Through a bizarre series of events, Sterling Archer has become the dad for the last cartoon family you watched. How does he get along with everyone?
>King of the Hill
Probably not, but there'd probably be a cool action scene at Strickland Propane.
>>83664134
Oh god
>>83664134
> Archer hanging out in beach city, with a magical child he barely knows or understands and the crystal gems who keep dealing with problems that they wont let him just shoot to death.
"Peridot, move. I'm driving the drill. I'm the most qualified. I've been to space, damnit!"
"We've all been to space. We're gems. We're from space."
"God damnit you little green bell pepper, just let me drive the- WHY IS THIS THING SO FREAKING SMALL? How did you think we were going to fit in here? Did you build this drill for ants?"
"N-"
"No, of course not. The ants could never move the levers. Forget I said that."
>>83664236
There will be no escape from the murdercock.
>>83664328
fucking amazing
>C'mon Pearl, I got needs too! I mean for god's sake the last time I drilled deep into someone's starlight chasm they poofed into my son! Have you no heart? No, actually, do you not have a heart?
>>83664134
fug
This thread better go places or I swear to godI'll fucking kill myself
>>83664328
>>83664416
I feel like, in a really weird way, Archer would be surprisingly competent fighting alongside the gems. Obviously he is a good gunfighter and all, but he obsession with aliens and autistic ability to recall random science and historical facts seems like he would be really adaptable against weird gem powers.
"What was that? Something is moving out there, but I can't see any-"
"PREDATOOOOOOR! Oh god, its even a tropical island how did I not see the signs? Quick, Steven, throw sand."
"Sand? Where?"
"Anywhere! Everywhere! Just keep throwing sand, until it hits something-"
*thunk*
"-invisible. Great. Whatever you do, don't pick up a weapon of make threatening moves. Predators only hunt worthy prey."
>>83664134
American Dad, I guess it wouldn't be too different at all
>>83664416
>Wow, Steve, there are like no bangable women in this whole town. Forgive me for sounding crass, but Beach City is nothing but Butter Faces. I'm starting to get concerned about my cholesterol that's how bad it is. Though I guess maybe if Garnet changed her hair, and put a paper bag over her face it could work. I mean I have experience with giant monsterhand blackish women, though she was more latte colored instead of a deep burgundy. And I guess if we're making exceptions then I guess I also have experience with skinny red headed basket cases.......and chubby blonde garbage eating monsters. Jesus, my standards really plummeted these past couple years.
>American Dad
As the new patriarch of the Smith household, Sterling succeeds in banging both Francine and Haley.
He thinks Klaus is the best thing ever because "He's a freakin' fish! That freakin' TALKS!".
He never realizes Roger is an alien, even outside of disguise, and doesn't realize that his personas aren't actually different people.
He treats Steve a lot like Cyril until he catches Steve sobbing like a bitch, at which point Sterling feels bad and brings Steve on a camping trip and shares his deepest fears (alligators and aneurysms).
Bullock unsuccessfully but continuously tries to flirt with him.
>Littlest Pet Shop
"Dad, why were the police here?"
"It's nothing you need to worry about, Blythe. Just... answering some questions."
"What kind of questions?"
"Uh, you know, stuff like 'Where were you' and 'how do you know the Biskits.' Things like that."
"...And why were they asking about them?"
"Uh, well, someone may have snuck into their home last night, wearing a turtleneck sweater much like my own, since they have good taste."
"Okay..."
"And that someone *may* have brought with them a lot of rope and duct tape, possibly as a means of scaring the hell out of two bratty girls."
"Go on..."
"Which never happened anyway because that someone *may* have accidentally... uh, shot the butler."
"You killed their butler?!"
"Okay, one, I said 'shot,' not 'killed.' And second, I never said it was me! Jesus."
"..."
"...Uh, on an unrelated note, do you happen to know any pets whose owners are on the police force? Like, pets that are allowed inside the building and, say, could get into an evidence locker? Just curious."
>>83664939
That was beautiful anon.
>The New Adventures of Lassie
I feel like he would probably get the kids killed because he wanted to spend all of his time with Lassie.
>The Angry Beavers
It is revealed that Archer is Norbert and Daggets father... I don't know how that would work...
