>Go to gym with new gymbro.
>We're maxing out on bench.
>Pretend to struggle with 115.
>Second day plop 135 and knock out 4x12.
>Third day stack 225 and blow his mind.
>Asks me what's my secret.
>SS+GOMAD
>using freeweights
>don't re-rack them and leave them on the floor
> tell people I'm natty
> I'm actually on creatine
>be me
>age 14
>have a friend and we do sexual stuff, we suck eachother dicks and have pretend anal and such, like all boys do
>fast forward 2 years
>both 16
>we start going for it again
>he's hard as can be
>I can't get my dick up
>I tell him "maybe I grew out of it and you're gay"
>he starts questioning his sexuality
>bully him and call him a gay boy, he can't handle this
>year upon year he deteriorated, starts doing drugs, gay sex parties and meeting people to suck their dick
>23 now, he's full blown social outcast that'll suck you for a dollar and lives on benefits, has some STDs
I didn't tell him I jerked off before we started going for it at 16. I am in a LTR with a woman now
>>37823132
i dont even lift. I give advice in different threads.
3 years now and im not planning on stopping.
>>37824963
what the fuck?
>>37824909
D E V I L I S H
E
V
I
L
I
S
H
>>37824963
Lol your friend is such a fag
>>37824963
We need a /TTDH/ thread.
>have been secretly taking the barbell collars and hiding them in random lockers
>watch as employees struggle to figure out what the fuck is going on
>>37823169
Fuck off
>>37824909
M A D M A N
A
D
M
A
N
>pokemon GO comes out
>take pictures of cardio bunnies asses
>pretend I'm catching pokemon
they might think I'm autistic but not that I'm a pervert
>>37823132
you little bastard
>take a shit at gym toilets
>dont wash hands
>head back to freeweight area and continue workout
>>37824963
Not cool.
That's pretty fucked up, actually.
>>37824963
You should talk to him. That's fucking tragic.
>tfw stole 3k qorth of fitness equipment from 4different gyms
(Multiple bars, pl8s, cable attachments, bands, etc.
Kek i even took a piece of squat stands (just need the other piece)
Also stole one of those rogue crossfit bars (overpriced shit) from local cf gym
>tfw free home gym
>tell someone i got 3 sets
>but i got no sets left
>>37826975
FUCKING
D. E. M. O. N. I. C.
>>37826958
>Kek i even took a piece of squat stands (just need the other piece)
top kek
>>37826034
I'm actually going on a walk just to catch Pokémon in a bit... Hope I can find some nice grills too, gotta catch ém all.
>>37824963
If this is a joke, hilarious. Otherwise, fuck off faggot
>>37826958
How the fuq do you leave a gym with an olympic bar without people noticing
>>37823132
Oh my god OP I actually choked
Fucking D E V I L I S H
>>37827592
you knock out everyone in your way with it.
>>37826958
>>37827592
we had an awesome thread about this some years ago, I'll see if I can find screenshots
>>37826003
madman
>>37824963
Wtf?? You should apologize and tell him there's nothing wrong with being gay, cause even you were a fag with him at some point.
>>37826003
Audible kek!
>gym requires indoor shoes
>wear running shoes that look like indoor shoes because too lazy to bring 2 pairs
>stop at the door for 10 seconds to pretend I'm changing them for anyone watching from a distance
>First day at new gym
>ohp in squat rack
>>37824963
Perfect
>>37828387
where else would you ohp?
>>37824963
my fucking sides.
>>37828400
Literally anywhere. If you can OHP something then you can clear it off the floor
>>37828450
or you could just use a squat rack
>>37828481
Or a regular bench
>>37827592
>come in at closing time
>pretend you're doing your routine
>w8 till receptionist qt goes to check something in the office
>pickup whatever you can and be quick
>return to the gym and pretend nothing ever happened
>finish your fake routine and walk out
This is the best tactic for bigger stuff
Smaller stuff (pl8s, bands, attachments, etc.) can be loaded into your gym bag
I currently have subscriptions to 4 different gyms though (monthly passes)
When i feel like they've strictened their ""security"" i cancel my subscription
The cf gym has part in the open next to parking lot where thos crossfit retards do their exercises with tires and shit
I took 5 ivanko revolver pl8s there and wl competition barbell there
>tfw just need 1 more to have 3 pairs of 45s
Already have 300+lb of smaller pl8s from elsewhere
>>37828450
>If you can OHP something then you can clear it off the floor
I'd love to see you clean 225 off the floor you fucking DYEL
>>37828514
i'm laughing so fucking hard
>>come in at closing time
>>pretend you're doing your routine
>>w8 till receptionist qt goes to check something in the office
>>pickup whatever you can and be quick
>>return to the gym and pretend nothing ever happened
>>finish your fake routine and walk out
I know you're fucking trolling but why does this seem so believable? Like this could actually fuckin work unironically...
>>37828534
because you're forgetting that the next day when somebody notices something big missing they'd just check the lobby's security cameras and call the police
These threads are always so fucking cringe.
I sincerely hope none of you are this autistic.
>>37824963
>Like all boys do
Got some bad news anon
>>37828517
>he can't clear 225 off the floor
Laughingwhores.jpg
>>37828534
>>37828514
>>37827592
>>37826958
okay m8 heres what you do
>every night go to the power rack
>slowly disassemble it and replace the parts you take with various replacements made of wood (strong enough to hold steady until you've finished your project)
>do this until you have your own power rack at home
>there will be a perfectly build power rack left at the gym made of wood
no one will know the difference, trust me
>>37828546
>because you're forgetting that the next day when somebody notices something big missing they'd just check the lobby's security cameras and call the police
Well yeah it's a dumb idea if you're a normal human being who actually has a career/future/doing something with his life
But there's so many niggers who steal fucking copper pipes from houses or do all sorts of fucked up shit for <$100. Surely this would be more common and easier to pull off/get away with
>>37828552
sorry m8 idon't want to destroy my shoulders
>>37828517
I'd love to see you OHP 100 kg
>>37826003
>not shoving them up your ass to make some ass collars . not having the power in all conversations with people who use those collars knowing they have been up your ass . confirmed for not making it
>>37826003
>>37826594
implying I don't clean whatever I'm using first
>>37828677
Lince
>>37828585
>But there's so many niggers who steal fucking copper pipes from houses or do all sorts of fucked up shit for <$100. Surely this would be more common and easier to pull off/get away with
not really. houses and especially houses being torn down rarely have security cameras and copper pipes are stolen in the middle of the night with a mask on.
there isn't a single business in the world in the year 2016 that doesn't have a security camera at their entrance. you can't wear a skimask to a gym. also you've given your info or even a credit card to their system and are easily identifiable by your check-in time
>>37828771
Altitude training mask like crossfit retards wear.
>>37824963
>>37828771
>business in the world in the year 2016 that doesn't have a security camera at their entrance
E, moj nigeru...
Only better gyms have cameras here
The ones i go to are more like old style metroflex gyms from those early ronnie coleman videos with older equipment and rusty pl8s
Cf gym has cameras but not outside
You can take out platform and do c&j's and and all those crossfit snapperooni shit on outside
>>37828840
Also I live in a 3rd world country and decent power rack would cost me 1.5monthly salaries (at above average wage)
Thos stuff is considered luxury and overpriced to hell
>Only god can judge me
>>37828517
>ohp 225
>thinks a 225 clean (or power clean) is even remotely hard
>muh shoulders
>not knowing how to clean
We all know you can't press 2pl8, faggot. Your argument sounds totally absurd when you're strong enough to press 225, and you'd know it if you could.
You may get a better position if you don't need to clean it, and that's a totally fine excuse to use a rack, but what you're saying is bollocks.
kys
>>37828840
E nigeru nigeru pomirisi mi kuracu
>>37828948
This was the most passive aggressive post I've ever seen.
>>37828560
Hahaaha
>>37829111
How is that even passive, he literally called you a faggot and told you to kill yourself.
>>37823169
Not devilish. Just a garden variety asshole
>>37828948
You're a retard dude
Clean and jerking 225 without wrecking your shoulders is next to impossible if you're not a trained oly lifter.
>>37826958
> i even took a piece of squat stands
how the fuck
>>37825380
>>37826634
>>37826830
>>37827361
>>37828267
giant faggots kill yourselfs
>>37826594
Fuck you
>>37828517
>>37828585
>>37829263
please be trolling
>>37827592
I smuggled mine up my ass
>>37824963
Would have been funnier if you were in a LT relationship with a man
>>37829463
agreed, fix this pasta
