You are forced to hang out with one character for an entire day. Who do you choose?
Bill.
I'm letting two losers down either way...
Jon seems the least depressing to hang out with.
>>81426060
Bill is pretty tolerable in short doses, it's when you're around him for too long that's awful.
>>81426060
Do I get to meet Rick if I choose Jerry?
>>81426060
>>81426132
Bill
easy
>>81426183
but John Arbuckle is unfunny uninteresting slime, and Jerry is terminally stupid
at least Bill is innocently stupid, and actually has some things he can talk about besides himself.
>>81426060
If I pick Jerry I think there's a chance I end up fucking his hot wife
I think I'll go with Jon. He might be dull, but at least he's not an asshole like Jerry, or a depressive pill like Bill. Besides he has the best life of all three of them.
>>81426565
This is the most sensible option. The very worst bullshit you'll have to deal with hanging out with John for a day is his cat thinking something bitchy. John rarely leaves his house, and he rarely wanders from his chest-high counter. No chance of space shenanigans, no chance of getting wrapped up in Dale Gribble's nonsense, just seeing a fat cat and a fun dog.
>>81426225
asking the real questions
>>81426686
> No chance of space shenanigans, no chance of getting wrapped up in Dale Gribble's nonsense
Sounds like you're saying Jon is the worst choice
>>81426060
Jerry, I think he is the least suicidal.
>>81426060
>Who do you choose?
http://coub.com/tags/jon%20arbuckle;%20garfield;%20daft%20punk;%20get%20lucky
>>81426060
Bill, same height, weight andbaldness
>>81426934
> Maybe I could pass for him and rape Peggy when Hank's not looking
You're this obvious
>>81426225
>Do I get to meet Summer if I choose Jerry
ftfy
>>81426876
Anon, you won't be a swashbuckling adventurer with Rick.
You'll be that fat kid in that episode where Morty turns into a car.
I could be making that character up. You don't fucking know RIGHT NOW, but point is you'll see some weird shit, and that's it.
>>81426060
Leno- I mean Bill
I am terrified of being alone with Bill, he is big and strong and acts irrational when drunk.
Jerry is the most socially adjusted, but he's also kind of a petty asshole.
Jon might be the best choice. He's shown to have friends, at least early on.
>>81426060
Bill, no contest.
>>81426060
Bill
Jerry is a cowardly asshole who'd be that guy who'd take you to a restaurant, order expensive food and then have you pay for it all
Jons a boring, embarrassing dork
>>81426060
Probably Jerry. I can't stand Bill and he never seems to respond well to any sort of goodness offered to him. John is horribly uninteresting in every single way. Jerry's bad, but it seems like he's just at his worst when he's being shit on. He seemed alright when the poop-eating Rick treated him with some decency and I think I could stand to humor him.
>>81427014
Pretty sure I can hold my own at least as well as Mortu
>>81426876
I think if I was in an episode of Rick and Morty, I'd be the guy that gets killed in the beginning so Morty goes "What the fuck Rick, Anon just got killed, this is some serious shit!" and Rick says "Relax Morty people die all the time he was just some loser from the internet, nobody - buuurps - cares about him anyway".
So yeah, I'm sticking with Jon.
>>81426383
This
Jerry just so you can cuck him
>>81426309
>John Arbuckle is unfunny
He is hilarious, at least in how much he fails. He will clearly be the best choice, especially because you don't really need to talk with him all that much.
>>81427260
I'd be the Mr. Poopypants of the episode
>>81426060
Bill, no question. I could show him stuff on the internet that would change his life forever. I could help him be less sad. The other two are hopeless and boring to boot.
>>81427168
No way. Morty is a legit adventurer. You are a turd. Even in this world, Morty would lead a more interesting life than you.
>>81426060
Do we get to use computers? I could trade cat pictures with Jerry for a day to avoid hearing Jon Arbuckle or smelling Bill Dotreve.
>All these people choosing Bill
Why? Do you guys not remember what happened to Bobby after just two hours with him?
>>81426565
This is the only sensible view.
>>81427943
I ain't as much of a weenie as he is tho
>>81428015
>Why? Do you guys not remember what happened to Bobby after just two hours with him?
we're all losers who have come to terms with that and don't need to self-loath about it every waking moment like bill
Plus we share an image board with /r9k/ the Self-Loath board so of course we can deal with Bill
also Bobby was a underage impressionable kid
>>81428015
I have a stronger mind than Bobby. Hell, I bet I could turn Bill into a weeaboo given a whole day and a $200 budget.
>>81428015
To be fair, Bobby was still impressionable. That being said, if you're going to try and befriend Bill you better be ready for a clingy wreck who will treat you as his baby sitter for the rest of your lives.
>>81426225
>Wanting to meet Rick
Why, so he can shit on you, insult your intelligence and proceed to get you killed on some zany adventure because he couldn't give two shits if you died?
>>81428098
>Plus we share an image board with /r9k/ the Self-Loath board so of course we can deal with Bill
And what would you prefer: hanging out with /r9k/ for a day, or hanging out in some guy's house while he talks to his cat?
>>81428140
Someone's jelly
>>81428018
You are much more of a weenie than he is. Any of his adventures would just straight up kill you.
>>81428199
/r9k/ at least has memes and probably a doting mom willing to cook for us.
>>81428100
>Hell, I bet I could turn Bill into a weeaboo
You would subject KotH fans to Bill surrounding himself with hug pillows and endlessly talking about his Nendoroid waifus until Hank holds him back while Dale incinerates all of it in front of him?
That's just cruel. Also, potentially best episode
>>81428227
Nah
>>81428285
I would further subject them to Bill successfully lying to become a host family for a Japanese exchange student, who Bobby and Connie befriend and try to rescue.
>>81428208
Anon, Rick's a sociopath, I'm just curious as to why you would want to meet him at all. I mean, he would probably disregard you on every level if you were stupid and if you were smart, you probably wouldn't even touch upon his own intelligence and he would proceed to either constantly neg you or, again, disregard you.
>>81426060
Bill
>>81428374
Rick's a tired, cynical, powerful, murderous jackass, but he's not a sociopath.
>>81426060
If it ain't Jon, it's shit
>>81427812
Fixing Bill breaks him more.
>>81428417
Fair enough.
Still though, can't imagine meeting him would be anything besides a humiliating and miserable ordeal.
This is actually a difficult question. I can't stand the three if I stay for too long.
Maybe I'll pick Jon if he keeps buying lasagnas.
Jerry
He is a complete normie. You can go to a batting cage, go karts, golf, movies, etc, with him and have a good normal time.
Bill is a complete fucking wreck. He is going to screw it up. He'll ruin any fun you try to have and make you angry or depressed.
Jon won't ruin things like Bill, but is still a loser.
>>81428459
You could play MtG for hours, then watch some alien cable.
>>81428451
I would introduce him to the sympathy of /r9k/.
>>81428505
You can do sports stuff with Bill too, and shoot guns to boot.
>>81426060
I really want Jon to show me who he is
I'd go with Bill. No way I could stand Jon, and while I'd actually be fine with Jerry on his own (more so than Bill on his own actually) there's a very high chance I'd get killed or worse by just being in proximity to Rick.
>>81428459
Are you literally Jerry? He doesn't really go out of his way to shit on most people. But, shit, I'd be introduced to him as Jerry's friend as per the terms of OP. Probably the worst way to meet Rick. Then again he didn't ever shit on Sleepy Gary.
Jerry, so I can pull a Sleepy Gary on him.
>>81428199
/r9k/
>memes
>funny greentext stories
>a place to unwind and complain and get the stress out of ya
VS
>clinically depressed fat man who peaked too soon in high school is could kill himself at any moment and doesn't know how to function when he finds a ray of happiness shine on him
>>81428505
jon at least tries to go on dates and has a job
i'd at least not hang with bill, only would if it lead to some sweet sweet nancy time somehow
All you fags are going to pass up the chance to hang out with John?
>>81428738
If you're hot or had good connections in broadcasting, Nancy would totally fuck you. If not, enjoy your sad bald fat man.
Bill speaks French.
>>81426060
I would choose Bill. At least he's agreeable, and totally cool with my awkward silences.
Jon is a fucking depressing wreck of a human, even compared to Bill. And Jerry is just fucking retarded, along with being the most hateful and angry of the three.
I think Bill could be fun. Hit up some restaurants, see some trash action flick, complain about things, ask if he can make you some barbecue, drink in the alley with the gang.
Wouldn't be the best day, but wouldn't be the worst either.
>>81428676
>He doesn't really go out of his way to shit on most people
He doesn't go out of his way, anon, he just does it casually. Especially if he got a whiff of you trying to buddy up to him.
>>81428519
I don't buy Rick playing Magic the Gathering, but Alien Cable sounds pretty cool. You'd probably actually be fine if there was a buffer of some sort.
Jon
Jerry is a giant faggot cuck who isn't respectable in any sense of the word and should have killed himself years ago.
Bill is a douchebag that can't be not pathetic and a decent human being at the same time and doesn't deserve good friends like Hank.
>>81427064
Actually, that's precisely why I chose Bill. I've never seen a frame of either other character with anything remotely resembling friends, and in Jon's case, no family even. I guess Jon gets women compared to Bill though, so he can't be a complete loser.
>>81428731
When was the last time you visited /r9k/, anon? Because aside from the bit about peaking in high school, your description of Bill describes /r9k/ to the letter, but with dozens of Bills all saying the same discouraging things to each other.
>>81429053
Rick would have those Yugioh projectors to make the summons real, and play super fucking hardcore anything goes style with cards from different dimensions. It's not like there's anyone to challenge him intellectually at games. Might as well go for the visceral experience of pretend competition.
>>81429126
Jon goes on dates, but doesn't get women. Bill gets a few women.
>>81429316
Ah good point. But I guess Jon tries a bit.
All of Bill's women just literally fall into his lap because of their own issues, or are complete users.
>>81429280
at least /r9k/ can spin their depression into a dark humor joke to cope
>>81429368
Bill has definitely had a few woman who actually liked him,
>>81426060
John easily. At the absolute worst we could just sit around and compare pet stories
>people choosing Bill
What about the smell!?
You forgot about the smell!
I'd pick Jon.
Not Jon, that dude is a fucking psychopath. How am I going to sit through stories of bullshit his cat said to him? Your cat doesn't fucking talk, asshole.
Bill at least tries to be a good guy, though I'd probably go with Jerry. Maybe I can get an in with his daughter...
>>81428978
>A Louisiana variant of French. It'd be the equivalent of saying someone speaking Spanish being born and raised in the Ghetto of LA.Or Portuguese
>>81426060
Bill is a complete creep. John is a loser, but constantly tries to validate himself, which would be annoying. So I'd pick Jerry. I bet I could keep him in his place easily, and I could probably beat his ass in a fight too.
>>81430182
I don't know why that's funny, but source on your pic?
It looks kind of like Lupin, but I can't be sure.
>>81430238
Yup, pretty sure it's Lupin
>>81428374
>>81428140
Fuck off, Jerry
>>81430182
That pick deserves a filename, like LAPD or something but more clever.
>>81426060
I can't remember the last time I saw Titanic, so I guess Jerry.
He seems like he'd be tolerable with booze.
1. Hang out with John.
2. Get Liz's phone number from John.
3. ????
4. Profit!
>>81430238
>>81430317
It's Lupin.
Jerry actually has it together enough to have a wife and family, and would be easy to get along with in a social setting when Rick isn't around to bring out the worst in him.
Jon seems to have no fucking clue how to interact with other humans and Bill is just a complete trainwreck of a person.
>>81430857
I just realized that they represent the spectrum of anons.
>>81428499
Pretty much this. Lasagna is worth it. But I know Garfield would be trying to eat my food.
>>81430535
>Rick would love me! I'm intelligent and nihilistic with a wicked sense of humour!
>Even though it's pretty much evidenced that he finds humans boring and only really gives a shit about his family, I remain confident that my dazzling intellect, wit and charm would win him over to my side and I would become a regular fixture in my favourite show, Rick and Morty.
k homes
>>81431886
t. Jerry
>>81432462
Do you post Rick in threads when people ask you which character you're most like?
Which STEM degree you doing, my man?
>>81426136
The dude has an obese cat that runs his life. That's a big warning sign
>>81432571
So you think more people on /co/ would feel a kinship with him.
>>81426060
I could probably convince Bill to sell his belongings to pay for a trip for me and him to Vegas and then leave his ass on the casino floor and spend the cash he gave me on blow. Don't even need to buy hookers in that city anymore cause all the women are drunken sluts
Jerry isn't really all that bad. He's only slightly dysfunctional but otherwise shows a wide range of interests.
Jerry's real shortcoming is that he's forced to compete with a man who rivals God himself, which exacerbates his self esteem issues. His lack of control over his life is almost entirely out of his control, and he has proven in many timelines where rick dies/doesn't exist to be successful or competent.
Jerry seems like a chill guy so long as Rick isn't around to be a prick and Beth isn't around to bust his balls.
>>81432733
Being interested in things doesn't make you yourself interesting
Are we all forgetting that Jerry not only survives but THRIVES in post-apocolyptic scenarios?
As long as he's not being infantilized by Rick, he's got some serious fucking drive that's borderline superhuman.
>>81432800
It makes room for conversation.
And let's face it, Jerry would have far more interesting things to talk about just by proxy of Rick.
>>81432860
I've always kind of thought that, on some level, Rick is threatened by Jerry which is one reason why he's always putting him down and trying to wreck his self-esteem.
I'd be able to convince Jerry to take me to his home. I'd then buy a house on their street and over the coming weeks and months befriend Morty and Summer. Manipulation and real love and friendship ensue.
>>81426060
Have you SEEN Bill hang with someone that's not Bobby? He's a hoot.
Did you fucks forget Bill makes the best goddamn BBQ and BBQ sauce in the show? He was shown as being a VERY GOOD BBQer.
>>81432860
He's generally shown to just be fantastic in crisis scenarios, which is a pretty cool character trait.
>>81434248
Yeah but it'll take more than a day to cook.
>>81434318
ah....goddammit I forgot about that.
>>81428140
>dying
oh no im gonna die? haha fuck yeah i dont fucking care
>Insult my intelligence
:^) well well well teasing/insulting is a thing i like.
>>81429960
>Portuguese
That shit isn't a real language. It's just a bunch of gibberish.
>>81434731
