I'm going to prison for a long time
What can I expect prison food to be like? Advice on how to make it better?
This video is typically a joke, but you're going to want to learn how to work with commissary food and apparently this is an example of such a dish consisting of it. Fritos, crushed doritos, ramen, hot water...
And now, story time anon. What the fuck did you do?
>>7859488
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1bei7vlf56w
>buzzfeed
But enjoy your Nutraloaf. It is considered cruel & unusual punishment in my country.
Shit....
I ate a lot of ramen noodles and tortillas filled with cheez whiz. The meals they serve in the cafeteria are really similar to school food. Also don't eat anything with fish in it, you'll shit your guts out.
One more piece of advice I can give is not to accept anything from anyone, not even mundane shit like candy bars. People might try to pressure you into taking gifts but it's best to politely decline.
attempted second degree murder on three people but it wasn't intentional. it's a long story and I can't get too into it but yeah, i'm fucked
>>7859514
If you can't get into it with your 4cuck buddies, who can you?
>attempted second degree murder
>but it was an oops
Adopt a pen name real quick and story time us.
>>7859504
because then you owe them.
>>7859488
>Advice on how to make it better
make friends with Bubba. he'll help you out
>>7859514
Have you gone to court yet? spoken to a lawyer? Was a gun involved is any way?
Attempted second degree is very defendable, you see a lot of cases reduced to misdemeanor assault or battery. Unless there was a gun involved, then you're fucked.
everything is mushy because it's made to be eaten with a rubber spoon. everything is bland and underseasoned. "meat" is suspiciously nothing like you would expect meat to be. canned fruit and vegetables is the best you'll get.
>>7859575
>tfw you're not in prison but feel a compulsion to eat corned beef hash from a can where the beef has been pureed into paste at least twice a week
It's got two day's worth of salt, please send help
former inmate, i served at military prison tho, and not in america
hotdogs,really dry burger,mash potatoes,rice and water
>>7859522
I nearly killed some people while drunk driving.
>>7859651
They have special prisons for people in the military?
>>7859659
yes. since you are no longer a citizen in the army. you have special prison mainly for people who deserted. usually the food is pretty dry and stale but people that work in the kitchen and have connections can get good meals
>>7859664
That's pretty silly. If you're tired of the army life, are you not allowed to quit?
>>7859667
no, in some countries the army is mandatory
you can quit but it usually involves being a troublemaker or having disability
>>7859667
Nope
>>7859667
There's a reason people have crippled themselves to get out of service
>>7859673
What a nightmare. Why do people live in these countries.
>>7859655
Kill yourself you degenerate fuck. Hope you get raped in prison.
>>7859677
it changes depending on the threat
in some countries you don't even have an army, just a border control type of thing
>>7859492
Im sure not having a ps4 is considered cruel and unusual for prisoners in your country as well
>>7859492
People willingly ingest soylent. I don't see how this is cruel or unusual. If it tasted -bad- maybe, but you're in a bland place doing in bland things, why give them fancy food.
>>7859690
It was really easy to get out of though, wasnt it? All my friends did social service instead and when it was time for me conscription was already abolished.
>>7859677
The countries where you can actually get conscripted for a longer time and have no easy way of getting out of it are usually the countries you cant just run from.
And if youre generally asking why people would want to live in a shit country the answer is: millions of people are doing everything they can so they dont have to.
bologna sandwiches.
>>7859970
I had that for lunch the other day and I'm not in prison.
>>7859689
>mentally damaged people willingly ingest soylent
fixed that for you
Yea seeing this makes me happy i dont have to commit crime to survive.
>>7859488
OP, If you ever get out, do me a favor. There's this big hayfield up near Buxton. You know where Buxton is? One in particular. Got a long rock wall with a big oak at the north end. Like something out of a Robert Frost poem. It's where I asked my wife to marry me. We'd gone for a picnic. We made love under that tree. I asked and she said yes. Promise me. If you ever get out, find that spot. In the base of that wall you'll find a rock that has no earthly business in a Maine hayfield. A piece of black volcanic glass.
You'll find something buried under it I want you to have.
>>7859488
What country?
I work in the jail system in Brazil and inmates food looks like pic related.
Breakfast: 2 breads rolls with margerine + 1 cup of tea or coffee
For lunch and dinner: Rice + beans + some cheap meat (hot dog, chicken, chicken nuggets, ground beef, soy "meat", sometimes an egg, etc) + salad (no dressing);
On Sundays they get a little piece of candy (usually peanut brittle or duce de leche bar)
Everything is cheap and bland, but decent enough and nutritious.
Three meals a day. Free bed. No utility bills or house payments. (Although if you have house payments and bills before you go in, expect them to be vultures when you get out and your house will be gone as well) So will most your family and friends. Plus every one who read the story of you almost killing a few people will bother you for years when it's re-posted every where over and over saying look what drunk driving can do. Don't expect a job after because nobody wants to hire someone with a criminal record when there's 500 others applying to the same job without one. Good luck finding a place to live without a job, car or money. All for one night of fun. On the other side, wake up. Use that as determination to make your life better. Go to Jesus. Ask for forgiveness. Right your wrongs. Bust your ass and do a 180. But if I were you, I would find an outsider who will reliably send you cash for your commissary account and eat ramen.
>>7859667
You sign a contract
>>7860066
Kek'd and check'd
>>7859690
>mfw didn't have to serve because of the 2 older brothers rule in germany
>>7860099
>Get money from outside, buy ramen
You will need the sodium and extra meals. Do this.
Look online for your jail's food service provider, you'll get a good idea of what to expect. Some food providers are miles ahead of others.
>>7859492
>these rich upperclass assholes throwing a huge tantrum over bad tasting food are the same people who tell you to check your privilege.
Let that sink in for a minute.
>>7860099
>Go to Jesus. Ask for forgiveness.
>>7860145
That's actually great advice. Even though it's obviously bullshit, professing to have "found jesus" is a very good thing if you're up for parole or have a new hearing. The sheeple love to hear that someone turned around and "found jesus".
>>7860149
exactly
>>7860097
America from what I'm guessing. Only place you're worried about the shittiest food as opposed to worrying about being starved.
>>7860149
Fair enough
>>7859543
>ramen
>mayo
>mustard
>honey
>relish
>tuna
>canned oysters
>>7859679
>degenerate fuck
Don't use that word on /ck/, you degenerate fuck. Stop roleplaying that you are a /pol/tard.
>>7859488
smoke weed, it makes shitty food tolerable.
>>7859677
t. NEET of 28 years with no passport
>>7859543
>mfw watching this in a comfy white suburb
>mfw I now know the rules of the streets
>>7859514
Yes you can get into it, what happened?
>>7859655
That's what they want you to believe. Accidents happen, coincidentally people were where you were drunk driving. It's not really your fault. Try drunk driving again, I promise you there won't be any people standing in your way.
>>7859975
Which is your prefer condiment? Mustard for my sad sandwiches.
>>7860401
www.imdb.com/title/tt0111161/
>>7859488
alright i got time..
it aint that bad bruh. depends on where you at and if you get money on the books. if you got family that has a little money it helps a lot when you down. I had money stashed after I got hit up and i trusted my girls mom to call it in, she took some "for the baby" but she did me good for 8 years. you get out on OR? pay a bond? how come you aint in co right now?
bruh if you out now you should just start flipping some real fast, you going to prison anyway fuck it, come up on some money and give it to somebody you trust like senpai to put it on the books every other month it aint like you can do it yourself and that 150 go fast bruh. everything cost inside.
the food is easy, either you got money or you dont. prison food is weak, sometimes you get something special like when they get donated shit for holidays or a some factories freezer go out but they always fuck it up and make it taste like some retirement home charly brown kinda food, bland as fuck. the food you can make in the cell is tolerable at best but you can make it spicy at least. I pieced money up every month with my celly cuz we was the same set and we was cool. no homo. some fools get robbed so be careful. you can get wrapped up quick inside even when you didnt do nothing so dont go telling fools you got money. if you poor then fuck it you dont have a choice anyway just make the best of it, you can always trade up food just make sure you know what they are saying when you trade up.
(pic) tapatio packs bruh, my life saver locked up. put that shit on everything.
>>7859488
First: stay alive.
Rice and noodles get you long way, spice it up with ground beed
Last advice: behave, and stay out
>>7859975
Eat it every day for lunch for the next 5 years and report back.
>>7860440
Thanks my nigga
Mad love
>>7860440
what did you get locked up for?
>>7859655
Have fun in prison, Beecher.
>>7860097
>tfw beans so expensive we can't eat it anymore, but criminals can
Also viva Dilmae porra
>>7860440
TIL black people have access to /ck/
>>7860149
This is great. But doesn't really help if you got radicalized by Islam in prison.
>>7859655
You're supposed to precede that sentence with "I allegedly".
>>7860623
>>7859655
You're an absolute shit. Have those people recovered? Did you do any permanent damage?
>>7860066
I've always wondered what this could be? Offal perhaps?
>>7860504
hey, someone else actually watched that show.
>>7859492
God I hate these fucking people.
>>7860921
They're dead you double baka.
Get swole while you're there
>Nigga got killed for a pack of top ramen
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ooGLzqDGd0w
>>7860504
Man I fucking loved that show. Beecher is the best character after his flip out
>>7859488
The food will taste delicious considering all the dick you'll also be eating.
>>7860440
holy shit this is the blackest writing I have ever seen
>>7861012
He said "nearly". Can you not read?
>>7860977
I think it's a mcdonalds burger patty.
>>7860977
hamburger cooked via steaming
>>7860149
Unless you sound like a desperate nutcase who has been brainwashed.
>>7860977
I'm probably wrong but to me it looks like chocolate cereals on melted Kraft singles over some kind of bread.
>>7859488
buy tons of dorritos and m&ms there, make sure someone deposits money in your account
How long are you going in for, OP?
>>7861193
He said long time. Who cares, he's there for a reason, right?
Prisoner: buy a cooking ook. Even talk to the chefs
>>7859543
>not too much mayo
>im lactose intolerant
>>7859488
Nice bento box
>>7861180
>buy a bunch of chips, honey buns and candy
>get robbed by a nigger
>>7859488
Why on earth are you suppossed to make it better?
Youre a friggin prisoner. You should die.
>>7860574
>beans
>expensive
You must live in a really remote and desolate place. beans are the cheapest food aside from rice.
>>7861371
>You must live in a really remote and desolate place. beans are the cheapest food aside from rice.
You know prices are different in Brazil from where you live, you likely american.
>>7861429
yeah, no beans and rice last I checked was a pretty universal poor food.
hows that olympics prep going for you? enjoying the slum raids? think another ref will be beheaded in these games?
>>7861438
>yeah, no beans and rice last I checked was a pretty universal poor food
Maybe you should check again since the price of beans has increased over 66% in the last year and are approaching the price of fish.
But dont let facts change your ignorant opinion retard.
>>7861452
I'm sorry your shit hole of a "country" is the exception that makes the rule.
>>7861429
Just for you anon, I looked at the top bean producers:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bean
Brazil is #3. So either your economy is so fucked other 3rd world countries can beat you to it or your government is so corrupt you cannot feed yourselves.
In either case, it is only your fault.
>>7861452
Ha ha man Brazil is a fucking dump
Going to jail doesnt bode for intelliigence, though
>>7859655
>I nearly killed some people while drunk driving.
so how many times have you been arrested for dui you degenerate, since they went right to attempted murder?
>>7859488
I know nothing of prison food, but I think you should tell us which prison you are going to, as I imagine it varies a lot. Or at least tell us the country. This is of course assuming that this thread has legitimate grounds.
>>7861502
>so how many times have you been arrested for dui you degenerate, since they went right to attempted murder?
Not OP, but nearly killing or killing someone when driving drunk doesnt require any prior convictions or tickets or anything to be charged with attempted murder or murder for that matter. One conviction for one action, as it should be.
>>7861043
this was already posted you absolute fucking idiot
>>7861515
So like i ran over your mom? Sorry I was intoxicated. Probation some?
>>7859655
Well, any sympathy I felt for you is gone. Enjoy that prison food, you retarded fuck.
>>7859488
If you're buying commissary sometimes they have will have a touch screen.
Other inmates will sometimes go over your shoulder and press a button and try to order shit from your commissary.
Don't buckle and erase it and don't buy shit for anybody.
Also, watch out for people who should be taking medication. Sometimes they won't take it and they'll snap on you. Throw a punch at you out of the blue.
>>7859488
Why the fuck should it be better?
They should feed you grass, better still, give you a rope
I remember the food being really good
>>7859655
I really hope you die in there
>>7859527
ya that was the point
>>7859488
worked at one dont eat the soup op inmates tend to add extra "ingredients"
>>7859488
a lot of butt semen
>>7859655
A kid I knew in high school was saddled with this shit too. He was going to plead out and only get 1-2 years, but he got picked up on another DUI before the sentencing hearing and ended up getting locked up for 20.
>>7859488
buy ramen, open two packets use half a pack of seasoning on each
save one pack of seasoning each time you open two packs of ramen to use on the prison food
buy mayonnaise and sriracha from the commissary to add taste to the food
try to make friends
look out for jugging and anyone who seems to be carrying shit
>>7859492
>spitting the food out because they don't like it
wtf is wrong with these faggots
>>7860440
I had no idea that REAL NIGGERS actually went on 4chan.
>>7859655
How about you just kill yourself for being such a selfish prick that you'd endanger others for your enjoyment.
Have fun getting raped and aids in prison asshole
>>7859488
Hope you like black sausage with white sauce
>>7859667
Are you retarded?
>>7860328
>It's gangsta mom! You just wouldn't understand!
>>7859655
>nearly kill people drunk driving
>actually go to jail
lie. nobody ever gets in trouble for killing or maiming people drunk driving.
Siberia has a Very notable population of Ex convicts and Escapes... Just saying...
Study up on Survival Buy books that have information about edible and Useful plants.. Books are also good for starting fires.
Also, Putin is offering free land further southwest..
Bro, Its Jail or You write a book.
Fuck the AR-15 M-16.
You need reliablity.
AK
P.S.
Ammo = its weight in gold in Siberia
Write a book or die
>>7859492
I hate my generation.
>>7859659
In the U.S. military, there are not only special military prisons where you do nothing but hard labor all day, but the charges that get you put there are strictly under the UCMJ, which is an entirely separate legal system. Meaning, you can absolutely get tried on double-jeopardy as a military member, totally legally. You serve your civilian sentence as soon as the military one is done.
The simple answer is don't break the fucking law.
>>7859655
Serves you right.
>>7859488
sausages. lots and lots of sausages.
>>7859492
>Nutraloaf
"There's a lack of human respect with this that really bothers me."
like the mongoloid who got incarcerated and still won't behave behind bars? well, fuck any human respect for him. I reserve human respect for people humans.
>>7859492
>I'd be so furious if I was given this
oh no, a person mad about being in prison
don't break the fucking law kiddos
don't fucking drink and drive, don't talk to the police unless you absolutely have to, stay in front of your computer for most of your life and you'll be good
>>7859488
Can't speak of prision, but I spent some time in county jail.
.In the morning we got bagged lunches. Bread, sliced telly meat (salami or balgnoa), mustard, mayo, an apple, powdered juice, milk, and a protein bar. Our 8 man cell had a guy in the kitchens who got us extra protein bars and apples.
For dinner we got a hot meal. Mostly veggies and some kind of carbohydrate. I usually traded my hot meals for other things.
The comissary tends to have chips, raman, hot sauce, jerky, chocolate, etc. You just tell somebody on the outside what you want and they buy it. Google the prison commissary closest to you and you can see what they have. Leave some money to somebody you trust though because you can't pay for it unless you bring money with you.
I only bought from the commisary once, but I got the biggest pack I could and made it last. The day I was to be released I pulled out everything I bought or saved and three my 7cellmates a party. Is never seen them so happy and it was the only day any of them eher talked above a whisper.
It was a bunch of cheap junk food, but they treated me like an emperor throwing a feast. I kinda miss those guys.
>>7859655
I hoped you die a horrible, painful death
>>7860440
t. White boy trying to act like he been to prison
>>7859492
I would buy this.
>>7864591
Other tips
The commissary sometimes sells other crap. One guy was super excited because he owned the biggest cup in the cell, and made a point that anybdy could use it if they asked. Another guy owned a deck of good playing cards and would play anything. I taught him to play an Italian game Cassino and every day he asked me to play.
Never ever walk barefoot. They will probably give you corks for the cell and sandals for the shower. If you sent in bed wear footwear.
Check asap to see if you can bring a book. Some allow you to bring a few as long as you donate them when you leave. Bring the longest ones you enjoy. I was allowed 3, so I brough some Game of Thrones books. Most will also have a small laibrary, but if you can bring your own.
Plan a bodyweight workout reutine ahead of time. Look up prison/convict workout for tips.
If you need glasses buy a pair of cheapie readers to wear beforehand and have them with you. Don't bring good ones.
These tips will help you stave off boredom and you will be bored.
When you go in you won't get much. I got pants, a shirt, a sweater, boxers, 2 pairs of sox, 2 towels, a thin matress, crocks, sandals, toiletries. Lined paper, part of a pen, envelopes, a blanket and a fartsack(matters cover, use it!)
Remember, toothpaste works as shaving cream.
Everybody wants paper/envelopes. Unless you need them save them and trade them.
The towels will be tiny. Before you use them wipe all the water you can of your body with your hands. Make sure to hang them to dry in your cell.
Otherwise be quiet, be chill, and keep your head down. Don't accept gifts, but traded are ok and respect the pecking order, but don't be a bitch.
Also enjoy your sleep lol. That's gonna be your new hobby.
Also you will probably get jail time or probation with a decent public defender. One of my cellmates in Jail was a career armed burgler.
>>7859488
GET USED TO THE TASTE OF COCK
also TOILET WINE
>>7864644
Also be cool to cops and COs, they respect that. They won't tell you, but many will treat you better than the riff raff.
Hell when I got out the guy who arrested me came looking for me at my job just because he knew I sold electronics and knew my shit. Still says hi to me when he sees me. Coolest cop I ever met.
>>7861452
Your own fault for allowing soy.
>>7864607
>posting on /ck/
>calling people white
baka at faggots these days.
was born in el salvador.
>>7860440
Please make this a pasta
>>7865433
how do you do that?
>>7859514
>>7859655
how does one get murder charges from that? Did you like drive a truck into the living room of your nemesis?
>>7859679
>>7860921
>>7861330
...
what the fuck is wrong with you ck? "accidentally" murdering some people and it's chool story time, and suddenly such hate for dui?
Aren't you just supposed to cry to media and go to rehab for week or so and all is forgiven? Thats how it works for celebs atleast, right?
>>7865463
Too many redditors on 4chan these days. Drunk driving makes you a dick, but these guys insulting OP are getting too morally righteous, the mark of a redditor.
>>7859655
in your car or on the street?
>>7860440
thanks for sharing your story homie. i enjoyed this read
>>7860440
>didnt do nothing
>>7865552
He nearly KILLED people. Those people were very close to being NOT ALIVE anymore. That goes way beyond being "a dick."
>>7859492
>do something cruel and unusual to another human being
>get sent to prison
>"this food is cruel and unusual"
pretty fucking fitting, then
>>7859655
yeah i hope you get raped in prison and sent there for a long time
you are an irresponsible fuck who thinks too highly of himself and was too fucking cheap to buy a cab or uber home
people like you SHOULD be rotting behind bars
>>7865552
i've been personally affect by cunts who think their dui was no big deal
my sister nearly died and needs a cane to walk from now on because of these dumb cunts who were so full of themselves and their driving ability that they actually got behind the wheel
>>7865463
>suddenly such hate for dui?
if you drunk drive then you are nothing but a selfish cunt with no self awareness whatsoever
i'm probably the biggest alcoholic i know and i would NEVER EVER drive drunk
the fuck is wrong with you
>>7859655
You deserved it subhuman scum.
>>7859488
I am a nurse in a county jail. Inmates get two cold meals and one hot each day. Breakfast is cereal, non-fat milk, a hard boiled egg, and an apple. Lunch is the hot one. Usually something like a corn dog and a chunk of cornbread, and some canned veggie. Dinner is a bologna sandwich, maybe some coleslaw and a boiled egg. State prison is much better from what I've been told. Ice cream seems to be a favorite.
>>7865859
Are the eggs nice, or do they cook them until they get all dry and brown inside?
>>7865866
Make a guess.
>>7859655
>all these replies
kek
>>7865824
Driving drunk means like two beers nowadays. Don't act like you never drove a car after having a 3beers.
>>7859489
thats just how we eat in mexico everything with chili and lemon.
>>7865905
no, that's what it means TO YOU
and no, i haven't, because i'm not an irresponsible chucklefuck. i request an uber like someone who doesn't enjoy putting himself and others in danger
>>7865905
>genuinely thinks his reaction time and awareness aren't affect after 3 beers
this isn't a dickwaving contest about how much you can hold your alcohol. just stop
>>7860097
better food i eat on daily basis
>>7865925
I didn't say that but if you drive with less sleep than you really need or during a stressful day of work, your reaction time is also affected.
My point is that a couple of beers is fairly benign routine type of activity and most people don't think they are going to go out and kill someone because they are tired or slightly buzzed . Just get off your high horse and realize that most of do things that out others at risk with out a thought.
>>7865918
Good for you for not driving after a seemingly innocent beer. My point was that many people commenting think drunk driving is only some dude doing shots all night that stumbles to their car and speeds down the wrong side of the highway.
>>7860097
Sounds okay, but where do you get your vitamins? No fruit? No vegetables except beans and greens?
>>7865940
>Just get off your high horse and realize that most of do things that out others at risk with out a thought.
nigger that is ENTIRELY the reason i am on a high horse. because i DO realize most people don't give a fuck about operating a machine that could flatten someone with no effort
>>7865946
>My point was that many people commenting think drunk driving is only some dude doing shots all night that stumbles to their car and speeds down the wrong side of the highway.
yeah i know but both are drunk driving
>>7865953
Yeah but MOST people who drink have drove so yes those people should get off their high horse. I have as well when I was younger and I thank god that I didn't ruin someone else's life or my own. Good for you for being so reasonable so feel free to be high and mighty . I guess my comment was aimed not towards the rest of the commentators
>>7865866
The eggs are the only thing I ever grab from the kitchen. They're cooked fine...
expect to eat garbage mostly, some people get creative withj stuff from the comissary (spreads, etc) here's an article thing about it http://www.usprisonculture.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/prisonfood.pdf
>>7865972
>Yeah but MOST people who drink have drove so yes those people should get off their high horse
This is why flyover land and every '''city''' that lacks a functioning train system needs to be carpet bombed until there aren't even any viable insect eggs let alone traces of '''people''' living there
If you've been drinking, you take the train. What's so hard about that?
>alcoholic
>never drove drunk/buzzed in my life
>>7861618
Yes.
I am also an expert.
I watched 60 Days In as well.
I did a morning in a holding cell and they were required to serve us "breakfast".
It was stale corn flakes, hard corn bread, gelatinous cold sausage gravy, and a carton of room temp milk.
I had a little bit of everything but chugged that milk like it was from God's teat.
Have fun.
>>7866048
>only overpopulated shitholes should exist
LOL choke on your own dick.
>>7859492
they look kind of good
i love loaf
and casserole, especially the crispy corner parts
>>7859655
i feel bad for you, you're drunk and can't make rational choices
at least you weren't texting, they're just retarded
my dude bro who went to the slammer said that they fed him MAD GAMERGRUB when he was locked up.
pic related.
>>7860099
Oh fuck off.
>>7861369
Yes because going to prison for any reason makes you a piece of shit.
God damn I always forget how much I hate middle class white kids who think they know anything.
>>7861548
Can you actually form an opinion or are you just ruled by your.emotions like a woman?
>>7865824
Must be lacking oxygen up there on your high horse you fucking cunt.
He Fucked up and that all there is to it, people like you are the reason inmates go back to dealing and.stealing shit, because you think.one mistake is enough to condemn a man for life and yet still expect them to adhere to the same.rules you do after being Fucked by the system again and again.
>>7866048
I live in the boonies.
There are no public trains
There is no near uber drivers
And there is no taxi service
You can either call a friend or.walk your happy ass.down the road.and get.arrested for public intox.
And there police won't take you.home.most of the time, they just arrest and possibly beat your ass down.
So what the fuck would you do in my area?
>>7859655
enjoy your fucking gruel scumbag
>>7867432
The choice is simple. become a uber driver..
make cash and drive drunk at the same time.
viva la raza
>>7860066
lel
>>7867432
>You can either call a friend
There's your fucking answer. Or drink at home so you don't have to get in your car and risk hurting/killing someone, you stupid irresponsible piece of shit.
>>7867574
>call a friend
>posting on /ck/
leave him alone, quit picking on people.
>>7859655
unlucky.
i don't think you deserve to go to prison for what you did.
everyone seems to have some sort of lunatic aggression towards people who drive drunk. if you said you fucked a little kid or robbed a bank or something everyone would be like "dang man good luck"
drunk driving is a risk, but it's not a deliberately aggressive act. people blow it way out of proportion. i hope you get off with probation.
>>7867432
>get arrested for public intox
You'd have too be really goddamn drunk for that to happen. And if you can barely even walk or go five minutes without puking your guts out, you definitely shouldn't be driving.
Why not bring the beer to you, instead of going to the beer? It's much more economical, and if you need company, invite some people over.
>>7859514
>attempted second degree murder on three people but it wasn't intentional.
>but it wasn't intentional
How the fuck you accidentally attempt to kill someone?
>>7859492
fuck I hate hipsters
not a single one has ever had to eat cheap food to make rent
>>7867432
Drink at home
Wow that was fucking hard
>>7859488
I did a six month sentence for assaulting a police officer. He tried to handcuff me at a traffic stop. My car tax was out of date. He was just doing his job, and I apologized to him. But trying to cuff me for a minor traffic violation was way over the top as I was compliant.
Prison food is really nice as it's made by fellow inmates and thery don't wish to piss anyone off. I don't know about American prisons, though.
Here's my advice: be a 'grey man' - don't stand out. Get some work as it will make your time pass faster (I worked in the laundry). Don't borrow anything from anyone. Be cordial and polite to the prison officers, but NEVER grass. The last one is the most important.
>>7865552
Fuck off you degenerate fuck. EVERY SINGLE drunk driver thinks they're hot shit because they think they can hold their drink better than the rest of us plebs. Guess what, chucklefuck, you can't as well as you think, and you might not just get your worthless ass killed, you might kill somebody else. People who get hit with a DUI deserve to rot in prison because it is an absolutely inexcusable crime to commit.
>>7867004
I got public intox for exactly what this person said >>7867432
I chose not to drive and walked home. Got arrested for public intox. They threw a honey bun at me at like 0700 and said get up it's time for you to leave. Better than mowing down a family with a 3000 or more pound vehicle, though. $100 fine compared to the guilt of killing someone "by accident" and years in prison being someones bitch.
>>7868521
Why the hell would you drink to that much excess? What's the point?
>>7868527
It wasn't that much excess. I was walking normal. Got stopped on a county road walking. They breathalyzed me and said I was drunk and took me off. I was not stumbling all over or blacked out or anything. Just normal walking. There is just nothing better to do out in the county limits away from cities.
>>7868527
I can totally handle it. Are you a redditor or something? Not being a pathetic out of control drunk is totally a reddit thing to do. I'm a badass 4channer so I mow down strangers and call it an "accident"
>>7868533
you're not me so stop replying like you are please
>>7861150
>>7860631
>>7860155
>>7860149
>they still haven't found and cherished in the love of the Lord
Read the Bible friends, and don't harden your hearts.
For in this world is a delusion that is designed to make you feel like you are smart for not seeing the Truth, the Way and the Life.
>>7859543
That guy is outrageously sauced, thats how he got that mutant shape.
>>7859492
The food looks horrid but those people in the video makes me not care.
>>7868532
>I was walking normal
>pissed out of face
>"walking normal
drunks ALWAYS think nobody can tell.
we can tell. from 5 miles away. You're staggering and shitfaced, hell you probably fell down and didn't even notice/excused yourself
>oh I tripped, nasty root!
>>7868527
>>7868537
You seem like an asshole.
The guy clearly isn't spinning some kind of outlandish story so why are you going out of your way to say what he's describing is some sort of fantastical lie.
I honestly agree with him calling u breadditors.
>any story that I don't think I could have experienced is clearly a liiiiiie
>>7861079
>i am a retard
I will bet $37 this is not a black dude and will put up via paypal if proven wrong.
fite me irl
>>7865812
Confirmed redditfag
>>7868663
regardless of all that jazz, at least I didn't try to drive.
>>7868679
you're quoting two different people.
>>7859655
At least you aren't my other who drank a lot when she was pregnant with me.
>7865950
Yes, they sometimes get a side of veggies, I just forgot to mention. Fruits, on the other hand, are not provided, but families are allowed to bring in when they are visiting.
>7865929
What the hell do you eat? ramem and frozen dinners? It's your own fault for being lazy.
>>7861371
>>7861438
>>7861467
Rice and beans have always been cheap, and the food when you have to feed lots of people (jail, schools, military, etc). We have seen a rise on beans price recently, but it's likely it will go down again, as it has happened before.
That anon is just a pleb memeing and/or trying to make some political point.
pic related is shit that was on my facebbok feed.
>>7868731
>le killing people is cool maymay
Go back to /k/, psycho
>>7868683
you would lose that bet white boi. better keep that money to get more pokemon cards and lube..
tell your sister i'm coming over tonight..
what do they feed you if you are vegan, Muslim/hindu, gluten free, etc?
>>7869107
>roleplaying as a nigger on /ck/
this could be the lowest of the low
>>7865463
>what the fuck is wrong with you ck? "accidentally" murdering some people and it's chool story time, and suddenly such hate for dui?
Attempted murder could be for a valid reason, even though it may not be so in the eyes of the law.
Drunk driving is haphazardly putting potentially hundreds of lives at risk, lives that are likely not within the agent's social circle.
It's one thing to intentionally take someone out that deserved it, but quite another to force random bystanders to play Russian Roulette.
>>7868521
free honey bun tho
>>7869184
>vegan
Only in San Francisco, seriously.
>Muslim/Hindu
I'm 70% certain that all US prisons will abide by religious restrictions, however you'd probably get even worse food and you'd be treated like shit by everyone.
>gluten-free
Only if you can prove you have a medical need (i.e. an allergy).
>>7860097
Do people manage to make their own pao de qeijo and prigadero out of cheese wiz and chocolate milk and shit like that?
>>7865905
I never have.
Not all of us are morons.
>>7869935
You mean the inmates? well, kinda...
Families can bring some non perishable food like biscuits, milk powder, sugar, choclate milk mix, etc
They can't make pão de queijo because it requires baking and ingredients they don't have access to (like eggs, oil, cheese).
For the same reasons, they can't make real brigadeiros, but they make some rolls out of milk powder, chocolate milk mix, sugar, water, and who knows what else and call those "brigadeiros". They also make "cakes" with the ingredients they have available (which they call "bolo de cadeia" kek).
>>7869184
vegan..nope
you could have the vegetarian option to eat, its not so bad. religious fools always try to claim some stupid eating shit so they can get some extra bowls of salads, cheese noodles and doritos, bake potato, vegetable stew shit like that it aint hard to eat if you dont want meat.
>>7859677
>god why do people live in those countries
>FUCKING MUDSLIME REFUGEES RUINING MY UROP
>>7859492
the people in this video look like the types who hate all food, period. they should have gotten some morbidly obese gutter trash eating slobs to judge the quality of the loaf
>>7865905
>some people actually think this way
fucking human trash
>>7870399
>Driving after two beers is the same as getting behind the wheel hammered
People who act like you're the devil if you've had a sip of alcohol and want to drive are fucking twats.
>>7868421
This reminds me of my school lunch menu. Super looked forward to the baked chicken days
>>7868421
>prisoners eat better than you
>>7860066
Jesus that hamburger looks like a polycystic kidney that's been flattened.
>>7870732
ikr
apparently a lot of the quality of the mains and stuff is bad
but it can't be any worse than mcdonalds
>>7868421
prisons must go through a shit load of bread
>>7870962
all the ones i been to have their own bakeries.
>>7870266
Thnx huebro learned something new
>mfw I gained 10 lbs in Belo horizonte eating cheese bread and drinking cerveza original
>>7871012
He nearly KILLED people ALIVE.
>>7871037
these PEOPLE couldve been DEAD in LITERAL SECONDS
>>7859655
all of these social shut in weaboos just love to judge people on things they are never able to do. They can't drive drunk because they have no reason to, they don't have friends or have sex with women.
They just need to feel superior to you about SOMETHING even though they live with their parents or have a useless degree or something.
Anyway, I was in jail a couple of nights, I'd say get that commissary ASAP. work out when you can, I hope you aren't weak right now, because if so, you WILL get picked on in a long term prison. The food will make you lose weight, but keep working out when you can, you will have something to do, build strength (but lose weight) and establish your place. It's just like being in the military which 95% of this board has never done because they are sheltered faggots.
You don't have to BEAT DAT ASS NIGGAH like in the movies. You need to show you're a man and gain respect of your peers. I never got picked on in the military or in jail, and im only slightly above average build. Buy peanut butter for protein and lift. Make a few friends.
Also, my sincere condolences to you OP. I hate hearing this happened. Go in there and be a man.
>>7870972
like I can see how when you're eating the same thing week in week out how it can get repetitive
but that looks fine
>>7870972
I recognize those chips and beans.
>>7869184
When you go to prison you lose your made up special snowflake conditions
>>7859492
This thing gave me cancer. What a bunch of unlikable faggots.
>>7859655
how come you're responsible for your decisions if you drink and drive when you're obviously in an altered state of mind and shouldn't be held legally reliable for your decisions, yet when a woman drinks and fucks she can claim 'whoopsies' and press rape charges on anyone she wants because she was """impaired"""
it's like if this guy was legally able to sue the people he hit for getting in his way and everyone around him propped him up and lauded him like a hero for doing so
>>7871062
>weaboos judge others because they want to feel superior, fucking faggots
I wish I were a hardened man like you bro, jk desu
>>7871274
son you're about as sharp as a bowling ball
I'd probably just an hero if I knew I was going to the pokey for a long time
>>7859492
it looks pretty good
>never been in prison
>never been arrested or been in any trouble with the law
>MFW fuckers who've done time try to act like tough shit and intimidate e because I havent done any time
>>7868421
>kosher beverage
>kosher beverage
>kosher beverage
>>7866349
I did it daily for years you're missing out it was one of the best feeling ever, not gonna fuck with it in the future though and again I live on the country side so Experiences may vary
>>7859488
My best tips for you concerning being locked up
>County; if someone asks if you want to spread, it's a good thing
>Prison; not so much
What's with all of the MADD cucks in here freaking out over drunk driving? Do you buy into DARE propaganda too?
>>7875239
>freaking out over drunk driving?
Because I don't want to get hurt or killed because some drunkard was stupid enough to get behind the wheel when drunk.
>>dare propaganda too
What does that bullshit have to do with any of this? I don't give a crap what drugs you do, that doesn't harm me.
>>7859514
Do you come from/k/?
