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>Be me >Develop Telepathic powers >Shit is so cool >Can
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>Be me
>Develop Telepathic powers
>Shit is so cool
>Can fly, lift things with my mind, I can read minds, talk to people through my mind, send images
>Masturbate with no hands
>Everything is cool as fuck. Have to concentrate to not read minds or get too bored and send somebody or something flying across the room
>Somehow end up with a team of other super powered individuals
>Its even cooler
>Guys and girls who are super strong, can fly, run super fast, know magic, shapeshift, super geniuses, super martial, aliens artists etc etc
>'This is amazing" I used to think
>I was wrong
>Everybody fucking hates me
>No body invites me to any of the team parties
>Everybody screams at me because they think I read minds because I always know what events they have planned
>All I did is read the emails nobody reads
>Use me like a telephone
>Always suspicious around me
>Always get taken out of the fight first
>Can never use my powers for more than 5 minutes before I get hit with mind shattering visions
>Everytime they see me they yell "AAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHH!"
>Asks me to read their mind as a joke
>"What am I thinking about?"
>It's dicks
>It's always dicks

Any other telepaths out there? How do you deal with this shit?
>>
Go villain. If you're not incompetent and stay away from the dudes with plot armor, you'll be unstoppable.
>>
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>>84584594
Make them think about the void as you rape their unconscious bodies
>>
>>84584594
>>Always get taken out of the fight first
>>Can never use my powers for more than 5 minutes before I get hit with mind shattering visions
>>
>>84584594
Some of that stuff is Telekinesis, Kyle.
>>
>>84584594
>>Be me
Fresh off the boat are we reddit?
>>
>>84584851
wat the fuck
>>
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>>84584594
Hey OP, what am I thinking of?
>>
>Be me
>Develop Telepathic powers
>AUUUUUUUUUUGH
>>
>>84584594
>>reddit
>>
>>84584956
>>84585233
>everything is boogeyman meme
>>
Hey you know what you should do? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ky2dU6oIBAw
>>
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>>84585154
BIG BLACK NIPPLES
>>
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>>84584594
>Never tell anyone I'm a telepath because I'm not some faggot who's defined by my powers
>Everyone freaks the fuck out when I tell them
>Get put on teams with strength fags who think they are the shit
>They act like they've got shit on me and it takes everything I have not to give them a seizure
>Occasionally meet other telepaths
>They're all entry-level faggot empaths

Fuck my life X-famalams
>>
>Be telepath
> you'd thing reading people's mind would be the shit
> it's not
> Literally have to sort through horse of horrendous sexual fantasies a d every other sick shit you could imagine
>Literally scared by all the fuck people think of
>can't turn it off it's like a radar went
>Help me
>>
>>84586074
Gotta find someone with OCD bro, their minds are like 5 star hotels
>mfw I get asked to read criminal/insane minds
Shit's like an acid trip with intense fear: they're like schizos.
>>
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>>84585154
Why are you thinking about feminine penises
>>
>>84584594
>Be me
>Can predict the future
>I know how everyone will die
>If i tell everyone, they blame me
>If i don't tell, they also blame me
>I move to a mountain
>Pleb-street-capes and Villains keep following me and asking me shit
>Decided to turn villain
>I see that I always lose in the future
>I decide to kill myself
>I predict that hell exists
>Can't read comics or watch shows anymore, because of spoiler
>fuck
>>
>>84585093
dude, eggos
>>
I don't know why you psychics make such a big deal out of reading other people's minds.
Most of the time they're just thinking about the boring shit they have to get through for the day.
Outside of potential criminals, at the very worst you get a mixture of /r9k/ and /b/.

The best ones though are the completely random thoughts you get from unexpected strangers. Like the other day I was at an art gallery, one patron was pondering if Turtles would be able to comprehend what it means to fly if given wings.
>>
>>84586339
As an aside when you read pther people's minds, how does it sound?
For me, its still my mental "voice", but as if it were being controlled by someone else.
>>
>>84586384
Words start floating in the air
Really distracting
>>
>>84585597
>>84586201
the funny thing is I really was fapping to dark skin traps
>>
>>84586960
>dark skin traps
Patrician taste
>>
>>84587348
why thank you
>>
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>>84584594
>not just enjoying it
>>
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>>84586960
>dark skin traps
>>
>>84584594
Telepath here. You fucked up by telling them you can read minds. I'm on a team right now and I told them I have "power over wind". I lied and said I have a native american grandmother so they think it's some indian magic thing,

I spend all day launching rocks and mailboxes at villains and at night I jerk off to the mental sexual fantasies of my female team mates. Shit is pretty cash.
>>
>>84584851
I really thought that was cum until I saw the box.
>>
>>84588087
You're off the team.
>>
>>84588210
its still cum
>>
>>84584594
>Be Telepath
>Also develop mind control powers
>But fuck using them
>Do you know what they do to (obvious) mind controllers?
>But I figured something out a while back
>You know that old bit about how you only 10% or something of your brain? (not quite true btw)
>Mind control the other parts
>They stop thinking as good
>Everyone now thinks I'm some sort of genius planner
>Really I just make everyone around me stupid
>>
>>84587523
>Not psionically pavlovian conditioning them to be aroused every time they think of you or the fetishes you like
Shit tier psion
>>
>>84586162
Worse part I when I have a mind meld with a lunatic in acid Christ his head was like a putting hit head in a blender while violent slash lorn id played in the background shits scary
>>
>>84584594
It could be worse.
t. Aquatic-Only Super-Power Anon
>>
>>84588797
What powers specifically, there are several industries you could make a killing in
>>
>>84588231
You're off the team.
>>
>>84584594
>Can fly, lift things with my mind
>Masturbate with no hands
That's not telepathy, that's telekinesis Kyle.
>>
>>84590057
I guess I should have read the thread first.
>>
>>84584594

>Develop Telepathic powers
>Shit is so cool
>Can fly, lift things with my mind, I can read minds, talk to people through my mind, send images
>Masturbate with no hands

You mean telekinetic.
>>
Real question, why are telepaths ever in anything other than Black OPs teams?
Isn't one of the greatest strengths about telepaths/psychics is their outwardly unassuming appearances because their abilities are mental?
Why do they keep putting us on the front lines where our abilities are the least effective?
>>
>>84586960
You're gay
>>
>>84589415
I'll start my own team! With blackjack! And hookers!
>>
>>84590411
>Feminie Penis
>Gay

That makes no sense
>>
>>84590237
>Why do they keep putting us on the front lines where our abilities are the least effective?
Because you can merge with a goddamn gundam
>>
>>84590497
>Penis

There you go I clarified it for you.
>>
>>84590411
Shut the fyck up JEEEAAAAAAAN
>>
>>84590535
ha, yeah, and http://exhentai.org/g/956759/792ba3ea6b/ is TOOOOOOOOOOTALLY gay, right?
>>
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>>84584594
>Be me
>Born A ugly as fuck mutant on some backwater planet in a slowly dying civilization
> Fuck my life so ugly can't even get laid
> Holy shit find out I can fuck with people mentally
>Controll emotions and shit
> decide in going to fuck with everyone
> Need A new name
> The mule
> first target the foundation thus going to fun
>>
>>84590778
Yes, it is.
>>
>>84590820
wooooow
>>
>>84584594
>Be Telepath
>Get into everyone's mind while i'm in a fight to make everyone and their mom think i have strength-based powers and that i'm beating the shit out of the villain
>In reality i'm just sitting in a dark corner raping the villain with my mind
It has worked well, everybody loves me and recently i've been invited to be the heavy hitter for a pretty fucking nice team
Thing is, everyone thinks i'm this buff Superman-type motherfucker when actually i'm just some weirdo who wears his pajamas everywhere cause fuck clothes when you can make everyone think you're not in pajamas
>>
>Be Martian manhunnter
>Arrrrrrrrrrghhh!
>>
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>>84588947
It's those powers that only work if there's water somewhere, like superfast swimming, water manipulation or aquaman powers.

People that are born with powers that depend on something else to work should get a power transplant or be fucking euthanasied, holy shit.
>>
>>84588533
Why do you think they're fantasizing about me? I just get off to them being embarrassed about it.
>>
>>84591785
>water manipulation
There are a shit ton of industrial applications that water manipulation would help with
>>
Do telepathic individuals even exist? Is it even possible in the first place?
>>
>>84592133
If enough plot energy condenses onto a certain individual and a fate where powers are needed as a plot point in the great plot web, one gains a super power. That's how everything happens in the world, Anon.

Didn't you learn anything of basic /co/ physics in elementary school?
>>
>Be powerful electrokinetic
>Basically a living bolt of lightning
>Though is just electrical impulses in the brain
>My electrical impulses are enhanced as fuck giving me increased reaction time and IQ
>Downside is telepathic waifu on team hates my guts
>Says listening to my mind is like listening to ear splitting static
>Looks daggers at me whenever I enter a room
>Not like it's my fault
>I just zap dudes...
>>
>develop shapeshifting powers
>not just mimicry shit but full on Alex Mercer "ultimate lifeform" shit
>the good shit
>get picked up by a team of mutants
>all sorts of cool guys and girls-speedsters, hulksters, psychics
>radicool.gif
>gonna beat up badguys
>save the world
>maybe learn to read memories off of a living dude
>maybe get laid
>definitely get laid
>chicks gotta dig the shapeshifter, right?
>get off the ship
>immediate cold shoulder
>treat me like the Thing
>not the sick golem but the horror movie
>think imma eat them at any time
>first mission get stuck as "Strong guy"
>get stuck like that for all time
>"guys I can do other stuff too"
>get freaked out whenever I do anything other than muscled humanoid
>even get shamed for sexy shifting
>treat me worse than the psychic
>can't even hang out with that guy because i'm like "trying to read all of china at once while its getting mind fucked by cthulhu"
>thinking of joining the evil dudes just to stick it to these assholes
>>
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fucking normie powers
reeeeeeeeee
>>
>>84595809
do it man, Ill hook you up with my boss
He's a little a lot insane, but he pays well
he pays in REVENGE
>>
>get possessed by a wendigo
>basically become the canadian hulk
>want to be a superhero
>have to eat people
>forced to become supervillian
>twilight comes out
>ride wave of monster popularity to superstardom
>>
>>84584760
first post best post
Thread replies: 64
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