The more I think about it, the more I wonder what went wrong here. I mean, a movie about Jonah Hex, directed and written by the guys who did Cranked 2? How the hell did this movie come out to be as bad as it was? What the hell were they thinking? I mean, on paper, this movie really should've been incredible.
>megan fox
No, it really didn't.
>>80283321
It may just be because of her turn as Furiosa, but I can't help but think that Charlize Theron would've been a perfect Tallulah Black.
Its because they tried to make a "superhero" western movie, rather than a western that just happened to be based on a comic book character.
>>80283296
The human tumor that is Megan Fox.
>>80283614
They should've made a Weird Western, rather than a superhero western. The Vertigo books would be perfect for the team that brought us the Cranked movies.
just watch bone tomahawk, it's better than most every hex comic and any adaption could be
>>80283897
That was a pretty awesome movie, but /co/ loves hex, and saying it's better than any hex comic is saying a lot.
>>80283897
Those cave people were ripped directly from a Jonah Hex story. What makes that especially weird is that, to the best of my knowledge, Hex was never involved in anything like that.
>>80283296
From an interview a few weeks back, Brolin said executive meddling was at play, twisting around everything he'd signed on for once they got a larger budget than needed. He initially signed on for what was to be a Clint Eastwood-style western in the vein of High Plains Drifter. He even said he'd be glad to return to the role if someone wants to make that sort of movie and thinks they could do it for a few million altogether, should any backers be interested.
>>80283614
Absolutely this. They shoved in stupid CGI effects and Megan Fox and Mastodon for wider appeal and destroyed it.
Everything has to be ruined for mass appeal now.
>>80284496
Have we seen who's playing Hex in Legends of Tomorrow yet?
I still dream of an AMC/HBO/Netflix series that adapts stories from the originals and from the Palmiotti and Gray run, I'd even be fine with all the dumb Gotham City tie-in stuff they did if it helps it get made.
The irony is that none of them want shows that are episodic anymore so mature shows pretty much HAVE to be serials now.
>>80283296
What the fuck makes you think the guy that wrote Crank 2 would make a good western?
Ugly cowboy has adventures. Such a simple premise but they fucked it up.
>>80283296
>"Let's shoehorn modern politics into a western setting and drown it in bad hollywood cliches! What could possibly go wrong?"
When they called the big bad "la terroriste" I somehow already knew I was in for a total shit show.
Hollywood Westerns are dead on arrival unless they're very subversive which Jonah Hex is not.
>>80283296
Crank is awful
>>80283296
>I mean, on paper, this movie really should've been incredible.
>Hex has superpowers
>shitty steam punk gadgetry thrown in, just for the sake of having brief, horribly executed action scenes
>the plot is basically a shitty a modern 'stop a terrorist from blowing up D.C' thriller retrofitted to take place in the 19th century west, hence the retarded plot device super weapon with nuke type glowing orbs as its ammo
>Megan Fox is a whore with a heart of gold, who gets dragged along for no reason and then is revealed to be Talluah Black near the end
>Hex's origin is simplified to a point where it's just "muh dead family"
>movie ends with the President offering a giant Sheriff pin to Hex and asking him to be the Sheriff of the entire country.
Yeah, no. Aside from few redeeming qualities like Fassbender and few scenes where Hex actually felt like Hex, it was awful all the way through. They even managed to turn all that gorgeous Hex comic art into looking like garbage in the opening of the movie. I swear, it couldn't have been more than two minutes in before I was already fighting the urge to just turn off the TV.
>>80285682
If this greentext is true, I'm glad I skipped this one.
>>80285066
Is that even confirmed? I thought it was just a rumor. Granted, it's a rumor that I really hope is true, but still.
>>80285090
Because they're batshit insane, love spectacle violence and have an incredibly frenetic style that would make an old west shootout into a thing of horrific beauty.
>>80285682
>the plot is basically a shitty a modern 'stop a terrorist from blowing up D.C' thriller retrofitted to take place in the 19th century west, hence the retarded plot device super weapon with nuke type glowing orbs as its ammo
...didn't they already do that once?
>>80287471
Forgot my image
>>80285682
>I mean, on paper, this movie really should've been incredible.
See >>80284496.
>He initially signed on for what was to be a Clint Eastwood-style western in the vein of High Plains Drifter.
Finally got a chance to watch this after hearing how bad it was.
It's not often that I tap out in the first 10 minutes of a movie, but this was one of those times. See webm.
Brolin was excellent as Hex. I would love to see him in the role again if the story was right.
I could deal with the "talk to the dead" bit. It lends that Weird Western vibe to the mix. But the whole Wild Wild West rehash was just awful.
>>80289438
If someone asked me what I DON'T want to see in a Jonah Hex movie, "dual wielding machine guns" would probably one of the top things.
>>80290582
They could take the script for Bone Tomahawk and, after a few alterations, it could be made into a Jonah Hex story.
>>80289438
Jesus Christ, this looks absolutely terrible.
>>80290623
Ah, gotcha
>>80287491
Wild Wild West is a way better film then Jonah Hex. It was still retarded but at least it had Kenneth Branagh chewing all the scenery and a couple of decent action moments.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zV3AZFuaJVQ
At least Wild Wild West had the grace to be insanely bad instead of just dully bad.
>>80290623
Is Hex known for hanging around with a large posse like the one Russell had in BT?
>>80290857
>Is Hex known for hanging around with a large posse like the one Russell had in BT?
When the job requires it, and he's very rarely happy about it. It's usually for cases like in Bone Tomahawk, where someone's gone missing, and the people that want the person back are insistent on accompanying him.
>>80283296
>How the hell did this movie come out to be as bad as it was?
>directed and written by the guys who did Cranked 2?
one of life's great mysteries I guess
>>80289438
thats really the long and short of it.
for some inexplicable reason.. they made Wild wild West 2.
>>80290857
And instead of a shitty pretentious score by fucking Mastodon it had a giant mechanical spider.
This thread made me go ahead and give Bone Tomahawk a watch.
WELP
