Was the tale of the Argonauts the first ever team-up crossover event?
>>71158716
Didn't the Iliad precede it?
Actually, if anything Greek mythology itself is just a merging of three different pantheons.
>>71158784
it is?
>>71158784
>>71158823
>Didn't the Iliad precede it
No, the Story of Jason and the Argonauts takes place a generation before the Trojan War.
Unless you mean preserved as a story, then yes.
>>71158716
Is this from the same mural?
>>71158716
i wanna say gilgamesh and enkidu were the first teamup
>>71158885
The Epic of Gilgamesh was the first Buddy Cop story.
>>71158784
Nope, The Trojan War is the Infinity War to the Argonauts Avengers.
>>71158885
But Enkidu was introduced in the Epic of Gilgamesh.
A crossover would be Gilgamesh meets Lugalbanda.
>Roman gods are just greek gods with new names
I see the swiping of characters isn't new either.
>>71158885
Gilgamesh and Enkidu appeared in the same work at the same time.
With Jason, all the great heroes of the Generation before the Trojan War got together and went on wacky adventures. Including fucking a group of stinky ladies that only Hercules, Herakles, absented from.
I wonder if when it came out it was advertised with something like: NOTHING WILL EVER BE THE SAME AGAIN.
>>71158885
World's Finest?
>>71158885
Gilgamesh had the first crossover. The dude he meets in/near the underworld is supposed to have his own lost story cycle.
>>71158980
>Rome did a universe reset DC-style, to apply retcons, mostly name changes.
>Greece's face when
>>71158980
They're actually not. The Roman deities have their own stories and personalities.
What happened is that they were naturally cognate, as in they're both indo-european deities, then Greece became an influence on the Romans, and the Romans reforged their own Mythology around the Greek cognates.
For example, Jove never fights Saturn for the Crown, and there is no Titanomachy in Roman Mythology. Also, Jove and Juno are twins.
Jove is also much more of an ethereal deity than Zeus was.
>>71159058
>One god on earth teams up with one peak human
It works.
I always found it strange that Alexander the Great features in the Koran.
On a related note,Ishtar/Innanagot a cartoon recently.
There is nothing new under the Heaven.
>>71158939
Bless this post.
>>71158923
>The Epic of Gilgamesh was the first Buddy Cop story.
Following that logic, wouldn't that make the Argonauts the first road trip story?
>>71159204
>I always found it strange that Alexander the Great features in the Koran
Not so weird, Cyrus the Great is in the bible, and the Israelites totally loved him.
>>71159204
>I always found it strange that Alexander the Great features in the Koran.
[citation needed]
>>71158885
>4100 years later.
>We still can't get away from Gilgamesh.
I can't decide if it's a sign that the Epic of Gilgamesh was amazingly creative, or if it shows that people are amazingly uncreative.
![Perseus_(Benvenuto_Cellini)_2013_February[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/YdYprif.jpg "Perseus_(Benvenuto_Cellini)_2013_February[1].jpg")
I'm trying to get more into Perseus, /co/, any recs on runs? I already read the Medusa arc, but I dropped it once Andromeda showed up.
>>71159344
Nah, after Medusa, it's all baout him and Andromeda running around. You should try Bellerophon.
Although things don't really get good until Theseus.
>>71158980
It's more like the Romans started copying and applying attributes of the Greek Gods to their own Gods.
There was a general trend of equaling gods at the time, and they applied with great vigor with the Greek ones, even in points that really couldn't fit (like Ares/Mars, Mars was one of the most respected Roman deities, while Ares is basically a barbarian, and yet some later depictions of Mars have him nude, rather than in armor, just because they're copying Ares)
Meanwhile, in Japan...
>>71159429
>Meanwhile in Japan 1200 years later
>>71158885
That means that Noah's arc is the first mockbuster?
>>71159344
>Greekfags
I'll stick with my superior Bible stories thank you.
>>71159321
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alexander_the_Great_in_the_Quran
>>71159487
The bible is the Bollywood of the ancient world.
>>71159487
This. Fucking Helleneboos. They only care about action and fan service.
Friendly reminder that Hades and Athena are the only Greek Gods that aren't fucking awful people.
>tfw you will never have a bro like Hermes
>>71159533
Is that an insult or a compliment?
This look like a good opportunity to repost this:
http://www.pompeiana.org/resources/ancient/graffiti%20from%20pompeii.htm
>>71158885
>The part where Gilgamesh calls out the goddess of love for being a massive slut
We really havent changed and I love it
>>71159429
I can't find it at the moment, but there's a picture demonstrating how greek statue canon spread east to Japan, over the course of about 1000 years, thanks to Alexander.
I honestly wouldn't be surprised if it turned out that every singly Old World civilization was ultimately a spin on ancient Mesopotamian cultures.
>>71159563
Yes.
>>71159563
Obviously a compliment.
>>71159558
>Implying Athene isn't the superior Bro
>Sexy
>Brilliant
>Pure
Perfect waifu-bro
>>71158980
They kinda liked the Greek gods, and in a way or another got heavy influenced by their culture, however a lot of details and concepts got retconned because it was ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING for them. All the homoerotic stuff got erased, Hades turned into god of...the crops (because their belief about after life was completely different), almost all incest got revamped with new pairs and so on
That way, Roman were actually the first tumblr of the world
>>71159557
Athena turned a girl into a spider for daring to weave better than her. Athena is responsible for spiders!
>>71159601
>implying you'd ever get any from the fucking virgin goddess
>>71159462
>Exodus was the dark knight rises
>Mr. Moses I'm Yaweh
>first one to put blood on their doorstep gets to live
>tell me about ramses why does he enslave the jews
>thats a big sea
>for you
BRAVO YAHWEH
R
A
V
O
>>71159618
>the first tumblr of the world
What does this even mean?
>>71159579
>>71159565
fantastic
>>71159557
Athena transformed an innocent women into a Spider, was partially responsible for the Trojan war, and transformed Medusa into a hideous monster because she got raped.
>>71159462
It sounds like a Crisis event. They killed off everyone except one guy then restarted the world.
>>71159601
>implying Athena, Hera and Aphrodite were not huge sluts
>implying Artemis is not the only pure qt tomboy
>>71159618
Nope, not entirely. The Romans used their indigenous Gods and morphed them with the Greek cognates.
>>71159579
Found it, also goes into detail here;
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Greco-Buddhist_art
>>71159565
Read my mind.
>>71159019
So was that guy that drowns and Heracles stays behind to find his body likely his homo fuck buddy?
>>71159638
She'd probably do oral and anal.
>>71159642
>If I keep your people enslaved, would you leave?
>It would be extremely unholy
>That's a big plague
>for you
>>71158885
Gilgamesh started the trend of "They don't die forever"
>>71159733
>Did you come here to die?
>No, I came for my people
>>71159553
You guys are the worst
With your moralfaggotry, Deus Ex finales, unilateral villains and overpowered heroes. If none of those ever catch up, just retconn the whole thing or invent riddles with no meanings whatsoever
The way you all disregard the philosophically importance of Greek myths is pathetic
>Superior greek myth
What is a god, and what is a man?
>Shitty biblical story
OBEY
>>71159557
>Athena
>turned Medusa into a monster for having the audacity to get raped by Poseidon within Athena's temple
>not awful
All the Olympians were horrible, brah.
>>71159741
No, he started the trend of
GET OVER IT WHEN YOUR FRIENDS DIE YOU MOPEY FUCK
>>71159601
>>71159686
>Liking greek gods
>Implying skadi is not the superior all around godless
PROSTAGMA A SHIT
>>71159487
>the new testament
Yeah no. The Synoptic Gospels are good but then fucking Paul appears and ruins everything, literally one of the worst characters ever created. The Apocalypse was fun though, based John.
>>71159772
But Enkidu comes back
>>71159688
So are we talking Darkseid into Thanos, or Marvel and Ultimate marvel?
>>71159733
>someone get this hotbush outta here
>>71159784
No he doesn't what version are you reading
Gilgamesh just ends up thinking his walls are really cool
>>71159557
>Hades
>not fucking awful people
Hephaestus comes to mind as the only god that never ever did any dick move against anyone. Someone prove me wrong.
>>71159771
Hades was alright. He let Persephone get away from her overbearing mother.
>>71159685
>except one guy
You must be one of those casuals that think god made ONLY Adam and Eve as humans in the creation arc
>>71159777
>then fucking Paul appears
Muhammadan detected
>>71159557
>not Hephaestus
>not Hermes
>not Hestia
You are right about Hades tho.
>>71159809
Tries to rape girls
First Nice Guy in the world
>>71159809
>liking the literal cuck god
>>71159771
Poseidon didnt rape medusa, he was a god, Athena was just pissed they boned in her temple.
>>71159826
Get your headcanon out of here.
>>71159642
>>71159733
>>71159750
>>71159803
>>71159796
More like Spider-Man to Blue Beetle II.
>>71159809
He tried to rape Athena
>>71159688
You mean their barbarians colonies, because Romans elite despised such concepts
A lot of emperors tip their fedora saying they need no gods, only armies and the like
>>71159733
>Egypt is yours!
>None shall interfere, do as you please!
I want to run an ancient chinese myth adaptation by /co/.
The updated modern audience version has the greatest archer ever. In it 10 firey portals to a demon world open as legions of demons invade. He fights them off but must resort to shooting out the portals in the sky to stop them. He lets the last one stay though cause the earth needs it as a sun so while mostly stopped some demons can still come through while earth retains it's last sun.
The original is aboutthe greatest archer ever. There were ten suns in the sky. It got really hot in the summers cause of the ten suns which irritated the archer so he shot them out of the sky and stopped at the last one cause someone else stopped him saying the world needs at least one sun.
Which does /co/ like better?
>>71159809
>Hephaestus
>tried to rape Athena
>not a dick and cuck
>>71159809
Hephaestus shamed his poor mother by being born ugly
>>71159863
Considering that Athena let Poseidon rape Medusa and then got pissed at Medusa for it I'd say she had it coming.
>>71159777
>Paul
>bad
Come on, who doesn't like a good villain turning into a good guy story? Plus it turned Christianity into a universal religion rather than a Jewish cult.
>>71159831
>Tries to rape girls
He did? Well crap.
What about Dionysus? Did he ever try to date-rape some passed out girl? Or Hermes? That guy was cool, right?
Anyone up forlewd?
>>71159809
Well, he did create all those weapons that were used to slaughter countless lives, so....
>>71159809
explain one actually malevolent action that Hades ever performed
>>71159809
>literal cuck
>lays a trap that cages Ares and Aphrodite
>they just end up fucking in the cage
>All the other Olympians laugh
>>71159957
Don't kidnap girls, Hades.
>>71159928
no he just wants his followers to tear everyone they meet apart literally
>>71159928
>Did he ever try to date-rape some passed out girl
Bacchus is like the God of Date Rape, anon. He turns girls into raving butt sluts with his wine and his devil music.
>>71159937
Damn, that's more explicit than my modern chinese comics.
>>71159922
But he was such a dick afterwards
>I'm an apostle! J-jesus spoke to me too! Stop laughing at me guys! I'm going to go write some letters.
>>71159771
Hermes taught his loser son Pan to fap, that's a brodad
>>71159957
He kidnapped Persephone. Though to be fair, I think he got Zeus' permission to do this before hand so that just makes Zeus a giant douchebag along with Hades.
>>71159928
His Bacchae go around raping and eating men.
>>71159957
Proserpina.
>>71159957
>>71159809
[pic]
>>71159928
>Dionysus
>god of wine and madness
Date rape is literally all he knows how to do.
>>71158784
Timeline wise the Epic Cycle is the end of the Age of Heroes. The whole purpose of the Trojan War was to cleanse the Earth of demigods.
In a historic sense it explains why the Dorians rekt the Mycenaens.
All other myths basically precede it except for like the Aeneid.
>>71159344
i giggled
>>71159987
Keep it up, Uthman, Paul was a bro.
Sure his views were a little archaic, but his heart was in the right place. Peter a best though.
>>71159969
>>71159998
>>71160011
Demeter, please, your girl found a nice god and you're just being a dotting mother.
>>71159831
>>71159863
I don't know why he even bothered, he has robot girls with fleshy sex parts.
>>71159852
26 Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals,[a] and over all the creatures that move along the ground.”
27
So God created mankind in his own image,
in the image of God he created them;
male and female he created them.
28 God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground.”
(...)
Adam Eve is a big parenthesis in how god actually created mankind, how Adam was created to be their leader, and how they dun goofed
Hell, why do you think God takes the whole Old testament trying to find a PURE LEADER again and again?
Also Jesus nickname is second Adam, go figure
>>71159890
The second one doesn't seem to have a lot of substance
>>71159984
>50 minutes of oral
This guy is bad at it.
Fuck all the Greek Gods. They're all assholes. The Egyptian Gods and Goddesses are actually nice or at least not fucking terrible.
>>71160038
>All other myths basically precede it except for like the Aeneid
I legitimately like the Aeneid better. Sure, it's not as big at multiple characters being developed, lol Achates, but it's a great Character Story.
Far from the rap it gets as being Augustine propaganda solely. Plus, the fact that it's literary and not Oral makes it a much finer read.
>>71160091
>not liking cranky archer mad at the damn heat and rearranging the cosmos
>>71159922
>didn't even met Jesus
>helped to kill Stephen
>teaches shit that jews believed and contradicts what Jesus said
>shittalks the apostles
This is making me want a cartoon about the twelve olympians so bad.
>>71160095
>Egyptian Gods
>literally cucked by a get of slaves
>>71158716
>Was the tale of the Argonauts the first ever team-up crossover event?
Gilgamesh and Enkidu is classic comic book crossover event.
Hero runs into other hero, they fight, put their differences aside, work together and become best friends.
>>71160038
So Trojan War was the very first Crisis?
>>71160170
Then who's the DC version of Eris?
>>71160148
>Mythological cartoons
Hercules was great, though.
>>71159336
The monomyth is real and Gilgamesh just so happens to be the earliest example modern humans know of.
I guess you could take that as people being uncreative, but we're only as limited as the universe we inhabit.
>>71159733
Everyone knows that the Jesus arc is the DKR of Bible
>Was getting caught part of your plan?
>Of course!
>If I crucify you will die?
>It would be extremely painful
>You are a fake messiah
>For you
>Well, congratulations, you got yourself caught, what is part of your master plan?
>CRASHING THIS WORLD....WITH FEW SURVIVORS!
>>71160190
Psycho Pirate
>>71159969
>>71160011
He had her father's blessing
In the morals of that time it's not really evil at all.
The only real evil thing is that he tricked Proserpina into staying with the pom wonderful
>>71160138
I'm just saying it seems like a really short story
>>71159928
I don't remember Hermes raping anyone but he has creepy children so he must fuck weird
>>71160148
Granted, but it's yet another Seth Macfarlane cartoon.
>Oh man he's more mad than Hades when we were dividing the world up!
>>71160095
Remember that time Isis almost set a human baby on fire because she thought it would make him immortal? They may have been nice but they were fucking stupid.
>>71158823
Titans, Gods, Demigods
>>71160148
>the twelve olympians
Zeus, Hera, Apollo, Athena, Ares, Aphrodite, Poseidon, Hades, Hermes, Heracles, Kratos, and Michael Phelps?
>>71160107
The nice thing about the Aeneid is that its a compilation of a whole bunch of myths that existed prior. The Augustus-wank was just the times And Maecaenas being literally history's first obstructive CEO.
Speaking of Epics, they've reassembled a version of the Seven Against Thebes and I cant wait to read it.
>>71159336
>>We still can't get away from Gilgamesh.
We can, the attempts that do just aren't as popular.
We have stories about the most absurd things, but because it's not a typical story everyone can appreciate, everyone doesn't read it.
That doesn't mean to those who do it isn't special.
>>71159777
>dissing Paul and Barnabus' Excellent Adventures
I'll fight you m8.
>>71160208
bullshit jesus was the MoS of the Bible
>>71160095
I saw a panel here about some Egyptian guy putting semen on a lettuce and giving it to his uncle or something like that, anyone knows the name and issue?
>>71160241
I thought the fire would have made the baby immortal but the human mother lacked the faith in Isis to let the goddess do it.
Kinda like a opposite Binding of Isaac.
>>71160217
In the morals of the time being Zeus wasn't being a dick either.
>>71160255
But Jesus don't killed anyone
Also I don't recall Jerusalem being on ashes in the finale
>>71160170
I suppose, or Secret Wars, in the sense EVERYTHING DIES.
Hell the build up is about as convaluted as Hickvengers.
>>71160241
>Remember that time Isis almost set a human baby on fire because she thought it would make him immortal? They may have been nice but they were fucking stupid.
lol this faggot
She was right, it WOULD have made him immortal if that bitch let her finish.
>>71160208
I like the Markan Jesus the best.
>Jesus, don't you care that we'll all die
>Do you still not believe
>>71160244
No, Jackie Chan stupid!
>>71160303
He killed the fig tree
>>71160148
I think it'd make a really good Netflix series or something. Start off with an adaption of the Theogony mixed with Works and Days/some surviving plays, flesh out the origin stories of the other gods, move onto the Age of Heroes with everyone's individual hero myth and the Argonauts as the season climax, then do the Illiad/Odyssey. Maybe as a change of pace they do the mythological version of Alexander's life as a series finale.
>>71160348
It didn't have any fruit.
>>71160303
>forgetting the whole earthquake after he died
>>71160303
"Then the Lord will go forth and fight against those nations as when He fights on a day of battle."
>Also I don't recall Jerusalem being on ashes in the finale
Obviously you never read the mega crossover in Revelations.
So did Gaia ever do anything terrible?
>>71160348
It was already dead
>>71160361
>being this bigoted
>>71160298
>fire would have made the baby immortal but the human mother lacked the faith in Isis to let the goddess do it.
Isn't that the Hymm to Demeter? Did they steal that from Egypt too?
>>71160391
kenshiro pls
>>71160388
She made Typhon to kill her children.
>>71159565
>Weep, you girls. My penis has given you up. Now it penetrates men’s behinds. Goodbye, wondrous femininity!
>“Restituta, take off your tunic, please, and show us your hairy privates”.
>At Nuceria, look for Novellia Primigenia near the Roman gate in the prostitute’s district.
>I screwed the barmaid
>Floronius, privileged soldier of the 7th legion, was here. The women did not know of his presence. Only six women came to know, too few for such a stallion.
>To the one defecating here. Beware of the curse. If you look down on this curse, may you have an angry Jupiter for an enemy.
>Defecator, may everything turn out okay so that you can leave this place
>Celadus the Thracian gladiator is the delight of all the girls
>Theophilus, don’t perform oral sex on girls against the city wall like a dog
>Atimetus got me pregnant
>Secundus likes to screw boys.
>Sollemnes, you screw well!
>My lusty son, with how many women have you had sexual relations?
> Apollinaris, the doctor of the emperor Titus, defecated well here
>R O M A
>O L I M
>M I L O
>A M O R
>>71160237
Maybe it's because I just marathoned the last 3 seasons, but I can only imagine it more like Archer.
With H. Jon Benjamin as Zeus.
>>71160403
Most religion, such as Christianity, Judaism, and Islam, can be traced back to Egyptian mythology so it's certainly likely.
>>71160366
People just killed god's son, the fuck they expected? Also it only killed some sacerdotal, so nothing of value was lost
>>71160387
Revelation arc sucks. Guess it was 2deep4me
>>71160208
>Mister Judas, I'm Pontius Pilot
>The one I kiss is the one you want
>And why would I want him?
>He works for the prophet. The messiah
>Jesus?
>>71160392
>grasping at this many straws
face it, Jesus was a bro. He died for your sins and didn't afraid of nothing, except death.
>>71160436
I love the ancient Roman shitposting.
>>71160388
She got Kronus to castrate Uranus, but only in retaliation for how much Kronus was hurting her. It's probably one of those things where it's intended to be seen as adickmove but a modern perspective makes it seem sympathetic, sort of like the opposite of the Hades/Persephone situation.
>>71160431
She had good reasoning to do that.
>>71160388
Yes
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Giants_%28Greek_mythology%29#The_Gigantomachy
>>71160436
There's this one that a besieging soldier flung over the city walls that basically said, "Give up, we know you're starving in there, retard."
>>71160348
>>71160361
This story has always kind of confused me
I'm not sure what the moral is.
Kill the unproductive?
>>71160431
Typhon did nothing wrong. Zeus was brutalizing the Titans, the rest of the Olympian generation, and was two seconds away from destroying humanity if not for Prometheus.
>>71160083
> The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”
>yfw woman is the magic sword of man to help in his quest
>>71160548
It's the same thing Jesus was always saying. The good shall be separated from the bad, and the bad will be burnt alive.
>>71160548
figgots need to die
>>71160460
>people still believe this shit
This isn't the early 2000's. Anyone with half a brain will tell you the Horus/Christ connection is a load of shit.
>>71160387
>Obviously you never read the mega crossover in Revelations.
Does Jesus' power reach maximum levels there? Because I was waiting for that to happen every other arc.
>>71160548
Some have taken it to mean, "Kill those who aren't fruitful." Like gay people and asexuals and stuff, but I think your version is most correct.
Those who aren't fulfilling their duty are not living their lives properly.
>>71160587
I have to agree with Russel here, the whole Hell thing is a big mark on the stain of Christendom. Maybe if it weren't Eternal, that'd be one thing.
>>71160610
>fig enabler
>>71160483
>Tell me about the Messiah, why he wears purple?
>>71160483
>Nolan will never direct a movie on the New Testament
>>71160570
No shit, look up the Catholic interpretations of the story of the Fall in Genesis, where it's read to foreshadow Mary's role in the salvation narrative.
now you got me curious as to what would happen in Nolan, Snyder and Whedons versions of the bible
>>71160570
Then explain Lilith.
>>71160666
>5775 In the Age of our Earth
>Being Satan
>>71160654
>Some have taken it to mean, "Kill those who aren't fruitful." Like gay people and asexuals and stuff, but I think your version is most correct.
>Those who aren't fulfilling their duty are not living their lives properly.
I've literally never heard that first interpretation before.
Whenever I hear about it, it's usually in the same context as the parable of the talents, make good use of the time God gives you.
I'l admit, I had never heard of Cú Chulainn untilFate/stay nightbut after looking him up I gotta wonder why hasn't this guys adventures been adapted to anything yet?
>>71160654
I think it's the Zoroastrians who have a neat system. At death you've got a bridge over a firey lake. If you're a dick in this world, the bridge is narrower. For good people it's wide and easy to cross. But if you fall in, you suffer there for a thousand years before they let you out.
>>71160636
Jesus gets a superform where his skin turns ruby red and his hair turns white. He can spit swords. He goes even further beyond.
>>71160700
Remnant of matriarchal worship from religious traditions in Asia Minor that crossbred with Judeo-Christian tradition.
>>71160244
>everyone forgets about the best Olympian, Dionysus
Where were you when Set spunked on his enemies, and ate jizz?
http://bettermyths.com/set-jizzes-on-his-enemies/
Also: Greco-Buddhist art is phenomenally intriguing. Take Hercules, for example. Culturally disseminating through the East, eventually showing up in Japan.
Goes to show that societies aren't worlds apart.
>>71160700
Non Canonical.
>>71160712
>I've literally never heard that first interpretation before
I have by people who want to trump up Christ against the gays.
>>71160734
Zoroastrianism is GOAT. Zurvanism is the best.
>>71160719
The Slaine: Horned King series of comics is pretty much exactly that.
>>71160654
"Kill those who aren't fruitful" would go against Jesus mentioning what may well be asexuals.
>The disciples said to him, "If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry."
>Jesus replied, "Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given.
>For there are eunuchs who were born that way, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others--and there are those who choose to live like eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it."
Plus you know...the fact that Jesus was a virgin too probably would mean he's not holding it against someone if they don't procreate.
>>71160719
Cause no one knows about him cause the British oppressed the Irish. Also he wasn't THAT big. And the Irish never really got into the entertainment buisness like the jews
Monkey King vs Heracles
Who wins?
>>71160548
Jesus message was always "DO FUCKING SOMETHING"
It was by this account that the Romans started seeing him as a potential enemy, he was starting a rebellion, but not in armies (like Judas wanted) but intellectually
Some even argue that Jesus wanted everyone to be their own Jesus, their own judge on things, another fact that collaborated to the temple elite seeing him as a enemy as well, resulting in the finale we all know
So the metaphor was mostly "there's some big, impressive people on this world, but when you see it closely, it is rotten and don't produce a thing, so it's not that hard to break it"
A hardcore message, indeed
So do we know for sure as to why Hebrews stopped worshiping Asherah?
>>71160766
>Goes to show that societies aren't worlds apart
Works the other way too; take this, found in Pompeii.
>>71160695
>And the blood of the guilty will flow out from the winepress of God's wrath. The saints will become drunk upon the wine and celebrate.
>Thus saith the sinner: "I don't see how that's a celebration."
>>71160680
>No! I know him not!
>No! I know him not!
>No! I know him not!
>>71160282
Horus and Seth, which is was a reflect of internal wars between the two Egyptian Kingdoms.
Basically, the High Egypt worshipped Horus, and the Low Egypt (I don't remember the exact names) worshipped Seth. Seth originally wasn't a bad guy, it was close to Ares, because he was a protector of the soldiers and granted courage and stuff. Anyway, point is, there was a civil war between both kingdoms, and when High Egypt won, they decided to establish Horus as the only cult all across the nation, and mocked Seth in most possible ways.
>Seth never had sex with hot females.
>He only managed to fuck in the ass (aka: non-reproductive sex) a tomboy goddess, which for all purposes could have been a trap.
The history you're talking was about Horus and Seth trying to decide once for all who was the boss. He asked Horus to appear in front of the ancient Gods, and his plan was to trick him into eating his sperm smeared in a lettuce, and then using magic to show Horus was filled with his seed, which would prove once for all Seth was the bull and Horus his bitch. Unfortunately, his plan backfired and Horus pulled a switcheroo, so Seth became the laughing stock of the Egyptian mythology.
>>71160825
I thought the Romans didn't give a shit and it was just the Pharases and Herod who didn't like Jesus
>>71160784
Complete celibacy in the priesthood isn't a STRICT matter of faith in the Catholic church(it could possibly be changed by the Pope and/or Magisterium at some point and still be valid) and I've actually known priests with special dispensations that have a wife and kids.
But the general reason for why it's required in most cases now boils down to "well, Jesus did it first, so we will too" and the fact that it's extremely hard to juggle personal family life and running a parish community.
Also, the Church has vocations for unmarried laity as well. So in that tradition at least, Jesus certainly wasn't speaking against asexual people.
>>71160825
Barring some things, Jesus' message was pretty sound.
I personally think everyone should read the bible, in a secular manner if you're not faithful. It's just so important in Western Culture and so few people understand what and why it is.
I think if people did this, there'd be a lot less blind bickering between Theists and Atheists.
>''Now there was leaning on Jesus' bosom, one of his disciples, whom Jesus loved.''
>muh ship literally died
>>71160852
Goddamn mythology is full of weird shit.
>>71160636
It's not clear that his power grows but he definitely shows off more
He becomes a beast with seven eyes and seven horns, vanquishes the Leviathan, and opens the seven seals that bind the scroll of the apocalypse.
>>71160855
Because they were worried he'd spark up a revolution which they knew the romans would stamp down on hard. It's kinda subversive to go around and have your entourage proclaiming you as a new king.
>>71160852
>He asked Horus to appear in front of the ancient Gods, and his plan was to trick him into eating his sperm smeared in a lettuce, and then using magic to show Horus was filled with his seed, which would prove once for all Seth was the bull and Horus his bitch
That's fucking hilarious
>>71160852
>tomboy goddess
She got a name? It's for...historical research.
>>71160244
>tfw Hades wasn't Olympian
Poor guy.
>>71160936
theology wise I think it'd be heresy to teach that Jesus is "stronger" in revelations. He's the third part of a single omnipotent being. Therefore even as a human he should have been able to destroy the universe with just a thought.
>>71160975
Pilate was also worried that if he didn't do as the Jewish leaders demanded of him, then there'd be outright rioting in the streets.
Also, in the nativity stories, Herod (the Roman-instituted ruler of the area of the time) saw the prophesied birth of the Messiah as a direct threat to his own power and had all infant boys under the age of two killed.
>>71160936
>It's not clear that his power grows but he definitely shows off more
>He becomes a beast with seven eyes and seven horns, vanquishes the Leviathan, and opens the seven seals that bind the scroll of the apocalypse.
Sounds like an ambiguous conceptual fight that leads to a GAINAX END.
Maybe I'll wait for the Rebuild version.
>>71160680
>Moviegoers rave it as the best movie of the year.
>Film scholars will go apeshit at analyzing every detail.
>/tv/ will make memes out of it.
>>71159975
That sounds metal as fuck.
>>71161038
And you are correct. The most widely-accepted Christology has Jesus as fully human and fully divine natures while incarnated on Earth. So all the power and authority he had while with the Father in heaven he also had claim to while on Earth.
>>71160388
Giants.
She also got pissy at Zeus because all the demigods were weighing her down. So Zeus orchestrated the Trojan War to kill them all and stop her bitching.
>>71160920
So's Seth.
>>71160734
So if you suffer from vertigo, you suffer for a thousand years? If you were a gymnast in life you get through easy?
>>71161125
look up the Maenads.
He had literal groupies that followed his parties that would go berserk and rip people into a bloody mess
>>71160700
>>71160769
Semi canonical actually. Some parts of the Lilith myth is alluded on the Old Testament canon that we know, but she is never called directly
Lilith by the canon still not that different from Eve in "helping man". The thing is that she gets bored and goes away, leaving Adam to fap alone. It is important to note that the material used in Eve and Lilith creation are a important part of about what they represent, just like everything else in Genesis, it has lots of lots of mystical pre-kabbalistic meanings. Lilith was created from the same dirt that Adam was created, and at the same time,making her by default Adam 2.0, and not Adam's Waifu
That goes along with Lilith wanting to create her own world and fucking Satan in order to have her children, in eternal jealousy of the "God's people"
So yeah, Lilith is Lemongrab
>>71160825
All things considered the Roman opposition to Christianity started for A: to keep the Jews from rebelling and B: Because the practices were very weird and cult like.
Pliny's letter to Trajan is actually really interesting in this regard. He talks about how Christians are really moral and everything, but they meet in sewers and talk about eating flesh and what not.
The vast majority of christian persecution in Ancient Rome came from the populace, not from the government.
>>71160759
>everyone forgets about the weird drunk uncle
He's not even a full god and he took Hestia's seat
>>71160436
proto 4chan.
>>71160898
In fact, Priests being celibate wasn't even a compulsory thing until later in the Middle ages. Of course it was encouraged, but not mandatory.
>>71160975
It also might have been to set an example. There were probably a bunch of Itinerant preachers bopping about, dissing the Romans and critiquing Hebrew authorities. The other one we see is John, to whom Jesus was most likely a disciple.
I've also always been fond of interpertations of Judas as either faithful to Judea or as faithful to Christ. I don't think the big G would make him evil when he was a necessary facet in the supposed salvation of mankind.
Also, does /co/ like Maria?
>>71161136
Nice
>>71161197
>>71160759
>The Twelve Olympians
>Sometimes there's like 15
>>71161214
I have it in my backlog, I should start watching it before all the hype dies down and I'm stuck with no one to talk too about it.
>>71161197
>he took Hestia's seat
and nothing of value was lost
>>71160695
Nolan would probably make some psychological thriller out of some stories.
Snyder would do something akin to that Noah movie.
Whedon would force his atheist beliefs and have God shit on the protagonists all the time.
>>71161197
Dionysus is actually a full God. It's murky, but I guess you could write it off as him being born from Zeus.
>>71161179
>The vast majority of christian persecution in Ancient Rome came from the populace, not from the government.
Nero and Diocletian were pretty fucking serious about feeding Christians to the lions among other various things.
Being a Christian was straight-up illegal because they didn't profess loyalty to the emperor-as-divinity type worship that the Romans had instituted.
>>71161214
>I've also always been fond of interpertations of Judas as either faithful to Judea or as faithful to Christ.
Judas wasn't outright traitorous until Jesus' teaching on "you must eat my body and drink my blood to be saved" in John 6, then he went to the Pharisees to say "holy shit, this guy is nuts, you need to do something about it", but John also tells us that he was straight-up stealing from their collected funds, so we can assume that Judas was still kind of a dick regardless.
>>71161038
Okay this is becoming pretty interesting.
During his first lifetime, Jesus presents the following powers
>human parthenogenesis
>control over animals or maybe just omniscience (catching tons of fish)
>healing up to resurrection of the dead (Lazarus)
>control over nature (calms the storm on the boat)
>exorcism (expulsion of Legion)
>not sure what this would be (feeding the 5000)
>density manipulation via faith? (walking on water and giving this ability to his disciples as well if they believe that they can)
>hexing (curses the fig tree to death)
Jesus is pretty powerful to begin with if you ask me
>>71161197
For all we talk about nice gods Hestia was the nicest of them all.
>>71161348
Isn't Dionysus the only Greek god to die?
>>71160825
Jesus did not exist in real life, stop talking like he existed.
>>71161359
>>not sure what this would be (feeding the 5000)
Matter replication. From five loaves and fishes he makes enough food for everyone to eat and have a shitload of leftovers to boot.
>>71161359
>feeding the 5000
Creation of matter from nothing?
![5175001218_f431abbf5f[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/YChPhXN.jpg "5175001218_f431abbf5f[1].jpg")
>>71161337
Enjoy your cold ass hearth, fucker
>>71161351
>Being a Christian was straight-up illegal because they didn't profess loyalty to the emperor-as-divinity type worship that the Romans had instituted
That and the Romans were under the impression that they literally ate people. the Romans really only took exception to religions that were strange or perceived as harmful, to the state or to people.
That's why Tiberius stomped out the Druids, they were human sacrifice practitioners.
>>71161359
>Jesus is pretty powerful to begin with if you ask me
Isn't that the point? I mean he is the son of god/an avatar of god.
>>71160855
Of course they gave a shit. The man was received with cheer in Jerusalem, making miracles, proclaiming himself as the king, telling people to be free, calling bullshit on jewish leaders, and the list goes on. The times were not exactly peaceful and a lot of people were trying to rebel psychically against the Romans. Judas Peter were very found of those ideals, something lampshaded in many of their dialogues. To make things worse Easter was coming soon and many jewish people would migrate around in Jerusalem. Easter being, of course, the celebration of the day that Moses set free the slaves from the Egypts.
In a lot of ways Bible makes rhymes (georgelucas.gig) with past stories, what is always a nice touch
>yfw Joseph story on Old Testament was only a HUGE lampshade of Jesus arc
>>71161398
Isn't there records of his execution?
>>71159809
He tried to rape Athena multiple times.
>>71161351
Nero and Diocletian were also separated by about 300 years. Compare that from about Trajan through the Soldier Emperor's the policy was effectively "let the local government take care of it."
Trajan makes it explicit the policy is NOT to hunt down Christians and to be based upon veritable information. Even then, all a person had to do was deny it and offer gifts to the Gods to get off scot free.
>>71161503
No there aren't, why is /co/ talking about religion to begin with?
Stop.
>>71161503
People proclaiming themselves Messiah and being executed doesn't really mean that Jesus of Nazareth, one true son of god ever existed
Moment, cannot speak of Crisis and Crossovers without mentioning Vishnu, literally creator of the multiverse and protector of the earth with their avatars
>>71161478
Yeah, a lot of people seem to forget that point and how much more it means that this avatar of an all powerful God was willing to let a bunch of filthy Romans flay him with a whip, mock him and crucify him.
It's why I admire Mel Gibson's Passion of the Christ. It really gut punches the torture Jesus went through for humanity's sake.
>>71161555
Nigga we diverge into topics like this all the time and the Mods don't give a shit as long as the OP is technically /co/ related. Fuck we've had tons of historical wiafu threads. Also Joan of Arc is worst historiafu.
>>71160999
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nephthys
>Nephthys was typically paired with her sister Isis in funerary rites[2] because of their role as protectors of the mummy and the god Osiris and as the sister-wife of Set.
>She is the sister of Isis and companion of the war-like deity, Set. As sister of Isis and especially Osiris, Nephthys is a protective goddess who symbolizes the death experience, just as Isis represented the (re-)birth experience.
>Though other goddesses could assume this role, Nephthys was most usually portrayed in this function. In contrast Nephthys is sometimes featured as a rather ferocious and dangerous divinity, capable of incinerating the enemies of the Pharaoh with her fiery breath.
Stop talking about religion /pol/ and get out.
>>71161433
>>71161337
Well, at lest Vesta is well adored.
Romans liked her and also Mars. The Greeks kind of hated Ares because he was the god of the Savagery of War, with Athene being the facet of just and thoughtful war.
>>71161503
No, but he most likely was historical. Almost zero historians believe that Christ was one-hundred percent fictional. They can really only pinpoint two events of his life exactly, his baptism, showing that he was most likely a disciple of the sect of John the Baptist, and his Crucifixion.
His preaching is implied as historical with the subject matter being disputed. Most agree that he did teach in parables.
Jesus actually is strikingly cynical, in the classic sense, and that's interesting.
Remember, conceding the man's existence does not concede his supposed Divine nature. I think people don't understand this.
>>71161503
There is a Jewish source from a man named Josephus that mentions Jesus and Christianity.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Josephus_on_Jesus
Like the link will tell you, there was later added Christian bias but it comes from an authentic source.
>>71161674
>Actually having a decent discussion
>/pol/
Be butthurt someone else. No one is preaching here.
>>71161618
>Also Joan of Arc is worst historiafu.
Take that back
>>71161214
>>71161351
Judas was not evil, he was just straight up dumb
He got confused about his own beliefs, pressured by his old jewish ways, the need for a revolution and Jesus riddles. So his plan was basically "What if I sell him? If he's fake, he will die, and I will be right. If he breaks his chains he will be right, and I be wrong, everyone wins"
Many people had the same mindset, asking again and again WHY YOU DON'T USE YOUR SUPER POWERS, with Jesus getting pissed that no one actually listened to what he said from beginning
>>71161503
A Jewish scholar contemporary to the time, Josephus I think his name was, briefly mentions an itinerant preacher named Joshua that was executed by the Romans, at dates that match up with what we see in the Bible.
But really the Gospels weren't doubted as a source until relatively recently, I mean we have written teachings and accounts from other secular historical figures that don't date until hundreds of years after those people supposedly existed and yet we don't doubt that Julius Caeser crossed the Rubicon in BC 49 even though he never wrote about it personally, and the earliest record of the event we had doesn't come until at least 60-70 years after the fact.
>>71161677
>The Greeks kind of hated Ares because he was the god of the Savagery of War, with Athene being the facet of just and thoughtful war.
To be fair, a lot of our records come from Athens, who would obviously hype up Athena as the end-all-be-all while portraying Ares as a total loser because fuck Sparta. We have a pretty limited perspective on what people outside of Athens thought.
