?
>today, benching with buddy
>notice couple of guys showing off to some sloots in the power rack
>they're half repping 1.5 pl8
>point this out to buddy, who is a squat form autist
>he starts staring the guys down as they increase to 2 pl8 and they begin quarter repping
>buddy is still staring these fucks down, saying nothing, they notice and begin glancing back
>eventually one guy loads 3 pl8, unracks it, folds to the safeties on first rep
>squat dudes put away the weights, walk away
I don't know who's the autist here
>>35106219
>making a game from scratch
>scratch
>literally child tier learning programming language
Enjoy your BABBY BUILDING BLOCKS m8
>>35099125
2/10
Burger pretending to be slav. Eurofags not amused.
>>35100367
>running parachute
Is this a thing somewhere? To create drag when running?
>>35105725
Friend is lazy. I started one of my work buddies into working out. Guy jumped right into my powerlifting routine trying to outwork me at it.
>>35110466
your buddy dominated those guys without saying a single word or even moving a muscle
>today
>Squatting in rack next to guy diddylifting lmao1pl8
>full on snap city form, both palms facing sky
>watch him do 8 reps with interest
>talk to him once he finishes that set, correct him on form and even demonstrate it once for him
>gives me a glare and says thanks sarcastically
>watch him snapcity diddy another 10 reps
>swear I heard his back crack a few times
Why do people let ego control them so much?
I just hope he remembers me on his trip to snapcity one day.
>>35103279
CJ you busta!
>be me at gym
>went at a different time so everyone looks at me /mires at me like "who dat?"
>gym is full of mirrors, in one of the reflexion, see a grill take a picture of me with her phone (well, maybe she didn't, but it felt good to be quite honest)
>>35110021
you should get charged for aggravated assault you fucking beta fag
>>35100392
T O P K E K
>>35110310
I've worked for Microsoft and currently work at Google.
You're just mad because I'm an [spoiler][b][I][u][sup]EXPERT[/sup][sub]PROGRAMMER[/sub][/u][/i][/b][/spoiler].
>be me
>be pretty skinny looking guy
>diddly 4pl8 for 5 reps
>biggest guy on the uni rugby team, tries to do the same
>can't manage a rep
>mfw
>>35110674
How the fuck do you even deadlift with both palms upwards?
>>35110674
>>35111012
1 pl8 would't be that hard desu, especially if you don't care about form.
Damn good way to tear a bicep though
>training next to a guy who's quarter frontsquatting with wobbly knees
>langy sginnyfad langedd hibbster :DDDD
>i can hear his knees slowly exploding as he slows down before going back up
>thought i'd spread the good word of our lord and saviour Rippetoe
>tell him his knees will probably continue functioning more than a year from now if he can get to paralell or past it
>explain the mechanics to him
>almost drew him a fucking chart
>he just shakes his head "nah man"
>"i dont want my butt to get any bigger than it already is"
>mfw
>get to the gym
>its diddly doo time
>dyel kid already there didling lmao2pl8
>i begin doing a few reps of 1 pl8
>kid smirking
>doing a few reps of 2 pl8
>kid smirking still, adds 2,5kg to his bar
>i add the 3rd pl8 and start 10 repping
>kid starts mirin
>i add another half plate
>kid cant control his eyes anymore
>turns head to look at me even when lifting
>starts imitating my superior overhand grip
>mfw i just became an idol for this little kiddo and hopefully motivated the shit out of him
>>35111103
This is the best, peoples faces when the plates just keep going on after each warmup.
>be me benching
>gymmate comes along
>"anon touch my ass, its rockhard!"
>"dude, dat ass is fine"
>turn 180Ā° and moonwalk away of shame
>>35105126
100kg for 5x5 is nowhere near 130-140 for intensity, 120 max
>>35108146
You don't, meathead.
>be femanon
>guys in gym mirin' dat body and seem like they want to chat
>Deadlift day, time to go all out
>Deadlift 290lbsx5
>qts giving me weird looks now, don't attempt to chat
>tfw no legit powerlifters at my gym
>tfw no bf
>>35110021
>Guy comes back with a trench coat and a gun
>ohshitbetauprising.jaypeegee
>get murdered
>go to hell, burn for eternity
>conservatives continue to fight for his second amendment rights
Such is life in Trump's America.
>>35110674
I fucking wish one of the wheybrains in my gym would show me squat form.
>>35110351
> successfull and known coaches
>SS and SL are literally meant for 6-10 month of just going to gym
>Skellys and auschwitz-mode get up to about 1.5 pl8 in about that time if they're not try harding [spoiler]Hint: 90% don't[/spoiler]
>implying it's impossible to plateu at low weight because you have shit stabilizers and/or mobility
>implying doing same shit over and over again is the best way to his stabilizers and/or increase mobility
>implying SS/SL isn't simplified so as not to scare imbeciles and autists and people that don't have 3-4 hours to work compounds, do assist work and work weaker muscle groups on
machines
>implying SS-like routines are popular not because they are simple and "good enough"
[spoiler]>implying Rip is against other exercise to add into the routine [spoiler]fuck, i don't know I haven't read the meme book, but I doubt he's vocally against being a pro[/spoiler]
>>35111571
Mirin
height weight?
>>35111571
ĪĪĪĪĪĪ
Ī
Ī
Ī
Ī
Ī
>Working out with gymbro
>Chest/Triceps day, making all kinds of gains
>Suddenly, THAT guy walks in
>Longpants, Hoodie, Earbuds
>EARBUDS in a gym that already plays music
>Doesnt even change, "gymwear" already on
>Walks straight to the squatrack
>Starts squatting with just the bar (wat)
>Loads a few small plates on
>Does 5 struggling reps
>Sits down, face already red as a tomato
>Sits on his fucking ass for over 2 mins before doing 5 more
>Considers his "set" done, deloads the bar
>Uses the SAME FUCKING BAR to do OHP
>Without clips
>PT at the gym runs over and shows him where the clips are
>Mumbles something about not needing them and reluctantly puts them on
>Gymbro mouths "what the fuck" and just stares
>Mr earbud does the same 5 forced reps
>Panting from less reps than I do as warmup, he deloads the bar again
>Drops it to the floor
>Starts doing deadlifts with THE SAME FUCKING BAR
>Entiregymstaring.jpg
>Hoodieboy does 5 painfully struggling reps and then just gives up
>Deloads the bar
>Walks straight out of the gym
>Doesnt even SHOWER OR CHANGE CLOTHES
>Me and friend are practically in tears
>Mfw his "workout" took less time than our tricepsets
>Mfw this fucktard returns two days later IN THE SAME CLOTHES
Saw him getting weighed at the gym once, he even gained weight lmao
>>35111901
g8 b8 m8 i giv it an 8
>>35111867
Ī£Ī¤ĪĪĪ§ĪĪĪĪ
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>>35111975
pay debnts
>>35111901
so, some people are weaker than you
what are you, 12?
thats what people are going to the gym for
>>35112102
Newfag
>>35099586
this kek
I'm a skinnyfat DYEL, luckily I'm quite tall. I get approached by swole manlet kebabs every now and then who try to intimidate me by staring and telling me to hurry up a million times. Laughs on them, I'll be taking five minute breaks between my squats as much as I want.
>>35110546
Elite sprinters use them in training. Usually called drag chutes. Sometimes football players use em.
>>35099125
Holy shit 10/10
I'm gonna tell you the horrible autism that made me skip gym for a month
>19 years old
>At gym, casualfag at the time so was wearing pic related
>Had a hard time making friends, always wanted a gymbro
>Tried making contact a few times with people at the gym with poor results
>See huge black guy walking in
>Wears pretty much the same shoes as me, same brand and all
>The spaghetti in my brain tells me this would be a good way to establish friendship
>Stand next to him doing curls in the DB section
>Look over his way a few times but chicken out
>He must have noticed me staring
>Removes one of his earbuds and looks at me like a giant questionmark
>"Hey nice hillniggers" I just blurt out
>"The fuck you say?"
>"NO I mean your niggs, figgs, the shoes"
>I just point at his feet, rambling shit
>He shoves me hard in the chest and steps towards me
>I just drop the dumbbells and run out of there, left my jacket and all
>Ran all the way home and didnt go back to the gym
>Ended up switching gyms, lost 6 months worth of membership due to my autism
>Never wore my shoes again, told mom I lost them
not sure if this is really relevant, but
>be me at the gym
>two hightest (these girls had hips that don't lie)
>whatever, keep lifting
>benching when they start doing this retarded jumping excersise... IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FREE WEIGHTS AREA
>all lifters trying to keep their eyes away
>my dick likes it but I'm annoyed by how slutty these girls are
>is there no deed too low for sloots?
>keep lifting
>they try to take my bench while I'm away
>bish got crushed under the weight after taking away 20kg and thinking she could lift that
>had to pull it off her, bish had tears in her eyes
I cringed so hard that day
>>35112176
ahahahahaha should've called a manager over for him assaulting you because you said you like his shoes
>>35112176
What the fuck
>>35112176
>Hillniggers
>>35111177
Anon that posted story here, my intensity is 132.5 kg x5 last week and in 2 days gonna go for 135 kgs.
Upping the volume day is the biggest problem with TM if you haven't read what Justin's book.
>gym has like 90 running machines, with a third in use at peak
>only one bench and one leg press, one set of dumbbells
>leaving gym usual parting with desk jockey think she has a crush on me but i dont fuck around with gains goblins
>she stops me to tell me i havr the best power cleaning form she ever saw
>brain doesnt compute literal first time power cleaning plus im in sperries so i cant jump high
>its more like a clean into a front squat so a jump squat
>look at her with disgust as she slowly stops speaking entirely
>reflect on what i did for a full 24 hours plus
Here i am
Office gym so I guess this should be expected. All of this shit happened today.
>autist so I wear my earbuds in the gym
>I'm the only guy who can bench 105kg, the highest one before me is at 40kg
>was walking around looking for the alcohol spray
>every.single.fucking.time I get near any equipment, the person on it asks if I want to use it and offers that I take their place
Happened to 4 different guys. I'm not even big, 75kg, 15%bf range.
Also, bonus story.
>gym bunnies doing yoga
>there's a girl in the office who actually "teaches" yogayylmao
>they're done, gossiping about shit
>didn't hear the full conversation but heard shit about how lifting weights is easy, notice one of them point at me while benching 105kg and she mentions that isn't hard because males have strong arms
>she then does some pose, I believe it's called "Vagina stretch with yoga pants digging in your pussy while spreading that shit wide", at least that's what it looked like to me
>then says guys can't do it because it's hard
To be honest, I probably wouldn't be able to hold any of their poses for several seconds, but why would I even want to do them?
While pumped I can't even touch my shoulders, and that makes my dick hard. Basic stretching and warmup sets is enough.
Still can't h8 her, free live softcore porn after all. She keeps reeling in the qts to join too.
>>35096722
>she still looks like she doesn't know what to do
Sorry to break it to you, anon. She knew what she was doing - the autism was strong with you that day.
>>35110263
How did she deload it if the barbel was on the ground
Your story is fishy nigger
Also 1pl8 Tell me what you think. I'm curious to know what it sounds like I'm saying.
Story of Tantalus
Stretch these arms of mine to heavenās fruit.
Scream this voice of mine to the sound of a mute
Let me suckle the sweet skin, like I did so enjoy
My arms, extend! A helpless ploy
Once before I grasped this fruit, delicious as it was
Though confused was I and that's because
How many times I enjoyed this same fruit?
Gnawed away at it like the brute
Instead the taste I should savor
Though now Iām without this flavor
And as I stretch my arms a little further you run
Run little fruit climb the branches further, loved one
How did I not realize? As I grabbed at her
Memory of her sweetness now but a blur
Alas I look up into the sky, and see the fruit dangling
Here on the earth I stand wrangling
With the Gods pleading to hold it yet again in my hand
But even 100 of me stacked up could not stand
As tall as that tree who holds my fruit.
I wish I could stop grabbing out for you, sweet fruit.
Even though I can never reach you, why is my arm extended?
Had I waited to make my move, would you have descended?
I cannot even see you now fruit, you are too high in the heavens.
Curse my wretched arm, that continues to reach
Crackling joints rip as I continue to reach
I take one arm and pull the other and reach
And
Also
>1pl8
>impressive
>>35110194
This. Dunno bout F# but SICP ftw.
>Pic related
>at gym doing my chest routine
>qt grill walks in with boyfriend (assuming)
>they decide to set up right behind my bench while im doing inclines.
>"boyfrand" seems like hes gonna learn her some knowledge today.
>start to do some shitty good morning/deadlift variant. Back rounded, no hip support. My back hurt just from watching
>Wow.jpg
>tits are huge and I can basically see nips
>on her way up notices me miring
>ohshit.jpg ....busted
>smirks at me and keeps doing her set
>I just smiled back and shook my head at her "boyfriend" for allowing such shitty form.
>she grabs a step up platform and continues more sets bending further even more
>her tits are basically out at the point, major test boost. Could have broken PRs if she was there at the beginning of my workout.
>Move to chest fly machine and she moves to back hyperextensions smack dab in front of me.
>boyfrand pulls her off to squat rack and barely pushs out lmao1pl8 x 5 then tells her its her turn...
>Reallybro?
>Comes back following night with manlet and they head straight back to squat rack
>Shes mirin as Im leaving gym.
About to just be alfa dick and tell her to not learn his shitty forms before she breaks her spine. Offer to teach her and ask her out to talk "form" Kind of mirin and cringepost.
>>35112623
Do it! Just be 'nice' about it. You don't want to come off as a dick to her, but correcting his form politely could be a win. What've you got to lose?
>>35110275
>>35110071
>>35110778
falling for le bait
>at applebees with friends from work
>half off appetisers
>people ordering appetiser to share
>as the waiter brings them out everybody's remarking how there's "no way they're going to finish these"
>my chicken quesadillas come
>woah, anon! that's huge!
>obliterate it in 5 minutes
>slam my glass of water
>waitress fills it up every time she comes over, which is like ten
>slam it immediately after she fills it
>at one point she asks if I'm just pouting it out somewhere
>everyone freaking out about how I eat
>"anon do you always eat like this?"
>realise they've never seen me eat a meal before
>"yeah"
>"why aren't you fat then?"
This is the world of normies
>>35112209
>Bish
Go. Don't come back.
>>35112422
What a fag,mobility is important you meathead.
>>35111901
Cute bait retard
>>35112971
Kekd
After cutting hard I can eat like 4000kcal worth food in one sitting
>>35113241
Newfag
>>35096687
I might be guilty of making people think I'm judging them. A lot of times I mire good form, regardless of weight. A week ago some guy was doing beautiful ATG squats at 1 pl8 and I was watching. He noticed and I just hope he doesn't feel bad or discouraged.
>>35110021
this never happened
>>35110021
Hi Kirk.
>>35108228
Aw did the pretty girl make you nervous
>>35096921
>happened a whole ago
>>35105481
Cinco
Cinco minutas
>>35112511
Lol WTF
This is the most embarassing thing ive done pasted some fucking poetry into my post by accident
>see beautiful woman in smith machine
>sets up lmao1pl8
>leans back to the bar
>squats down
>bar is over her ass, and her feet are placed forward like she's sitting down in a chair
>does half reps like this then gets on the floor in front of the smith
>planks and starts tossing two 2.5lb weights from her left to her right
Wish I took a picture. It was the strangest thing.
>>35100860
the guy you saw was me
>>35114157
a lot of people do this at my gym with the smith machine
>>35099125
>Say to she
Sides kekked into orbit
>>35114157
They're advanced skateboard squats.
>>35096687
>tfw I'm dying at 155lb squat.
Wtf do I do?
I only diddlylift 2pl8 as well for 5 reps.
I don't look thaaaat dyel though
>>35114558
>I don't look thaaaat dyel though
...yes you do
That tricep separation you barely notice with a pump means nothing when you're 120lb wet.
>>35110934
Sure you do bud.
>>35114590
I swear bruh, I have 15" biceps, pretty good shoulders (at 125lb ohp, for 6-8, nearing 1pl8)
My back looks pretty good with down lighting too.
I just lift bitch weights, it's weird.
>>35108396
That's why if you don't hear someone, you should ask them to repeat themselves.
>>35114760
If you cando 125 for 8 but cant do 135 for one something is wrong or you are slying faggot. Probably doing a hxc push press
>>35110021
>this happened
>>35114789
I only really move up when I feel I can do the exercise for 6-8 reps. I'd probably be able to get 3-5 on 135lb OHP, but I've yet to try.
>>35112058
fucking kek
>>35100860
Are you the guy that was eyeballing me at the gym the other day? I was actually pretty proud to finally hit 2pl8 after fucking my back up a few months ago.
>>35114605
Read your SICP.
>>35110021
I can't believe nobody is fucking getting this.
>>35114760
Post pics. Guaranteed you look like shit
>>35115223
Welcome new friend. Enjoy the may mays
this happened 6 months ago
>at the work gym, with my coworker who can't even atg balance unloaded
>our oldguy supervisor who used to casually powerlift introduces us to a guy squatting 3pl, amazing form and a kickass mustache
>my buddy practicing squats without the bar, has terrible form, oldguy and mustache are giving him tons of great advice
>months since I lifted at all so I just go to warmup squats with the bar
>mustaches eyes pop out at my form
>he asks "you say you've never squatted before?"
>I say "no lol just been a long time since I've been to the gym regularly
>mustache laughs, says "Oh lol otherwise I thought you were like the Coming of Squat Christ, your form is like perfect
>feltgoodman
>its me
>in college library
>iphone on its side
>cute chubby library woman comes up to me
>tries to talk in a stern voice
>"are you taking pictures?"
>she picks up my iphone
>checks through it
>says "had me worried for a second"
>pic related me that day
>mfw random girls mire you so much they think youre ntaking pics
>>35115701
yup...mirin...
>>35096722
>not boning an old sloot. cmon mang just hit it raw doggie style and blow your load up that cooze
>>35114812
...that explains why you're lifting babbyweight
Get on a linear strength program till you're intermediate brah.
>>35114033
nigga greek mythologic is god-tier
>>35096819
Calm.
>>35114982
Dank howd you get a job at google? What school?
>>35115944
Thanks iwrote it myself
>>35117621
y in these videos do the mudslimes always leave their tanks alone to fight a bunch of guys hiding in buildings w/ rpgs.
>>35117621
Bitch I never went to school a day in my life. My father taught me to read my reading me [spoiler]SICP[/spoiler] every night and when I was older and he was dying, I read it to him. When he was finally reclaimed to the Eternal Heap he left me his parens - elegant weapons from a more civilized age. I spent one year recursively subdividing and cleaning them sector by sector until I was ready to perform technical interviews.
Then I got Rob Pike to refer me after I fixed a data race in Go.
>>35118026
The tank is probably totally inoperable thanks to them being stuck in an area where they cannot navigate. That and their infantry support is dead, so the tanks are basically coffins.
>>35104355
kek'd
>>35113758
Any person in the gym with me makes me nervous bro
>>35096904
What are you on? He didn't say "I'm totally stalling despite consistent lifting and dieting", he just said he was using babby weight.
The right answer is "be patient and keep lifting, you'll get there", not a bunch of broscience about changing training.
>>35112368
Lifts in sperrys. 8O
>>35099153
>Not using a workout as the break from all that that makes the study time more productive
Sup-optimal/10, you must write shitty code
>>35099125
holy shit i love this post
Well my gym is in the same building as my office.
>regular 1 on 1 meeting with big guy
>as we walk out the meeting room he asks if I've been lifting because my body shape is similar to body builders even under a shirt
>tfw v taper looking sharp as fuck
>chest and biceps exploding
I've made it /fit/.
>>35104725
Roiders arent people anon, people are people, 2.5 isnt too impressive but its better then everyone who doesnt even lift
>>35099413
Ha, ha, old af
You are Spanish, right?
>>35110758
>(well, maybe she didn't, but it felt good to be quite honest)
>>35110674
People don't usually like to be preached to when they're trying to work out.
>get to gym later than usual for reasons
>squat day
>immediately notice the girl in orange booty shorts that's a decent 7.5/10
>she's doing squats as well and we keep glancing at each other when the other is resting
>she has rainbowish colored hair and her bootyshorts are being eaten by her camel toe
>has a tat on her ankle
>seems like she workouts but wants attention
>try to avoid her due to the rainbow hair
>doing stiff leg deads
>she's with some friend
>they pass in front of me and she starts teaching the friend to do that ninja pose where you stretch and crouch on one leg while the other leg is outstretched
>decides to get almost in front of me and do it
>literally setting up and her ass in parallel to my face
>could literally slap it if I wanted to she's that close
>doesn't even give a shit
WHy do girls do this shit? She's just looking for attention, correct?
>>35124616
yes, attention, hence the hair colour.
>>35124616
Here, study this anon and you will be fine.
>>35099153
Next time tell him you'll superset his mouth with your dick
>big guy (for me) doing 3pl8 hip thrusts, no pad
>ask him how he manages it not hurting
>shows me how to do it
>asks me if I want to do glutes with him for a bit
>n-no h-homo
>>35099153
>.NET
> more like .LOL
>>35124683
>>35124715
Yeah that picture is why I tried avoiding her.
>>35099153
>yeah man, gotta get them stronger; you'd be surprised how hard it is to force them in your mom's ass while I'm fucking her
There you go senpai
>>35124973
This is the only correct response.
I read the news on my phone between sets.
>enter gym, both squat racks are taken
>whatever, I can start with bench instead
>done with bench
>squat rack frees up, couple takes it
>ree
>well fuck, time to do chins
>done with chins
>second squat rack frees up
>the girl from the couple stops working in with her bf, takes the other rack
>REEEEE
fucking normies. I had to wait 20 minutes not doing anything else
>at jim
>see absolute 3.14
>try not to pay her any attention during whole work out
>finishing up
>walking back to get my last set in
>shes about 20 feet away from me walking to something else
>she lock eyes
>both break eye contact at the same time
>lock eyes again
>well i might aswell do something now
>give little half smile and wave
>she smiles and waves and looks down at the ground in a shy manner
>leave gym
r8 my betaness /fit/
maybe ill say something today if i see her around
>>35125426
You just planted a seed, she will think of you until you see each other again. Just talk to her next time.
I don't see a beta, I see an alpha gardener.
>>35112511
Nice poem
Motivates me to break some PRs
>>35125604
This is truth. You did good Anon.
>>35126263
>>35125604
thanks brehs, this makes me feel a little more confident.
>>35125395
Just do heavy goblet squats and call it a day
>>35103057
i do this, it has been going on like this for 6 months
is it now too late to engage a convo? weve beel iterally been staring for months, she might be fucking scared to death by me, idk
>>35104768
>tfw 1 plate
>>35110674
not sure if its ego or they dont take advice from strangers as legit
>super setting triceps using the cables and dumbbells
>last set someone uses dumbbells whilst I'm on the cables
>calmly walk up to him when he's finished his set and ask if I can use them for my last superset
>nervously says "sure", picks up all his stuff and scurries downstairs
Did I scare the guy? Really didn't mean to
>>35099125
heartly kek
>>35126578
If you were using cables, you weren't scarring anyone, buddy.
>doing lmao1plate OHP
>catch guy in freeweight area doing bench rows
>mirin' his glutes
>catch him looking at me looking at his ass in the mirror
>avert gaze
>he continues
>mfw
>>35104411
I get it.
>>35115701
She took your phone? You should have slapped that bitch.
>>35124715
>picture of a flower
>warning coloration
kek no, although that does highlight what the hair is probably intended to do rather than what it humorously serves as
>>35108228
>muh dick doing some reps too
fuck anon I almost spilled a shitton of water on my notebook
