You're an important asset to SHIELD. An Avenger has been assigned as your bodyguard and they must take care of your EVERY need. Who do you pick as your bodyguard, left or right?
Neither, what the fuck.
I wouldn't trust a woman to keep me safe.
Not being sexist, just don't want to die.
Black Widow is probably more experienced as a bodyguard and in doing all sorts of SHIELDesque tasks that I may require assistance with. She's not as easily emotionally compromised or volatile and is unlikely to kill me with careless use of her skills should shit go down.Also she's unable to be impregnated and has been trained in all the sexual arts and knows how to pretend not to be disgusted by my flabby broken-down body and small penis when I ask her to do lewd things to me.
>>82496587
Black Widow has been a SHIELD agent for who knows how long and before that a dangerous killer. She knows what she's doing
>>82496641
>i'm not sexist but i don't think a capable trained agent who has been shown to be very competent can protect me because she is a woman
>>82496625
>>82496721
>/co/mblr
>>82496587
Widow.
Witch would end up killing me herself by accident.
>>82496587
Widow cause I can creampie her all day every day with no consequences.
>>82496816
>>/pol/
>>82496587
depends on what we could be facing, BW is more experienced, but can do nothing agains an enhanced enemy
>>82496587
Something about this look in her eyes tells me Wanda could do a lot of things to please me.
>>82496840
Not at all just a normal person who doesn't get triggered. As a woman you can't honestly think you belong on 4chan.
>>82496721
In reality she wouldn't be capable of protecting anyone.
She's just written that way to appease the strong womyn movement.
Just thinking about it logically here, there's a reason you will never see females in the secret service ready to take a bullet for someone.
All for the empowerment of women but not when it's my life at stake.
>>82496840
First day on the chan hunny? You are getting baited like crazy.
As for OP Widow.
>>82496587
Widow because I can't stand Wanda's shitty accent.
>people ignoring the fact that this is a waifu-war thread
>>82496870
do you suck dicks?
>>82496587
Neither, I choose Cap.
>>82496587
I guess I'd go Black Widow. She's more experienced and probably a lot more no-nonsense. Wanda's about the same age as I am (if we're taking Olsen's age into account) and probably less strict. So with BW I'd have less incentive to disregard being professional.
>>82496587
Wanda of course.
If I get to have fun with them, i'll choose the one that can do more weird shit.
>>82496587
Black Widow, Scarlet Witch barely knows how to control her power while Widow been an assassin since she was a teenager
>>82496943
>on the chan
Jesus you sound like a massive faggot. Let me guess, is your second day "on the chan" as I guess you newfags now call it.
>>82496587
Scarlet Witch because if something other than a bunch of regular humans comes in, BW is fucked.
WandaHer accent is boner fuel
>>82496587
I pick Steve
>>82496924
In reality neither of them exist so it's a moot point. You take them as shown in-universe to the fictional portrayal they are relevant to.
Otherwise if someone asks whether you want Batman as a guard you end up with "well logically as an ordinary man his numerous injuries and worn down joints and cartilage and honestly he's better off just being bruce wayne and financially reviving gotham because realistically there's no way one man can make a difference in such a hellhole of a city".
That's not the fucking point. Stick with the in-universe depictions for any discussions that are in-universe standpoints.
Scarjo was so pretty back in the day
Wanda. I'd give her advice and comfort her as she guards me.
>>82497033
Kek look at this newfag trying to fit in.
I'm a fucking chump, I don't know how I could possibly be an asset to SHIELD so the only conclusion I've come to is that I end up being the fucking food tester for Nick Fury, making sure Hydra doesn't put shit in his fucking Royale with cheese. So my chances of getting knocked off by some goon are pretty low. At that point I'm less worried about who's the best body guard and more worried about who I would want to chill with. "Hey Black Widow, could you go grab the remote" or "hey Wanda, could you send the remote over here with your fucking mind." Plus Wanda seems chill, 10/10 would cuddle with. I'd ask Black Widow for head or some shit and the whole time I'd be thinking about how she hates working with me and then I'd go flaccid and I FUCKING KNOW that bitch would talk shit about my dick to Tony Stark and the rest of the fucking crew. It's not my fault it looks like a fucking spam can, it's a birth defect. I'd rather have Wanda be my body guard and hope that she gets Stockholm syndrome or some shit.
>guaranteed protection
or
>my waifu
going to have to pick wanda I'm afraid
>>82496587
Mai waifu.
Can't really go Widow over the ZR Godess Wanda. Even though Widow is probably a safer bet.
>those who pick Widow are mostly doing so for logical reasons that make sense
>those who pick Wanda are mostly literally just saying mai waifu
Waifufags, whoever they waifu, will always be shit.
>>82497689
>wow, why are there waifufags in a waifu-war thread
>>82496679
This is the post everyone on this board should be agreeing with
>>82497764
>thinking the massive orde of Wandafags will let go of their waifu
>>82497724
Considering how I don't think there's been a single "nah I just wanna fuck scarjo" response and most have cited her experience and capabilities in the assigned role for discussion, it's a rather one-sided waifuwar. Pretty poor attempt all up.
>>82497650
>ZR goddess
>shit tier ZR
>>82497689
but witch could kick widows ass, and does so in civil war
>>82497773
Waifu brain clouding judgement
>>82497689
>mfw widow is my waifu and the superior protector at the same time
>>82497806
I'm sure widow, just like hawkguy, wouldn't let it happen twice with the brain rape and the dancing and puddin
>>82497825
Meant for
>>82497796
>experienced bodyguard/spy/assassin, or marvel's ms. Meme supreme
Gimme that ScarJo
A real Wandafag would pick Widow as his bodyguard anyway. Because being in a position of total authoritarian control over your waifu isn't where you want to be.
>Take Widow as bodyguard
>Since she has to cater to your ever need, get her to introduce you to Wanda in a smooth manner befitting a skilled espionage agent
>Have Widow wingman me
>Develop a relationship with Wanda on the strength of my own personaliry and self
>form a bond with her as equals rather than as master and servant
>waifu her and enjoy the benefits of a real relationship rather than a forced one>enact a consenting master servant relationship of Dom/Sub sexy times with waifu as any good BDSM loving relationship should be
>>82496679
This is absolutely my fucking answer too.
Scarlet Witch pretty much threw around everyone in the airport fight, and she smashed Vision into the ground, so her.
>a powerful god-mode superhuman
>someone who chokes people with her vagina
I'll go with Scarlet Witch. She can throw shitty goons no cares about around, but becomes a complete bitch when someone even slightly threatening appears.
How likely are they to get mad at me though? Cause if I piss them off, one's just likely to shove her crotch in my face, the other can make me go splodo. And not the good kind
Scarlet Witch.
She can brainwash Black Widow into serving me too, so I can have both.
>>82497918
And when you upset her while she's guarding you, which you undoubtedly will because anyone on /co/ has the social graces of a a piece of shit on white shag carpet, then her powers flip out and you're fucked.
>>82497948
Fucking Killgrave, we don't need ypur kind of rapist here.
>>82497948
/thread
>>82496587
The one with actual powers.
Widow is a trained assassin and perfect for bodyguard duties, also less likely to go full retard with her powers and explode me or whatever.
Wanda is a meme waifu anyway, I'd take WS personality Widow over her any day. She was top qt in her hoodie in TWS and looks fun to hang out with.
>>82498296
>Widow - continuously tries to hook you up with other people
>Wanda - continuously tries to blow you up
She'd be like BFF tier
>>82496587
black widow on the conditions that she's 1. a capeshit movie female and therefore magically capable of fighting on par with men (even men who themselves are explicitly superpowered) despite "not having superpowers" and 2. the black widow from IM2 ie the only time she was hot
>>82497948
shit i change my answer, this is obviously the correct answer
the previous /thread was correct
