You wake up with all of Superman's current powers. What do you do?
Fly.
>>82719542
Fling the Earth into the sun then swan dive into a black hole.
jack off and kill someone with my bullet jizz
>>82719542
>Fly around the Earth with new awesome powers
>Reverse time to yesterday
>No longer have powers
>Fall face first into a Fjord or something
I'm having a shit week, so that's how it'd go.
commit crimes without repercussion
>>82719542
>current
Die from Kryptonite poisoning.
>>82719542
Conquer the earth, then setup colonies on other planets in system.
Eventually kill myself because human beings aren't supposed to solve all their problems.
Get a breakfast. Then go back to my bed.
>>82719542
Probably go to San Fransico and bully the queers. Not because I hate homosexuals but what are they gonna do about it?
>>82719643
this honestly.
/thread
>>82719542
Try to be Superman.
>>82719674
Good luck with that considering the invulnerablity thing.
>>82719736
It would be incredibly hard to be Superman without Supervillians
>>82719769
Make 'um.
>>82719805
We're not trying to be Batman here
Read a book on glass making and thenput the whole world in a bottle.
I'd start by saving lives and fighting crime.
Then I'd probably go and wreck ISIS for good. I mean we all agree they need to go, right?
Then i think I'd destroy Scientology. I mean they're not blowing anything up but everyone knows they're scary as shit and do terrible things.
Well I just invaded foreign soil to wage war and then disintegrated a religious organization but it was all for the greater good... so what else needs doing that no one else has the balls or the means to do? Maybe ruin Trump's campaign, maybe throw Hillary in jail...
Hell let's just make myself president. It's for the best.
Man it's too bad super powers don't exist in real life
>>82719753
>>82719674
>Can't starve to death
>Can breath in space
>Kryptonite doesn't exist
>Have no idea where the nearest Red Sun is
>You can't even kill yourself by flying into the sun
Man being a suicidal Superman would be hell
I put the world in a bottle.
>>82719542
Clean my house real quick, just to get it done ASAP.
Do my work faster then I used to, which is nice. Maybe get a raise with it.
Maybe do a bit of flying for a tick before getting on with my life.
Maybe if there's some disaster out there help out a bit, but massive disasters that super strength and super speed are required to fix aren't actually that common in real life.
Maybe stop a violent crime here and there if I get the chance, but that doesn't actually fix even the immediate problem like it does in comics, and my sudden intrusion is far more likely to escalate otherwise tense crimes into violent ones, and the other violent crimes would be so random and fast that I'd always get there late unless I could see the future.
In the real world Superman's powers would be real cool to have but kinda less useful then in comics because there isn't a robbery, supervillain, natural disaster or stick-up going on every thirty seconds like always seems to happen in comics. Even in the most violent cities in the world most deaths are caused by random incidents where it happened unplanned and without hint that the situation was going to escalate.
>>82719542
Put on a cheap Superman costume, rescue someone from a burning building, then whisper, "no one will ever believe you," before flying off.
Try to keep a low profile but blow my cover after I try to use my powers for profit
Probably on a straight path to world domination at that point on account that I wouldnt want to work with governments trying to tell me what the fuck to do when I'm basically god
>>82719876
ISIS would be hard to get rid of unless you had "Violent Extremist Vision" that let you ID one on sight. Superman's powers do not include an IFF Vision that lets him know automatically who is hostile unless they are screaming and holding a gun, which not all ISIS guys will be doing.
I think the best you could reliably do is take out their heavy equipment and arms storage (assuming you could find them and assuming they're all stockpiled in one place, which is unlikely) unless you plan to spend months hovering around Syria and learning to speak Arabic and putting together who works directly for ISIS and who doesn't.
>>82719958
Perfect
I rape the joker
>>82719974
Just wipe Islam off the face of the earth. Couldn't take more than a few days with Supermans powers
>>82719986
You fail.
The Joker isn't real and he's not a part of this scenario.
>>82719542
Make a good Superman movie.
Run a social experiment by removing every firearm from a country
>>82719974
It'd be easy enough to wait for them to make an assault then intervene, they have fairly defined territory and tactics. You could probably make a big dent in their efforts just by hovering and playing spot the VBIED.
>>82719542
Destroy Europe
Crash the Moon into the USA
Move to Japan
>>82719999
Actually no, that would be very hard too. Because Superman doesn't have "Muslim Vision" either and all someone needs to do is not openly practice it and unless you're looking with X-Rays in all directions everywhere simultaneously (which ALSO is not one of his powers) you'd never be able to fully suppress it.
You'd also end up spending most of your time outside the Middle East anyway, the vary majority of Muslims aren't even there anymore, they're in Malaysia.
Snap Zack Snyders neck and leave his corpse hanging from the WB watertower
>>82719542
Fly to space looking for ayy waifus, or alien life in general, I guess. Only read the beginning of new52 supes, how fast can he fly?
>>82720064
>thinks this would stop anyone
>>82719542
Fly around the world fast enough to suck my own dick
>>82719596
..and when you survive the black hole?
Gonna be a long time til heat death, m9. Best off taking a swim in a red sun.
Even then....
>>82720020
This
Plus super hearing and super vision, you can just sit in low orbit and scan entire countries in a matter of hours. You don't need to fight every member of Isis, just remove their ability to wage war
>>82720020
That would be a long-term thing then.
You couldn't just nip off and get it done in an afternoon, otherwise we'd have drone-bombed the shit our of their leadership ages ago (it's not like we'd piss anyone off by doing so); we can't even find them because we know they're somewhere in their territory but they move around a lot and unless you are also bestowed with terrorist-finding vision you'd have a hard time locating them.
Best bet is to remove manpower and equipment, which neuters them and leaves them easy pickings for the other groups in Syria and the Peshmergas or Assad's regime.
>>82720064
Superman can turn a city into glass in seconds. As for non muslims countries all you have to do is make a deceleration that everyone is to round up the muslims for execution of they will suffer the same fate and have everybody else do your work for you
You're not being very creative about this
>>82720164
Which is why he said to kill all muslims. Nobody indiscriminately bombs. Well the russians do but they lack our precision weaponry.
>>82720164
Doesn't superman have superhearing or something?
Couldn't he just listen for terrorist plotting?
Probably work down the list here
http://hisz.rsoe.hu/alertmap/index2.php
It's basically perfect for nonexistent supers
>>82720112
I just think it's kinda funny when some poorly educated retards think that eradicating Islam means focusing on the Middle-East when in fact most dumbass white folks in the US haven't even met any members of the ethnic group that holds the largest number of Muslims on planet Earth.
It's like saying you're going to kill all chickens on planet Earth and start by shooting turkeys instead; you aren't even aiming at the right thing.
>>82720164
>You couldn't just nip off and get it done in an afternoon
I think you're underestimating how powerful and fast Superman is
>>82720190
my problem is you're still going to have a world full of fundamentalist nutjobs that will piggyback their way onto other planets once you develop the ability. It isn't just muslim nutjobs.
They're only 1 threat to western world.
>>82720201
Sorry, I forgot that part of Superman's powers bestowed the ability to instantly speak Arabic. Silly me.
>>82720210
Nobody mentioned the Middle east until you though. You're putting words into people mouths
>>82720093
>Only read the beginning of new52 supes, how fast can he fly?
Billions of times lightspeed. Only gets faster with time too.
>>82720228
Who cares? We were just talking about the practically of the thing not the repercussions you autist
>>82720229
Give Superman an English to Arabic dictionary and he can master the language in a minute. I'm not joking, comic Superman is broken as fuck
>>82720210
If we could prove the muslims in malaysia, indonesia and various other countries in Indian and Pacific ocean were harming the west, we would be bombing them.
Same with Philipines and any other asian country.
Quite a few countries in South East Asia are attacking their own muslim population on their own like Burma.
I think he focused there because we have tangible links to attacks in Europe and those attempted in the U.S
I think when you know you have an overwhelming superiority and cannot use it without causing massive collateral damage..the fight to not use it becomes a large hypothetical pull.
We've had the capacity to end all of our foreign problems for about 70 years. To do it precisely, about 26 years. To do it with very little resistance? 23 years or so.
So remove any repercussion to yourself and then it opens up an entire field of alternative thought.
>>82720229
No one, not even me (anon who first suggested stopping Isis) suggested it would happen in an afternoon. I figured it was obvious that this would take time.
Besides, Super learning and speed reading are actual things.
>>82720190
And you're not imaginative enough. Or thinking very far ahead. Or actually knowing things outside of comic books, which are not a reflection of the real world.
Yeah; the human race would pretty much side against you for doing that. I know you're thinking "oooh, but nobody cares about duh meslums" but all you need to do is watch the news or read a history to show that as soon as civilians die in droves suddenly everyone sees you as the bad guy.
I mean you could kill the whole world who hates you and refuses to interact with you forever because you represent everyone's worst nightmare, but that would just mean you'd be bored because you emptied the universe of life that could ever communicate with you in any way and would live nearly forever completely alone and without human contact.
>>82719542
Nothing. Continue to live as a civilian until my hand is forced.
The parts surrounded in red get thrown into the void between galaxies.
I'll probably force greece to pay their denbts and likely push the island of Japan under the ocean, too.
>>82720239
Seriously? That sounds broke af. How did anyone ever write threats to this guy? Whatever, ayy pussy here I come
>>82720340
This is a smart choice.
Like, I'd do shit here and there on the down-low, but FUCK setting myself up as some pretentious nerd's idea of God because I read one too many comic books.
I don't need the grief, way too much a hassle for me.
Flash's powers might be a bit more useful, I always have trouble getting to places in time and need to get things done fast, and I don't really need all that other stuff I don't want.
>>82720316
Fear keeps people in line.
Do you seriously think the human race would fight to the very last man in the face of extinction against a vengeful God-dictator?
>>82720361
Other characters in the DCU are just as fast and then you have speedsters like the Flash who are broken as fuck. There's no exact speed for him but the idea is that traveling to other planets with life takes only minutes for him.
>>82720361
His powers fluctuate depending on the needs of the plot and the writer. Like ALL comic superheroes, by the way.
For comics fans a lot of comic book readers on here sure as shit don't sound like they actually READ comics.
>>82720361
>How did anyone ever write threats to this guy?
because even though he could very easily, Superman doesn't want to snap parasite or luthors necks faster than their brains could process it.
He also limits his speeds in atmosphere as to not ignite the air and tear up the continents.
Remember he doesn't have magic anti-friction-granted-via-speedforce powers like the flashes.
>>82720316
No, I was thinking nobody could stop me
>>82719542
>>82720395
I think he's a triggered Muslim who has taken this hypothetical personally
>>82719753
So Superman can't drown or snap his own neck or suffocate in space?
>>82719542
>What do you do?
I make everything right.
>>82720395
I like how you think your edgy Supergod angle would be satisfying to you at all.
There's literally nothing about your life that has mentally prepared you for becoming something like that and if you think there is then you are massively self-delusional.
It'd be like bring World President of Aloneness; no human being would ever willingly contact you out of pure fear, the job of maintaining what you created would take every hour of every day for all eternity with no breaks or room go social interaction at all.
You'd have no friends, no family, no lovers, no loved ones, no anything.
What's the point of being God if you get literally nothing out of it? Your life would be even more pathetic then it might be right now because for all your power you'd have less then even the most wretched groups on Earth often manage.And let's face it, if you were GOING to go out and rape someone (the only way anyone would ever actually get close to you ever again) you'd have done it already in real life. It's not even hard to get away with, most rape cases in real life go unsolved.
>>82720502
He doesn't need to breathe, no. Sunlight keeps him going.
But yeah he might be strong enough to break his own neck.
>>82720523
You can just put on some glasses and live a normal life
>>82720470
No, but he's triggered an adult who thinks edgy kids need to let their balls drop before posting online.
Seriously, he's like that kid who posted about "sharing affinities with Sephiroth" from FFVII on 4chan and meant it with zero irony.
>"I'll just kill all the dudes, that will solve all my problems!"
>>82720387
It's less about playing God and more about all the things you can do that you couldn't before. Like, if you saw a child drowning in a pond, wouldn't you be obligated to save it? Getting the powers means you'd be capable of doing that shit on a much larger scale
>>82720361
See >>82720423
Besides it's not like every threat and changed presents itself as a brawl. Superman had people and things he cares about. A lot of his stories are about protecting Metropolis, or Lois, or the Kent's, or Earth itself, and not about just punching a bad guy over and over.
>>82720567
I think this was a joke thread that's gone to far
>>82720316
See you're under the false impression that majority of non-muslim world would care. We've been bombing muslim countries on and off for 30 years. If you account for British and French fucking them up before us..its been like hundred plus years.
>>82720553
Hm...fair point.
I think if you ACTUALLY had to play Pretentious Flying God, you'd have to do it incognito. Never get seen, never slow down enough to be spotted, never explain yourself, never rule anything openly, and never bother being too public.
Everything happens fast and random without any explanation to anyone. You'd end up being treated like some freak natural occurance nobody could explain, but you'd get a normal life of your own and eventually folks might learn not to do stuff, though in actuality they might just be smarter about doing them.
>>82720582
>I think this was a joke thread that's gone to far
Welcome to 4chan
>>82720316
Ok you're right. Having Supermans powers wouldn't be enoughYou would have to be Stardust
>>82720579
I'd help out with stuff like that, but that shit happens a lot less in real life then you'd think unless you spend every minute for the rest of your life saving people.
Which Clark can't do BTW; he doesn't physically NEED sleep, but if he looses three days his mind starts to deteriorate just like hours does and he becomes irrational and starts seeing hallucinations.
Actually was a World's Finest storyline about that.
>>82720349
Why's Morroco safe?
>>82720626
That might work.
He's basically The Wizard That Did It.
>>82720523
Nice straw man bro
No one's suggesting that they'd want any of that, or that they'd enjoy it. You're the one bringing that into the discussion. The argument here has been about the hypothetical viability of it being possible.
Besides, the two proposals you're arguing against are a troll (kill all Muslims) and a cautionary tale (become supreme leader) which you might have realized it you weren't so desperate to masturbate your perceived intellectual superiority.
>>82720660
Have a friend who is working there for a year. Might be a god now, but I'm still thinking out for my friends.
>>82720690
If I was intellectually superior I wouldn't even be on /co/ a 1:18 at night when I work at 5AM tomorrow, so I won't make that claim.
>>82720696
They have some pretty cool beaches too. Nice food as well.
>>82720714
>I wouldn't even be on /co/ a 1:18 at night when I work at 5AM tomorrow
I don't really see the corollation. Intelligence gets beaten out by addiction/laziness in pretty much 100% of people.You gonna bother sleeping the few hours?
>>82719542
Make a lot of money and have sex with a lot of women. I'd "protect" the world and save people in my free time. I would be the strongest man-child in existence.
>>82720738
I'm severely insomniac actually.
And I might just call in sick.
I wouldn't do vigilante bullshit, not unless a Godzilla level threat happened. I feel like I'd be better off doing charity and such. Sometimes it'd be marathons or air shows, other times distributing aid to the poor or rescuing people from natural disasters. Anyone who wants to fight crime has to answer:
What advantage do you have over established police departments, considering fighting crime requires investigating and trials? What if you miscarry justice? What if you attract edgelords that shoot up crowds because they want to be your nemesis?
>>82720754
>I'm severely insomniac actually.
Shit dude. Sorry to hear. I went through a horrid year of it myself. Don't think I got more than eight or nine hours a week for so long.
>And I might just call in sick.
You do you, man.
>>82720766
>What if you miscarry justice?
I'm pretty sure every court on Earth would make up a law that says your involvement counts as a miscarry of Justice in all cases at all.
The Justice system gets SUPER butthurt when you stick your nose in their shit, they don't like some rando coming up and saying they're doing it wrong and if the rando has powers they'll just find ways to ignore you legally instead.
Nobody likes being emasculated, especially people who hold some kind of power already.
>>82720780
Used to take pills but they just made me drowsy and nautious all day.
>>82719542
>What do you do?
Kill everyone on 4chan
I'd probably just chill out with my powers man.
Fly to another part of the world if i'm bored. If I need cash i'll go find some underwater treasure and sell it. Go check out the planets in the galaxy. Stuff like that.
I'm not gonna try to play god or leader or anything because i don't know what is gonna form up to try to stop me and i'd rather not get on people's bad side because my powers might not last forever
>>82720836
you're doing it wrong.
I'd trawl the boards, finding people that post shit like the 'rape the joker' and 'what did he mean by this' threads and make them explode from literal asspain.
This site would improve a thousand fold.
>>82720836
Truly bettering mankind.
>>82720870
my last words would be "What did he mean by rape the joker?
>>82720870
oh I forgot. I would also make it so that anyone who presses a downvote button, or facebook like button has their head instantly torn from their necks.
>>82720908
>What did he mean by rape the joker?
Makes me sick seeing it even in jest.
>>82719542
I'd fly, test my strength, have fun.
I would lie and tell everyone I have Captain Britain's powers instead.
I'd rape every single celebrity crush starting with Salma Hayek.
>>82720953
This is way funnier then it should be.
>>82720972
Oh I like this idea, I would dress up in Friday Night Lights style costume and rape Amy Schumer. I would also organize the rape room just like her rape joke sketch about Friday Night Lights.
Every girl I thought was hot in High School
Every girl I thought was hot in College
Every girl I think is hot at work
Every celebrity I think is hot
Every pornstar I whack off to
They are all getting fucked and fucked hard.
I'll keep my favorites in a hidden fortress with all they could ever want.
In exchange for my dick any time I command.
I'd also make the world a better place in general.
Stop wars and conflicts... stuff like that.
Will I have control right away? Because more likely than not I can't even step on the floor without it breaking under me. And I would most likely suddenly start to fly out in space with no way of knowing how to stop myself.
Most likely I would just take a year away from everyone (mostly for their safety) and learn to control everything. After that if I feel like I have a good understanding I'll just try to be a good guy and help everyone I can all over the world. Study all the languages I can so I can tell them they are alright. Help bring needed supplies in places that need it.
Most likely go right after world leaders/major people mostly because of political/criminal vortex always lead to problems (while still stopping whatever problems they are making).
Most likely wear a mask just to protect my family and friends.
The problem is that after a pretty short time I would be mentally strained. Too many problems and even with all of Superman's powers I can't imagine I can keep up with everything.
>>82721132
>Too many problems and even with all of Superman's powers I can't imagine I can keep up with everything.
Well not even Superman himself can do that, anon.
It's what makes him great. He still tries.
>>82719542
Probably go insane.
If I don't i'd live a life of peace and occassional terrorist head popping.
>>82721196
Oh I get it I'm just saying I can see myself going crazy trying to solve so many things. Hell I would most likely focus more on humanitarian aid more than actual live saving since it's less mentally straining and it's something that will always been needed everywhere in the world.
>>82719736
You would probably end up being Plutonian instead.
>>82719885
>>82719824
ÐÑ‚o.
Steal enough money to enjoy a lifetime of sitting on my super-ass
I will become the greatest threat of the humanity, and will force people to work together to save the planet. There will be no borderline between people any more, I will unify humans to do something greater and more beautifull
>>82721801
You sound like a gay dick tator. What's the plan, have everyone perform Chorus Line?
>>82721886
>dick tator
>try to do good
>bring the world into chaos
>curse Snyder for all eternity
>>82722052
>Spend all your time floating around Snyder telling him how awful he is
I would love to see that.
I start doing things to fix my physique. then, with this renewed confidence I get a part time job working at Woolworths
>>82719877
He can hurt himself with his heat vision
>>82719542
be superman, pretty much, but also dress as a clown.
cause I'm sick of how unfairly clowns are treated in media, and maybe my actions will change their public image.
Having these powers wouldn't make me any less of a lazy chickenshit.
>>82722274
>Insane Super-Clown "Saves" children from burning school. What sinister plans is he hiding?
OP, can I accept a lesser power substitute? Like, can I have the powers of Shazam, instead?
Watch Superman the movie then fap to my Waifu so hard that my jizz is literally a speeding bullet
>>82722252
How do you fix your physique when a light workout involves lifting mountains?
Anyone who's fat or unfit when they get the powers is pretty much staying that way.
I'd masturbate. Before ejaculating I'd mentally command every one of my 20 million super-sperm to calculate a pattern in which females will be impregnated, to avoid my super-children accidentally inbreeding as teenagers. They'd locate an appropriately locared, fertile egg, and travel into the Vagina to create the next race of Superhumans. Nor even human women either, my super-sperm is potent enough to fertilize any living creatire, and a completely normal Kryptonian will be born. Cats, snakes, ants, fish. Maybe one of each sexual reproducing animal in America, just for fun.
Then I'd do it again the next day in another country, until the entire world is baring my children.
Look at people naked
>>82722411
gross. they're all naked and shit
Couldn't he just fly up with Zod? He didn't HAVE to break his neck; and why didn't these idiots run from the slow as hell laser?
>>82722419
No, he meant he's going to look at people whilst he's naked.
>>82721801
Be a supervillain?
They will just throw nukes at you, causing radioactive fallout in many countries. You sruvive, so then, some people will start worshipping you. Then, muslims or christians will start genociding people who will start worshipping you. If you stop them, radicals in Middle Eeast/USA will declare you a menace and a savior, respectively (depending on who was the genociders you stopped - if you stopped muslims, USA loves you; if you stopped christians, Middle East loves you). If you don't stop it, that's genocide on your conscience.
Then, multiple smaller countries will try to gain your favour and declare war on countries that hate you. Since we just mention this would be either USA or Middle East, it's gonna destabilize global economy. Eventually, someone will get stupid and nukes will fly. If you stop them, you will be called a hero by some and menace by some and your plan won't work anymore - you will be a controversial figure, your view strongly dependent on culture, and with your own growing religion.
If you won't stop them, you will have nuclear holocaust on your conscience.
You're not gonna be a proper hero, nor a proper villain, and you will do the opposite of unifying people - more likely to almost start World War 3.
>>82719560
>>82719643
>>82719696
>>82719893
>>82719958
>>82720340
>>82720846
>>82720951
>>82720972
>>82721261
>>82721684
>>82722411
I can't say for sure how I'd react but any of these seem plausible.
>>82722399
It'd be a shame if you were a woman with these powers.
>>82719542
Start training myself first, so I don't accidentally kill anyone.
>>82719736
Sinetimes the best answer is the most obvious one.
>>82719542
Well that escalated quickly....
>>82720517
Superboy prime legit scares the fuck out of me.
>>82722303
>Captain Marvel
>Lesser
He might not have the extra vision but there's a lot of things Captain Marvel can do that Supes can't. But Supes is more "science" with him just being a weird solar battery and Captain Marvel is magic.
>>82722591
You are only human Anon.
>>82722617
>a lot of things Captain Marvel can do that Supes can't.
mmmm
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vrkwxMnTfTw
>>82722644
Still call bullshit on that. But I call bullshit on a lot of stuff in Injustice even if it's a stupidly fun ride.
>>82722617
>>82722644
Didn't the New 52 upgrade him into a spellcaster too on top of the flying brick stuff?
>>82722661
> I don't like it, therefore its bullshit
Now you know what all the dbz fags feel like when supes killed goku
>>82722663
He was always a spellcaster and Johns version of the character was the weakest version of Billy ever.
>>82722661
Its both injustice and new52 shazam , not captain marvel, all magic was extremely needed by Johns when nee52 started, it's what you get when a sci-fi nerd tries to reshape a magical and fantasy universe
>>82722699
Really? I just thought he was a flying brick and the only extra power he had was summoning the lightning. Didn't know he was always a wizard if that's the case.
>>82720387
>>82720340
Litteraly Man of Steel plot.
>>82719542
I am thinking lower the homicide figure in my country from 55 thousand to well, something smaller.
Probably protect people from disasters and terrorists.
Give people speeches and save people from destroying their lives.
Wear a cool tight uniform.
Be Superman without Supervillains I guess.
>>82722747
He could do that since the golden age, just like Thor is just something he almost never did, new52 shazam is not Superman's physical equal. Now that Johns has finally let go the character we may get that back.
My custome would be boxers and a full face Halloween mask (Not a fucking domino mask) that I would change regularly. Then I would do some stuff to get attention. Also drop out of school because who needs it with superpowers.
Then I make a forum for people to suggest things for me to do. I won't accept everything but I would pull petty pranks on people and world leaders. Plus kill or capture a bunch of insurgency groups around the world. Support democratic elections. And steal all the stuff from Mecca and move it to Sweden. Maybe also offer ferrying cargo into orbit yo get the space program a boost.
>>82722890
Kek filthy beaner
Overthrow my country's dictator.
>>82722931
>making it so even more muslims go to europe
How cruel are you
>>82722915
Shame, it's cooler then making him a standard brick
>>82720766
The fact that the police can't do their job and are often corrupt and poorly paid here?
You need to get out more.
I am tired of knowing there are people who live in fear even in nations that are supposedly "doing better than ever before", including my own.
Screw me if I'd not go to stop drug Cartels or terrorists. And that's just the tip, there are many lawless places with many different issues. There are people out there in need of a symbol, of hope, of justice, of a life without fear and where they can enjoy the fruits of their labour without having their souls crushed by the boots of thugs and thieves.
>>82722979
I'm not mexican.
>>82719542
Dress up as Batman and survive bullshit scenarios.
>>82723014
How easy it is to preach that shit from a country where you won't get decapitated and hung from a bridge or they find your family in an unmarked mass grave.
Getting pepper sprayed in the face is a little different.
>>82723047
>hurr
I live in the third world. Specifically, I live right next to a local drug den.
More specifically, I've known women who got assaulted (as in beaten) and robbed right in front of my home, with zero repercussions. I've actually met a murderer before. Fuck, the only reason I am relatively safe is because I don't leave my home a lot.
>>82723031
>tfw these past 80~ years of batman DC has kept it secret that he is actually kryptonian, and only uses the powers to do batman things.
>>82723047
>that shitty "it's always worse somewhere, so nothing less bad than that matter" fallacy
>>82723078
>and robbed right in front of my home
> lets it happen literally outside his house
Well thank god you don't have supermans power
>>82723098
What's your reasoning behind that conclusion?
>>82723083
Preptime is actually Batman flying home with super speed stuffing his belt with the right gadgets for the situations and flying back without anyone noticing anything.
>>82723098
I can't legally own a gun.
I also can't do anything against three armed men. You might not get it, but I am not Superman.
>>82723097
>liberal activists thinking a night in jail compares to living in constant fear that everything you care about can be taken away without any recourse is the same as worrying about whatever local petty bullshit is important meme"
>>82723131
Where are you pulling this bullshit from?
>>82723131
>that shitty "it's always worse somewhere, so nothing less bad than that matter" fallacy, again
>>82723131
>country has more homicides than Mexico or India
>many areas are basically controlled by criminals
>even the police is trigger happy because of the conditions
>people have many idiotic restrictions to weapon purchase
>many are poor and many die sick in the streets
>not even the worst nation on earth meaning that there are places doing much much worse
>places an hypothetical superman could help
>hurr liberal activists
I don't know who you think you're shitting on.
>>82719542
Well, I know I wouldn't be late for work for a change.
>>82719542
panic because if i got power it means other will come out with powers soon too and i will have to make the morale decision of either being good, bad or ignore everything until someone finds out and i'm forced to join a fight against a intergalactic menace trying to destroy our planet because if you have superpowers you have to do it.
fuck it would be such a chore, i just want to read comics and shitpost.
>>82723730
Superman could probably read comics while fighting.
SuperNEET? Supernerd? Superneckbeard?
Fly around a bit, keeping incognito. Observe the geopolitics of the world via super hearing and x-ray vision until I have a firm idea of where corruption lies. Then stamp that out.
When nepotism and corruption is gone (it'll never be gone... but for the sake of argument) I'd go back into hiding. Probably fly around the solar system just for larks. Visit Mars and all that jazz.
>>82722547
Which superman knockoff is this?
>>82723031
This. Imagine, aliens are attacking earth.
>Oh, they have only a couple superheroes, and none of them have powers
>Surprise motherfuckers! Hurl them into fucking sun!
... I just realized we have no way of knowing if that's not true. If Bruce actually gotten such powers at any point, he would do exactly that - keep them as absolute contingency.
Take care of the rapefugee problem in Europe, then lobotomize the really sick people who rape and mutilate infants, that's week one.
>>82719542
Go on a light speed killing spree.
>>82722360
>Anyone who's fat or unfit when they get the powers is pretty much staying that way.
People need to play with this more, I read a story called Fine Structure (which I love so I'm shilling for it) awhile ago that has a side focus on people who randomly come into a brick type super power set every year and the main character focus point for that aspect of the story is a middle aged english guy who can't really fix his physique, he also actually needs glasses which his powers didn't fix either.
>>82723875
I think it's Homecoming from The Boys
Roll over, go back to sleep, because Superman's power set and metabolism mean that the anti-depressants will stop working and I'll no longer feel motivated to do much of anything.
>>82719542
Spend most of my time on another planet and wait for something big that requires me to use my powers.
>>82724143
Just lift the world up and do curls.
>>82724196
On the other hand, you'll be super powerful and capable, so you'd be at least a bit more motivated since you could get shit done. No?
>>82724254
It could be the opposite effect, studies show that people who view themselves as highly naturally gifted are often more inclined towards laziness and demotivation because they believe they can already accomplish any given task given enough effort.I did this myself this morning and failed a test because of it
>>82719542
I would really want to just fly around but I'd probably fly to some other continent and not be able to get back home and get confused as fuck, so I'd just fly straight up and try to get used to the perspective.
>>82719542
steal 40 cakes
>>82720538
>is Superman's neck so strong that he himself couldn't snap it?
>well sure of course, he could, but then again... wow as far as melon scratchers go, that's a honey doodle
>>82719542
Be as straight as possible. Help people in disasters, try to stop criminals.
When some people ask if I am a god, make clear that I am also an imperfect man who can makes mistakes and that I also believe in a power higher than mine.
Is a perfect physique one of Superman's powers? Because I think I need that for secret identity stuff.
>>82724330
I kinda fit that bill for intellectual stuff, but most of my lazyness for other stuff is because I don't see the point of pushing myself when my final objectives aren't achievable.
>>82724503
Only if exposed to the sun.
I would read this thread for ideas and then pick my favorite
I would fly to the nearest inhabited planet (probably forty light years away but would take me way less time) and hope they are all idiots like the people on this planet (at least, based on reading this thread).
>>82719542
Finally get laid....
>>82726079
You still look like you.
>>82726108
My issue stems more from confidence than looks.
>>82726171
Whatever you say.
>>82726108
>you still look like you
Except buff as fuck.
>>82726171
You're really not trying if it's just mindless sex you want, that's easy to get. If it is then maybe you could use better standards too
>>82726348
It was a joke, but one that stems from something that actually is a problem for me. And no mindless sex isn't what I want. But after my last few bad dating choices. The thought of becoming emotionally invested in someone terrifies me. And I doesn't afraid of anything
>>82726348
Not him but I have quite a few stories were I autismed myself out of dates, or even let a girl hanging after a makeout session because sperg.
My near-first time was actually unfinished because I felt guilty having sex and thought it'd be too pushy to continue, and only actually had my first time when the girl insisted (at a later date) that no I wasn't being pushy.
Childhood problems that snowballed I guess.
I can relate to Jeb Bush, low energy, socially stupid.
>>82719542
Full Injustice.
I'd force everyone to accept Bernie as the president.
>>82726714
This
>>82726767
Why not just be president and have Bernie as acting VP
>>82720311
Those are rather specific numbers. First is obviously off by a bunch of years but I see the basic reasoning, how do you figure the other two?
>>82726892
>No. 311
>>82727857
Hypercrisis?
I would take a superdump. I wonder how Superman's pooping sessions are like. Like he could supervibrate so fast it practically liquifies the stuff in his colon before he sits down.
Then I'd probably buy a Superman outfit and see if there's anywhere I could help out.
>>82720026
crash the moon into the usa like that wouldnt destroy a large part of every thing japan is real close to usa bud
>>82723875
It;s Plutonian from Irredeemable.He's not a knock-off.
>>82719877
The nearest Red Sun is Arcturus being 36 light years away
>>82719542
Zip around and poop on people's heads like a giant pidgeon
Get into internet fights until someone challenges me to fite irl
Show up
Look for a habitable planet and dump some humans onto it for fun. Make sure they can actually develop.
>>82732307
I'm pretty sure you could actually just find a SHITLOAD of volunteers for something like that.
