If he had known how shitty his life turns out after becoming king, would he have done things differently?
>>83462841
Yes, he would've fucked the squirrel.
>>83462841
it aint so bad. the point is he helped england. arthur cared more about that than himself
>>83462841
He would have stopped whichever knight that was from killing the historian, triggering that abrupt non-ending in Holy Grail where they all get nicked for his murder
Yes.
>tfw Arthur will come again when Britain is in most dire need
I wish he'd hurry up and get here, we could use him.
>>83463058
did they do christmas trees back then? eh i'm sure merlin told them
>>83463126
Why would you actually WANT that? You know he's only going to show up when things have completely gone to shit, right? You should wish that things never get that bad.
>>83463383
i think what he's saying is 'good god, arthur's not here yet, that means things are going to get even WORSE than this?'
what he doesnt know is arthur DID come back, he's just in hiding
>>83463126
He would come back. If you deserve it.
>Arthur, a king of old looks upon modern England.
>his former kingdom of brave men and virtious women has turned into a nightmare.
>The nation has become corrupt, the people slothful and greedy.
>by selfish actions they have turned thier backs on god and poisoned the land.
>The children wonder the street causing havoc with aspirations of thuggery.
>the women give themselves up to a foreign Islamic horde, the ones that don't are hunted and taken by force.
>The invaders take not only that, but the land, rights, history and the innocence of children.
>The government encourages this and the weakened monarchy, his descendants, turns a blind eye or worse joins in encouragement.
> all the while the men, England's first and last hiers, what would be Arthur's soilders, fellow knights, and brothers. they sit and do nothing.
>even worse they put thier faith in corrupt politicians and demagogues who value the color of skin over the nation itself, putting the British on the same level as the French or German.
On Avalon, King Arthur cries,
As all of England dies.
They people beg for him to return.
The king says no, let it all burn
>>83463873
yeah but fair enough his crusade got the muzzies all stirred up in the first place. before that they were pretty content to dick around their own area
>no hazel posted yet
the fuck, /co/?
>>83465461
I dont have my own hazel content so I'm patiently waiting
>>83465626
I've always been fond of this one
>>83465919
though actually the best hazels are the totally nonlewd heroic ones
>>83463931
Arthur never launched a crusade, though. Are you sure you're not thinking of Richard the Lionheart?
>>83463873
>penis grip
Kek
>>83465989
well yeah he was IN it, but didnt it go back to arthur's day? or at least significantly prior to richard's day
all i know is england hasnt exactly been squeaky clean. and most of the shit they've gotten up to has been like, cruel treatment of people who ARE bad guys, but who dont deserve to be treated like that, and .. nice job, now they have sympathy
>>83466015
wut?
>>83466044
"Arthur's Day" is way, way back in the past, or at least it is if we're trying to be anything close to historical. It's some time shortly after the Romans pulled out of Britain, around the 500s AD.
Chretien de Troyes and Wolfram von Eschenbach and Thomas Mallory set their Arthurian tales during the High Middle Ages because that was the time period they were from, and there was no real sense of 'period accuracy' back then.
>>83466125
'kay, I thought ol' artie was under a century before the 1000 mark, and robin hood between 1 and 4 centuries after
so nevermind me then
>>83462841
I dunnk.
>Fuck a Squirrel
Or
>Wagner intensifies
>>83466125
>no real sense of 'period accuracy' back then.
y'know I've been told that the concept and the name nostalgia basically came about when edwardians pined for victorian times, because that was the first time one could really say that period had any distinctive feel and wasnt just the same old shit it had always been
>>83466227
"Excalibur" is just so... shiny. Even the shadowy scenes have the glimmer of high contrast lighting.
>>83466275
right?
it's as if patrick stewart was like
>listen guys, i'd love to be in your movie, but i don't want my head to be the shiniest thing in it
>don't worry pat, we've got this. and uh, may the spices flow..
>you idiot, i wasn't in that yet.
>>83462841
We did this years ago.
You KNOW we did this years ago.
Just post the shit instead of trying to grassroot interest in it. It makes you look slimy.
>>83463058
This made me more hard than I anticipated. Passionate kissing is my fetish.
![original[3].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/4i2UcFm.jpg "original[3].jpg")
>>83466393
Oh, what's up, critical OP reply?
I suppose you think you're cooler than everyone here.
Well guess what: You're also here.
In the thinly-disguised Hazel thread.
>>83463126
>>83462873
>>83463000
>Red squirrel is almost extinct in Britain
>>83467090
sad thing is they really have no excuse. gray squirrels are simply superior in every possible way. i dunno if they're interbreeding, or if not why not, but theyd better. because holy shit that's an inferior animal but it's CUTE and i want more.
>>83463931
>his crusade got the muzzies all stirred up in the first place
They attacked europe first.
>>83467522
that wouldnt exactly surprise me, but that's definitely not how i remember it going. i mean shit, they didnt have any capability. for the first few centuries of their existence they were weak little nothings
now the ARABS attacked europe, yeah. they never stopped doing that. but that was pre-islam
>>83462841
You're just looking for a valid excuse for him to fuck the squirrel.
>>83467747
he's fucking her. it's happening. it happened in the past and it happens in the future. it's a change in the timeline that was always destined to happen
OP is looking for a valid excuse to TALK about it
>>83465461
here's a Hazel and here's a (you)
>>83463873
>put thier faith in corrupt politicians and demagogues who value the color of skin
Is this England we're taking about or America?
>>83463931
>>83466044
Jesus Christ, anon. Arthur (if he ever existed) was dead for six hundred years before the First Crusade (let alone Richard's Crusade a hundred years later). Muhammad wasn't even born when Arthur would've died. If this is the limit of American knowledge of world history, I don't hold much hope for American hegemony.
>>83463383
>You know he's only going to show up when things have completely gone to shit, right?
So by the time he gets there, everyone in Britain will be speaking Arabic, thus he'll be far too late.
>>83468289
it's not the limit of american knowledge (which is leagues below my knowledge which in turn is leagues below the knowledge of anyone who, yknow, studies and cares), it's the limit of my ability to recall shit. i learn in vague patterns. shit just 'kinda sounds right i think'
>>83468306
to be fair it's not like you'd understand the english of his day. hell WAS it even english? as i understand it, before shakespeare (which i guess is a millennium after arthur) english had too little vocabulary to be of much use for a civilized person.
>>83468332
Arthur wouldn't have spoken English at all, he would have spoken some form of archaic Welsh
France>Shitty Britain
>>83463126
Is it worth having the true Monarchy back, though? It might work with him, but what happens after his lifespan finishes out in England?
>>83466159
Timeline of Arthurian Mythology/History:
King Arthur is said to have lived sometime after getting independence from Rome (in 410) and the first Saxon settlements in southern Britain in 449. The 9th century monk Nennius records him as fighting as a general at the Battle of Badon sometime around the turn of the century. Nennius is the first to mention Arthur in history.
Arthur becomes world famous after the Norman Conquest when Geoffrey of Monmouth publishes a """""history""""" book about his exploits in 1155. For the next few centuries Anglo-Norman, French and German poets compose works transforming him from a quasi-Christian Dark Ages Romano-British warlord into a high medieval Norman-style monarch who promotes chivalry, (anachronistically) employs knights who struggles against the polytheistic and (again, anachronistically) Muslim kings living in Britain. New characters invented by continental authors such as Sir Lancelot join old Welsh and Cornish favourites such as Sir Kay and Sir Bedivere like it's the X-Men.
Robin Hood is supposed to have lived in same period as these were written but that's another story.
>>83467090
>>83467189
Actually, we often have culls to cut back the numbers of the American grey squirrels to preserve the British red squirrels. We had a big slaughter of the greys not too long ago.
Perhaps the Native Americans could learn a thing or two from us on that score.
>>83468615
They could try, but then I assume it's open season on their scalps all over again.
>>83468332
>>83468402
Yeah, I doubt he would've known more than a few words in Anglo-Saxon. He would have spoken probably vulgar Latin as well as the later form of Ancient British before it split into the old forms of Welsh, Cornish, Breton and Cumbrian.
>>83468427
France is just a shitty copy Italy ever since Caesar's conquest. French people haven't had their own language or culture since Vercingetorix surrendered. Even their country's name comes from Germany.
>>83467601
>that wouldnt exactly surprise me, but that's definitely not how i remember it going. i mean shit, they didnt have any capability. for the first few centuries of their existence they were weak little nothings
You're thinking of pre-Islamic Arabs, those were disorganized tribal dustmen. Islam turned them into unified supersoldiers who metastasized across the middle east till they were knocking on the doors of the crumbling Roman Empire.
Meanwhile they rolled through North Africa and started sweeping up through Spain and Portugal. Within a century of Islam's founding it basically conquered the entire Levant, Arabia, North Africa, AND former Sasanian Empire.
>>83469014
>>83467601
Arab civilisation prior to Muhammad is sadly ignored, I think.
Aside from the culture and architecture of the Nabateans and despite being a less powerful ethnic group throughout the Middle East during this period, they produced a Roman emperor (Phillip the Arab who may or may not have been of Arab descent but was born in Arabia) plus the Ghassanids were important to the Byzantines.
Despite the successes of the Umayyads, they still got their shit pushed in by the Frankish tribesmen (twice) and had to decolonise Gaul immediately after occupying it, plus they never did take Byzantium.
