Mirin Thread
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You are currently reading a thread in /fit/ - Fitness
Didn't see a Mirin thread
>At home bored, get txt from old boss
>go down to bar to chill with him and his girl
>he buys all the drinks and plays pool ignoring us
>"wow anon, you've gotten a bit bigger"
>she rubs her legs on mine in her tights
>she talks about how john doe is such and ass
and that I'm really attentive
>old boss gets in fight with bartender and gets kicked out
>we all leave but before we go
>"can't wait to see you again next time anon"
>>35242629
This just happened a few hours ago
>go to the gym and get a pretty sick workout in
>shower and change out
>head to local burger king in the same plaza for some chicken nuggers because the macros are fucking godly and sodium isn't literally hitler
>wearing a nice form fitting shirt that looks even better because I'm rocking the pump
>walk up to the register and cutie cashier is standing there waiting for the next customer
>looks me up and down
>I smile back expecting her to ask me what my order is
>she is still fucking looking at me, her spaghetti begins to fly everywhere contaminating the product
>turns to her coworker "h, hey can you handle this for me... I, I don't know how to work the register"
>he rolls his eyes at her and goes back to working the drivethrough
>get my order taken by somebody that wasn't autistic and enjoy the rest of my night
Felt fucking great.
>>35243761
>be working
>first day on job
>pretty anxious and not sure how to work the register
>serving customer, all is fine
>smell disgusting milk mixed with piss smell
>look up
>some really short guy wearing a really tight shirt with a belly is standing in front of me, staring at my chest. His face is red and drenched in sweat
>panic and ask manager to deal with him
>>35242629
>girl looked at me today
>was in the general direction a person happened to turn their head at
Girl is coming over to my place tomorrow to watch the shining.
>it was her idea
what do?
>20% bf
>>35242629
Who the semen demon?
>>35243799
y, you must have smelled bad
>mfw I'm 6ft tall so I'm only a manlet to the most extreme of shitposters
I mentioned that I had showered for faggots just like you that think nobody gets mired because you don't. Get your aunt fucked.
>>35243854
Watch the movie and try not to be a retard. Make sure you sit close to her with your arms around her especially for the scary parts. Find some transition into making out. Escalate making out into fucking her. Works every time if you can make it to kissing in a private setting.
>Be wagekek retail worker at work a week ago
>Help a low 7/10 blonde with something
>make jokes here and there because muh starting social
>get her to laugh and smile
>shes smiling at me when she swiped her card
>I point out that her card was upside down
>she goes into spaghetti overdrive
>she grabs the pen to sign and drops it, fumbles to pick it up, then dropped it again
>her face is red as fuck
>hand her the receipt and she does a 360 and speed walks away
More of a autistic grill story than mirin, but that's all I have
>>35243854
The blow job scene will be a perfect ice breaker
>be out last night with my homie going to pick up our other best friend from a Christmas party at this bar
>he's outside with his boss and his boss's girl talking
>Talk to her for about 5 seconds and all of the sudden she puts her arm around me and she's snuggling into me saying how she wants to party with me tonight
>my friends boss starts getting mad (he was a 5'6 manlet)
>she mouths sorry maybe next time and winks at me
>tfw I would have c.u.c.k.e.d. my friends boss but didn't want the trouble
Same night I fucked this sexy bish I met at a party earlier in the month and she couldn't get enough of my chest. I swear to god I have gyno too and am very dyel
I'm just lucky (and 6'1 with decent face and confidence)
>>35243895
>all of the sudden
kill yourself
>>35242629
I don't understand this image but I enjoy red heads
>leaving work
>manager has to check me out
>manager is latina
>as i go to take off my sweater my tshirt gets pulled off a bit exposing my chest and abs
>manager screams to everyone that im giving a strip show
>tells all the girls to come over right away
>i jokingly say i would only give one at the Christmas party
>her jaw drops and she stammers that she'll have to see about that
>6'2
>190
lifting for 3 years but injuries kill lifting stats, still in the 1000lb club tho
this was just the most recent miring story, i have more but i dont care like sharing them tonight
>in first aid class
>we're re-enacting how we'd react when someone goes into anaphylactic shock
>get partnered up with qt, she plays victim
>we finished, she was on the floor so I helped her up
>I pulled her up really fast, she squeeled and said "omg wow you're so strong"
>"wow look at your muscles"
>then we sit back in our seats and she starts talking about my muscles with 2 other girls
>she then gave me look down and then caught her mirin my arms
>she then gave me a blank stare and then a smile and looked away really fast
Was the first blatant mire in a while desu, felt great
Not sure if I should go for it since i feel weird shitting where I eat
In the gym..
>people telling me I look good
>catch grills looking at me
>people coming up to me mirin my squat depth
>a grill likes me
>someone told me I had 19 inch arms and I told him their only 15 1/2 inches.
>>35243977
All of this happened this month btw.
>>35243899
Y u mad
>Tfw a girl shouts I'm cute from a car
Decided on no number tho
>>35243956
Go for it fagit
>>35243799
Fucking kek
>>35243859
Lol triggered
>be me
>have qt womanlet gf that bounces a lot during sex
>tells me I look hot af
>say she's way hotter
>she tells me a bunch of chicks she knows have been eyeing me up
>tell her that It doesn't matter because I only have eyes for her
>fuck
Feels good mang
>skype friend from college
>"wow ur lookin good m8"
>y-you too
I'll take what I can get
>>35244201
Samefagging this hard should be illegal.
>>35242629
>go on Facebook
>"random girl wants to be your friend"
>click accept because I always accept any friend I can get
>start getting messages
>"hiiiii"
>"hi *blushing emoji"
>"I just wanted you to know I think you have an attractive body and you're perfect"
What should I do bros? Apparently this girl goes to school in Miami but lives in my area. im insanely scepticle about her existence too. Everytime I talk to her it seems like it's another person catfishing me and all her Facebook pics are questionable.
>>35243854
> 20% bf
There's no way she didn't notice that you're a justbulking fat fuck but for some reason she doesn't seem to care. Stop at 15% next time
>>35244430
Tell her she should come over and compare perfect bodies. If she doesn't look how she said then tell her to leave. Easy as that.
>>35243859
>most extreme shitposters
>>35243799
underrated post
>>35243881
it is wagekek not kek friend
> in coffee shop today studying for tomorrows final.
> chat up the barista, think she's starting to like me, kinda wanna ask her out to watch "hateful eight" next week.
> sit back down occasionally see some grills looking over
> "whatever back to studying"
> When I'm leaving some highschool girl comes up to me and hands me a paper with her number on it.
> TFW i don't wanna go to jail
> TFW i can't seem to attract girls my age.
>qt highschool girl in my younger brothers year goes to same gym as me
>constantly make eye contact for unusually long periods of time
>body dysmorphia takes over, think theres no reason she'd be miring, must be imagining
>tells my brother 'anon i had no idea your older brother was so big till i saw him in a singlet, i love watching him workout when hes at the gym'
>mfw
>>35244504
You're a closet homosexual?
Makes sense
>>35244449
Already got a pic and told her to meet me. Gonna see how it plays out
>>35244534
Stay jelly nerd ;^)
>>35244470
>what are word filters, but just for you
W a g e c u c k :^)
>>35243870
What do I do with her after? Should I kick her out?
>>35243945
> shit which never happened
>>35244496
Pic of you?
>>35244595
lol
>>35242629
> girl at work comments on how big my arms are, flex my forearm for her and she feels me up
> she tries to do a pullup once at work and can't do I do a bunch and she tells me to stop showing off
> get her number the other day, text her to see when she's off
> no response
Is it over?
>>35243859
>how not to handle the bantz
>>35243881
360 degrees means she walked straight at you retard.
>>35242629
>be me
>be at party
>drink until 430 am with my boys until I can barely walk
>go downstairs to sleep on couch
>get woken up a 5:30 am by this cutie that rolled super late
>starts talking to me and saying that she thinks I'm cute
>I'm so drunk and tired that all I can say is "that's cool" "you're pretty" while nodding off
>fall asleep while talking to her
>wake up for work and realize that she cuddled with me and put her head on my chest
>that's cool
I got her number but I haven't had time to chill with her because of finals.
>>35245751
C'mon you cant be this new
>>35245751
>mfw I'm browsing /fit/ with people this new
>>35245687
This is pretty much how my dating life goes.
Oops, fucked it up by making contact.
>Get called August Waters or whatever that fag from that cancer film is called
Best I can get. At least girls lap that shit up so it's something
>>35242629
More of that gril pls
>have 8/10 qt squatbunny gf
>tells me all her friends are jellying her because I lift
feels good
also
>gf's jailbait little sister cutting my hair because why not
>bare upper body so hair doesn't stick to shirt
>constantly 'resting her arms' on my traps
lifting is the best
All lanklets
over 9000 hours in paint
>>35245901
saving...coz I-I'm 5'7
>>35242629
>Walking down the street
>Wearing a tank top
>Summer sun creating dat half-natty perfect downlightning
>Young girl is watering flowers outside a florist'
>She looks up and catches a glimpse of me
>Stares for a good two minutes until I've passed her
>Then she ealizes she's been completely drowning the flowers and pouring water all over the pavement and street for a while
I just laughed. Felt good though.
>>35245988
A gift, for all true kings of the gain.
Merry christmas anon
>>35246088
Y-you too...We're all gonna make it.
>>35234398
Hahaha ha endan?>>35243945
But do you look like you lift that's the real question>>35243945
>Literally bump into company director as I come round a corner at work
>She finds it hysterical for some reason, can't stop giggling
>"Anon, you're like a big, muscley ninja"
>"T-thanks"
>Another QT at work invites herself to the gym with me on a Friday night
>Relucantly agree to go
>Taking turns doing pull-ups
> Hear "..wow" from behind as I start my first set
Felt good to get some mires, but they are both crazy. Decided to avoid shitting where I eat on this one.
>>35245687
Depends.
How long has it been since you sent the message?
please tell me you didn't double text.
Are you sure she's single?
>>35246045
>tfw not living in a commercial for shampoo
>>35243956
>class
Unless you work there, from what I gather it's ok. Don't think schools shitting where you eat. I say go for it. I try to whenever I'm at mine and I'm at technical school
>>35244430
It's a catfish. You'll probably end up getting jumped if you go and meet her
>>35246556
You have obviously never fucked someone on a university/college class.
It's made the last two years a tad awkward. I've ended up sleeping with about 5 girls that have been in one of my seminars without realising.
Oh well, just need to find people off my course I guess.
>>35246187
>muscley ninja
manlet detected
>>35243799
kekelodeon
>do an internship in a pretty big company in my area for six months
>every year there is a big marathon in my city and all companies located nearby take part in it
>over 10.000 runners and countless companies every year
>everybody who wants to run the marathon gets time off on this day
>I'm training for a trip with my dad and uncle to climb Mount Kilimanjaro
>why not train also for the marathon which is a few weeks prior to our trip
>I work hard to maintain my muscle mass and improve my stamina
>nonetheless I lose 5 kg, most of it thankfully bodyfat
>first time ever I am this lean, face looks fantastic
>get compliments and catch more people mirin than ever
>marathon day
>my companies location has over 700 employees, only 6 are running the marathon
>all of them are top or middle management
>it is really hot on this day, 34 °C (or 93 °F for you ignorant people)
>at the end I'm in the top 500
>best result in the history of our company, I did not know this
>after I finished I waited for my colleages to finish
>I took my shirt of, poured a waterbottle over my head and just enjoyed the sun
>after the race we all were invited to a bbq by this guy and his wife (Deputy CFO I learned later)
>guys congratulated me on my run, I networked with them, had a delicious dinner, overall great day
>next week on tuesday (my last week at the company) I get looks everywhere I go
>my department 'celebrates' me, don't know why they ignored me on monday and suddenly talk about the marathon on tuesday
>well, some girl of the hr department was at the event and took pictures
>she wrote an article for our corporate blog, highlighted my result and used a photo of me where I'm shirtless, sweating, eyes closed and just enjoying the sun (great lighting by the way)
>my last week was the weirdest one at the company
>I felt embarassed, proud, blushed constantly when I was complimented, catched cuties mirin
>>35245754
>>35245764
>falling for this ez bait
this is amateur shit come on
>>35246794
Post pic
And don't try bulshitting me, I know you saved it
>>35245752
MFW that happened to me a couple of months ago but I told her to fuck right off because I hate nothing more than being woken up mid sleep.
She was super hot too.
>>35246794
Let's see that pic. N-no homo.
>>35244695
being this jelly
>>35243977
post cbt
>>35244430
reverse image search her pictures.
>>35244360
Relationship goals
>>35247151
>>35246846
Sorry guys, not gonna happen. I don't want anybody I know to find out I'm on here.
>>35247403
Well fuck your ass with broken glass then. Thanks for nothing.
>>35247452
I'm pretty sure you'll find other photos of shirtless, sweating men here. Good luck.
>>35247534
Yeah, but none of them have such a great story behind them as yours.
>>35245958
That's literally the worst webm I've ever seen.
>>35247403
The guy only wants a photo of your body, not the whole article.
>Inb4 lmao seems like he only lifts by normie standars
>Inb4 DYEL for /fit/ standards 100% accurate.
Literally happened an hour ago.
>writing 8 am final exam
>girl in sweatpants sneezes and looks in my general direction
>say "bless you" and proceed to bomb the exam.
How badly did she want the D /fit/?
>in a GED class because I'm a failure of a person
>sitting at a table of niggers and single mothers
>they start discussing fitness and how they all totally used to have abs
>staring out of a window quietly because autism
>wearing an old t-shirt form my dyel days that makes me look joocy as fuck
>they all turn to me expecting me to chime in
>mfw
> ask a girl out to prom/ball/whatever it's called
> she's really excited, invites me over to watch a movie at her place
> skip forward three weeks, we sleep together every other night
> kiss and fuck allot
> "I love it when you're on top of me and I can hold you"
> your shoulders and back are so broad
> the dyel for /fit/'s standard
> have never even been with a girl before
Feels great
>one downside
> somehow I can't reach orgasm and go flaccid after a while
Does anyone have experience with this?
>>35248383
you got the gays, sorry brah, maybe try sucking dick and see how that works for you.
>>35243799
BTFO
>>35243854
time it so the moment he bursts through the door you shove your first up the wisdom hole
>>35243799
TOP KEK
>>35247452
nice escalation
>>35248383
Noporn breh. If you don't watch porn, just try to relax. It's nerves. Heavy breathing helps. And if you can do the natty lickaroo 'till she cums, you'll be off the hook preformance-wise. That sometimes helped me when i was nervous. The fear of not pleasing her can sometimes be a big problem.
Just
R E L A X
E
L
A
X
and enjoy.
It really happens to everyone. If you can talk to her about you being nervous/ having preformance anxiety, shit probably gets better instantly.
THESE cringe stories HAHAHAHA
MOM LOOK AT my 10 inch biceps, good son. Mirin faggots son lmao
>>35249243
Atleast I like myself, roidfag.
>>35249265
>atleast
>i like myself
keep telling that yourself faggot. lmao
>>35249296
Where from, Mas?
>> Just out of DYEL mode
>> Go swimming after not training for 3 years (ex National swimmer)
>> Old lifeguarding workmate comes over, asks how I've been
>> Notes how I look bigger
>> New 8/10 tanned grill lifeguard keeps looking over as I prep to dive
>> Keeps taking glances at me as I use poolside shower (she had to make an effort to look around the corner)
>> On way out said my goodbyes to old workmates
>> Said I'd be back next week and she smiled at me before I left
A...am I making it brahs?
>>35245751
It's a meme, you dip!
>>35249439
WOW THANKS FRIEND CANT WAIT TO SEE THIS IN THE HILARIOUS HUMOR THREADS ON /FIT/
lmaoing at your life
>>35245751
This has to be b8. That reaction pic is too money for anyone this new to be using.
>>35249461
>my life
>it takes one minute to slap two posts together in paint
>how fucking long do you think it takes?
>>35249516
then you have to post it in the funnies thread and wait for replies, am i wrong, fag?
lmaoing at your life
>>35249533
I don't post on the funnies threads. I just cap shit for posterity and hold onto all the caps as if they're a journal that I can go through to relive 4chan experiences. You can just sort by date created and bam, free 4chan journal of caps. I don't really expect you to understand or do anything besides shitpost in response to this, but understand that I can sleep at night knowing that some shitposter on /fit/ wanted to try to one-up me via shitposting.
>>35249583
wow, i'm sorry for making false assumptions
not lmaoing anymore
here is a cool phone wallpaper 4 u
>>35249583
>>35249616
Capped.
>>35244496
just do it, worst case scenario you end up getting some plumbing laid out by Jamal in 9 by 12 cell.
>>35249616
For the record, >>35249650 wasn't me but... interesting play 3rd party anon, interesting play. Wallpaper accepted. Here's a different wallpaper featuring a leaf.
>>35249583
Lol triggered.
Mind if I post this on r/4chan?
>>35249462
You're fucking new if you've never heard that shit. Fucking cookie cutter porn addict
>>35249674
Post the cap or my response to someone lmao'ing at my life?
lmaoing at this thread
>>35249243
when did /fit trips like tinytrip turned to this kind of edgy faggots? I am glad I don't know you in real life, your personality must suck dick
>>35248536
This tbqh lad
>>35248383
focus on that high test thigh/hip movement she does when you thrust deep inside her.
used to have same problem now and then, but after starting to focus on that.... hnnng errytiem
>>35244496
>mfw legal age in my country is 13
truly freedom is great
>>35249393
No you have to stick it in her ass to make it
>>35246805
>Implying his reply wasn't bait
And you feel for it like a limp dick faggot
>>35246794
What was your time? I assume sub 3 if it is the company record. Anyway great for a first marathon.
>>35250094
>I love raping kids. Thank god for my nationality.
>>35245751
Fu-uck.
Pls be b8. Pretty pls.
![OLznewZ[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/VnZJCt9.jpg "OLznewZ[1].jpg")
>>35245846
![DKa23BC[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/LQsomXT.jpg "DKa23BC[1].jpg")
>>35250795
>>35243761
I used to work with a girl who lost her spaghetti when taking an order for a customer. She has been working longer there than I have. Had to take their order. Went to the back sometime afterwords and she was crying.
>>35243799
>>look up
>>some really short guy
yea because this even makes sense
![MMb91ZC[1].gif](https://i.imgur.com/xpy7KUr.gif "MMb91ZC[1].gif")
>>35250818
>>35249243
>>35249296
oh look, the perma rage roid faggot is here
>>35243895
>/r/thathappened
kinda shit but first mire i've gotten
>be dling 445lb
>resting between sets, sitting down playing on phone
>guy from class comes over, small talk
>he looks at the bar and says 'wow who's the gorilla doing that?'
it's a university gym so anything over 4pl8 is impressive, regardless of the lift tbrh
>go to get my hair trimmed
>QT shamppooing my hair beforehand is a solid 9.5/10
>ahhh yehhh son
>"omg your hair is so pretty!"
>nod in approval
>out of no where she offers to trim my nails
>fuck it, might as well while I'm here
>she constantly looks up and makes eye contact
>"you're so cute!"
>man, I might actually get laid here
>finishes up and runs her soft feminine hands through my hair
>she says "do you want a treat!?"
>oh fuck boys here it comes
>she hands me a scooby snack
>tfw I gobble it up quick as fuck because I'm German Shepherd at the groomers
>>35252053
>>35245901
I'll admit I'm knew
Can anyone explain what a manlet is what these numbers mean? My country uses the metric system.
>>35252053
you mother fucker
>>35252053
>>35252053
topkek
>>35245751
the newfags are among us... browsing this very thread
>>35252053
kek
>>35252053
best itt
>>35252053
oh you
>in grocery store in a town close to where I used to go to my father's
>picking up some chicken breast for a hiking trip
>speak of the devil
>dear ole dad is picking up some ketchup and other stuff
>sees me and stops in his tracks
>walks over like he's about to start something
>stops a few feet away and sizes me up
>it's been about 6 years since he disowned me
>I'm about 2 inches taller and have about 30lbs of muscle on him now
>"gotten big since I last saw you."
>waited a moment thinking of something to say, but instead just said.
"yeah."
>awkward moment of the two of us glaring into each others eyes
>couldn't cut the tension with a sword it was so thick
>decide it's best to move on and get back to my friends who were waiting back at camp
"goodbye."
>just walked away, no trouble, no fuss
>realize later back at camp that he gave me the first and only compliment I've ever gotten from him.
>feels surreal
>>35254282
Why did he disown you?
Also those are pretty heavy feels there man.
>>35243945
Sorry but im 6 foot and over 50 lbs your senior no way this happened!
>>35242629
An older woman who was working out with her husband winked at me today because i have missing fingers and i didnt let that stop me from 15 lb db presses x 100
>>35254502
never saw eye to eye, he never wanted me and usually expressed it through yelling or subtle insults, could never do anything right in his eyes. Sometimes I'd get beatings here and there, but I'd never do anything about it.
just so many fucking things until I went to jail for some bullshit statutory rape charge, and then he accused me of molesting my three 6-10yr old sisters. I blew up at him, and everything just came apart at the seams when we started throwing punches. neither one of us won, but before I walked out the door he told me never to contact or come around again. So, I didn't, and I've been a hundred fold happier since then.
>>35254538
helps if you weren't fat sempai.
or are you calling bs on my lifts
>>35254614
> went to jail for some bullshit statutory rape charge
What did you do anon?
>>35254699
I second this
>>35254699
had sex with a 13yr old when I was 17. I honestly didn't know she was 13, and it didn't help matters that her folks were very close to the county DA.
just wrong time wrong place I guess.
>>35254636
Haha sorry anon this was supposed to be a fedora memer joke, i respect your lifts and who you are as a person!
>>35250833
MANLET DETECTED
>>35254734
sounds completely not like bullshit
>>35254734
>wrong time wrong place I guess
probably a little closer to 'wrong fucking a 13 year old'. take ownership of your mistakes
>>35254743
>th th thanks sempai
>>35254767
Dude he was 17 im 22 and i dont know what a 13 y.o looks like
>>35254758
believe what you want, anon. all I know now is that I can't vote now.
>>35254767
it could have happened to anyone, she didn't look 13 and I didn't ask.
>>35254778
>>35254786
>it's not my fault i didn't know and didn't ask
>>35249851
It's not just his personality that sucks dick. Boosh!
>>35254805
fine, it was my fault. I didn't ask, I didn't know. happy? but she still willingly had sex with me and then her parents interrogated her about why she had left to go to a party with alcohol.
she didn't run out and cry rape. her parents did.
>>35254838
that's exactly how statutory works
>>35254772
i was just secretly hoping that refering to yourself as greater weight as your "senior" would catch on as a meme because its so retarded it sounds believable
>>35254845
this.
Do you know how easy it is to fuck 18 yo girls?
Imagine what would happen if anybody could fuck 13 yo girls.
>>35244430
cant you see how old a persons fb is and how much friends she got?
that should be indicators
>>35244445
>women find you attractive but you need to keep your body fat lower for me
Go catch AIDS fagboy
This happened last Friday
>At friend's house because of Uni reunion
>I'm wearing my gym hoodie because its cold outside and it was all I had in my car at that moment
>We're all talking when a group of girls arrive
>Haven't seen them about a month ago
>So I greet everyone and I'm greeting the last one and as we great each other with a friendly cheek kiss she places her hand on my arm
>Immediately she says something along the lines of "Wow Anon you'reyou're getting bigger, that gym workout is really paying off"
>Thanks, I'm really working hard
>Here a friend of mine agree saying how skinny I was in school and how I have changed
>MFW they all agree I am getting bigger.
Thanks /fit/ we're all gonna make it brahs.
>>35248383
Do you have foreskin ? If not, that's the reason why.
>>35245752
>drink until 430
Not gonna make it.
>Out of town for the week on a work trip
>Literally one day of work in the week
>They have me posted up in a decent hotel with a great view
>Hit the pubs one night with my colleague
>Get back to the hotel
>Decide to hit the hotel bar because it's a nice night
>Drink a few beers at a window table watching the light on the harbor an listening to music cause fuck it, why not?
>8/10 girl keeps looking in my direction
>Looking at me or the harbor
>I keep looking at her and smiling because I'm drunk enough that I don't care about creeping
>Have to piss, get up to go to the washroom
>She follows me to the lobby
>"I saw you at breakfast this morning"
>"Oh, I didn't see you"
>Hands my a piece of paper
>"See you later" giggles
>It's her room number
>Go back to the bar, finish my beer, order another
>Fuck the shit outta her an hour later
d-did I make it?
>Be this past Saturday night at local college bar/club
>With friend who just got of a 5 year relationship
>Free drinks till midnight so he is downing them like water
>Bar is packed but only a handful of people standing around on the dancefloor
>Attempt to teach heartbroken friend how to dance (been working on my toprock a lot)
>Solid 7/10 dancer notices my attempts to teach my friend
>Start dancing with her for 30 minutue~, her ass all over my dick
>Talk to her outside for a bit, flirting commences, turns out she just turned 18 and is still in high school
>Comments that I could easily be a stripper and grabs a handful of my ass
>Start making out with her but pull away when she tries to go in for more, she's about it
>Friend disappears and just assume he's doing his own shit
>2am rolls around and can't take girl home because friend is vomitting everywhere at my car and has no way home
I got her number and she is DTF. I plan on taking her out this weekend but unsure if I should wine and dine her or flat out rail her. For some reason I feel conflicted to fuck an 18 year old in high school because I'm 22 and going in to graduate school but that's probably the last of my beta reflexes leaving me. The last thing I needed for social gains was learning how to dance and girls eat that shit up. Get some basic top rock down and you're good to go as long as you have good facial aesthetics.
Turning this into a feels thread
>meet this extremely cute girl in class
>realize we share 3 classes together and will have more classes together since we're in the same program
>we hit it off and study together for many of the tests, spending hours around one another
>she always sits very close to me and stares into my eyes a lot, complimenting me all the time
>we text some outside of class but I never know what to say
>realize she's probably waiting for me to make a move
>can't because I live 50 minutes away from campus with my parents
>she is going home for Christmas break and will be an hour and 45 minutes away
>perpetually cock-blocked by my lack of social skills and money
Just kill me. If I had my own place in the city, I'd invite her over for a meal (I know how to cook pretty well) and do some good dates but I don't. I don't know any of the bars in the city and I don't know where to invite her out to. I feel stuck.
>>35255121
Hotel date
You'll come off as adventurous or creepy
Best case scenario you fuck her for hours
>>35255121
the pain of regret is going to be 100x worse than the pain of asking her out and seeing what could happen
>>35245751
trolls trolling trolls
>>35255121
just do something simple senpai, don't overcomplicate things. have a nice simple date then maybe go to her place or something
>>35255090
you were bboying at a college bar and landed an 18 year old. why does this sound like fantasy
Not much but happened recently
>go to closest "large" mall to my college town with some of my bros
>Just fucking around on a boring weekend
>I split up, go grab a smoothie from OJ
>Waiting for my friends to meet up with me
>Large girl, about 18 or a highschool senior comes up to me
>"u-uh I w-was supposed to tell you that you're, um, really attractive"
>Caught off guard by this
>"haha oh, thanks..."
>she runs off to her friend before I could even finish a sentence
>8/10 blonde qt made her larger friend go and tell me this
>tfw I already have a gf and those girls looked underage.
>get to gym
>stretching
>out of nowhere this 5'0 even girl comes and starts doing some ab work on the floor near me
>I'm looking straight ahead so not really looking at her
>for some reason she gets on that hyperextenion machine thing (the one where your knees are braced and you lean forward so your ass is just there in the air)
>her ass is literally in my face now but I was here first so I don't even move
>go start squatting and she starts squatting
>every time I am resting I can see her looking at me
Fuck I would break this bitch in half if she gave me the chance.
>still squatting when girl is on leg press next to me
>8/10 wearing a loose tank top with a sports bra underneath
>notice lately she been staying super super late to the point of the gym closing just talking to people (think sometimes wrong at her home so she doesn't want to go home but that's just an opinion)
>racking some weights when we catch eyes, I smile and she double takes while I turn away (I've never talked ot her so must have thrown her off)
>entire time now she is mirin or looking between her legpress sets
>the squat is next to a corner
>as I walk to turn the corner to get some weights from the legpress machine I bump into her accidently
>it was pretty full force so she starts staggering back
>I catch her and ask if she's ok , she says yes
>brain freeze since she's a qt and I don't know what to do
>realize my hand is under her loose tank top and on her lower back
>freak and back up
>entire time afterwards she keeps looking my way
Came home alone so not like it matters though
>>35255524
>he literally had the movieesque "caught the flustered girl falling back time frozen looking into each others' eyes" and he didnt capitalize on it
hope you enjoyed it because it'll never happen again
>>35255090
how did you learn to dance? classes or youtube or what?
>>35255570
well, time to change gyms and start new.
>>35248137
Lel good chuckle
>>35255081
goddamn i cant imagine how your life must be if getting laid is that easy
mad jelly
>>35255524
Next time you're around her say the words "I'm gonna get some dinner after this. You should join me" and cook something like baked broccoli, cauliflower, and carrots slated and covered in olive oil after done and some chicken. Then, you pick a show like The Office and start fingering her shitoris.
>>35244470
Idiot
>>35242629
>is that Michael Sheen???
>>35249533
>Getting this mad
Must be legit shit m8
>>35255081
>8/10 gives you her room without any interaction
>>35244470
Kek
>>35255081
I think this story is true, right up to
>she follows me to the lobby
>>35254767
I lost my virginity to a girl who just turned 15 when I was 17. 13-17 is a bit strange, but if the girl is well developed and lying about her age it's quite possible.
>>35254743
best laugh all day
>>35243881
>2015
>still signing for CC purchases instead of using PIN
Amerikek
>>35242629
>be me
>out of gym for 5 days because sinus infection
>looking lean
>first day back, chest day
>take 3 scoops of pre workout
>(4 SCOOPS CMON)
>have epic workout
>dem contractions
>pumped to the gills
>take post workout snapchat showing off upper body
next day
>wake up with raging hard-on
>take to snapchat to fap to some sluts
>end up fapping to my long time crush
>dat beautiful face
>hnnnnngggg
>suddenly get notification that shes typing to me
>"oh fuck what have i done???"
>open message
>"anon you have a nice body *cute bashful emoji*"
>still mid-fap
>HNNNGGGGGGGGG
i couldnt make this shit up if i tried
feels like a got damn love movie
how should i ask her out?
>back in town from school
>get some free trial at a nearby gym since I'm a cheap asshole
>see a shorter built guy who strikes me as gay
>dude is a legit bear, has huge legs, a beard, and is all around gay-/fit/'s dream
>dude keeps looking at me intensely since I'm tall and ottermode
>try to avoid eye-contact as much as possible and constantly move whenever he comes to wherever I am
>he eventually leaves and before he leaves he gives me a nod through the mirror
I value the tightness of my butthole. Please help me, /fit/
>>35256329
reply with a dick pic
>>35256329
send back a snap in your best lighting with a full pump saying "oh yeah?" or someshit and watch her become putty in your hands,
>>35256329
post bod
>>35256376
no because i post in cbts
>>35256370
ive got her number, i just need tips on how to ask her on a first date.
im gonna ask her regardless, but would like some advice so i hopefully dont sound autistic
>be me
>seeing new girl
>hanging out one night
>convinves me to take a 'couple picture'
>reluctantly agree
>sends it to all her friends
>literally every reply is about how great I look
feels so good man.
>>35256435
>>35256384
nigga post bod
>>35256441
u post bod too
>>35252053
>>35242629
>>35243761
>>35243799
>be me, been going to gym for ~3 months
>made some sick gains (dbol only cycle--test is for pussies)
>get haircut
>visit senpai
>sunny day
>cousin (15) exclaims "pecs" and feels my chest for 10-20 seconds
>asks if I've been working out
>flex arm "you tell me"
>"oh my god"
>holds my arm as we walk along street with her friend later that day
>touches my abs at dinner
>"solid"
>mfw
>>35255090
hike and spike
>>35256355
You can always suck the d
>not having sex with an asthetic person
>ISHYGDDT
>>35256444
since you got trips i just took this for you
i have no pump, shit frontal lighting and its 3am so pls no bully
>>35256533
lookin good brah,
routine?
natty?
>>35256533
You look great
>>35256553
>>35256566
wow fellas ill be got damned, thank you.
routine:
-back
-chest
-legs (heavy)
-shoulders
-arms
-abs/ cardio/ lagging muscle group day
-legs (more variance & accessory work)
and all natural
>>35256521
Don't do it anon
>>35256600
Sups?
>>35256600
you made it brah, what do you do for shoulders?
>>35256624
you mean dubs?
>>35256629
No I mean supplements
>>35256624
i do a pre/ post workout and daily multivitamin.
pre workout has been dyno but im jumping around from brand to brand seeing whats out there
post is ON gold standard whey (always mocha flavor) my man!
>beginning of semester
>in orchestra club
>we decided to do https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vg_ejO1M0rY
>no one wants first violin solo
>I offer to fill the seat
>friend joking said "No way, anon's way too buff to play this."
>we laugh
>time for the concert
>made sure I didn't hit shoulders/arms that week
>nailed the concerto
>audience and orchestra members mirin'
>tfw violas fucked it all up
>>35256628
the first time someone has said that to me
>was not expecting these good feels
>breh
i just worked shoulders today, i did:
-2 sets of arnold press
-4 sets of dumbbell shoulder press (seated)
-4 sets OHP
-4 sets of rear delt flys with cables
-4 sets of dumbbell shrugs (chest & stomach on 45 degree bench)
-4 sets of dumbbell flys (chest & stomach on 45 degree bench)
hope that last part makes sense. its like if you were to do an incline bench press, except youre turned around laying on it with your stomach
cheers my nigga
>>35243956
>All-boys school
>First aid class
>Teacher is a ham planet of some magnitude
>"Now we will practice the recovery position. Anon, lie on the floor please."
>Classmates put me in the recovery position
>Involuntary boner.exe
>Everyone notices
Thanks for dragging that up.
>>35252075
The first number is metres and the second is decimetres.
>>35244467
Is there any logical reason why you would fucking say that post is underrated? Has anybody expressed any kind of dissatisfaction or criticism at all against it? Are you delusional? Are you reading replies that are nonexistant? Maybe you come from communities with voting systems, but there is literally no way that you could know what other people think of that post you just replied to here. Maybe it's psychological. Maybe it's your own post you're replying to, like a 12 year old fucktard liking his own facebook posts thinking his swelling autism is going unnoticed. Maybe your self esteem depends on you tricking yourself into thinking someone out there thinks your post is worth something. Or maybe you are just a retard, the worst kind of retard, the one who thinks he's smart, the one who thinks he's the only one to have gotten the joke, to have understood the post. Well, guess what, faggot, that post is by no definition underrated so why don't you do the world a favour and go check out what the bottom of your toilet smells like?
>>35256435
post bod pussy
also kekd at ur .png
>>35256832
>pretending to be too stupid to even understand the counterarguments against my position means I win XD
>>35245751
Reported. Stop using that ugly reaction pic too.
>>35255570
i once had the "riding bus with girl, bus stops and girl literally falls into your lap moment"
she excused it, and i said no thing, but nothing more
>>35252053
ayy
it's shit like this that I like
>>35256364
lmfao
>>35256999
Not even following your "argument", but you just made yourself look like an ass and immediately lost any discussion you were having.
>worked at McDonald's for like a month and a random dude gives me this napkin. the guy that hired me grazes my butt and dick often
>first time at a club, leaning over a rail, say whatsup to a random group and a guy makes conversation with me and squeezes my bicep
>sitting waiting in line a few times and a guy sits next to me so our legs are touching, move away, he moves closer
>walking past a group of people, the only one that makes eye contact with me is a dude. I look away
>I'm walking down the street and some normal looking guy my age says something about having sex with me
>grandpa glaces at my crotch while I'm wearing sweats without boxers and makes a dick comment
I've had girls mirin too but this is what sticks out
>>35257194
give gramps the d
>>35257194
>>grandpa glaces at my crotch while I'm wearing sweats without boxers and makes a dick comment
I think I found your problem, anon. You're clearly engaging in activities that invite these comments.
>be me
>wearing translucent mesh pants
>forgot underwear that day because who has time
>guy comments on my dick
>why do all these faggots want my dick so bad?
Stop inviting these behaviors.
>>35243854
Whap out your cock and yell, "HERE'S JOHNNY!" If she doesn't start sucking then chase her around the house.
>can't leave clubs without having some drunk girl squeezing my arm or touching my chest or some shit
>when i wear fitted clothing people always mirin, girls stare and guys normally whisper behind my back like little kids
>too many mirin stories to pick just one from
>i'm barely ottermode
what the fuck. makes me wonder how autistic/ugly /fit/ must be if you guys can make great gains yet get no recognition from women.
>>35256435
>>35246045
Summer sun. It's December faggot
>>35257528
post face faggot then lets see who the ugly cunt is (probs /fit/ still though desu)
>be at work one day after having worked my ass off during a two week holiday
>casual as fuck day because optional work day
>of course I'm working, I need the money
>t shirt, shorts, pumas
>"anon, did you match your shoes and shorts on purpose?"
>this is the day I've been waiting for
>"why yes I did, the color palette of the puma track shoes both matches and complements the running shorts. My taste is very refined"
>"oh anon my pussy is so wet"
>we fuck
>cowgirl in the break room
>"you've been hitting chest haven't you, anon?"
>"yes"
Mired for days from this bitch
>be'th at thy gym'eth of thy gains
>hot'eth babeth of thy brazilian gospel descends from thy holiest of heavens to deadlift
>her buttocks so smoothly round and her skin smooth as silk
>thou muster thy courage to pronounce to his fairest lady "Can I use the mat after you?"
>thy harpy soothes with songs of sirens
>cummeth in thy shorts
>be est thine turn to deadlift
>raging from thee erection
>i muster a 2plateth and 1/4 of the gods
>my sword erect through my pants
>i look through the magical mirror to see young qt gaping at me
>thoust young qt nibbles thine lip in excitement
>my grip of the titans fails me
>thy broiled meat spoiled in my pantaloon
>barbell whippeth against my dicketh
>young qt is laughs and deserts thou heart
my girlfriend's dad told me i had a 'real presence' the other day. he said i immediately became the focus of any room i walked into, and that people gravitated to my natural authority.
not directly related to my muscular size but it's still one of my favourite mires of all time.
>>35244430
Don't reply back and block
>>35257906
>my grip of the titans fails me
why are you deadlifting in full plate armor pleb ?
>>35255090
You kinda bailed on your bro who sounds like he needed some support
>>35257977
he sounds like total faggot if you ask me
>>35258017
>implying its not helping
>>35255121
fgt
This happened this weekend, Sunday if memory serves me right
>Out with an old femanon friend of mine
>There was some sex some years ago but we lost touch over the years.
>First contact after 5 years so
>We go out for a coffee at around 19.00
>At 20.30 she had to be like a givetonfuck far place to meet some fellow college femanon for some shitty project of theirs
>While I lifrt my supermanly irish coffee she notices the outline of my bicep and tricep
>Wow anon, you really have gotten serious with working out! You've put on some mass.
>She proceeds to caress my arms and bite my bicep
>All of this while we are at the cafe
>WhyDoIFeelSoUncomfortable.avi
>On the way back we made out for quite some time.
>She wouldn't stop stroking my dick while I drove her back
>FeelsGoodMane
I'm not even close to DYEL mode. Am I making it?
>>35255524
>if she gave me the chance
thats literally what she was doing. jesus
>>35258138
ninja edit
>She arrived to her meeting 2 hours late
>>35245896
those girls are such cockteases
and then you come off as a creep when you fuck them as soon as they turn 18. no fair man
>>35254282
>>couldn't cut the tension with a sword it was so thick
the phrase is that you could cut the tension with a butter knife. when something has a ton of tension, sublte changes can result in big results. having tension so think you couldn't even cut it with a sword means theres no fucking tension there.
>>35242629
>Today
>go to hospital to get bloodwork
>wear jacket over a t-shirt easier to get the sample
>get called in, nice nurse 7/10
>take off jacket
caughtyamirin.gif
>decent vascularity even if it's early morning and cold
>she start touching my veins and ask "what sport do you do?"
>i just hit the gym
>"wow, how much you lift?"
>enough
>she giggle, finish taking my sample
>say bye and go away
>>35244382
Yeah, that's just what we need, MORE LAWS
Fuck off, statist
>>35245751
ohboy..
>>35243761
>sodium isnt hitler
Back to reddit
And nugget macros suck you ugly non lifting fucking retard
>>35246603
kek
>>35258504
>>"wow, how much you lift?"
>>enough
So, you're done progressing at the gym?
>>35244504
Why do you wear a singlet fag boy?
