You have 30 seconds to make him smile before he crushes every bone in your body, what do you do?
I shoot his parents
>>77773649
But he wouldn't. If I was in an Arhkham game I would be a hostage or political prisoner, not a gangster.
Probably one of the blandly urbane medical or office types,because that's the kind of job I've had recently.
>>77773649
Show him a picture of the Joker.
Cum in his cheerios.
>>77773669This shouldn't be as funny as it is
>>77773649
How come gravely maiming but not killing of criminal is okay with a supposed hero?
>>77773649
Kill someone he loves in front of him. That ought to do it.
>>77773649
See, there were these two guys in a lunatic asylum... and one night, one night they decide they don't like living in an asylum any more. They decide they're going to escape! So, like, they get up onto the roof, and there, just across this narrow gap, they see the rooftops of the town, stretching away in the moon light... stretching away to freedom. Now, the first guy, he jumps right across with no problem. But his friend, his friend didn't dare make the leap. Y'see... Y'see, he's afraid of falling. So then, the first guy has an idea... He says 'Hey! I have my flashlight with me! I'll shine it across the gap between the buildings. You can walk along the beam and join me!' B-but the second guy just shakes his head. He suh-says... He says 'Wh-what do you think I am? Crazy? You'd turn it off when I was half way across!
>>77773766
Because his tagline isnt: I am "justice", I am the night. Leaving someone alive to rot in the system is vengeance....not justice.
Crush every bone in my own body. Rather do it myself
>>77773796
>>77773796
>chokes you to death
>>77773860
do you even have the strength to do that
maybe he'll crack a smirk seeing you strain to snap your femur and leave you alone
>>77773766
Because then they might have a chance to reform while having a reminder of that vicious beat down.
Show him the tape of that one time Black Mask raped Spoiler.
Remind him of that time he pissed himself during his big reveal in his first year.
He looks like he has a great sense of humor and laugh at himself easily.
I yell "Superman, help me!"
Tell him I'm gonna kick his ass. That'll get a laugh out of him.
>>77773796
Sow him my chest hair. It's shaped like a bat.
>>77773796
Why was this used in the first place? I don't really get why this particular joke was used. Was it a dementia thing?
>>77773649
Ask him to spell ICUP
>>77774132
I'm not gonna insult you, bro, but it's very straight forward considering the context.
Batman had just asked the Joker to trust him and seek help.
The Joker is saying they're both crazy. Batman's extended hand of peace is just as illusory as the flashlight beam.
Batman is just as insane as the Joker to think that it's real.
>>77774175
Thanks, I didn't know the context, I just knew the reference.
>>77774234
No prob.
You should read the comic.
It's really short and worth it
>>77774175
It's especially funny since he joins in a laugh on the same fucking night the daughter of his best friend, who's also one of his sidekicks, has forever crippled.
>Goddamn it Batman, my fucking baby girl is crippled and you're laughing? FUCK YOU
>>77774254But Batman then chokes the Joker to death
>>77773649
I stare very intently into his eyes, the darkness of the void in me swallowing back onto his. I cast my eyes like a righteous prophets casts the Lord's commandments and I hold it against all of the wrath and all of the fear behind his own.
And then, with power of my certainty and the unflappability of my convictions, with the very core that is, I say unto him at the last moment, I don't shout, I say:
"Pudding"
>>77773649
Remind him of this "gem."
Tell him I only did it to meet him and promptly hand over everything
>>77773649
I tell him he was the basis of a Prince and Seal song
knock knock
>>77773735It's funny because they're already dead.
>>77774383
Who's there?
>>77775499Not your parents
>>77773649Man who had a bat symbol sliced into his shirt with a batarang:What are you gonna do, slice a bat symbol into my shirt with a batarang?
>>77773649
"Bruce, your mommy loved you very much."
>>77773649
I take off my pants, works with all my dates
;-;
>>77773649
Become Superman
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QLeBfeXlPBc
>Jingle bells, Batman smells...
>*fighting back a grin* Nooooo
>>77775519
Not my parents who?
>>77776114
Henry Cavill looks like a very kind uncle. Your dad is an ass, but his brother is pretty cool
>>77773649
I show him my penis.
>>77773649
Tell one of Jim Gordon's jokes.
>>77773649
I tell him a joke.the punchline is my face
>>77776517
>Jason Todd coffee mug
HA!
>>77773649
"Why did the Scarecrow win an award?"
"He was outstanding in his field."
>>77773649
Aren't you a little short for a superhero?
>>77773649
Get down on one knee and Bat propose to him.
>>77776550
[slow clap intensifies]
You wouldn't hit a guy without a complex mental problem, would you?
>>77773649
He steps in a trap where he's left hanging upside down
>>77773649
>im a big guy for you lets get this hothead outta here! This isn't a trial So you came back to die with you're city off courshe I failed you Bruce
"You were the bomb in Phantoms."
Tell him I'm Bruce Wayne
>>77773649
Show him my ideas to make Arkham Knight better
>>77773649
Show him my 1 inch dick
>>77776086
FUCKING SPIDER
GET OUT OF HERE
>>77776374
...y-your parents are dead.
That's the joke.
>>77773649
Kiss him.
On the lips.
Ask him how his day has been.
I bet nobody ever thinks to do that. He must have stuff to say.
captcha: smallwood
>>77777777
Show him an orphan.
>>77776517
>>77773649
Suck both his dicks.
let out a long nervous fart
>>77773649
>Be Tim
Tell him I know that he's Bruce Wayne, and it he touches me I'm going to blab to the media about it.
>>77788763
>Tell him I know that he's Bruce Wayne, and it he touches me I'm going to blab to the media about it.
You're supposed to make him smile, not give him further justifications to beat you into a coma.
>>77788820
BUT HIS CODE
>>77778560
Tte only thing he'll let you kiss is his fist.
>>77788910
Says nothing about beating you into a coma then keeping you in a drugged state until the end of your days.
>>77773649
>"So...punched any clowns in the face lately?"
>"...."
>"Well, I did. It's a hoot!"
>* :P * *Pafff-zzzzziiip* *Ba na na naaaaa*
That was as close as I ever got. Took three seconds and was a Monday. Now, whenever anyone asks if I have a case of the Mondays I yell "Justice" and run around with my arm over my face.
>>77773649
Suck his wiener.
>>77793151
He predicted you'd do that and is already sucking himself off, I suggest you quickly leave.
>>77777274
Underrated Post
I once had an idea for a standalone mini where the Joker and Bamham beat eachother up so bad, until they're both on the floor broken and dying.
Joker says he has a joke, but Bruce tells him to save it, but he insists and says its a genuine one.
Joker tells it, and dies laughing.
Batmun does a little "...Pfft." before croaking too.
>>77778550
I dont get it
Give him Green Lantern rings.
>>77773814
>Because his tagline isnt: I am "justice"
Why isn't it though? It seems like that's all Batman cares about anyway.
>>77773796
>>77773649
A kid enter into a bar with his family.... and his parents gets shot in front of him.
>>77773649
Hey B-Man I just saw Ra's drag your parents to the nearest Laz pit, wanna check it out?
>>77773796
Can I vocaroo this? I know its from Killing Joke, but I've been trying to craft a Joker voice -not THE Joker voice, but a Hammil/DiMaggio inspired rendition
>>77773649
Tell him that Joker is my dad
