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Come on guys where my alphas at?
Gym Bully General /GBG/
Welcome to /gbg/ - Gym Bully General
For the purpose of becoming a better alpha at the gym
>Debo Edition
Tips, techniques, strategies, tactics to be alpha of your gym. Feel free to share stories or ask questions gym bully related.
Not really a bully but I accidentally got this guy banned from the gym.
>be me
>doing Madcow 5x5 at gym
>walking to free weights area and see this fat asian on the treadmill
>going at like 2.5 mph sucking wind like there's no tomorrow
>want to encourage him
>start to press up on the speed and incline
>he looks at me and says "n-no, stop...please"
>I say "use your words chubs. Please what?"
>he can't even get it out, he's breathing so hard
>at 9.0 mph he literally busts ass and falls off the back of the treadmill
>a couple of PTs walk over and ask what happened
>I say he was trying to impress those girls by running fast and I pointed to a couple of qt cardio bunnies
>he literally can't even get any words out he's breathing so hard can only say "h-he..." pointing at me
>I say I came over to try and help him
>PTs make him go to the office and kicked him out of the gym and made him cancel his membership
>also had to pay $250 for "damaging the the equipment" from his fall
>>35204290
>this
>things the actually happened
Pick one.
>>35204380
Fuck off dyel redditor.
Tips to be the ultimate gym bully/douche:
#1: Get there early and reserve all the machines with a towel like you're a Brit on holiday reserving sunbeds.
#2: Dont ask how many sets someone has left. Just stare then down until they feel awkward and leave. Lick your lips at the same time if this doesn't work on its own right away.
#3: Collect all the plates in the gym and pile them up in the corner of the gym and guard them like a dragon guarding its hoard of gold. Except you're hoarding gains.
#4: Play your shitting metal or rap music out your iphones speakers or better yet bring some portable bluetooth speakers. If anyone complains challenge them to a dance off. They'll be intimidated by your confidence and leave.
>>35204380
>>35204392
I agree with both of you.
>>35204290
Yeah like that actually happend faggot. I've read that pasta before
>>35204392
I didn't think reddit had green text so how can this be from reddit, you fucking mongoloid?
>>35204410
Shoo shoo gains dragon
>>35204380
>>35204420
Reddit.com/r/thathappened
Go back there dyel gains goblins. Get ye gone.
>>35204380
Big P gonna have fun with you boy
>>35204480
Legitimately didn't know that sub existed. Do you not realise 90% of memes actually originate on 4chan, anyway? Saying >thathappened is something I've seen being used on 4chan long before that sub even existed. So the fact you dont know that proves, in fact, you're a newfag and therefore probably also dyel.
You:
[_] Not served
[X] Served
>>35204503
>[X] Served
this again proves my point you pomp.
>>35204503
Fresh off the boat, from reddit, kid? heh I remember when I was just like you. Braindead. Lemme give you a tip so you can make it in this cyber sanctuary: never make jokes like that. You got no reputation here, you got no name, you got jackshit here. It's survival of the fittest and you ain't gonna survive long on 4chan by saying stupid jokes that your little hugbox cuntsucking reddit friends would upboat. None of that here. You don't upboat. You don't downboat. This ain't reddit, kid. This is 4chan. We have REAL intellectual discussion, something I don't think you're all that familiar with. You don't like it, you can hit the bricks on over to imgur, you daily show watching son of a bitch. I hope you don't tho. I hope you stay here and learn our ways. Things are different here, unlike any other place that the light of internet pop culture reaches. You can be anything here. Me ? heh, I'm an elite powerlifter.... this place.... this place has a lot to offer... heh you'll see, kid . . . that is if you can handle it...
>>35204503
you're a fuckin dweeb
it hurts so bad
>>35204503
Cringe. b2redditugodyel
>>35204592
I accidentally bullied this guy yesterday.
>in lockerroom post workout
>see this dyel asian who surprisingly isn't ashamed to be naked in shower
>he goes to shower, leaves white towel hanging on locker
>I go to take a glorious post workout shit
>don't like the feel of the rough TP my gym uses so grab asian's white towel
>wipe my ass with it
>hang now smelly dark brown towel back on his locker
>leave and go home
I didn't even realize I was bullying him until I was driving home. I kind of felt bad and want to apologize and explain to him how it was an accident but I haven't seen him since.
>>35204754
prolly killed himself
>>35204784
Meh idk. I thought asians liked that sort of thing desu.
>>35204417
Nothing gets past you
> Doing deadlifts in front of the squat rack because can't do anywhere else
> Swagfag comes over asking how many sets I have left
> He is wearing one of those gay hats with a sticker on them
> He's wearing tanktop while being dyel
> Tell him I just started and need 4 more sets (inb4 SS)
> Looks at me angerly, tells me I should just hand him the barbell as he needs it more then me
> I say excuse me?
> Proceeds to tell me in a more angerly voice that my form is wrong and he needs to do rows
> Tell him he can use the preset barbells that go up to 50kg, which should be more then enough for him
> Keeps calling me out on my form, proceeds to get even more angry, feel stares coming in
> Says he's tired sharing his barbell with newbies who don't even know how to lift
> Tell him that's golden coming from someone who can't even lift without taking 3 scoops of pre workout ( he had his shaker with him, could smell the tropical punch flavour from 2 yards away)
> Anger turns to shame, laughter everywhere
> He walks away, tail between the legs
Fucking faggot tried pulling this shit while half the gym was filled with people I've been lifting with for about 3 years now. What a retard.
feelsgoodman
WHO IS BIG P, WHY DOES HE PROTECT THE BONEYARD?
Me and my boys showed up to the boneyard to do some squats and there was this dyel asian kid on our rack squatting like 95lbs. We all approached him and he started to pack up all of his stuff but I stopped him and said "Oh nah it's okay bud, you can work in with us." Then I loaded up a couple of plates on each side, smirked and said "Better yet, why don't we work in with you??" He looked confused and nervous. I nodded at one of my boys and he loaded up 3 more plates on one side. I picked up the dyel kid and put him on the bar ass first on the other side (he weighs roughly 135lbs) and me and my bros took turns squatting him for reps. A couple of qt cardio bunnies walked by and were laughing their asses off watching him go up and down. He looked like he was actually getting a workout, he was sweating like crazy. Haven't seen him since.
Legitly got this asian dyel at the gym to wipe my ass for me.
>arrive at gym
>need to take a big shit before I lift
>activate bankai on toilet
>put on fake arm cast and sling
>hear someone in the lockerroom
>ask him to come over and explain to him that my arm is broken and I can't wipe my ass
>he reluctantly agrees
>does 10/10 job maybe he's done it before but he was still gagging the whole time from the smell
>afterwards thank him and put fake cast and sling back in locker
>say "you wipe me long time hahahaha thanks jackie chan I'll be back tomorrow you better be here"
Fuckin lol you should've seen his face
>>35205294
Based Big P.
>fag at my gym
>takes up all the equipment at the same time
>wears ear buds so he can ignore everyone
>leaves his water bottle and coffee cups all over the place
>farts constantly, like something died inside him
oh, wait. I have a home gym.
All you assholes would be banned from my Planet Fitness because we don't put up with lunks..
>>35206035
You want big muscle? You want me to turn your small muscle into big muscle?
>>35204410
>like you're a Brit on holiday reserving sunbeds
>Brit
bloody hell, is it just us that does this? do people notice? this will not do
>>35206004
So it was you all along? What a tweest!
>>35206004
If I wanted humor I'd just ask you what your one rep maxes are.
>>35204592
excellent
>>35204410
>#2: Dont ask how many sets someone has left. Just stare then down until they feel awkward and leave.
Some nigger bitch tried to pull this shit on me the other day, she was a huge gigantic cunt, I even offered to carry and bring her a different bar so she could do her shitty exercises but she said the trainer told her to train with that specific bar, she dismissed me when I told her all the oly bars are literally the same, after some time I just pulled out my phone and begin playing shitty android games till she got tired and left.
>>35204213
Gym bully masterrace reporting in. Run that bitch. I've been doing this social experiment to see who is alpha and who is beta in my gym. Turns out 99% of my gym is beta. What I'll do is I will purposely leave my weights on the bar and dumbbells on the floor after I'm done. I think I've had maybe only one or two wanna- be tough guys actually say something to me. Everyone else just deals with it. Some even rerack them for me. If this social experiment has taught me anything it's that most people are intimidated by authoritative figures and will do almost anything to avoid confrontation followed immediately by pain administrated by said authoritative figures.
>mfw I see beta dyels rerack my weights like the cockroaches they are.
>>35205579
lifting goals
>>35206099
>do people notice?
Yes we fucking notice
>>35204410
>>35206186
this does not make you alpha, just a cunt. people dont confront you because its not worth a confrontation, its not a direct challenge or insult to them, just slightly annoying. from someone that reracks, fuck you
> some dyel leaves his gear all over the squat rack
> goes to the bathroom for like two minutes
> take his shit out of his bag and throw it around
> find his phone, text his mom "fuck u bitch" then throw it across the gym
> it shatters lol
> see his chalk
> pour it into his water bottle
> he comes back
> starts stuttering
> 'h-have u seen m-my phone?"
> turns around and sees all the pieces everywhere
> takes his shit, crying his eyes out
> i'm laughing, curling 135 and staring him down
> he looks at me and says "YOU HAVE SELF-CONFIDENCE ISSUES!"
> i put down the bar and walk towards him and start to tell him that he can talk all tough right now but what would happen if Big P caught him using such disrespectful language
> he RUNS out
> never returns
lol i wonder what his mom said to him later
>>35206186
I also do that, because everyone does that in my gym, if you think you are special then you are really stupid.
>>35206113
Nothing funny about Big P maxes boy
>>35206266
Wrong. But here's a reply so you don't feel like you wasted your time trying to be cute.
>mfw there are people in these threads who couldn't recognize satire if it came up and fucked them in the arse
Go to a 24 hr gym. Only go after midnight because its empty and I have free roam. Walk in, 5-6 college runts in there having a good old time and a chick with them holding a baby. I put my coat in my cubby, plug some Slayer into the gym system, look at them, grab their keys, toss them outside, point to the door and say "out". They leave.
>>35206287
>See other people at the gym obviously smaller than you
>timetoprovehowalphaiam.jpg
>leave a pair of dumbells of floor after set
>yeah thats right guys, IM the one who left all the dumbells on the floor, IM SO ALPHAAA
hah, these threads are effing priceless.
>>35206369
Nice greentext. 2/10 for effort. Too bad this doesn't make anything I said any less true. Best to just fall in line with the rest of the dyels and pick up the weights like a the good little bitchboy you are.
>>35204503
you're under aged, aren't you, faggot?
>>35206369
this isn't beta, this is something else, jesus christ. watch and make sure you don't break a nail when you pick up those weights, nancy.
>>35206312
>gets fucked in the ass by dude
>its just satire m8 LMAOing at your dyel lyfe hahahaha no homo tho
>asian dyel using my rack for like 20 minutes to do his bitchboy 2pl8 squats
>goes to the bathroom and leaves his water bottle behind
>run over and open his water bottle and throw a load of my chalk in it
>pour some water on the bar
>he comes out, takes one sip and swallows hard looking disgusted
>looks around confused then packs all of his stuff up and walks out all fast
fuckin lol
>>35205072
But does your deadlift form suck?
>be lifting at night
>gym closes in 10 min
>dyel shitskin asks me for a spot on the bench
>think about just walking away but decided something better
>walk over
>he's lifting lmao0.5pl8
>he's trying for 5
>1
>2
>3
>.....
>bar stuck to his chest, not budging
>"good luck with that, kid"
>leave
>staff asks if anyone else was in the weight room
>I say no
Mfw I saw them turning off all the lights in the building and locking up as I drove away
>>35206580
>>35206580
>>35206580
>>35206580
>>35206580
because you poisoned him you fucking animal
>>35206980
ITT: Things that didin't happen vol. 59
>>35207031
>2015
>thinking any of these stories are real
>>35206186
I'm familiar with guys like this.
I use your weight to warm up and proceed to load more for working sets.
>>35204410
>>35205072
yeah man film yourself to see if there are any flaws in your form. I wouldn't say you're a bully. more of an antibully.
Also dude, you can smell it from ONLY two yards away? Your sense of smell is terrible.
>>35205294
current body, Big P? I wanna see those quads
>>35206186
You're not tough you're just a lazy faggot. You prob go to some suburban soccer mom gym, you'd get your teeth knocked out at my gym if people thought you were doing it purposely. But whatever helps you sleep kid
>>35207155
>>35207040
>being this new
>getting this mad
>being this dyel
Top kek. I don't even care if you're trolling, that shit is hilarious.
>>35207172
Sorry tough guy please dont leave your weights near me, you truly are the alpha male here
>>35204410
>like you're a Brit on holiday reserving sunbeds.
What you're describing is archetypal German behaviour. Brits may reserve sunbeds with towels, but Germans will get up early to do it.
>>35205072
>diddlylifting 5 sets
wew lad
>>35207195
It's pasta bruh
>>35207195
Glad you found your place cupcake.
I'm a pretty big bully at my gym. Everyone knows to do as they're told when I'm talking to them.
>Squatting on one of three platforms with a set of bumpers
>100 kg 3x5 like it's nothing
>DYEL skelly on the platform next to me walks over to my set of bumpers to take a 5 kg plate
>Tell him to go and use the technique plates from his own set of bumpers
>He actually does it, the absolute beta
>Benching 75 kg 3x5, pushing the limits of what's humanly possible
>Need to project some anger to get the last two sets
>Intimidate the next most swole guy in the gym to spot me
>'Hey could you spot me for five reps?'
>The guy is visibly quaking
>Stare furiously into his eyes while I bust out the set
>He wants to look away, but I bark at him to keep looking at me
>Finish the set
>'Thanks'
I think I scarred him for life.
>>35206113
Well meme'd
>>35206414
"Fuck you mom I'm not gonna clean my room AND I'm eating ice cream for dinner HAHA XD XD rawr"
>>35207479
With those stats it would be pitiful if you're the biggest guy in the gym.
>>35206980
sensational
>>35204410
huehuehuehue
There was this dyel asian kid who came in my gym with his mom even though he is like 19. This kid was sooooo small me and my bros thought it was just too funny but focused on our workout.
dyel asian kid seems like he's done his research, walks over to the free weights area to start doing squats. Lol yep the bar. I walked over and took the bar away from him. "You don't need this. This is for white people." The dyel asian was visibly shaking and I went over and got the tallest jump box I can find and place it in the middle of the free weight area. I told him to climb up on it and put his hands behind his head and stay like that until I say. Lol he fucking does it. Then I stuffed my sweaty gym towel in his mouth. I pantsed him and he flinched super hard but kept standing up there. I whispered in his ear "I own you." At that point almost everyone in the gym was laughing their ass off, even his mom.
I got his mom to take me to her house and fucked her on his bed. Then got her to drive me back to the gym and he's still fucking standing in the exact same spot, pants down and everything. Pretty sure his mom just left him there after dropping me off. I took a pic of us fucking on his bed and tagged him in it and sent him a message on Facebook that said he better make it his profile picture or I'm coming over. Lol he fucking does that too.
I didn't even realize I was bullying him until a few days later when it hit me. I felt really bad. I have been waiting for him to come back to the gym so I can explain to him how it was an accident but I haven't seen him since. Seen plenty of his mom though.
Is it bad that every time I see this kind of post, I imagine somebody throwing a 45 lb plate like a frisbee and hitting OP right in the center of the back while he's in the middle of a heavy squat?
I can't help it, I just imagine that scene in my head and I laugh and laugh and laugh. I just fucking laugh my ass off.
*WHOP*
"AAAAAH MY SPINE AAAH I CAN'T FEEL MY LEGS"
"We're sorry sir but you will never walk again"
pic related
>>35206099
m8 the Germans are the worst for it, they will get up at the crack of dawn to lay towels out
>>35207820
Reading some of these i literally imagined doing that if they had done this kind of stuff to me. Throwing 35/45 plates at their heads, pushing them forward or backward while they squat, push down on their bar while they're benching.
Then I realized I had just as many issues as they obviously do for even considering that.
>>35207820
>>35207899
Bullied when you were younger I'm guessing?
>beta dyel noobies constantly look at me in a non-homosexual way
>assume they're simply looking at what I do in order to see which exercises work, proper form and shit... I remember looking at big dudes when I began lifting because I knew jackshit
>whenever I catch one of those fragile man staring, I initiate death stare, while heavily chewing my gum, high as fuck on preworkout
>they immediately stare at the floor, the record for longest eye contact is probably half a second
>mfw thoze weaklings pieces of shit still look at me and what I do, but from a 50 meters safe distance
>mfw most of them waste their time with either terrible exercises or utterly disgusting down
>mfw I once helped this small skeleton for about 30mins, schooling him on how to lift and I could tell I totally made his day, he kept thanking me every 5 minutes
>but that was a long time ago...before I joined /gbg/ :^) fuck all those skinny niggas. This is MY gym and I run the show around here
>>35205072
>> Looks at me angerly
>angerly
lost my shit
>>35207746
laffin
>doing my squats warm up
>guy asks if I'm planning on using some 45 lb plates on the rack
>say no
>I actually was planning on using them, and he never knew
DEVILLISH
>>35207632
st-stop I'll b-bully you t-too
>>35204410
>like you're a Brit on holiday reserving sunbeds.
Exucse me, that's a German stereotype
>>35206187
>Undertale
not even once.
>>35204754
What kind of autistic faggot wipes his ass with a fucking towel?
>>35209066
I don't like the brand they use at the gym. Too rough.
I wiped dogshit on this guy one time and he turned around and was like "dude wtf??" and I said "I just wiped dogshit on your shirt, sorry bro."
r8/suggestions?
>>35207746
A L P H A
>walk in to gym
>see Big P with a grin on his face
>"you gotta look at this man"
>points at dyel kid struggling with lmao1pl8 bench
>say to P "just observe"
>go to dyel kid "YOU NEED SOME HELP" loud as fuck
>everyone stares at us, some cardio bunnis chuckled
>"o-o-okey if you want"
>"ill show you help kiddo"
>start pushing bar down
>dyel asian kid gets red and all sweaty
>lmao he passes out
>press down so hard that the bar bends
>go to manager "hey some asian kid bended your bar for a joke"
>manager is old school bodybuilder get furious
>runs to asian dyel
>"YOU LIKE BENDING THINGS EH? IM GONNA BEND YOU"
>drags asian to shower area
>me and Big P just go and talk to some broads
>manager comes out after 5 minutes
>he smells kinda weird kinda like shit
>"hey boys have a free protein drink on me"
>mfw i accidently spill it as one of the bunnies is trying to rush for my number
>mfw goodguy manager say "its nothing son, have another one"
Feels good mane
>>35204754
Damn now that's real fucking autism lol.
>>35209507
devilish, N E F A R I O U S if asian
top notch assertion f@m
>>35204213
this a thread for real stories?
>>35204592
this is great
>>35207924
i know these feels.
i fuckin hate it when i catch faggot niggas staring at me.
i hate when dudes stare at me period.
when i catch a dude staring at me, especially multiple times, i stare right back through them for extended periods of time and talk shit about them to my gym partner while doing it
>tfw when they get those feels that they know im looking at them and talking shit
>tfw too beta to keep eye contact with me
>tail between their legs
>>35210156
> lying on the internet
>>35209788
L M A O
M
A
O
>>35210218
this might be my new favorite picture haha
>>35210326
its a mandatory save breh
Who is Big P
>>35210383
can either be your best friend or worse nightmare
>>35210383
He and his boys runs the boneyard fool
Better scram before Big P smells fresh meat
>>35204417
And he would have gotten away with it, if it weren't for you meddling anon.
>>35204213
>>35204290
>>35204410
>>35205579
>>35206186
All these people seeing someone else actively trying to better themselves and decide to bully them thinking this is alpha.
It is degenerate and socially inept behavior. Kill yourselves.
>>35204503
I feel embarrassed for you. You're pathetic.
