Culinary Confession Thread
i microwave shredded kraft mexican blend with breadcrumbs and then eat the mixture with ketchup
I used to pop open a can of progresso and just go to town with a spoon.
Straight from the can.
I'm sorry.
>>7616904
You are a piece of shit.
As a kid I used to chew up chicken and mayonnaise sandwiches, eject the masticated food from my mouth, roll it into a ball and then microwave it for 30 seconds before consuming it fully.
I like ranch on pizza....and GOOD pizza...not just an attempt to make shit pizza taste better
I don't always do it but when I do I go hardcore, cutting the pizza with a fork and then submerging the entire thing in the cup only to emerge a completely ranch covered dripping hunk
I also will always lick the cap of the cup clean
>Be Navy cook for several years
>Green af new kid checks on board
>Says he went to Culinary School
>Cool, won't have to babysit him all day
>Ask him to make Campbell's Condensed Tomato Soup
>Brings me completed product. Looks like a thick, reddish goo.
>"It's too thick," he says
>Ask him how much water he put in it before he cooked it.
>Blank stare
Culinary school, ladies and gents.
>>7616935
Did you think you were a mother bird or something? Why the extra effort?
You know those sauce packets for au jus? Yeah, I use those. I also use taco seasoning packets.
callthe police i dont give a fuck come at be bros
>>7616952
Sometimes you want to simmer a pot of sauce all day long, and sometimes you just want to eat. No judgement here.
>>7616952
I usually make French dip on a whim. I buy roast beef and nice rolls at the deli and then grab a pack of these. It works in a pinch. It's not bad at all.
>>7616952
I use the taco seasoning packets. My husband is like 3rd generationMexican, so to him it tastes like mama made, because mama was raised in east LA. I make that stuff and any of his siblings show up and they're like
>Mmmmm smells delicious!
>>7616937
Ranch is shit. You know NOTHING of good pizza.
>>7616974
I don't live in NY or Chicago, so yes I do know good pizza since it actually exists in my city
>>7616990
>posts a picture of shizza
You just made my point...
Spaghetti with tomato sauce tastes fucking amazing with cheddar cheese on top.
Yes, it's delicious; yes, I eat it, but only when no one else is around because I don't want to hear the bitching.
i use garlic powder
i use MSG
i use pasta sauce from jars
i put my icecream in the oven
>>7616947
dude you literally asked him to make CAMPBELL'S tomato soup i don't really know what you expected?
i would have just brought you a can, popped it open, dumped it in a bowl, added some water and dunked it over your head.
I always order Big Mac without the special sauce and pickles.
I have a big removable decal that says, "Animal Control" that I put on my truck whenever I come across a deceased dog. I also have a white coat and a face mask and a clipboard and a little doggy stretcher. When I find one, I gear up and take that succulent pooch right in broad day light. I always make sure to grill it outside, even in the winter, because the neighbors pop their head over the fence and go, "MMMMM!" That smells good!" but they don't realize they're salivating for someone's dead pet that I stripped of a dignified burial and left the families without closure, all so that I could indulge in spicy hot dog chops.
>>7617018
No you wouldn't of.
>>7617013
I recently started using Garlic Powder alongside fresh garlic. Really surprised at how versatile and good this stuff is. Sauces will never be the same.
Same goes for Smoked Paprika powder. That shit is so good.
>>7616937
I always do a light drizzle of ranch on my pizza, but jesus, that's a bit much...
>>7616899
I don't care if my pizza is chicago style or new york style.
>>7617307
You know what else is good? If you have ranch seasoning on hand and "salt" the pizza with it
At my middle school they kept salt shakers of ranch seasoning i'm assuming because they didn't want to end up with tons of leftover ranch which only got eaten heavily on pizza day.....but it was really good. I'd still do it if mt parents actually kept ranch seasoning on hand often enough
>>7617313
Ooh, I'll try that.
I actually like canned ham like Spam
>>7617330
I fucking love Spam bro and I'm not even Hawaiian. It makes the best kimchi fried rice ever.
I cook pretty much every day but my knife skills are embarrassingly bad. Probably comparable to someone who's never cooked in their life.
>>7617338
I am the newly appointed Senior Knife Connoisseur of /ck/. We need proofs in form of webm.
I used to put tortilla chips on a plate, put ketchup on them, and then cover with cheese, then microwave. This was a long time ago.
I used to microwave up breakfast sausage and put it over rice. Once I did that, I holocausted my sausage rice with ranch, hot sauce, soy sauce, A1 sauce, pickle slices, mayo, and ketchup and mixed it all up.
I was like 15.
I eat oats
>>7617338
i suck at knifing too
i tried to sharpen my knives and now they're worse than before
>>7617357
I'm sorry. I don't have any webms of myself to share.
I used to pretend to be pretentious on here like 5 years ago but my reality is that I can only really cook quesadillas and mostly eat fast food.
I'm the reason people thought the costanza meme came from here instead of /sp/ because I posted it a ton of times within the first week of it's inception of which I had no part of.
>>7617400
What did you use to sharpen them? I have a shitty honing steel at home that doesn't do much. I'm guessing you need a proper sharpening stone or something. But I really have no idea what I'm doing when it comes to sharpening.
>>7617020
what the fuck
>>7616899
i sometimes heat frozen lasagna on the central heating.
>>7616959
this guy gets it
here's some ass
>>7617726
Post more, faggot
I hate anyone who drinks soda.
I buy jars of minced garlic because I hate mincing it myself.
>>7616911
Shiet i do this all the time
While this shit doesn't taste as strong as fresh, it's pretty ideal for any long-simmering dishes.
You can use this and save the fresh shit for garnish or throwing in at the very end.
>>7617726
Proceed...
>>7616904
now THAT"S what i call degeneracy.
And the fucking mod ruins another thread
>>7616899
was the pic porn or is the janitor on a pic deleting spree again
>>7617013
There is literally nothing wrong with any of these.
The ice cream one just sounds like a pain though.
>>7617466
I hate sour things on my burger.
I like to eat at some fried chicken restaurant everyday, because I can't afford to eat at some steak restaurant everyday.
I replace unsalted butter with low sodium butter. I don't know if it's a good replacement but I have never seen unsalted butter at the store
>>7616899
I went full vegan for a while after I fell in love with fluttershy
I'm not even baiting
I microwaved a frozen pizza last night with no regrets.
>>7617608
Like...your house's central heating?
You just set it on the floor by the vent?
My pocket knife is pretty much the only knife I use for food prep.
Today I drank a mug of beef broth with spices mixed in. I'll probably do it again, too.
>>7618822
I buy it in the squeeze bottle so I don't have to use a spoon to scoop it out.
I can belt out a hollandaise no problem, but I can't cook a steak to order to save my life. Always ends up very rare, which is at least how I enjoy it, but my medium family hates it.
>>7623925
>drank a mug of beef broth with spices mixed in
>>7617386
Same
