>>7807901
Review Brah's mom looks deeeeeecent.
>>7807901
where did you get this?
delete now
>>7807901
In every way. My mom used to make me shitty meals and I would say little things to help her improve. She would flip her shit and say that I'm being mean, but she just can't take criticism and she thinks everything she does is right.
>Makes the fried eggs crispy and hard
>Overcooks meats
>Boils all vegetables
>Puts some basil leaves to make it look "gourmet"
>Touches food with her bare unwashed hands
>Over spices stuff or makes it too bland; no happy mediums
When she refused to improve or take advice, I just started cooking meals for myself. She keeps giving me shitty tips that I don't use, but whenever I do cook and she tries it, she says that it was good because I used her tips. This is when I moved out and started having friends critique my cooking, and I learned to use exact measurements, not bowls or cups or spoonfuls like my bitch of a mother does.
>>7807901
>dat smirk
his maw would get it
>>7807901
I didn't know reviewBrah's mom was a total hottie
makes sense he's a regular on /r9k/
momcest is truly a patrician fetish
>>7807926
>a cup isn't an exact measurement
Wew lad.
>>7807935
My bad. I meant "cup" as in she would take a fucking glass/mug cup equivalent to the size of 2-4 cups to put in ingredients and called it "one cup"
>>7807934
Opinions on momcest are the ultimate pleb filter.
>>7807939
At least you learned from it. Too often do children of parents like that get stuck in those ways.
DELETE THIS
>>7807926
>exact measurements
Gaylord detected
Is she a single mom?
I am about her age, if I date her I will become review brahs stepdad.
I would probably beat him unmerciful though to be honest. He needs to toughen up a bit.
>>7807955
>beating the child toughens them up
I'm so glad you're a 35+ year old virgin.
>>7807901
>"herbs ruin the food"
>"that steak is underdone. I can see pink in the middle"
>"I don't eat any of that foreign muck"
Yes, yes I am.
>>7807940
>shitbase
This isn't /aco/ fuck off with this garbage.
>>7807978
Pleb detected.
>>7807962
How would you harden him up then?
>>7807983
Lightly stroke his shaft while biting his ear tbqh.
>>7807983
The only people who need to worry about being "hard" are poor people or stupid people who have no other way of feeling valuable.
>>7807993
Good lord I hope you never have to raise a male human.
>>7807993
Nu-male detected
>>7808001
Not even close. Don't fuck with me.
>>7807993
Cucked nu-male detected.
No wonder you want to raise your wife's son.
Don't forget to show your tumblr how you owned that shitlord cis-scum hetero-enabler.
#BLM
>>7808005
I hate to be a dick anon but you need to be 18 to to post here or even lurk tbqhwya
>>7808018
I'm 19.
>>7808005
hello dyel
>>7808019
>is 19
>gets 19
Checked.
>>7808005
>that skinny little body
I'll knock you the fuck out matchstick man
>>7807901
She is better at coordinating a meal, like having everything get done at the same time.
But she doesn't know anything about the science of cooking or like why you do something. For example she asked me if she should salt and pepper a beef tenderloin before she put it on the grill. She also kept adding a flour slurry to gravy before it even came to a boil so by the end of the process she had basically made jello
She is a good baker though, you don't need to know shit to bake well
>>7807901
Yes, my mother hates cooking
>>7808005
>>7808045
I have an idea for the best /ck/ fundraiser ever.
We find the fattyiest fatty puh tattington and the skinniest hungry skellington on /ck/ and we have a no holes barred cagematch.
Winrar gets to bang reviewbrahs mom.
it really depends on the dish and the method of cooking. If it's on the grill I'm better but in the oven she is way better. Stove top we are about equal.
My mom grew up in a mountain village in Turkey. The only seasoning of any kind is black pepper, salt, pepper paste, or turkish version of red pepper flakes called pul biber. Everything tastes the same because its just those 4 seasonings. If I did cook I'm 100% sure I'd be better but thankfully my wife is pretty good.
>>7808059
That pic is cancer.
My mother is the better cook but her "menu" is limited and consistent.
My "menu" is a bit more varied but my consistency is pretty shitty. Seeing as I always change the recipe depending on my mood. I usually produce some good stuff though.
>>7807926
I would give her props for trying though. At least she didn't sit a bowl of spaghetti'O's in front of you on weeknights and take you to mcdonalds on weekends.
Though with your attitude it sounds like she would have been better off doing that because I am sure you thought you were 1337 from day one and tipped your fedora every time you schooled her.
>>7807901
What do you think she thinks of his review empire based on frozen pizzas and energy drinks?
>>7808081
how so?
>>7807901
Pictures like this ruin the immersion of how review brah presents himself.
>Moooooooom! You're embarassing me!
>>7807901
much better
>>7807926
Don't be mean to that nice lady. She had a hard life
>>7807901
His mom is Jan from The Office?
>>7808005
>literal fucking skellington mistaking '>8% body fat' for 'ripped'
I used to accidentally'd soft faggots like you when I was 16
>>7807988
This is really the only correct answer.
>>7807905
She looks like a pill popper
>>7808378
Fags desu senpai
>>7807901
context on gif?
>>7807901
Yes and she is aware of it since she paid for 2 cooking schools.
>>7808423
Why are nigger moms so mean to their children? They'd rather go to da club so they set lil Tyrone up to live with grandma.
Follow up question; why are niggers so mean to their mothers? It's mean to force your kids on to your mom.
Second follow up; why are niggers so mean to their grandmas? So many sweet old black women raise their grand children just to have them grow up to be pieces of shit. Then lil Tyrone goes and dindu nuffins and sweet old granny drains her life savings on her guilty as he'll piece of shit grandson to waste on his defense. Then granny dies heartbroken when lil Tyrone does life behind bars.
Third follow up; why are niggers such shit?
>>7808457
Too much salt, Jethro. Cut back a bit.
>>7808484
I'm more of a sweet over savory type of guy. I don't much care for salt. What's your problem Jamal? Hit too close to home?
>>7808484
Tyroahne on suicide watch
>>7808457
>why are niggers so mean to their mothers?
Abuse and neglect from said mothers
>why are niggers so mean to their grandmas?
See above
>>7807901
eeeeh, kinda. i mean, she has more experience and can get around some things and multi task, but im better at judging by taste.
>>7808457
do you actually know any black people on a personal level? or are they just things you see in movies and the news?
>>7808457
holy shit dude lol
>>7808550
I know plenty of blacks, the real question is; do you? I can't think of a single movie where any of the things I mentioned happen, but I had at least two black friends that lived with grandma because their moms were too busy finding the future father of their yet to be conceived chilluns. I don't think black children being pawned of on their grandparents makes the news really ever.
Fun fact, by childhood best friend just did 7 years for kidnapping and and armed robbery. He would March people to an atm at knife point and force them to make withdrawals. But hey, let's keep it cu/ck/ related... he used a knife he stole from the Chipolte he worked at to commit the crimes.
Since when does he do cat reviews?
>>7808682
Is he actually drinking ecto cooler out of a libby wine glass?
>>7808005
THANK YOU HUNGRY SKELETON
>>7808702
You have no idea what awaits you
>>7808753
I saw his video where he was nervous about getting bullied in school but otherwise I can't sustain interest in his stuff
But I hope he is doing it with some level of self awareness
>>7807901
nah brah, ma is gah
Yes, easily. She is a baby boomer who worked full-time her whole life. Shitty cook
>>7808423
>>7808457
LOL that was obvious bait, but my fucking sides. BTFO
>>7807901
sauce me on the gif pls
they're so qt
>>7807983
Buy him a gun and make him kill small animals with it
>>7807901
ReviewBrah's mom is top qt
more pls
>>7807901
WHAT THE FUCK IS HE DOING DRESSED LIKE THAT
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>7807901
Yeah but I still liked what she made.
Buttered noodles with ground beef. Just really basic but filling and agreeable.
>>7807978
its a pretty great comic
>>7807901
>ywn pound reviewbrahs mum all night then take him to pickup some burgers to review the next day
>>7807901
Yeah, but that's not setting a high bar.
She frets about making "healthy" meals, so pretty much everything has half the salt and butter it's supposed to and ends up bland. She's afraid of undercooked meat, so everything gets overcooked by far too long and ends up tough. She liked to get us filet mignon when it was on sale because it was "the only meat she couldn't ruin", but we just never had the heart to tell her it still wasn't very good. Veggies were always soggy from being steamed too long.
We always ate it, though.
>>7807901
She bakes cakes and that's about it. The rest of her food is of the "empty box into pot/pan, add water" variety
>>7809832
>reviewing day old burgers
>>7809832
Lord above just end me now
>>7809832
why do you make me feel these feels
>>7808368
Okay. But she also looks like a beautiful woman.
>>7808457
I've found the following to be the case in my limited experience:
Black families don't use respect or wisdom as determining factors in establishing authority; they use the threat of violence.
From day one, they teach that the rules are made and enforced by whoever can beat the shit out of subordinates. Parents teach their children they are to be feared, not respected.
So you end up with this wolf pack mentality where once black kids reach a certain age, they constantly test their elders to see where they stand in being able to physically dominate them. There was never any sort of sensible relationship there in the first place. It was just "I control you because you can't stop me," which leads to a lot of black youth going full retard the moment their parents can't physically or financially control them.
yes, I can cook circles around my mother. She isn't the worst, but she was a picky eater and she almost managed to breed that into me. When I started cooking, I learned how to properly cook veggies so they weren't unappetizing. Now she won't eat a lot of the food I cook unless I brunoise veggies or just leave them out. My parents also go out to eat like way too much. 3-5 times a week.
>>7808073
desu I put pul biber on most of my food...
>>7807901
his mom is fuckable
Yes, and so is my dad.
>>7808414
being disappointed of your sons autism in public but trying to smile for the camera.gif
>>7810874
Maybe 20 years ago... how thirsty are you fuckers?
>>7811450
I'll admit I have done many things I am not proud of. BUT GODDAMN IT I WAS HORNY
I am, because my mom refuses to use salt at all
My mother hates garlic and like 90% of herbs and spices and only knows how to make basic things like frozen meals and pasta with store bought jar sauce
So I'm going to say yes
>>7807926
Okay youre right on most accounts but almost no chefs do strict measures. As long as youre in the ballpark its going to taste the same.
>>7810253
L2read
>>7808005
SHOO SHOO GAINZ GOBLIN
>>7811484
that should be an allowable defense...
>But I was horny, your honor.
>Oh, well then, you're free to go.
>>7811768
I think it should only be acceptable if the defendant was "soooooo horny".
>>7807993
>>7807926
>>Touches food with her bare unwashed hands
is it bad if i do this all the time but i mostly cook for myself anyway
i just don't want this to be a problem if i ever have to cook for anyone else
>>7808005
Thank you mr skeltal
She uses too much oil and thinks butter and margarine are "the same thing".
But that's cool.
>>7808005
Why are Gordon Ramsay's forehead ridges on your chest?
>>7807901
Yes, but she's a way better technical baker, including temperature-sensitive candies and such.
REVIEWBRAH IS CUTE
CUUUUUUUTE
>>7807940
god he is a horrible artist
>>7807901
Probably, she can't cook chicken to save her life.
>>7807901
Well when Stouffers pizza is your competition it's not that hard
>>7808005
Fuck, I wanna suck your dick pls be over 18
Me by a long shot, neither one of my parents could cook honestly, I only learned when I got a job in s restaurant at 17 and worked my way up from dishwasher. If I hadn't I would probably be just as bad, but honestly if you have internet access there's no reason one shouldn't at least know the basics of cooking
In some respects I'm more refined and creative, but her repetoire is much larger
She is also a god-level baker
