Mine would jump between the present day and when Bruce was around 14.
Basically, when Bruce was in his early teens, he decided to allow himself to be kidnapped as a form of training. As an overzealous and impatient child, he intentionally puts himself into a dangerous situation as a way of testing himself. He gets in way over his head, and while trying to escape he gets caught and is beaten mercilessly by one of the kidnappers. He'd already been training at this point for a few years, but this this is the first time he'd really gone up against anybody who wasn't really holding back, and the shock and terror of feeling truly helpless makes him question his mission and his personal abilities for the first time. He's held by the kidnappers for three more days, until finally Alfred and Gordon figure out where he is and manage to rescue him and arrest the kidnappers.
Flash forward to the present day. The kidnapper who had beaten Bruce has recently been released from prison and is discovered to be part of a larger organization who have been kidnapping and conditioning the young elite of Gotham for years. Bruce is acting even more violently towards the involved criminals than normal, and now has to deal with them while also attempting to rescue and deal with children who remind him of when he was at his most helpless.
Batman has to eat a bunch of nachos
Batman gets captured by Ivy, Harley, and Catwoman. Becomes sex slave
Batman has sex with lois lane and wonder woman at the same time while superman is in space trying to drown out the noise but all he hears is their moans so he flies down and interrupts then batman says
Hi Kuck Kent
then its on like donkey kong but superman starts to feel weak and he drops to his knees
batman had created some lubricated kryptonite and it was all over the floor
he goes up to superman and starts raping his mouth then says
I KILLED MUFAS- SHAZAMM
suddenly Billy Batson comes in out of breath and says ITS THE FLASH HE's DEAD AND RETARDED
then batman says I know then throws a batarang of glue at little billys mouth shutting it close and says and YOU"RE NEXT
He goes through every superhero and villain then it turns out bruce found out the true origin of the joker
flash back 10 years and young bruces mom is making him raviolis and drops guns in it on accident later on he gets diarrhea really bad and rushes to the toilet its burning but he makes it through it he's batman
BUT it had some blood in his stool the stool traveled to the end of the pipeline where it fell into a lazarus pit when his bloodyshits hit the pit
something begin to grow a man made of ass and poo
but sadly it dies upon birth remaining a cacoon canoe shape
then fast forward 15 years there's this guy at a nightclub who tells jokes and he is schizophrenic so becomes the joker
its actually pretty long I can't post all of it they go to china and theres this scientist that gets married
but in the end the real batman was "the shit" it wasn't just his blood
it was his soul and mind so bruces body was actually taken over by his moms raviolis since he was young bruce
yadda yadda the prodigal shit comes back and wrecks shitmans shit up and enters his ass forcefully becoming the true whole batman again
jim Gordon comes in and tells him theres this guy going around cumming all over pies he goes by the name of joker u might want to look into it
save for sequel
1 of the cumpie talks and is harley
>>77727696
Bring back Batman Inc.
I don't give a shit if Morrison did it or not, but it needs someone who understands why that concept was pretty fucking rad, even if tasteless batfags and normies think it's "goofy"
![arrow-season-3[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/BJ7ZJja.jpg "arrow-season-3[1].jpg")
Big event shit. Basically Bruce dies, Ras gets the body and kills/resurrects him and finally succeeds in getting Bruce to be his successor.
This has to follow a big crossover which someone else dreams up. But it'll be a situation like when his back was broken by Bane - when he and the bat family are overwhelmed by his rogue gallery. Or that Batman game where all the assassins are after him.
Batman manages to overcome the odds but is lured into a trap by the Joker. Let's say a warehouse, cause a lot of bat fights happen in warehouses. Joker taunts him, calls him Batfrappe or whatever really bad joke I can come up with later. Mentions he sounds like he has a bad cold. All things that reduce Batman to a mere man. He is beaten like Jason Todd. Joker cuts him up and takes off pieces of his suit in a sexual way and wears it. Bats is sending out a distress signal to his batfamily and even the JLA but no one can get to him in time. Batman is pleading for help for the first time, everyone hears but can't help.
The next part is up for discussion but Batman has to die. Either he grabs Joker in a rear naked choke and Joker shoots himself and Batman together, killing both of them in a murder suicide. Or... Joker kills Batman. Clean kill ( not sure if he offs himself later or is just satisfied and leaves).
First Bat ally (FLash? IDK) makes it to the scene but all we see his the Bat helmet.
The twist is Ras Al Ghul was listening in the whole time or was behind this, and has body. The league of assasins retrieved the body. He plans to kill/ressurect Bruce Wayne in the Lazarus pit until he is compliant with his views. Ras is so willing to do it that he will let himself die in the process since the pits are finite. After Bruce does turn, Ras eventually dies. Talia will have a change of heart like all women do and leave for whatever reason (become too much like her father, yayadada characterize her better)
>>77728550
You could then write a lot of new stories with evil/cunning Bruce - deceving his allies, explaining his absence, getting caught out, implementing Ras' plans successfully, and dystopian futures like Twilight of the Gods.
>>77728283
>m-muh lesbians
>>77727696
Gotham and New York City are one and the same, it's just larger than our NYC. All that you see happen in Nolan's Dark Knight trilogy happened, but happened in the 00's. So, Bruce and Selina are retired in Europe, John Blake becomes Robin and takes up residence in the Batcave.
Robin has a harder time crimefighting compared to Bruce but he makes the best of it.
Within months there's reports of a mercenary named Deathstroke running around, he's reported to take his captives and if neccesary, shoot them before throwing them out of a plane. Weeks later, there's also a news report about how the body of Captain Jones (the guy who got hung by Bane's men in Dark Knight Rises) has gone missing. Months later there's the report of a new crime boss called the Kingpin, whom Blake has yet to find, and a Daredevil clad in black fighting in Hell's Kitchen. And the Joker has gone missing from Arkham Asylum.
Along the way Blake also fights against Harley Quinn, Deadshot, and Boomerang. He and James Gordon also meet Detective John Jones, who turns out to not only be the assumed deceased Captain Jones, but also an alien from the planet Mars. John Jones expressed regret that he wasn't able to do more during Bane's siege on Gotham but was afraid of the world panicking upon learning the existence of aliens (there's no Superman or most of the other alien characters here)
>>77728967
In 2010 Joker hires Deathstroke to help him capture Robin. Deathstroke succeeds, but to his horror discovers Joker brainwashes and destroys Robin into becoming a new Joker, who both proceed to kill Deathstroke's son Grant Wilson. Deathstroke is forced to call upon Bruce Wayne to become Batman again to help him stop the Jokers. Batman and Deathstroke succeed in stopping the Jokers, but Joker (Heath Ledger version) is killed in the fight and New Joker (John Blake) is still insane and forced to remain in Arkham.
Deathstroke, out of guilt reveals to Batman that he is Bill Wilson, former CIA Agent and offers to be the new Batman while Bruce is gone from Gotham. In spite of Bill's failures against Bane and Joker, Bruce reluctantly agrees.
In Gotham, Bill Wilson helps run the newly revitalized Wayne Industries while fighting crime as Batman by night, encountering the likes of Harley, Boomerang, Deadshot, Daredevil, Punisher, Elektra, Bullseye, and more.
John Jones meets a man named Jackson King who has telekenetic powers and with backing from Wayne Industries they form a team called Stormwatch.
>>77729000
>Harley, Boomerang, Deadshot, Daredevil, Punisher, Elektra, Bullseye, and more.
>>77729044
Really, that's the part that got you suspicious and not CIA as Deathstroke or Deathstroke as Batman or the prior mention of Daredevil and Kingpin?
>>77729053
Deathstroke IS Batman in BvS, anon.
>>77727696
Batman somehow notices that his life and lives of others are lead by a higher force. Soon, he starts noticing evidence that he's actually a character in a medium of a sort (he doesn't know it's a comic) and that all that happens to him happens because of will of his author. Being Batman, he tries to somehow ''win'', and investigate/fight his authors to become finally free, a normal person in a normal world.
>>77729092
it sounded so much better in my head
I want to see a Thomas/Bruce/Damian team-up with them all as Batman at around the same age.
>>77728290
Literal Shitpost
>>77729092
I have a similar idea.
>Batman: Joker's Legion
The Joker dies.
The city of Gotham experiences an age pf peace, Batman acts like is angry he couldn't have avoided it, but is secretly also glad.
Couple months go by with no major threats to Gotham, when suddenly signs that the joker is alive begin to pop up.
Several crimes begin to happen all over Gotham, all of them done seemingly by the Joker, the problem is the victims all present different descriptions of the culprit when questioned by the police.
Batman, the batfamily and the Question all begin to investigate.
Harley also begins to look for this new Joker.
Turns out it isn't "a" new Joker, but a group of Joker copycats that's made up of a mix of "edgy teens that worship the Joker (like in Batman Beyond) and legit crazy people with an axe to grind against society. They are lead by a man of unknown origin that has (at lease from first glance) fully embraced the Joker identity.
Differently from the old Joker, this new Joker seems to be more "deliberate" about his scores, like his working up to something, for exemple there are several moments were he has the chance to kill a cape but doesn't and even ends up helping them some times, but he also targets especific characters like other heroes and their family members and he seems to always know their weaknesses.
This culminates in a scene the new Joker re-cripples Barbara with a surgery using a power drill. Note he doesn't kill her, just re-crippled her.
>"Hold still now, I've tried this with a couple sorry souls before, but I'm not actually a doctor HAHAHAHAHA!!!"
Harley eventually just stumbles into the new Joker and his crew while walking around town and joins them to try to figure out who this guy pretending to be her Pudding.
The new Joker goes tells Harley about the voices in his head and how they tell him to do thing, some times contradicting each other. He also goes on about the "Endless Waltz of the Universe" and the "Our Empthy Movement"
Alfred solo series.
Part slice of life with Alfred managing the household staff, pumping the Batmobile tires, etc. Other part is him solving mysteries, ranging from relatively minor stuff like reporters poking around the mansion, to lower tier BTAS-style villains who would be on Batman's radar if he wasn't busy with a more dangerous rogue.
Each issue would end with one of Alfred's teatime recipes.
>>77729593
And then it turns out that the new Joker is actually Batman. With the Joker gone, he lost focus and started slipping into insanity. He's now his own worst enemy and he's so far gone that he doesn't even realize it. He can't solve the case. He comes close and finds a lot of clues that make him suspect himself, but he ends up just assuming that it's actually the real Joker. He starts to believe the real Joker is still alive somewhere and is trying to drive him crazy by making him think he's the Joker.
It all ends with the entire Batfamily in tears as they visit a deranged Bruce locked up in Arkham, laughing loudly to himself. As they leave the asylum, a dark figure steps from the shadows and the light reveals that it's the real Joker. He looks in on Bruce and frowns, before sighing and turning away sadly. He puts on a Batman cowl and then grapple hooks away into the sky inexplicably, even though there wasn't anything to grapple onto.
>>77729661
>>77729593
I'd read it
>>77729644
That would actually really help me get more material for my shitty tumblr:
http://the-goddamn-alfred.tumblr.com/
>>77729593
Due to her psychologist training, she figures this guy must have schizophrenia and subconsciously begins to try to help him.
>"The Voices, they are poison in my brain. An ice pick on my head."
>"Listen, there are ways to make the voices stop, I can help you."
>"Stop? Are you mad? The Voices can't stop!".
>"Why the hell not?"
>"Cuz if they do we all die."
While this is happening, Batman, the batfamily and the Question are all looking for this new Joker, fighting his crew and dealing with his attacks as they come aiding his targets, but Batman and the rest of the Batfamily stop to take care of Barbara while the Question continues.
He eventually finds the HQ of the new Joker Crew. He gets in, sneaks into the Joker's room and findsa mural painting of Superman on the Action Comics n°1 pose (lifting the car).
>"The Voices must keep screaming! Their shouts are the music that reigns the Endless Watz of the Universe and fuels the Empthy Movement of our lives and our planet".
>"So the Voices must keep shouting... they must keep shouting from their homebeyond the Source.
>"And I must keep feeding them. I must keep giving the people what it wants... or not, it doesn't matter what they shout as long as they keep shouting".
>"So I must keep going, for if the lights the Voices produce go out, all of us will die".It's a set up for a Crisis
I want a Batman comic where he's actually not all that skilled and smart, just rich and cocky. He tries to be Batman for the first time, but gets the shit beat out of him. So Alfred, to protect him, hires various criminals to leave ridiculously easy clues and hints and then fake losing fights to him. Batman lives his life thinking he's a badass crime fighter until he becomes too self-confident and tries to stop a real mugging that Alfred didn't set up for him. He ends up getting gunned down in the same alley his parents died in.
>>77727957
this can I just see Bruce Wayne trying to relax one day, eat some nachos and watch football but Gotham being the shit hole it is take him away from the one day he wanted for himself
>>77729874
I would enjoy that
him just watching the gotham football game
gets all his snacks ready sits down turns on the T.V. about to take his first bite
then bat signal in the sky outside his window
of course it would have to end with him actually at the game as batman somewhere in the rafters after stopping some terrorist plan before it could happen with an order of nachos in his hand
>>77729874
Batman recorded the big game and has been trying to watch it all day, but criminals keep making him leave. He gets more and more aggressive each time he has to beat someone down. Until finally, Joker spoils the game for Batman by telling him Gotham lost 76 to 77 in triple overtime. Batman snaps and finally murders Joker. He never does get to finish his nachos.
>>77729787Turns out the New Joker was just a regular Joe that was bonged in the head by the orginal Joker on his last "prank".
By a cruel twist of fate (or miracle) that bong to the head cause the New Joker's head to begin to vibrate in the frequency of a "universe-like" space that lays beyond the Source were an entity known as the Voices give out the DC multiverse with the energy it needs to operate and avoids the heat death of the universe by refueling it as it needs through it's "screams".It's a giant Morrison style meta story, The Voices represent the reader, it's screams represent the act of engaging with comics, and the heat death of the universe that the Joker wants to avoid represents DC going out of business.
Batman can't figure out a mystery so he enlists the help of Memepool, who breaks the fourth wall and reads the end of the comic and tells Batman who the murderer is. The story concludes in 7 pages and comics shatter as a viable medium for entertainment.
>>77727696
he is in the future
he is also a teenager
fund it pls
>>77729874
Batman teams up, with, lets say Booster Gold to defeat a villain. Then they go back to the batcave to analyse the villain's gadgets. Booster notes that Bruce could use a vacation. "Do you think crime takes a vacation!?" "Possibly? I mean, I might be able to arrange something." so Booster traps Wayne Manor in a time bubble where 72 hours will pass while it's only 72 seconds outside.
The joker and batman battle for a mahou shoujos soul, the joker seeks to drive her nuts while bats tries to turn her into a warrior for justice.
Plenty of screen time for the jokers insanity to come off as endearing and batmans intensity to come off as horrifying.At some point batman intimidates the mahou shoujos nemesis so hard she pisses herself.
>>77730149
>yfw 72 seconds without batman is enough to fuck the world and gotham up hardcore.
>>77730149
Plot twist
He fucks up and it's actually 72 years.
>>77727696
I've always wanted to do an Amalgam Universe type story where Daredevil and Batman are comined into one character.
Major villains being Deathstroke/Bullseye Joker/Green Goblin and Rupert Thorn/Kingpin
Batman is dealing with crime in Gotham.
Plot twist: It's actually Hush, and he's brainwashed to think he's Bruce Wayne whilst Bruce is on vacation
>Punished Batman
>>77728290
ses
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>>77731828
this is what I wanted Arkham Knight to be, with real bruce being the AK
>>77729784
>tumblr
>>77729644
I would read this.
>>77727696
Batman and Catwoman have intense kinky sex for 25 pages.
During some time an alternate timeline before the Endgame saga, during a fight with Bane, Batman has serious injuries and is treated by a newcomer cop, said cop after removing Batman's cowl identifies him as Bruce Wayne, despite this, he swears loyalty to Batman by keeping his identity a secret and despite his newcoming status on the GPD, he somewhats helps Batman during the fight against Bane by rescuing a unconscious Robin after he was knocked out cold from an attack by Bane.
During the time, post-Bane combat, Bruce becomes friends with said cop due to his loyalty and their almost identical sense of how justice needs to be executed; He also has a personal life with former Batman lover, Vicki Vale, whom changed generally in personality and seems to be wanting a simple life over her previous life in journalism
However, during this alternate Endgame telling, where Batman succeeds in having him and the Joker not dying and the latter apreheended, when proceeding to deliver him to the authorities waiting outside of the site of conflict, the Joker unveils he had an explosive vest underneath his suit, exploding in front of Batman, the cop, Gordon and other members of the GPD.
Batman wakes up after a coma, finding out that both the cop and the Joker had died, becoming bitter after these consequences; Joker's death during the time of his death also made Harley assume control of his gang of lunatics, and desires revenge on both Batman and Gotham in general, by overwhelming the police with the help of a heavily-modified Fear Toxin by Scarecrow that prolongs the effects on people's mentalities in general.
Some shenanigans happen, Batman gets pissed to a point where during the final conflict, he kills Harley breaking his rule on no-killing.
This causes Batman to be angered by his own actions and decides that in order for Gotham to be truly safe, he has to create his own Utopia.
>>77734009
He creates a vigilante patrol team called the "Batmen" and establishes a remote headquarters somewhere in the US, and with it, starts doing a revamp on not only Gotham's policy but America in general, much to the disgust of Gordon, Batman's previous teammates and the Justice League itself.
One particular person pissed at Batman is Superman, to which Batman seized control of the Phantom Zone to apreheend his rogue gallery as well as common crooks.
The whole nation starts getting against him, to the point where the previously mentioned Vicki Vale decides to get back on Journalism with the help of Clark Kent and Lois Lane to do investigative reports on the Batman figure in order to ruin his public image.
A few months past and Batman still is emerging victorious, but something happens, after combating the Justice League, Batman comes up to a figure that he never expected to see: Bruce Wayne.
>>77734110
Turns out the Batman all along was actually the cop figure, whom was induced into a brainwashed state to replace Bruce Wayne as Batman when the former was contacted by one of his contacts to avoid a world threatening catastrophe, seeing how Gotham was in a dire state with Harley, he decides it was best to follow Gordon's advice to allow hypnotherapy treatment onto the cop figure.
Both Batmen comes face to face with the cop accepting his fate as Bruce Wayne by stating that his sense of justice is in a way better than Bruce's and that in modern times, drastic measures have to be taken, where evil and good are just concepts and not a concrete statement.
Despite his attempts, Bruce Wayne emerges victorious, but before the Justice League attempts to apreheend him for his crimes, "Cop" Batman tells one of his most trusted members, a sniper, to shoot his head as a way to avoid a fate at the hands of a Justice League that goes against his morals, and just like that he is killed.
Bruce feels guilty at the "Cop" figure, seeing as he was a trusted friend, so in his tribute, he is buried at the Wayne Manor alongside Thomas and Martha Wayne.
Yes, I stole the doppelganger shit from MGSV.
By day, Bruce Wayne is a famed businessman, owner of Wayne Industries, responsible for so many philanthropic deeds, and for donating so much to charity that he's pretty much the hero of Gotham.
But by night... Bruce relaxes with his wife, Talia, and son, Damien. When he's not running Wayne Enterprises, he spends his time tending to his bat sanctuary. It's his major vice, leading to him being nicknamed the "bat man" by the media. He often does tours for interested parties, including schools and orphanages funded by Wayne Enterprises.
Of course, there's a dark side to Wayne. Ever since his parents were killed in a mugging gone wrong, Bruce has struggled with depression and anxiety. It's led him to problems in the past, but his friend, Harvey Dent, suggested Bruce go to Arkham Medical Center for therapy along with him. Bruce has found it helpful, and he's become a major patron of Arkham since then.
Pitch a Batman story? Hrm.
If I was to do something? I want to do something fun, maybe.
Alright.
Bruce Wayne was the first Robin. Hear me out. So he's on his quest, and he needs to learn how to be a detective and how to fight and all that and when he finally finds a PI willing to train him (probably Slam Bradley), the guy puts him into a costume with a mask because: Hey, a kid like you out there? You're a target. So lets hide your identity.
But that's more in the prologue. So in the modern day, Batman here is trying to solve that PI's last case, as everything in the files was sent to him after the PI finally died of some kind of liver cancer or whatever.
So anyway.
It's just basically a semi thriller whodunit, flashing back to the past as Batman revisits happier times, I suppose.
>>77734452
Or, baring that, maybe something different.
Like... an Elseworlds where only Thomas Wayne died and Bruce still becomes Batman but he's hiding all his nightly dailances from his elderly mother, who he really can't tell about being Batman because she has some strong opinions about the cowl'd vigilante.
>>77729092
Morrison?
Trying to prevent his Parents murders Batman goes back in time to 13th Century China to stop the creation of the first gun - a portable fire lance inserted with projectiles.
>>77728290
A true classic adapted by all mediums
Would read again please make the sequel soon
>>77728290
Sounds like Earth-3.
It's not about Batman directly, but more about what his actions cause, our story starts out with a group of men waitting by the docks, one of them is complaining about how he lost his job and his wife left him and the kids and he needs money. the guy doesn't know what he's helping ship into Gotham, only that his cousin in law told him it would pay, sadly, it's weapons for Cobblepot. Naturally Batman busts them and sends them off to Blackgate where the man who seemed to be the subject of our story is murdered.
Then we shift to see the man's children placed in foster care, the oldest son starts turning into a delinquent doing whatever he can to help support his baby sister, however, one day she is adopted and taken to Star City leaving him alone in Gotham. Misguided, the kid blames Batman for ruining his life and taking his family away and starts to work for local crime bosses to find a way to get back at the Bat.
At the end of the story the boy is now 18 and gets defeated by Batman and Robin, fusterated and upset the boy yells that Batman had his father killed. After sending the boy to Arkham Batman investigates the boys claims and finds that the man in question was a former GCPD officer who Gordan fired for excessive violence, and learns that the man was killed less than 48 hours after being thrown into Blackgate. Batman suddenly has to come to the horrid conclusion that not everything he's done for Gotham is good, he has destroyed lives for the greater good and there are people that are justifyed in hating him. So, he decides that he should do more as Bruce Wayne and less as Batman.
I may have a hate boner for Batman, but the dude needs more stories where he is in fact the problem and not the solution.
>>77727696
Batman Medieval +some magic.
Where Batman is a demon and has to fight a lost souls possessing various folks. The Batman takes some martial art fighter as avatar
An elseworld where Bruce finally snaps and starts killing criminals. The story is about Alfred's contingency plan he's set in place to take Batman down should he ever lose it.
