Didn't see a thread so figured fuck it make my own. First time for everything. Pop my cherry. Maybe get banned. Who knows.
Anyhow, what is ya'lls drink of choice tonight?
Currently drinking a shitty cheap low carb arnold palmer made with maple vodka.
You know it's gonna be a good night when you bring two bottles of vodka up to your bedroom and lock yourself out from the world.
Guess this is as good a place to ask as any, especially since /fit/ no longer includes health apparently.
I'm going into the doctor tomorrow to ask for something to help me ween myself off drinking everyday and having the shakes as soon as I wake up. It sounds like I want some kind of benzos, but how do you actually go in and ask for something like that?
Anyone have any experience getting medical help without ending up in an actual hospital bed because of kidney failure or whatever?
Oh shit man, that's rough.
Good on you for taking the first step though. I believe in you!
I guess the best thing you can do is be really casual about it? Like.. Don't lose your cool?
I don't know. I wish I could be of more help. They will likely want to run a few tests.
I have zero attraction to alcohol. I can't stand the stuff, and based on the way it tastes to me, I can't figure out why anyone likes it. I don't even feel good being drunk.
I don't have a problem with liquor either, I just... oh god, it's like paint stripper to me
Damn. Well count yourself lucky. I get drawn back to this stuff so easily. I love the feeling of disconnect. Of feeling numb.
I probably don't drink enough to be considered an actual alcoholic, but I think I'm bordering on it. At least from the perspective of my friends.
I don't like a lot of things either. I keep it on the sweet side, bitter is fine once I'm already drunk cause my mouth is numb.
Pretty depressed last night, drank a whole bottle of this, wanted to get some more but I sat down for a few minutes before walking to the corner store and passed out. Surprisingly no hangover.
I've been drinking it since I was 16, I'm 23 now. It's my go to. Its only $30 a bottle but for the price it's some good shit. 9 times out of 10 there's no hangover unless I drink beer too. Not gonna lie though even after drinking it almost daily for 7 years the first 2-3 shots make me gag a bit but after that it's smooth coastin.
I know what you mean, it's hard at the start but once you get lubed up it just goes down like fucking water mate.
Sorry to hear that though, I mean, that's gotta suck right?
I've always had a thing for the liqour ever since I was that age, but really didn't start drinking til I moved out at 18. Then it was like weekend benders on the regular. Now I'm kinda like.. whenever the husbands out and I feel like shit I drink.
Couple weeks back I had a really bad black out episode.
But here I am, back at the bottle.
25 here, gonna be 26 in less than a month.
Dunno why I said all that, it's not like ya'll care bout my life story.
>have good job
>no gf (who would've thought)
>live with parents (pay rent but it's just us 3 in a 4.5 bedroom)
I'm 23 and me and the senpai get along great so I haven't got the urge to move out yet. I spend all my money on cars and Hennessy. Buy a bottle every 2 days or so with plenty money leftover for rent/groceries.
I just realised these pics prolly aren't good for ballers like >>7863904 who are trying to quit and CAN and WILL because I HAVE FAITH IN YOU man! <3
So I guess I'll switch to some other shit like trailer park boys
I mean its supposed to be tongue in cheek - motivational quotes super imposed over pics of alcoholics and stuff but.. ehh.. starting to realize its kinda in bad taste
You can fucking do it! Don't be a sad sack like me
>applejack on a whim
Damn! On a whim? You're in for some fun stuff.
First off try a Jack Rose Cocktail
but you're not taking a countless number of shots at any given time
Oh that show. damn. not as dank as I thought.
Anyhow, what's up bros? Sat night, pretty quiet. guess people arehaving a good time and here I am all lonely an shit
At my birthday party drinking vodka, jager and 99 bananas. Was out at Korean bbq earlier and they had 99c mugs of beer so hot pretty blasted on that earlier.
Having a pretty good night honestly.
I drink at least two tall boys every night. Lately been capping the night off with a couple shots of vodka. My grandma passed away a while back and had around five bottles squirreled away around the house, managed to get my hands on one of them when we held a party in her honor. The handle is almost gone and I feel sad, probably gonna finish it tonight. Do a toast to her every time I do a shot of her vodka.
I got a check in the mail for $15--I don't even know why. Gratis handle of 100 proof vodka on T-Mobile (I've never even used them.)
Me? I dunno. I got some other random shit and fucked myself up. Prolly gonna play some Overwatch now. Had a little fingerbating sesh not too long ago. Everything is numb.
Also I'm killin' it at these fucking Captchas
>You know it's gonna be a good night when you bring two bottles of vodka up to your bedroom and lock yourself out from the world.
I used to enjoy this so much.
Lately, though, drinking alone has been toeing a fine line. Drink just the right amount it's a great night. Go over that limit and my depression goes into overdrive and end up drinking and crying until I fall asleep.
I never really wanted to quit before, but this stopped being fun.
drink water if you can keep it down. when i feel fucked up after a night of drinking i usually make some very (VERY) spicy soup and noodles/ramen (i add a few tbsp of kimchi paste, crushed red peppers, thai chilis etc.). i'll also add in some meat (chicken, eggs or beef). anyways, i like it very spicy because i always sweat off the hangover or pain (caution: do not use curry or your insides will explode). plus the shit is spicy so it'll make you want to drink a lot of water.
just a suggestion, good luck.
and also i use to drink 300-600 mL of vodka a night (5 times a week) for 2.5 years and switched over to a bottle of wine recently each night. that way i can control my alcohol intake (because a fifth of wine will get you buzzed without going overboard) and it's only $3 a bottle (less if you buy in bulk).
I'm having a (mostly) bourbon and cola with club crackers, braunschwager and super sharp cheddar.
Not my worst drink/snack pairing, though I've definitely had better. Its just so hard to top a strong margarita with chips and queso.
How much do you have to drink every day for that to become a serious problem?
I drink every day but it's usually in the neighborhood of 8-ish beers
I've only gotten the shakes from drinking most of a fifth and having to wake up the next day
If you can stop, stop. If you can't, you won't. That's pretty much all it is. Ask yourself if you can go this next week without those beers. If you think you can, do it and see what happens. If you crack, you have your answer
Once you start getting major withdrawals you will know it and it will scar hell out of you. That's when it becomes a seriously crippling problem in my opinion. I'd say about a fifth of vodka a day for a atleast a month should do it. Perhaps less if you aren't eating much.
>hometown has large korean population
>have had several bottles of various korean wines daily for the past week
Wew lads, going back to work is going to be rough.
But health memers tell me wine is good for me.
>tfw drinking more Tequila than Mexican revolutionary because life isn't enjoyable without being intoxicated
I share the deep sadness of the Mexican people through the taste of the brew of their ancestors.
Coming off a 4-day bender, drank about 5 liters of vodka over that span. thankfully I don't get the shakes like that anon, but what are some decent remedies for the night sweats I'll be having tonight, and the lethargy tomorrow?
Sipping down my 3rd beer so that I can at least sleep buzzed. That sometimes help with the sweats.
Oh man that takes me back
>Visit Korea with wife
>kind of like Japan, motherfuckers there work hard and play harder after dark.
>walking down the street, people are just sitting in little plastic chairs slamming Soju and eating fried chicken or steamed/grilled snails with Kimchi.
>we get wasted every night on $1 CAD bottles of soju and $2 CAD pints of Hiite
Fucking 10/10 would do again
I wish alcoholism discussion wasn't such a pissing-contest and a young person could talk about worrying that their minor but regular cravings and occasional binges might be leading down a bad path.
I don't think it's problematic in the least, but there's a (hopefully) long road ahead and it could trend away from alcohol, but it could just as easy take a sharp left at any moment. Or a more gradual curve into a bad neighborhood.
Please don't give me the "2 liters of vodka a day? Please, I used to drink twice that and pick my kid up from school every day, don't be a pussy!" shit.
Look, just never drink to run away from something. If you fear addiction, addiction will find you, and based on the way you talk about it I would bet you've thought about this a lot. Do yourself a favor and understand well that retreading thoughts over and over cements them in your brain. If you ,say, mull around "addict" and "alcohol" enough, you will find yourself ironically succumbing to the demon drink. Know your depression (the biggest and most open door to addiction), and never drink to enhance everyday things like hobbies, watching TV, playing video games, whatever. And never, ever drink because of a girl. Every sob who gets into alcohol either has problems with a girl or with his daddy. Sorry for the scatter brain reply, but what would you expect given the thread topic? Good luck, don't fall into it, and never drink to impress.
yes but i wouldn't call it rest.
>feel cold as fuck even though you're sweating like a mad man
>head spinning and can't focus on a fixed point (vertigo)
>anxiety amplified greatly and feel worse than death
>can't eat or drink anything because my body is refusing anything for the next 12 hours
that was when i was downing a handle of vodka every 3-4 days.
repeat. the brief moment of bliss from binge drinking isn't worth the 12 hour period of legit wanting to kill myself.
How do I stop /ck/?
Didn't go into work today because I was awake all night sweating like a pig and hearing my heart in my ears. I wasn't even buzzed yesterday, this isn't really worth it any more.
I got these, I drank them before and they're pretty decent.
>takes a while to remember some words
This lasts for a fucking week after a bender and I'm sick of it. Starting to think clearly today and it's good. People seem like people not robots, and my hands look like they belong to me.
this is going to be a weird question but are there any alcohols that taste just like cherry/grape cough syrup or mouthwash?
I weirdly really like the taste of cough syrups and can tolerate mouthwash, but the taste of alcoholic drinks just makes me gag.
peppermint schnapps tastes pretty much like mouthwash. I used to drink it a lot when i was younger. The only downside is that it is lower abv than a lot of liqour, but since it sounds like you aren't a heavy drinker that might come in handy
>get into food industry
>working as prep guy
>stressful since im just the chefs bitch
>start drinkin heavier than usual
>months of pure hazing
>finally reach summer
>get shit canned
>sit at home and drink more
lol kek le maymay
not bad at all, just was new to it and starting out in an expensive/fancy place in NYC.
It was my first job in it too. Though they said when I have more experience i'd always have a job there it was still pretty stressful.
Please tell me not to drink tonight.
I've just had a couple of the longest days of my life. My sleep schedule is completely fucked and things are getting weird.
Grats man, that is fucking awesome.
Victories are fucking sweet. That makes me very happy for you. I believe in you too.
I really should sleep or nap or something, but my body is too wired and fucked up. I hope I can make it. I got shit to do, but I just need a break for now.
Holy fucking shit. Hit the nail on the fucking head right there my friend. That was one of those nights for me too. I toed the line for awhile, but I tipped over it.
Christ... That's what I do. Water and vodka with fucking crystal light, Mio, diet soda.
I am sorry to hear your liver hurts though, dude. You should really wean off and get help.
That sounds p tasty.
Also, wine is... good right.. like.. antioxidants and shit?
Bong reporting in 4.27am here and im still browsing 4chan drinking beers. ugh fml
Same as always: Wild Turkey 101 on the rocks with a slice of lemon or lime, depending on when I last went downstairs. Probably gonna stop drinking either this week or next, though. It's been slow at work so I haven't had much else to do, but we're opening up a new location before the end of the month so I'll have to work 70+ hours a week.
Glad I now know how to stop; to those of you who are scared of quitting, you aren't ready. You have to actually want it to really stop. Of course I jumped right back on the drinking game not long ago so what the fuck do I know.
That's essentially me right now. I'm not an alcoholic per se, but all my friends act like I am.
I'm heading down a bad way, it feels. Every day I get the urge to drink. I don't. But it's becoming overwhelming almost, with the depression. I just want to feel numb.
Just regular cravings, and binges when I do drink.
The black out I had a few weeks back was an eye opener, and I wanted to change myself and set myself straight, but since then every day my urge to drink has only gone up.
It was basically a psychotic episode/break too. Fuck. I guess I've gotten to the point where I haven't been drinking every day, but at least 2-3 times in a week.
Really not trying to outshine anyone here and boast. I'm truly disturbed by myself. And I guess this is a cry for help that will go no where. By comparison to those ass turkeys I'm drinking sunny d in a sippy cup.
>walk through the liquor aisle
>see "Jim Beam Honey - Bourbon infused with real Honey"
>it's dirt cheap too
>wow that must be fucking disgusting
>buy it anyway
>drink the half bottle in one day
Fuck me, this stuff is tasty.
>Water, milk, and one of those bottled juice smoothies (fuck yes)
>Everything is going great, I feel perfect and loved
My life suddenly, completely and utterly collapses, girlfriend ditches me in college while I'm working late, failing classes, losing friends, lingering around parents who despise having me around.
I'm fairly certain I have a mild addiction to tobacco. And my parents have crippling problems with alcohol. But I want to drink.
I want to drink because it's been around forever. There are recipes I want to try. I want to try new things. I want to taste new things. I want to party when I feel like it. I want to learn to bar-tend. I want to know what it feels like. I've had some nice liquor before but;
I want to gamble and go to strip clubs. I want to drink and smoke weed. I want the freedom to be the idiot I've always tried to pretend not to be.
I hate this parole officer feeling I get from the prison of restraint and sheltering that has been my entire life so far.
>In exactly one month I'll know what all the commotion is about
Reporting back in.
The doctor prescribed Atenolol (a beta blocker usually used to treat high blood pressure), clonazepam (to treat anxiety/panic attacks), and thiamine (vitamin B1, which I guess helps the body process stuff or something).
I had to give a rough estimate of how much I drink a day and I went low (duh) and said a pint of vodka (16 oz), and part of his instructions were to reduce my drinking by an ounce a day along with taking the medications. I might give updates of how it goes in future threads if anyone cares. So far the clonazepam is a life save and allows me to perform basic tasks, but I already knew that.
I would drink around 3-8 drinks a night during the week and then go on 15+ all weekend benders. On 4th of July weekend I went on a 5 day bender and had moderate withdrawal symptoms, crushing anxiety, brain fog, sweats, no appetite, mild shakiness, feeling of impending doom. Didn't help I smoked pot while coming down from a 5 day drink and had a huge panic attack.
I'd consider quitting and if you can't quit get help. Alcoholism is a progressive disease. It will keep getting worse.
7 days sober now. Nothing to brag about but I'm losing weight and feeling a little better
OP your image reminds me of my last drinking episode
>under 21 but above 18 :^)
>decide I'm going to jack a bottle
>it's from the same store I jacked my last bottle from
>jacked a bottle without looking at the actual alcohol because I didn't want to draw attention
>pick up a bottle of red stag
>drink the entire thing in the span of 10 minutes
>sitting down and can't feel a thing
>decide to stand up
>it all fucking hits me like a freight train
>find my way to my room and dodge the jehova witnesses invited to the house
>listen to music in room
>wake up having to piss
>I wake up twice as drunk
>In the bathroom pissing when all of a sudden I get nauseous
>sit on bathroom floor
>Start puking everywhere and on myself
>try to get up
>slip in puke and fumble around
>puking on self while fumbling around
>everyone outside can hear everything
>they hear EVERYTHING
>clean puke up and bathroom and go back into bedroom
>they call the cops on me
>wake up to two cops opening my door while I'm naked and asleep on my bed
>we make eye contact for a second as I'm approached with the usual "sir are there drugs in this room that we should know about"
>I tell them no
>They ask what the trouble is
>being drunk and dumb I say "I kissed a girl and she got me sick"
>it actually worked
>turns out the witnesses and grandma called the cops on me because they thought I OD'd on heroin or some shit
I hope my story felt so under 21 that it made you fucking cringe.
This was me. I got worse.
I had an ex that really didn't like my drinking, blew it off, broke up and finally felt free. Started drinking a six pack every night, sometimes more sometimes less but if I was to average it out it would probs be something g like that.
On the weekends I would just drink all damn day. Wake up with a beer to keep the hangover/anxiety at bay. I did this for 6 months with the weekend drinking nearly always resulting in blackouts and consuming upwards of 15 drinks. I wasn't even keeping track. It was probably more.
Got a new gf that I absolutely love but was cool with me drinking. Went on a 5 day bender and had some pretty shitty withdrawals. Also started smoking pot occasionally which I never do sober because it makes me anxious as Fuck. Anyways I decided to sober up last week and holy Fuck was it awful. I can't imagine how bad it has to be for the liter of vodka a day drinkers. If you can stop drinking do it. If you can't, get help. If you're truly an alcoholic it will get worse. The benders will get longer, blackouts more frequent, hangovers more intense and it will eventually turn on you.
AA isn't all that bad. They're not gonna judge you because you weren't living under a bridge sucking dick for vodka. You will see see those people but there are some are high functioning drunks like I was.
Just some food for thought guys. I'm 24 btw.
>sitting down and can't feel a thing
>decide to stand up
the intruders breaking into my house
>be me last night
>bored af so marathoning archer season 7
>drink 10 beers
>smoke two bongs
>take two xanax
>pass out on the living room floor
>wake up at 7am from cat pawing my hair
>can barely stand up
>feed cat make coffee
>pass out in chair for 30 minutes
>guzzle coffee do a bong rip
>take 5 minute shower
>stumble out of my house and drive to work in a daze
>get to work 20 minutes late
>of course i see my boss on my way to my desk so she notices I'm late
>take a percoset
>drink a can of monster
>finally start to feel human
>1/2 day left at work
>will do it all over tonight
Wew lads. Anyone else relate? I've been living like this for years. Hopefully one of these days i just die in my sleep.
I used to enjoy it somewhat. Now I straight up don't enjoy it, even though I still like the taste of some stuff. I just get really sick from it. Not even drunk, not even hungover, just nauseated/weird.
Vodka and xanax makes me a functioning human being, but I can't currently drive due to the spinnies, and agree that nobody should be driving in under that condition, or otherwise get themselves in to a situation where they might embarrass themselves or otherwise care about the impression they make on the people around them.
>stop drinking for 3-5 days.
>realize life is extremely boring
>realize why normies watch all this garbage on netflix or play vidya or have 'hobbies'
>realize drinking is a lot more fun then that shit
>start heavily drinking again for another month
>repeat for 3 years
>tfw psychological addiction to alcohol
I will do whatever go to pretty far extremes to get drunk every time I can but it I can, I'll just be hung over and nothing happens. I could then stay sober indefinitely for as long as I want.
This is a werid state to exist in.
A Hendricks gin and Cucumber sake martini to go with my ponzu and roe oyster shooter.
russian standard vodka warm with a cold grapefruit seltzer chaser. Russian standard is fucking great shit to drink room temp, no shitty alcohol or bitter taste and no burn.
I was drinking 4-5 nights a week for a long time, then really cut down after a sort of family intervention I had. Anyway, after only drinking once or twice a week now I went to my best friends house this weekend who I only maybe see twice a year. I lost whatever tolerance I had from how often I used to drink, and proceeded to black out and make a total fool of myself in front of a bunch of his friends and family, I think I was trying to hit on his sister too which I would never normally do. He's pissed off at me and I'm completely embarrassed. Fuckin' drinkin' bros
Has anyone else had almost permanent neurological problems from drinking? When I first started drinking, like most people when I got really drunk I would begin to slur my words pretty badly. I don't have a problem talking while sober, but now after even a single beer I find myself having to consciously enunciate words or I begin to slur a bit, my mind is completely clear but my speech is like I'm 6 or 8 beers deep already
That sounds tasty as fuck. Honey Bourbon. Mmm.. Is it smooth?
So you've never drank alcohol before?
You can be responsible, it can be done. Just don't act dumb. Take it slow, you may have a low tolerance.
I totally love the idea of bar-tending, learning new drinks. If you have the cash trying new things is awesome.
Being sheltered sucks, the problem is most sheltered kids end up coming out as adults and throwing themselves into scenes like this too heavily and then they lose themselves/money/friends/life. You don't always have to go whole hog. Just dip a toe.
Good to hear man, I hope that stuff all helps.
You can do it!! I have faith! And glad you are doing this for you, and not someone else. That will help in the long term.
Sup man, OP here.
Not gonna lie, I laughed pretty hard at the part where you slipped on your own puke. That must have fucking sucked.
Hope you're doing better now and aren't having solo parties in the bathroom anymore.
For me I always throw up in the morning after its been rotting in my gut for hours. Shit's the worst.
So tell me al/ck/oholics, what's your worst/most embarrassing drunk story?
Shit, well I'm glad you're getting out of it, man.
I hope your livers doing ok. And your only 24? Christ.
I do worry about liver damage, and the past few times I've been hung over I felt like I was slowly dying. I'd keep googling liver cirrhosis/liver damage symptoms.
I OD'd on prozac back in '07 and was told I may have some small permanent liver damage from it. No idea the truth in that, it was a fuck load of time ago. But that worries me a bit.
I think I'll be ok as long as I limit myself and I don't have a job, so guilt keeps me in line. But that's probably a bad thing right? That I'm basically controlling myself with guilt. Both parents sides of the family have a history of alcohol abuse. My parent's are both straight edge. They were quite strict when it came to sex, drugs, alcohol. Probably why I am the way I am now.
I really hope you can get through it man. Day by day, week by week.
Oh god yes.
Y-you ok man?
I kinda get this, but to a lesser extent. I've always been able to stay relatively composed, even when shitfaced drunk, but my speech has always been the first thing to go. I wouldn't say it happens after one beer, but I can usually feel myself starting to slur after 3-4 drinks, even though I still feel very lucid.
I got 2 major ones that stick out with me
This is from a few years back
>morning, last day camping with bunch of friends, packing up
>lots of random booze/hard liquor dregs, couple shots left of this that and the other thing
>think 'hey, I can save room in the car if I drink em all now, plus I'm depressed and hate myself'
>take a mostly empty sprite bottle, pour them all in it very carefully and shake the shit outta that bitch
>marvel at my concoction
>"you're not gonna drink that are you?"
>"FUCKIN' RIGHT I AM"
>first few sips send me straight to buzzedtown
>it was actually quite tasty, not gonna lie
>I'm stumbling, slurring my words all over the place. Also the car is having trouble so we gotta walk all the way to the front of the park for some reason.
>my memory here is kinda fuzzy, like whole chunks of time/events are missing
>2 friends are entrusted in caring for me, making sure I don't get arrested, hurt myself, hurt someone else, ect
>eventually get home, I slept the whole drive home. I wake up in the car still drunk.
>I open the car door
>"hey oh man we're home already wow that was fast wait what the fu-"
>a bunch of acorn tops start spilling outta both my pockets like spaghetti
Apparently I sat under an oak tree for like 2 hours picking up acorn hats and stuffing them into my pockets. I said the apocalypse was coming and this was the new currency.
Blacked out drunk, and apparently raged out and trashed my room, broke my tv, my expensive headphones, thankfully not my computer.
Ive been trying to stay sober this year though, after drinking pretty much daily since i was 22 ish (now 27). Fucked up and drank every day january. then stayed sober for 3 months till may, drank every day for may and june, now been sober since july. hopefully gonna go for another year sober but well see
I've posted this before but will again
>have party that gets busted by the cops
>was only 20 at the time so had to go to underage "alcohol awareness" class (lol america")
>meet girl at alcohol class who invites me to party that night (kek)
>go to party with friends, get blackout drunk
>stumble home to my apartment to pass out
>end up going into neighbors apartment that was unlocked (3 girls) and passing out naked on one of their beds
>wake up to the cops there poking me making sure I'm alive
luckily I knew the neighbors and they didn't press charges after they found out it was me, but I nearly could have been a registered sex offender
see somebody. These aren't the problems but symptoms and you trying to cope with a problem. The drugs are a temporary thing to shake some shit loose. You can't bury shit so deep you'll never find it again. Its your mind trying to hide shit from itself, not gonna work.
Someone said depression was being stuckk in the past and anxiety is being stuckk in the future.
What's got you so fucked up. Do something for yourself live a little.
This happened exactly a month ago (that's actually kinda spooky). I posted about it at the tail end of a al/ck/ thread a few weeks back. This is a more fleshed out retelling.
last Halloween I discovered the joys of mixing vodka with a shitty, fruity girls night out cheap wine (I know - gross, kill yourself, ect)
>was actually a really good party, I won a long game of Funemployed (think cards against humanity and snake oil combined)
>I was happily lubed up, no more social anxiety
>moved on to jenga with tequila shots
>shit got intense
>eventually people get restless
>one friend who'd been pounding back shot after shot of tequila projectile vomits across my living room floor
>laugh so hard I piss myself
>run upstairs and change, throw my piss pants in the tub
>get downstairs and people are talking bout heavy shit, I forget what it was but I get over emotional and overshare
>I'm practically having a nervous breakdown here, full on hysterical
>'Hey you know what, this would be a great time to go out for a walk!'
>get the dog, get our shoes on and pile outta the house
>I'm getting increasingly paranoid, every noise freaks me the fuck out
>by the time we get to the park I'm shaking and crying and oversharing my emotional devastation to 2 close friends
>they awkwardly try to comfort me
>someone decides it would be better to go to the bigger park, because I'm getting louder and they don't want me to cause a scene
>once at the big park I completely lose it.
(cont, in another post.)
This is where my black out starts, for the most part, exception being a few spots leading up to it.
Apparently I ran to every light post in the park along the path and threw myself to my knees and screamed up at the light, talking to it like it was a higher being (“Fall to my knees and ask God why”). I yelled repetitive phrases like
>"Why am I here?" "Why am I still alive?"
>"Nothing matters" "Let me die"
>"Life isn't fair" "Kill me".
I slammed my head against the metal light poles repetitively until I was grabbed and dragged away, but I fought them and I constantly slammed myself against the ground, concrete paths and parking lot.
When my husband tried to talk to me and asked me questions I said that God was dead and that I was Satan or was being controlled by Satan.
By this point everyone else abandoned us at the park and went back to our house to sleep. Our roommate though came back to the park at 5am once he realized we weren't home yet. He brought his car and the two of them had to pick me up and haul me into the back seat against my will.
I eventually got guided upstairs to bed. I woke up covered in grass, scrapes and bruises. I had to nurse that hang over literally all day long. I couldn't keep water down for the longest time, just kept throwing it up with stomach acid. I just laid up in bed and breathed and sipped water for 4+ hours. Bruised my head, legs arms. Scrapes on my knees, palms, wrists. Some of the bruises still haven't fully healed, but I think I'm anemic due to a condition/disease I have.
So uh. Yea. That was it.
I lived like that for a few years, my drugs of choice were heroin and ketamine though. These days I just have 1 day a week where I take kratom, benzos and alcohol.
Still wouldn't mind if I died in my sleep desu.
been 'away' from alcohol for 6 years, decide 3 days I want to buy Hendricks gin because I smelled an empty bottle at work.
Buy a bottle, been making chelsea roses' every night after work.
Looking for more delicious cocktails and or wines to make/sample, keep it somewhat summer themed if possible.
Hendricks is very good btw.
I'm glad I started drinking again.
Do you think you could drink 71 light beers and still hit a baseball afterwards? Personally I'd be surprised if I reached 30 without collapsing in piss and vomit.
>I couldn't keep water down for the longest time, just kept throwing it up with stomach acid
These are the worst hangovers. Haven't had one in a while, but have genuinely wanted to die during a couple of them.
It's not my most embarrassing in terms of other people seeing, but my most embarrassing moment to myself. I basically have no friends, and my 9 year old dog is all I have. I got drunk one night, let her out to go potty, and passed out on the couch. I woke up at 3am and found her sleeping on my porch in the cold because I never let her in. I felt like the biggest piece of shit in the world and never forgive myself for it. There's wolves and coyotes where I live, she could have wandered off or been killed
i was fine to drive bro.
whoa, kinda deep. don't worry, i see a shrink if that makes you feel better. i do live. i just take off 5 or 6 days a week ;)
benzos and ssris from my shrink. percs for a chronic neck problem i have. i only take them on the really bad days, aside from my ssri.
glad you got it under control bro. i kinda chilled out last night. just drank a 6 pack, smoked a little, and took one x ;)