>Hank, why didn't you ever tell me the truth? Bill and Boomhauer- I get why they couldn't tell me. But you Hank, you're my best friend. How could my best friend lie to me all these years about my son and wife? You knew the entire time Joseph wasn't my biological son. You knew the entire time that even after years of raising him well into his teens, that Joseph wasn't really mine. You allowed me to continue a friendship and marriage that were based on lies. I know I'm not perfect, Hank. I know I have my faults. But I didn't deserve this. I thought you were my friend, Hank. How could you do this to me? How could you let me stay with a woman that cheated on, had a child with someone else during our marriage, and continued the affair for years and years?
Cuz you're a cuck. Lol.
Why didn't Nancy just divorce Dale?
>>84129962
>Well Dale it's like this.
>Because of the government.
>>84129988
He knew all along but he loved Joseph and didn't want to lose him
>>84129962
Honestly Dale's reaction would probably be more like
>YOU BASTARD YOU LIED TO ME I'LL KILL YOU I'LL
and then Hank punches him out or some shit.
Remember that time he tried to kill Hank with an electric toaster thrown into the hot tub for dreaming of Nancy naked, and did that while Nancy was in the tub too.
What did I ever do to you Hank to make you think I deserved to be treated so badly and humiliated by my own wife for over a decade? If I ever did something to deserve this, then I'm truly sorry for it. But I just want to know what I did to you Hank to make you think that I deserved this. Please tell me, Hank.
>>84129962
>Cause I feared this exact day would come Dale. I never thought about how you would find out, or how you would react. Now you could use your...ugh..."kung-fu" on me as revenge, but think about this. Was John Redcorn there for Joseph, heck no. Was he there for his first words, his first walk, his first day of school, absolutely not. You were Dale, you were. Now I can't tell if John Redcorn would have been a good father to Joseph or not, but I know you were Dale. You loved him like he was your own Dale, and you raised him like he was your own too. So go ahead Dale, use your "master skills" on me, but remember what I just said to you was the truth.
>>84130022
She genuine loves Dale but is just too much of a whore too stop
Who is worse person: Nancy or Peggy?
>>84130026
This is the correct answer.
>>84130783
That is hard. One is a horrible person who realizes it and the other is a horrible person who is oblivious to it.
>>84130188
Hank basically already gave him this speech, when Dale was convinced it was aliens.
>When Joseph was a baby, who changed his diapers? You or some alien?
I did.
>Who took him to his first day of kindergarten?
I did.
>Who taught him how to tie his shoes?
John Redcorn.
Well, okay, but who taught him how to ride a bike?
>John Redcorn. He taught Joseph, then Joseph taught me.
>Okay, but I didn't see the aliens doing that stuff. But you were there for every Christmas morning and scraped knee. You, Dale. Any alien can inject someone with his space juice and be a father. But it takes a real man to be a dad.
>>84131046
fuck my greentextin' ass.
>>84131028
>>84130783
I'd have to side with Weather Report on this:
"The worst kind of evil is evil that doesn't realize that it's evil
>>84131028
Haven't watched the show in a while, what did Peggy do? Or is she generally just a cunt?
>>84132623
Genuinely terrible on accident. She sabotaged Bobby's cooking ability because she was jelous and sabotaged Lucky's education because she hated the idea of him marrying Luann, and many, many other examples like it.
If I remember right, she basically kidnapped a Spanish child because she was too proud to admit she couldn't speak the language
>>84129962
Apart from not wanting to interfere in the genuinely good relationship Dale and Joseph have with each other, Dale's friends are probably afraid he'd snap and start killing people if he found out.
>>84130783
Nancy could cuck Dale with literally every man in Arlen and still be nowhere near as horrible a person as Peggy.
>>84130783
I've never understood Peggy hate.
She's annoying, yea, but she's SUPPOSED to be annoying. She's the character that's fun to hate, and she gives us a LOT to hate.
Even has an episode where she gets her comeuppance every now and then, which is fantastic.
Meanwhile Nancy is a boring cunt who contributes nothing to the show.
Why is this even a question?
>>84130783
Peggy at least has an excuse. She's compelled to prove she's the smartest one in the room because deep down she thinks she's dumb and ugly. Nancy is just a bitch hiding behind a veneer of Southern charm.
>>84129962
>Because you stealing Redcorn's son is funnier and meaner than him stealing your woman.
I mean, it's not Hank, but that's about how most Texans I know would respond.
>>84134095
Texas confirmed for Cuck State
>>84134209
I mean, they'd totally rip on him for being a cuck, too. And, yeah, they're dumb fucking rednecks with hilariously unfaithful marriages.
But really, it's just that leaving a dirty fucking native in an alcoholic slump because you're living with the woman he loves and being the direct reason his kid will grow up to hate people exactly like him?
That's actually really fucking funny. And really fucking mean. And Texas likes funny and mean.Plus, was it ever confirmed that Dale and Nancy NEVER fucked anymore? Because if not, then Redcorn's getting Dale's sloppy seconds on top of all that. And man, cucking him or not, I think I'd swallow a bullet if I was getting Dale's sloppy seconds.
>>84134301
I think it was said somewhere that nancy only has sex with him on his birthday, and christmas.
>>84130022
Probably too weak to just divorce him because it'd both be heartbreaking and a hassle. After Joeseph came around it was pretty impossible.
>>84134301
Sounds like it was pretty much just on his Birthday. Every other day he was witholding his essence as means of living longer.
>>84130783
Well it's shown that Dale mostly keeps Nancy in check by way of being...Dale.
Peggy on the other hand...
They all had some sort of fucked up secret that they were keeping hidden from each other like Boomhauer's car or Hank's head tattoo so it's not that surprising.
>>84134301
>>84134402
>>84134413
Only on his birthday and Christmas before the affair ended.
After that it was implied they were fucking really frequently.
>>84130188
Fukken hell, well written anon.
Dales always knew.
The fantasies he maintained with the aliens, government conspiracies, etc. They are just how he copes with the truth. the exterminator job is probably a coping mechanism too.
I'm not supporting Cuckolding, but in Nancy's case, Dale was like CWC tier
Dale won in the end oddly enough
i mean its not his son
but in the end John Redcorn never kept Nancy, he wanted to be a father but never got to be one, and the only land he ever got was dead land on a highway that the gribbles will inherit in the end
that is at least how things should have ended, he should have never gotten to make it as a child entertaining, and find another wife with his bastard kids to get with
>>84135997
I mean, does john redcorn really deserve that bad of an ending?
Actually changed my mind, i forgot he continued cheating with nancy after he learned about dale.
>>84136048
yeah, he's a piece of shit
he only seems like a good man because he has that magical Native American vibe on him
>>84129962
Well... *couch* you see um Dale. It was the aliens! Yeah that's right. The Aliens! You see, they used their alien mind control powers to keep me from saying anything even though I uh wanted to. I had to Dale, they threatened the world's supply of propane and you know how important that was. The aliens can do that and the government doesn't want that getting out? Right?
>>84131046
>>John Redcorn. He taught Joseph, then Joseph taught me.
It will never be not funny
>>84130177
You dug a tunnel under my house, got a restraining order after I accidentally cut off your finger, you also painted a giant flag on my roof, send me boxes of porn, fucked with my driver's license, got me arrested. Fuck you Gribble.
>>84132914
>too proud to admit she couldn't speak the language
she legitimately didn't know
the only reason she was acquitted was because hank was able to convince the court she had no idea what she was saying
>>84136557
What episode is this?
>>84129962
Them actually having an episode of this would have collapsed the whole house of cards. KotH is a delicate balance of satire, comedic performances, and genuine heart and kindness.
>>84130156
Dale doesn't have the heart to kill anyone. If the cord was long enough, he probably would've stopped and said something like,
>Oh... I was expecting you to jump out of the hot tub in fear.
>>84136582
Lupe's Revenge
I feel like it was some combination of legitimately believing she could speak Spanish while also refusing to admit her understanding of the language could even be slightly imperfect.
