Pizza Hut, Domino's, Papa John's. Fuck, marry, kill.
>>7540011
fuck papa johns
marry dominos
kill pizza hut
>>7540011
kill pizza hut
fuck donioes
marry papa johns
I'd fuck Pizza Hut, marry Domino's, and kill Papa John's.
>>7540011
Pizza hut sausage is fucking HORRIBLE. I don't know what they think that shit is.. but it IS NOT sausage.
The deep dish crust on the other hand.. is fucking GOAT.
For that reason I would kill dominos.. I would marry pizza hut.. but I would actually keep papa johsn as my side bitch when i need data sausage... you know what i'm sayin.
>>7540050
>killing domino's
but why, that garlic sauce is like pure sex
>>7540011
Fuck Pizza Hut, their Pan Pizza and breadsticks are so greasy and heart disease-inducing but so good for rare guilty pleasure type shit, much like a one night stand with Princess Dust. It's awful for you, you know you'll regret it the day after but it goddamn is it nice in the moment.
Marry Domino's, their NY ("Brooklyn") style is still an insult to my home state but it's the closest I can get out here in Flyoverville, Minnesota. Literally everywhere out here serves nothing but Chicago-style shit or super thin cracker crust.
Kill Papa Johns, their pizza is dogshit and their founder is one of the biggest assholes on the face of the Earth.
Fuck Pizza Hut
Marry Papa John's
Kill Domino's
Obliterate OP for shit threads
Kill all 3 and buy from a local joint.
>>7540132
>tfw local joints are all worse than the chains
being in the midwest sucks sometimes
our local pizza joints seriously suck
>>7540011
Op has shit taste in takeout/delivery chain pizza joints.
Kill them all and marry round table pizza.
>>7540011
kill papa jonnie
fuk domina
mariej / pisa hot
>>7540373
I feel you. I moved out to Minnesota after spending most of my life in NY and other states on the East Coast. I was used to good pizza being readily available from any local pizzeria. Here? It's shit, shit and more shit; even the pizzerias the locals rave about are garbage. One of them, fucking... Gina Maria's I think; advertised a "New York Style Pizza", which of course I tried as soon as I saw that... It was not New York Style. I'm honestly a little reluctant to call it "pizza" at all; it was like a slab of hardtack with a super thick, brick hard crust, three or four times the amount of sauce that should ever be on a pizza, and a little sprinkling of cheese on top. Fourteen dollars for that shit.
There's apparently "A Slice of New York" in Minneapolis somewhere, and from their website it looks like actual NY-style pizza. That might be my only hope.
Also - Why the fuck does nobody out here in the midwest even know what garlic knots or mozzarella sticks are, let alone serve them anywhere? The only appetizer options are garlic bread or cheesy garlic bread. It's just not the same. And too many of the places I've tried; the "marinara" they offer for dipping has this like... smoked flavour added, I don't fucking get it. The "cuisine" out here is so bad.
Kill Papa John's three times. Can't stand their sickeningly sweet garbage pizza, it's like every pizza has a cup of sugar in it.
>>7540011
Kill PJ
Fuck PH
Marry Dominos
>>7540482
I agree that the pizza is horrible, but I don't know what you mean with the mozzarella sticks thing. They're widely known and eaten here(ohio)
The only places in the midwest that have good pizza are the citites, once you leave them(99% of the midwest) its shit tier for dayzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
>>7540011
kill pizza hut
eat dominos
trash papa johns
>>7540011
fuck pizza hut
kill Domino's
Marry Papa John's
>>7540513
Oh, yeah, I spent some time in Columbus - Ohio is close enough to the East Coast that you can find good food occasionally; if you go further west it just gets shittier and shittier.
>>7540021
/thread
Fuck Papa Johns
Marry Pizza Hut
Kill Dominos
It all depends on where you live.
Where I live, Pizza Hut is a little better than Papa Johns, and Dominos is just crap.
>>7540011
Well I don't know, I'd usually say marry pizza hut but their pizzas have been lumpy recently.
fuck pizza hut
marry papa johns
kill dominos
>>7540011
Fuck Dominos
Marry PH
Kill Peyton Manning
>>7540132
>pizza fedora
Fuck Pizza Hut, Marry domino's, kill Papa John.
Can I just kill myself instead?
this actually works on a metaphoric level.
fuck pizza hut, marry papa's, kill domino's.
>>7540040
After working at a Papa Johns franchise in the UK, totally agree with you.
Serious question: when did Domino's get, you know, not shitty?
I had them for the first time in years a few weeks back and they were actually pretty good. Remember the day when everything they sold was weird Frankenstein shit?
>>7540373
what the hell are you talking about? I've lived in Chicagoland my whole life, our local joints are damn better than most anywhere else that I've been to
>>7540482
Call me whatever you want for saying this, but Pizza Hut has a garlic knots pizza. It's the only one I know of out here.
As for mozzarella sticks, what do you mean? Everyone I know out here knows what mozzarella sticks are.
>>7542185
They made a big push to no longer be the worst like 6 years back.
I still only really care for their thin crust, but yeah they're no longer the Lunchables tier shit they were before.
>>7542219
I know, I was desperate enough to try it, they are sadly not really garlic knots so much as vaguely garlic-knot shaped greaseballs filled with cheese and excessive amounts of salt.
I've been living here near Minneapolis since January and I've checked pretty much every Italian joint within a 30 mile radius of me and none of them offer garlic knots or mozz sticks; most of them did not even know what garlic knots are when asked.
>>7542192
new chicagobrah here, and so far i can confirm.
from st. louis though and stl style pizza > all, sorry guys
>>7542269
This thread caught my eye, I'm from New York but I've had some tasty pizza in Minneapolis, it's not going to be NY style but you should give Lola a try. It's surprisingly good, sort of a fusion neapolitan style, probably would piss off a traditionalist but it is objectively good food.
For NY style pizza you will not find anything great anywhere in the state, the closest approximation is probably Broders' straight up cheese pizza, which is pretty decent given the alternatives. I don't even know if they advertise it, I certainly have never heard anyone mention it, I just tried it by chance and was surprised.
Also protip: if a local tells you a pizza joint is good, you can safely ignore them. Better yet just cross the place off your list of places to try. The locals do not know SHIT about good food.
Given that we're talking about mozz sticks and pizza hut, we might just have different preferences in pizza, but maybe you'll find this useful...
>>7542498
Oh, don't get me wrong, I can admit Pizza Hut is pretty bottom of the barrel, I eat there maybe two or three times a year and that's all I can stomach; and mozz sticks are only a once-in-a-while thing. I just grew up in NY and in other states on the East Coast where I have been fortunate enough to always have a handful of good, local pizzerias in town that make a NY style with a good crust and quality cheese. This is the furthest into the Midwest I've gone and it just... boggles my mind that the shit out here is what people consider "good". Maybe I'm just stuck up.
The closest thing to good pizza I've found around here was Tino's Pizzeria Cafe out in Minnetonka, they have pretty okay slices that are at least closer to NY style than anything else in this state; but everything else I've tried ends up being more like Chicago-style than anything else, super thick deep crust with an exorbitant amount of sauce and shitty cheese. At least they don't go full Chicago and put their shitty cheese -under- the sauce, I can give them credit for that.
>>7540011
kill all 3, go pick up some Little Caesar's
Fuck Pizza Hut
Marry Papa John's
Kill Domino's
Seriously Domino's is just so goddamn awful. Their sauce is so sweet it's basically tomato jelly. Nasty.
Papa bless
>>7542797
Yeah I know what you mean about the horrible cheese and fucked up crust and usually a mountain of third-rate toppings. Minnesotans (as with Midwesterns in general) do not really grasp the concept of "good quality ingredients". To them those are words you see on the Hormel can, or a bottle of Fruitopia, so I don't really know what characteristics they think are indicated by "good quality" but it certainly isn't anything an outsider would recognize as quality. So, needless to say, if they rave about a pizza you can be sure it's going to be a heap of random salty shit heaped on top of an oily, spongy crust.
But I'd give the Broders and Lola a try, you might be surprised.
>>7542839
I'll keep that in mind. Have you tried A Slice of NY in Minneapolis? It -seems- legit but I'm not sure if I want to shell out the money for parking just to try another third-rate attempt at imitation.
>>7540011
in that order, Papa Johns is the most vile hot garbage on the planet
Fuck dominoes, marry papa John's and kill pizza hut.
