What do you do when you're at a restaurant and the table next to yours has a baby who won't stop screeching?
>>7603338
I continue my conversation with my guests and act like the adult I am.
>>7603338
I am thankful I'm not an autist who gets upset at other peoples evidence of intense sexual relations
It obviously is going to depend on the situation.
Last time I was in that situation (in a place where it wasn't appropriate) I asked to have the food boxed up, tipped the served, and explained why we were leaving.
I'm honestly too old to put up with that kind of shit.
>>7603338
I casually flick lit matches at it.
>>7603338
Distract the baby with chloroform ....... obviously
Walk up to it and slap its ass, then wait to see how the parents react.
I usually crop dust anyone who annoys me.
>>7603338
PUSH IT BACK UP THE CUNT THAT SPAWNED IT
>>7603371
>hahahafuck.jpg
Did this today so satisfying
Oh fat family of five walking side by side I have to stop and make way for in the supermarket, you just walk through everything huh?
I was drinking pretty heavy last night, enjoy that dank cloud buddy it's gonna linger for some time
>>7603373
Of course it would annoy me. But if you are willing to get so bent out of shape over something you can't control, that's more telling about you as a person than any baby crying is.
>>7603390
I'm not bent out of shape, I didn't do anything about it besides make this thread.
>>7603373
If you go to a family restaurant you deserve everything you don't pay for.
Different story if it were silver service, but I do t want to sound rude here but none of us are convinced you frequent silver service restaurants.
So you're here making a thread about a single mothers baby crying at McDonald's.
This is a ordinary thread OP, real fucking ordinary
>>7603403
>i'm perfectly normal, i just passively aggressively start threads on an anonymous image board about the little things that bother me and I can't bring myself to do anything about
If they're three years old or more, I take a receipt out of my wallet, make a paper crane, and then place it in the child's hand, warning them that "they'll scare the birdie".
If they're eight or older, I make a set of origami dinosaurs and leave them on the table next to them without comment.
I always get a thank-you from the parents and at least thirty minutes of blissful silence.
I don't know about actual babies, though. Oh well.
>>7603338
I would be pissed off but I wouldn't lash out at a kid like some retard
I wouldn't want some stranger shushing my child
If you have a problem then politely ask the parents to keep their child quiet
>>7603410
I'm not normal, but I'm not bent out of shape either. How is making a thread passive aggressive? It has no impact on the baby in question or its parents.
>>7603338
I start screeching in harmony. Inevitably a 3rd, 4th and 5th person joins in as everyone whips out their phones in awe. Stir up a media frenzy which leads to a multi-million dollar recording studio contract. Works every time.
>>7603338
Little babbeh :3
>>7603471
Keep your legs shut.
It's a baby. Babies do stupid inexplicable shit because they're fucking babies. I'd idly wonder why the parents would be dumb enough to drag an infant out in public when it isn't ready for it, but why the fuck would I get mad at a baby?
>>7603420
Children will act up in restaurants it is normal with my daughter I make silence into a game and play 10 minutes 1 sticker
>>7603486
I really need to ask my mom what they did to my brother and I, because we ate out half the week growing up and as far back as I can remember it always just seemed natural to not act up in a restaurant and have table manners.
Apparently I was a screaming toddler who threw spaghetti-o's everywhere; I just have no memory of how things changed.
>>7603486
Bribery is not the answer
>>7603500
You were raised by an at-least middle class WHITE family.
That's what they did.
I once dropped my friend's baby. But in my defense, I had never been a pall bearer before.
i call them all niggers and leave
>>7603502
That's actually spot on, but how does it explain the behavior of a small child? Being upper middle class doesn't mean growing up with primp and proper adults around you.
>>7603520
Gee, how did I ever make such an accurate guess?
Dude, our families were upper-middle because they were raised not to put up with shit and they passed that on to you.
I can only remember one time I was being a little dick at a restaurant (and it was a big family dinner, like grandma grandpa aunt uncle cousins) and my dad told me to come with him outside.
As soon as we got out the door he wholloped my ass so hard. Needless to say I behaved the rest of the dinner. But, he was also tactful enough to take me outside to do it not in front of everyone. You see nigger mom's whack their kids all the time.
>>7603536
>he wholloped my ass so hard
Nothing like that ever happened with me, though. As far back as I can remember it just always seemed natural to act a certain way in a restaurant.
>>7603505
unexpected kek
>>7603557
Oh no, it was the natural and right thing to do with my family as well. I emphasized in my story, it was the ONLY time I ever acted out in public.
The only other time I know of, I was out with my Grandma and Grandpa, and I was in my highchair (so you know how young) and I was apparently laughing my ass off at something.
This guy finished his meal with his wife, and as they left, he went to our table and told my Grandpa that he should have made me "behave and be quiet." All I ever was told was he followed that guy outside.
>>7603416
Are you some kind of elf that learned chinese papercrafts
>>7603569
>Oragami
>"chinese papercrafts"
You are so cultured anon.
The problem is that millenials are having kids now, and most of them have no idea of what it takes to be a responsible parent, so they let their children run amok in public.
>>7603569
Haha, no, it's really easy! I just like being able to do things during lectures, and having my hands and a bit of my mind busy makes me more tolerant of stupid questions my classmates ask.
There are a lot of youtube tutorials that will show you how to make origami without you having to depend on written instructions. Those diagrams can be kind of complicated for people just beginning the hobby.
I suggest starting with cranes, because the early steps are useful for making a lot of things that are not cranes.
>>7603572
And don't be rude. I think that I get away with this because the adults are too confused by what's happening to object to it.
I've learned to only give out dinosaurs in multiples because the parents tend to grab anything complicated. Having someone steal your new toy doesn't actually help with the whole crying thing, so the whole "lol magic stranger" part has a downside.
>>7603416
This is cool but also super gay
>>7603732
Female, so it's somewhat less creepy.
I am essentially approaching strangers to hand their child a wad of creatively folded trash, though, so it sill is kinda creepy.
>>7603423
>being this passive aggressive
>>7603416
>child giggles at crane
>proceeds to cram it in mouth
>chokes
>receive lawsuit
>>7603804
It's never happened yet...
>>7603804
your day will come Mr. Schwartz
>>7603338
I ask to be moved, or to get my order to go. If it starts screaming and I haven't ordered yet, the temptation is just to walk out.
I don't go to 'family' restaurants for just that reason. Anywhere that welcomes families does not welcome me.
Luckily, there's a backlash against screaming kids lately, and pubs are kicking people out for it and banning kids.
>>7603338
man, you just know when parents let their shitty babies scream at restaurants that they're going to end up being loudmouth brats
teach your kids young to be considerate and quiet in other people's company.
I wish it was socially acceptable to discipline other people's babies.
I just scream at the baby until the family leaves or I get told to leave/the police called on me
I have a story of what i did that's semi related
>be watching BATMAN vs SUPERMAN by myself in theater opening night
>have been looking forward to this movie for a long while since I loved the previous superman
>single mother with halfbreed negroid spawn sitting next to me
>immediatedisgust.png
>i don't usually mind if mother calms her child or whatever during movie but this lady was having a full on conversation with her child
>this goes on for FORTY FIVE FUCKING MINUTES
>i look around to see if anyone else if noticing this conversation and realize I am the only one since im right next to them
>fuck this ive had enough i think
>i fucking snap and lean in to them really closely and say to the mother in a stern and strict angry voice "can you and your mongrel shut the fuck up for a second I can enjoy this god damn movie?"
>she stares at me with her mouth wide open and her child starts to cry
>she grabs her childs hand and walks out the theater as the kid is crying and I smile and eat popcorn and watch the movie
>movie ends and she's outside of the theater with a police officer and the theater manager
>I see them before they see me, and walk back into the theater and go lay under the handicap seat section as people are leaving
>it's dark still and no one can see me so I stay under seat for a while
>lights in theater turn on and I realize that I'm not hidden at all and realize that the police officer is walking up the stairs towards me
>he shines a flashlight on me and pulls his gun out and says "FREEZE GET THE FUCK UP!"
>i tell him that they have the wrong guy and I'm the seat repair man
>"look" I say "as I hand him a real estate card of a Korean guy
>he looks at me,, looks at the card, assumes I have a mental disorder, and says "get the fuck out of here"
close one
>>7603338
You are going to restaurant. Restaurants are usually fairly public places where there are other people.
Fucking deal or don't go out to dine at all.
>>7603912
not bad. not a classic but funny ok
>>7603407
***** post
>>7603338
Screech louder than the child to assert dominance
Take out your licensed concealed carry firearm and stand your ground.
>>7603338
I stage an "accidental" trip and fall but i really launch my body into the high chair so it knocks over and the baby's head hits the ground hard. The goal is to kill the baby.
If it's not in a high chair I just grab it and whip it into the wall
>>7603924
It's very commonplace in the case of adults that if you misbehave and cause enough noise at your table to disturb other diners, you'll be asked to leave. If you cannot control your children's noise levels, you should also be asked to leave. Just because you've popped out some little shit and you don't know how to tame it doesn't mean other paying customers should have their meal disturbed.
Make faces at it and giggle.
I find it hilarious when babies cry. They're like tiny inebriated people. That baby might be crying because the air conditioner is hitting them, or because one of their socks is too tight. IDK, I just laugh, because it's never really a problem, it's just their problem. Adults screech when people die or something awful happens, babies scream because they have to poop. It's just funny.
Babies are also feedback loops, and they just get more frustrated at others being frustrated. Funny faces and giggles confuse the baby, and will make it stop or get quieter if the initial reason for crying is small enough.
But most babies are fussy and bored, and parents should bring some small objects for the baby to play with. I remember the bored childhood struggle.
>>7604236
this is a good strategy. I too sometimes laugh when other people's babies cry in a public place. mostly it's because I'm sterile though.
to answer OP's question, I guess if I was already eating, I'd just eat fast, or ask for a box if I really couldn't stand it. if I hadn't started eating, I'd ask to be moved. I have done this once or twice.
>>7604236
this sounds too reasonable. what are you doing here? this place is for terrible people only.
>>7604192
This made me laugh way more than it should have.
Whipping a baby at a restaurant wall like a ripe melon in front of its parents should not be this funny
>>7603583
>oh, little rainbow pepsi star is so energetic. what do you mean he can't run around? I paid for the meal!
>3 years old and already knows what his body needs- candy and pizza.
>I don't nazi my child. stunts their natural creativity if I tell them to be quiet in public places.
>>7604236
>I find it hilarious when babies cry.
Literally a broken human being. Kill yourself.
Really if a baby is crying and won't stop, it's the parents responsibility to take it outside until it calms down. If the parents are oblivious to this, politely suggest it too them. If them won't take action, talk to a waitress about it. If the person running the place is anygood at all, they'll tell the parent to get their child under control or leave.
>>7604304
I also find it funny. Like the other anon said, babies aren't crying for a good reason, they're crying over nothing at all. And that's funny. But when a child is crying for a legit reason (in pain), it is immediately clear because that's a different, more intense cry than the 'I dropped my one chip on the floor cause I'm a spaz and now i'm gonna wail about it despite having half a dozen others in front of my dumb infant face' type cry.
Carefully adjust myself to subtly reveal my CCW and hope the parents freak out and leave the restaurant. Usually have to put up with a burst of the parents screeching, but they'll leave after a few minutes.
>>7604362
>brandishing a holstered firearm at a crying baby
What are you going to do? Shoot the baby? Shoot the parents? You're not going to do anything and letting someone get a glimpse of a holstered weapon won't make them feel threatened enough to leave. You're not the badass you think you are
>>7604395
Who said anything about threatening? Soccer moms go ballistic at the sight of guns and will freak the fuck out about someone carrying that isn't the boot on their neck.
>>7604362
I'll take "shit that's never happened" for $2,000, Alex.
>>7604362
Yeah this would never work unless you look and carry yourself like a deranged psycho
>>7604402
not that anon but I guess my question is why soccer moms are going to the kind of restaurant where you'd need CCW. you'd think they'd only bring their crotchgoblins to nice places.
>>7604523
Wouldn't the fact that you go to nice places be the reason you'd carry?
>>7603486
You sound like a woman, but you don't have a period.
As a busy Mom who can occasionally steal away for a quiet dinner with hubby, I have a little trick or "hack" I would like to share.
If we're in a restaurant and a baby starts to fuss (that's all the little ones are doing isn't it), I will look at hubby and roll my eyes a bit and say "remember when ours were that young?"
I remember reading somewhere.
>>7603338
depends, generally if im at some shitty place like red robins, applebees or tgi fridays for whatever fucking reason I deserve to put up with that shit for going to those places in the first place
if Im at a nice restaurant and some fuckers bring a small child when the place clearly makes it known that its not ok but they allow it and the fucker starts screaming usually everyone glares the table down and they get the hint
otherwise if they dont wise up I generally leave early and do dessert or get my food elsewhere if Im mid courses and tell the manager(this is in the case that the restaurant has a no child policy but they let it slide)
I usually loudly complain to the waiter about the unruly child and lazy parents asking what can be done. All it does is piss the parents off but they ruined my tight, I'm just sharing the love.
>>7603338
You're at a family restaurant. If you don't want crying babies, pay for it! Go upscale.
If you dont have money, learn to love the innocent cry of a baby. Much better than the guttural whine of a self-centered captain obvious.
Whos taking a baby to a restaurant?
If the place has high chairs it isn't a restaurant
>>7603407
This
>>7604740
This
I don't care if it's fucking mcdonald's, if I'm out in public I don't want to have to deal with any misbehaving children or their shitty parents. Assholes should just stay home.
>>7604740
And there it is.
When the manchild is called out on its immature habits, it shrieks out its magic word.
>>7603420
>itt ppl who have never had a family
when toddlers or babies act up there is very little you can do...............the parents are probably tired of it too, but have to let it pass
love the way autists think kids have an off switch and parents who dont press it are bad
>>7604908
there's this new fade called babysitters, have you heard of it? I have friends with kids, they leave those things at home when they're at a grownup place. or more often than not they just stay home.
if I had a phone without an off switch do you think I'd take it to the movies, or a concert? well of course you would, because you think the world revolves around you. but rest assured your opinions are not shared by decent people.
>>7604908
>wat is babysitter
Having a baby is not an excuse to subject other people to its noise polution or dirty nappies. If it starts crying you take it outside. It's your problem. Deal with it.
>>7604913
>family meal out
>baby sitters.....
>then brings up some false equivalence about phones, concerts and movies
>ppl who take their kids to restaurants (and then said kids act up) are not decent ppl
confirmed teen.........i hope
>>7604954
>confirmed teen
>implying it's normal to be burdened by a screaming toddler in your teens
Confirmed for trailer trash.
No worries, I wasn't talking about being bothered by people's babies at the local Perkins. If I went to a place like that I'd be prepared for the worst.
>>7603390
wew lad, how fucking zen of you.
>>7604896
>getting this triggered over cuck
What are you some sort of inconsiderate parent or something?
>>7604583
>busy Mom
>hubby
>hack in quotes
I'm glad I don't know you
Any decent parent won't bring their kids out in the first place until they are capable of handling there shit. Maybe like some garbage fast food place or a dennys, but anything past that no way.
I work in a theatre and people bring their fucking babies in all the time. I can't even be mad at the babies. No shit they would cry when we have DOLBY DIGITAL BLASTING FROM ALL WALLS. Like be a fucking decent human being and get a babysitter?
B-BUT I CANT AFFORD A BABYSITTER. THE GOVERNMENT DONT COVER DAT IN MY DINDU STAMPS!!!! Listen here you waste of human tartar sauce, chances are your friends are also garbage human beings who had bastard spawns. You switch days. So on friday when you guys want to go star on maury, they watch your kids and on saturday vice versa. It's really not that hard.
>>7604954
You shouldn't have family meals if you haven't actually raised a proper family. I bet you're the kind of person who thinks it's OK to walk your dog and let it shit in other people's yards. Fuck you, inconsiderate ass.
If I'm at a family restaurant I'll just deal with it, or ask to be moved to another table if it's really shrieking and the parents aren't trying to stop it.
If I made reservations and am paying out the ass for a nice restaurant though, you better believe I'll ask the parents to do something about it, and tell the manager that they're ruining my experience. If this makes me look like a bitch I don't care. You shouldn't bring a screaming child to an expensive formal restaurant.
The closest I've come to fighting a stranger was some dude at a nice restaurant. I (politely) asked him if there was anything they could do to control the screaming child (which was well past the point of "uncontrollable baby"), and he got in my face and started telling me about how "I have no right to say anything about his gaht dam chile". if he had done the shoulder shove it would have gotten violent, but his wife made him sit down before it got to that point.
I just don't know why people can't get a babysitter for a couple of hours. Is it that hard to realize that other people mind endless shrieking more than you do?
>>7605130
>I just don't know why people can't get a babysitter for a couple of hours. Is it that hard to realize that other people mind endless shrieking more than you do?
Because
1. "It takes a village", and
2. Something something the child will not learn to behave in an adult world unless everyone around it is constantly subjected to its shrieking and cloud of shit and piss smells
This kind of attitude seems exclusive to whites, btw. I guarantee you nobody on this board has ever had this experience with an asian couple and a screaming asian baby, despite 98% of all michelin-starred instagram photos coming from asians. The reason for this is respect.
>>7605164
Its pretty much exclusively blacks. White people tend to actually raise their kids. Do you live in a trailer park? I can't imagine a white family ever doing this so you're the anomaly here.
>>7605183
I can tell you've never been to a michelin-starred joint, the customers are mostly asian and white. Blacks are almost unheard of.
>>7603804
>child giggles at crane
>proceeds to cram it in mouth
hahaha why are babies so retarded
but on the other hand
>we introduce babies into a world where seemingly innocuous objects can kill us instantly and invisibly.
>>7603338
that picture is so cute.
Im going to hug by baby and kiss her on her cheeks. brb
>>7605187
I thought we were talking about crying children, not tire memes.
>>7605183
Thats fucking racist
>>7605212
Yeah, crying babies in nice restaurants. Not the east st. louis golden corral and your racial strife.
What poor people do in poor people restaurants is kind of irrelevant, I mean who gives a shit if the baby's diaper smells, considering the food itself already smells, looks, and tastes like excrement?
>>7605219
Sometimes I just want a quick meal after work and to relax. I don't expect total silence but I shouldn't have to deal with crying children at any restaurant. You've never had a taste for a burger or such-and-such just dropping a red Robin or ichiban? How autistic ace you that you make reservations for every night of the week?
>>7605329
Average weeknight, I'm eating at home. But to answer your question, no, I have never been to a red robin or "ichiban" whatever that is.
>>7605183
Nah, there are a lot of white soccer moms who will pull the OH HE'S JUST BEIN A KID DON'T GET MAD AT ME FOR NOT PRACTICING BASIC DISCIPLINE, IT'S FUNNY WHEN HE DOES IT
>>7603353
Lmao
>>7604896
pretty much all porn is cuck porn in so far as the viewer is defacto not engaging in it, whether some old white dude is in the corner doesn't really change the consumer's dynamic at all imo
>>7605980
>watching anything other than homemade pov
>>7606032
>implying I can get laid
>>7603371
>Walk past crying baby
>Shit my pants
>"nothin personnel, kid"
>>7605108
many theaters do showings specifically for people with babies now, there's no excuse to drag them with you to a regular showing anymore.
>>7603572
>making fun of someone for doing something stupid
>spelling origami incorrectly while doing so
I only eat at restaurants highly rated on yelp which means that they're mostly filled with hipsters and/or college students, and that there are no people over the age of 30 there so I almost never see kids in restaurants.
I will say however, that seeing people with kids in restaurants makes me so fucking depressed because the parents always look MISERABLE AS FUCK.
Extended family keep making comments to me at family gatherings about how I'll get to "enjoy" getting married and having kids with my gf too one day, but really the thought of a child makes me queasy. Just a massive money and time sink, and any chance I had of having my own life is basically over.
It's like I've had my kid so I've had my say in life, might as well just roll over and die now so that my progeny can tuck me into my grave and they can enjoy their 30 years before the cycle repeats itself.
Getting older fucking sucks.
How does anybody reconcile this?
>>7606519
>How does anybody reconcile this?
By not getting married and having kids. It's your life, tell the people who want you to ruin it to go fuck themselves. I've already made it clear to my mom that if she wants another baby in her life she can go adopt one.
>>7603338
Shit in my diaper to teach the kid a lesson.
Or politely ask the hostess to seat us away from any babies or little kids. Works well most times.
>>7606532
The worry is that I'll just die a lonely old hermit.
I barely have any friends besides my gf anyways, at least maybe a kid would care for me when i'm old, frail, and can't even remember my own name.
I guess that's why most people have kids anyways though.
>>7603416
Stay away from children
>>7606554
With all the money you'll save by not having a kid, you can afford to pay someone to take care of you. Personally, I'll just blow my own head off if I'm unfortunate enough to live long enough to need that kind of help.
>Be me
>Horrible gas runs in the family
>Baby across the table from us fussing and crying, but not really enough to make the parents do anything about it
>Calmly get up and act like I'm going to get a drink
>Silently crop dust baby
>3 seconds of sudden silence, then
>Baby starts full on wailing top of it lungs, everyone in the restaurant is looking now
>Mother thinks the baby shit it's diaper so she take it out to the car for a change
>Doesn't bring it back in till it stops fussing
That's what I do.
>>7606587
that definitely happened good sir
>>7605188
Babies are tiny confused people with limited motor control, soft useless limbs, limited knowledge of the world and have a propensity to use their mouths to investigate objects. When I think about that it excuses the crying a little bit.
>>7606689
fuck you, cunt
>>7603373
>a baby crying is annoying to you
Just think about how annoyed the baby is. I mean its fucking crying. As if it's not enough that an infant is suffering, you have to go along and act like you're the one who's having a bad time. Who's the real baby here?
>>7608398
>Just think about how annoyed the baby is.
That's the parent's job, not mine.
>>7608398
>shit self
>is hungry
>heard a noise too loud
>too cold
>doesn't like the food
Truly human suffering
>>7603338
i pick up the kid and use it as improvised weapon against the parents.
babies are very psychic like dogs
if a baby is crying in public, the baby is sensing that someone near it is going to die soon - like within 24 hours
it's just something that is, like the tides or the phases of the moon
get used to it
>>7603338
Nothing. Baby' s cry all the time. It' s natural.
>>7603781
not even the guy you are talking to but hy this logic isn't it impossible to bring up any topic.
Find a gooey piece of food and toss it at the kid's head when the parents aren't looking.
>>7608541
Toddlers are two-handed weapons.
>>7609391
You can use Exotic Weapon Proficiency to wield them one handed without penalty. Because they're little bastards.
>>7608585
So you'd be OK with it in any setting? A movie theater? A church?
>>7603368
underrated post
>>7604236
You sound like such a fucking creep
>>7609534
Projecting much?
I don't have this problem because the only restaurants I dine at have people who eat when the kid isn't there.
I've had to advise my sister and her husband several times that they can't bring their kid to a certain restaurant. This is why any self-respecting person avoids a place like Applebees.
Kids are the most obtrusive thing in the universe to a calm dining experience.
If the parents are trying to calm it down, I don't care.
But in theatres its annoying. Especially if it's a more adult movie considering kids shouldn't fucking be there. So I try to hit the kid/parent with popcorn kernels. It's fucking funny when they turn around like "The fuck was that?!"
>>7608575
You're a moron.
By that logic the mother should die immediately after birth, every time.
>>7603416
holy shit you're brilliant. this will get you laid if you're out with a girl and you did this.
I just remember how bad I was as a kid and I suck it up.
>>7603416
>try this now
>be called a pedophile
>>7609629
This only happens if you're a guy, and not handsome
>>7603338
Infanticide.
>>7604908
fucking this
As a parent, you learn to filter out little kid babbling because otherwise you'd go insane. If my kid is making noises or something it's completely fine. And if the kid is crying...well, sometimes you take them outside, sometimes you just have to try to shush them or ignore it (if they're a little bit older)
>>7604914
>>7604913
I'm assuming neither of you have ever been in the situation where you and your spouse have wanted to go out to a nice restaurant for the past week, but your babysitter cancels and you can't find a new one at the last minute and you see the sheer disappointment and exhaustion in your wife's eyes
Also maybe I want my kid to get some different fucking experiences? Maybe I don't want to leave my kid with some overpriced highschool idiot once a week when we go out and actually give them some culture? Fuck off
>>7609912
Sounds like your life sucks dick m8, sure glad you had that kid.
When this happened to me a little while ago, I just went over to its table and asked the mother to shut it up.
She said it was just hungry, but could only breastfeed as she had no bottle. I told her to just do it. It's natural, that's what they're for. She hesitated but went ahead, and I returned to my table.
I have to admit that now it had stopped screaming, it was kind of cute as it happily suckled. Someone else a few tables over disagreed, however, and got up to call the mother a hussy and whore for feeding in public. Realizing I was partly responsible, I defended the mother by calling out that the lady was only jealous because she was a dried up old shrew whose breasts could have never matched the magnificence of those shapely orbs.
Suddenly everybody was against me, calling me a pervert and asking me what I was doing leering at a breastfeeding mother. The father got the manager and said I had been letching over his wife all night (this was untrue-- there had simply been a couple of moments at which I had made eye contact and smiled, as anyone would do in the presence of an attractive lady).
I wasn't the one with a screaming baby. I wasn't the one who started calling people names. Yet it was I who was made to leave the restaurant. The world is not just to those who attempt to solve problems. Next time I encounter a crying baby, I do not think I will get involved. I shall simply finish what I'm doing as quickly as I can and leave.
>>7610018
Your mistake was being soft and allowing her to breastfeed. You should have joined in the calling her a hussy and a whore.
It's clear you are a man. Men do not get anywhere in life by being nice. If you are nice, you are creepy, you are a molester, you are a rapist. Just be a jerk. It's what people expect.
>>7610018
>>7603338
I don't encounter children because as an adult between the ages of 18 and 40 I tend to eat out after 9pm.
>>7604695
There's eateries, diners, and restaurants
I don't mind babies, but the girl I'm currently dating gets absolutely furious and starts ranting loudly about how parents should leave their kids at home. Frankly it's kind of embarrassing to be in public with a girl like this.
>>7610163
What places does she do that at? I'm just curious.
>>7610172
>What places does she do that at?
Anywhere we eat. So far a Mexican place, an Italian place, and a Vietnamese place. The Italian place was semi-upscale, but the other two were barely above a family restaurant.
>>7610186
When my exgf would start acting like a bitch to strangers in public, I just as loudly called her out on it and that always shut her up really fast.
Why any guy would put up with this without saying anything is beyond me.
>>7610231
>Why any guy would put up with this without saying anything is beyond me
blowjobs anon, blowjobs
I always sit in the lounge, so I don't have to worry about that.
>>7610239
Side bitch, anon. Side bitch.
>>7610309
What happens if she starts acting like a bitch to strangers in public?
>>7610309
Nigga, do you know hard it is to get one fucking girl to sleep with me? Now you want me to go out and get two? Nigga you crazy.
>>7603338
I'd realize I'm at the Cracker Barrel and enjoy my surroundings.
I become triggered and fart on the child. All other answers are haram.
>>7610314
Cut her brake lines
>>7603373
>>7610320
Ayo watchoo talkin bout fool you got that shit. Go get them bitchez nigguh.
>>7609602
It does make me a hit with waitresses and impresses my friends for the first two weeks they know me.
After that, though, the fact that I compulsively make piles of various reptiles, birds, and flowers if I have access to paper gets old.
"I have 50 cranes the size of my pinkie nail on my coffee table, anon. I know it was you, what do I do with them?!"
After a while people just sort of ignore it, the way a crazy cat lady ignores cat hair after a while.
>>7609629
Thankfully, I am female and fairly average looking, so I'm fine.
>>7609739
Yep. It's a pity, though.
>>7603410
Wut
That's what almost half of every thread on this board is, have you not seen any shitty roomate/awful cooking practice threads?
All the racist shit on /pol/ stems from exactly this
...Where do you think you are man?
>>7603338
I live in yuroop and don't go to halal restaurants so there's no children
Bitch about it on a tibetan basket weaving forum
Here's what parents are supposed to do:
>teach their kids to appreciate different foods from a young age
>not bring children except for quiet babies and well-behaved kids to sit-down restaurants
>make going to a nice restaurant a reward for kids which they look forward to
>not bluff about punishment, if they misbehave they leave
>>7610601
That's no punishment. A lot of the time they misbehave because they want to leave.
>>7610603
The point is to raise children who look forward to a grown-up meal at a restaurant, and not to start taking them to restaurants until they can understand that.
>>7610071
You're right, anon. He sounds like a real nice guy.
>>7603344
>i am above the basic human instinct of being disturbed by crying babies
>>7606519
This.
I can't bring myself to even complain to the person I'm eating with about a crying infant because the parents just look so defeated
Never listen to anyone who tries convincing you to start a family, if you don't want to you don't want to, having someone convince you would be considering it for all the wrong reasons
>>7603352
So you fucked off like the beta bitch that you are.
>tipped
lmfao fucking faggot
>>7612338
Not that anon, but do you really think that bitching at a parent will help?
They've either tried everything, failed, and are currently embracing the void, or they're pieces of shit who think Precious Angel Devlin can make whatever glorious music he pleases and can't be reasoned with.
I tell my wife to keep her son quiet.
>>7603338
Depends
Usually just complain to the wait staff
I get a lot of you are real mature and choose to ignore it, that's great, I'm not however.
Having a child doesn't entitle you to disrupt everyone's evening.
>>7603350
>>i don't become uncomfortable in the presence of a screetching baby,
>>you're the autist
no you are you fucking retard. Baby screetching is intensely uncomfortable, and it's fucking obvious why, the future of our species once relied on that feeling. The more uncomfortable and distressing, the more you'll do anything pacify the fucking thing.
>>7612643
Did you know that cats meow in a similar pitch to specifically gain human attention?
I've always found that interesting. "Here, this is totally your species's SOS signal. I'll use it to describe the complete emergency of a partially emptied food dish, or being petted with one hand instead of the two I am owed."
>>7603338
take pictures of the baby till the cops come
This little shit comes up to your table and spills your drink on your food. What do you do?
>>7604362
>I demand the right to carry MUH GUNS!! in public to defend myself against harm!
>flashes a firearm at a family with a child to intimidate them
Are you or are you not a sociopath?
>>7603338
I don't eat at places where they bring small children.
>>7613813
stand up and demand to know whose child this is
call the server and ask for a remake
>>7612643
>do anything pacify the fucking thing.
9 out of 10 this meant a safety issue or a need for food. which brings us ba/ck/ to this thread
I don't know, was I just a really easy kid growing up? I never made these kinds of scenes. But then again the second I started acting up one of my parents would just take me outside. I was never yelled at or physically punished (except when I did something that endangered my safety). I was pretty spoiled too, only child. Sometimes I wonder how much of a kid's personality really does just come down to the luck of genetics.
In a restaurant I would probably wait 10 minutes, and if I felt I was still going to be around for 30 minutes after I'd get up and quietly and politely ask our meals to be moved somewhere quieter. On an airplane it's a little different (no where to leave, babies and young children experience the pressure shift differently and also can't understand what's happening) but in public you always have the option to just haul your kid outside until they're done or tire themselves out.
>>7603338
I would talk to the manager and get a free meal
Taking care of my sisters kid made me appreciate that even though I have to endure some kids screeching, at least I'm not the one who has to look after it.
>>7603416
Writing that down.
Also learning origami now.
>>7603338
I have literally never encountered that situation.
I think you are making something up or over exaggerating a happening.
>>7614335
Do you not leave your house?
>go to dinner with my brother and his family
>be part of the party that has the screaming child
>miserable the entire evening because I'm so embarrassed and guilty over it
Sucks being on the other end too
>>7610071
Bottle-fed babies have weak immune systems and lactose intolerance. That's killing the dairy industry.
>>7610071
>allowing her to breastfeed
What the fuck is with Americans and being against breastfeeding in public? It's an essential part of being a mother and in most civilized parts of the world it's okay for a woman to do it when the baby requires it, even if in public.
>>7613813
Smack him upside the head and tell him 'no' firmly, then demand his parents pay for my meal.
I do not put up with bratty kids, or people messing with my food. An adult trying that would get punched, so the kid's getting off easy.
>>7613829
>can't imagine going outside unless heavily armed
Found your answer
>>7609912
>I'm assuming neither of you have ever been in the situation where you and your spouse have wanted to go out to a nice restaurant for the past week, but your babysitter cancels and you can't find a new one at the last minute and you see the sheer disappointment and exhaustion in your wife's eyes
Nigga it's not like she wasn't aware she was having a kid for the entirety of her pregnancy/child-rearing up to that canceled dinner date. She's a grown ass woman and she can get over it.
>Also maybe I want my kid to get some different fucking experiences? Maybe I don't want to leave my kid with some overpriced highschool idiot once a week when we go out and actually give them some culture?
Taking a snotnosed cryng kid to a restaurant isn't "culturing" them you asshole, it's just annoying other dinnerguests. Fuckin' Applebees doesn't have a weekly exhibit on 14th century monastery literature. Nobody told you to have a kid; the least you could do is not make it anyone else's problem until they're old enough to behave.
>>7612639
>Anon with stellar taste in webcomics confirmed.
>>7610018
>defended the mother by calling out that the lady was only jealous because she was a dried up old shrew whose breasts could have never matched the magnificence of those shapely orbs.
Poetry
>>7610018
>got up to call the mother a hussy and whore for feeding in public
Fucking burgerclaps. Why are they stuck 50 years behind the rest of the world?
>>7608575
Who the fuck let /x/ in?
>>7609598
>By that logic the mother should die immediately after birth, every time
But she does die, the lack of sleep and extra stress is hard on the body. She doesn't die all the way, just a little bit.
>>7603338
>implying I eat at restaurants with children in them
if you're in a place with unruly kids and the management isn't taking care of it, then stop going to places where poor people can afford to eat
>>7614869
>paying 300% the price for food 20% better
k
>>7614869
Or just eat out later. Not many toddlers eating much after 8pm.
>>7610018
You basically just told the old woman that you let the mom breastfeed because she has nice tits, you fucking imbecile.
>>7614945
forgot image
>>7603416
Now this is fedora level
>>7603338
It's the managers job to get the parents to shut the kid up or get them all out.
I'd flag a server first and ask if I can be moved away from them. If there're no tables available, I have two options:
A.) If I'm with a date, leave and go to a better restaurant
B.) If I'm with my friends, just don't tip
>>7603338
It depends, if the restaurant is small and main course has not yet been ordered, I'd ask for the check and leave. Otherwise, request to be reseated. If this is all impossible, I'd just carry on, but not with pleasure. I mostly eat in restaurants where this isn't an issue, though. It isn't so much a matter of expensive restaurants, but more of a certain type where children wouldn't often be seen.
>>7603502
Na man, first generation and actual Mexicans of low social standing grow up well behaved under threat of physical punishment and bodily harm. Good mexican parents do the same for school work and achievements.
>>7614992
>It's the managers job to get the parents to shut the kid up or get them all out
No, it actually isn't.
>>7614924
nice restaurants
>food 30x better than what I can make at home
>symphony of flavor and texture
>delightful atmosphere for conversation
>little to no poor people
>children may be seen there, but never heard
>effortless ordering, waiter happy to help you have a great dining experience
>no dishes, pablo will handle them
>more expensive than cooking at home
niggerpoor fast and fast-casual restaurants
>food is WORSE than what I can make at home
>food engineered to abuse your brain into wanting more
>full of obnoxious poor peoplewith no manners
>nigger children spitting watermelon seeds and twerking everywhere
>tedious ordering, "server" just wants to be loud and in-your-face to appear "fun"
>no dishes, I've been eating off of paper plates with plastic utensils the whole time.
>STILL more expensive than cooking at home
it unfortunate that you have no standards.
>>7615111
>implying there's isn't a large grayzone between these two
Why the hell is everyone so goddamn extreme on this website? It's either 100% A or 100% B, there's zero gray with any of you.
Like other people have said, just go later like the majority of your cohort; eating early is for families and the elderly.
Who the fuck would willingly go to a restaurant where small children are welcome unless you're actually a parent?
>>7615125
Many of them have very good food for good prices. Not everything has to be hoity toity fancypants.
>>7604276
Kids born in the 70s went any different as parents. Which generation do you think started the whole "won't somebody please think of the children" full swing?
>>7615124
do you want to be around 0 niggerchildren while you eat, or just a few niggerchildren?
>>7603505
Legendary! Thanks.
>>7603462
Oh hey Kanye West.
>>7615159
>niggerchildren
Lol racism is funny XDDD
>>7603416
lmao
>>7614338
I eat out at least once a month and have never been around "A CHILD WHO WILL NOT BE QUIET". I've seen kids fuss and parents handle it, I've even had my kid cry a bit until I solved whatever problem he had, but I've never encountered any disruption lasting loffer than 5 min. If my kid is starting to get to hard to control we finish our meal and take him out
>>7608585
>guy shits on my plate while i'm eating
>i make sure not to get upset because people shit all the time and it's natural
>>7613813
god i hate shitty little kids with food on their face
>>7603416
>I take a receipt out of my wallet
A receipt for a fifth of Jack Daniels, a 2L of Coke, and condoms. The parents unfold the crane and get offended at the thought of condoms.
>>7604192
>>7610596
>>7604253
>>7614596
enjoy that lawsuit
>>7603912
*cough* shit *cough*
>>7613829
It already is a right, he doesn't have to demand shit.
And you sound exactly like the kind of faggot who'd leave simply because he saw the gun too.
>>7616281
Yeah probably, especially around someone who sounds as trigger happy as you do. Gotta watch out for those dangerous five-year olds! Who knows what they're packing.
>>7616821
He said the hope is that the parents are in fact more aware than their five year old slack-jawed shitstain and will vacate after seeing the scary gun and deeming him a chillenz killing psycho, like you've already demonstrated. Work on that reading comprehension fuccboi.
>>7614992
Don't tip because the server has absolutely nothing to do with parents not taking care of their child?
Okay, asshole.
>>7616855
>vacate after seeing the scary gun
And what if they don't?
>>7616930
Then I guess it didn't work, dumbass.
Resort to either ignoring it, giving them a dirty look, or screaming at the top of your lungs and shooting the kid in the face. Whichever you deem the most socially acceptable given the situation.
>>7616981
Just give the baby a dirty look
>>7616930
Then scream MUH CONSTITUTION
I haven't run into this for a long time.
Some anon have mentioned it in this thread but screaming children bother me mostly at the theatre. The last few years I pretty much just go to Alamo Drafthouse to see movies for either the food or drinks but specifically for the no noise/phone/talking policy they have there. Never once have I heard a crying baby get pulled into a movie there and in some instances there's been a moron or two that was asked to leave for being too disruptive. I'm assuming this franchise is only in Texas. I've only seen it in Austin and San Antonio but I haven't noticed it anywhere else.
Anyone else find safe havens like this for experiences you don't want scrambled?
>>7603912
Why not just leave with everyone else like normal?
What are they going to do, arrest you?
For what?
>>7603338
I have a daughter so no, it doesn't annoy me. I just ignore it like an adult.
