>tell wife to pick up some carrots at the store
>she comes home
>look in grocery bag and find pic related
>immediately call her a faggot and asked if these carrots are a fucking meme
>she apologizes profusely and heads back to the store to get me real carrots
>t-thanks /ck/....
seriously though, what are these carrots?
>>7513131
Your wife is probably fucking some other man right now because she can't stand your woman like fits in the kitchen over colored carrots.
>this is bait
I'll bite. Those are carrots you faggot. Read some history.
>>7513131
Look like normal carrots to me.
Read a book you dumb nig
>>7513131
>troll thread
Aww, what a sweetie. She did good anon. Stop being a dick to her.
>>7513142
>>7513187
which history of carrots books do you guys recommend?
Carrots were originally purple, other colors were very rare genetic variations.
Dutch farmers started cross breeding the mutated carrots to make more orange ones, in honor of the royal family called "The House of Orange"
Now all the other colors of carrots are called "heirloom" and are sought out by millennial hipsters.
I can't understand why people of this generation desperately seek out what they view as "authenticity" and end up living like amish hobbits in 2016.
https://youtu.be/0_HGqPGp9iY
>>7513282
I can get them for the same price and they look nice.
>>7513294
Do they taste the same?
>>7513302
Yes.
>>7513306
Do the purple ones stain shit like beets?
>>7513302
The yellow ones are almost more stringy like celery, more bitter too.
>>7513302
No. They're not as sweet.
The juice of the red ones rubs off, too, and can probably stain if you let it.
>>7513317
Shit looks like parsnips.
Parsnips are repulsive.
>>7513282
This "everyone's a hipster but me!!!" meme really crumples my corduroy.
>>7513368
Shut up, there's absolutely no legitimate reason to be curious about things that aren't normal.
>>7513368
Hipster
Beat dat bitch. What a piece of shit woman.
>>7513529
Normal to normal people, fagass.
>>7513379
You sound fucking boring.
>immediately call her a faggot and asked if these carrots are a fucking meme
ok that's funny
>>7513563
>50% of shit my wife comes home with is wtf.
Like what?
>>7513566
I meant when she goes shopping.
>>7513566
Children, lube, condoms
>>7513312
I have yet to have it happen.
>>7513576
Yes. Like what?
>>7513871
Well she buys hair dye. Cereals we don't eat. I told her finally to stop buying plastic silverware.
Now she shuts up, does the dishes/laundry/chores.
I can't complain on a board of 90% virgins. I figured life out.
Whistle while your wife works.
>>7513924
Why don't you eat the cereals?
>>7513949
They are for my daughter.
>>7513962
Then why is that weird.
>>7513962
I like you
>>7513924
>Well she buys hair dye
Why is that weird? I thought most women like the change their hair color.
>>7513556
I like how nobody else has mentioned it. Like it's a completely normal thing to do for everyone else here.
>>7515068
it is.
>>7513131
People think off colored food means they're somehow better and will pay a higher price for them.
Sometimes I wonder if I'd be married if I'd been born with only half the brain I was cursed with. These people seem happier than me, and at the same time, absolutely goddamn frivolous.
>>7514069
He is probably that guy that posted about being water weighed and how he was angry that his "sister put up her hair and liked every minute of it"
And to this day no one knows what that nigger was so upset about.
>>7513924
>I can't complain on a board of 90% virgins
I'm not sure even /r9k/ has that many anymore. I guess not being the worst thing you can conceive of is the only thing which gives you pride, so you use it to project.
>>7515227
>le misunderstood genius autismo man
>>7515203
Not exactly, but many are willing to pay a premium for heirloom varieties in hopes they will be more flavorful than the supermarket defaults. In many cases they are, and a good indicator something might be an heirloom variety is that it looks different than what you're used to seeing in the supermarket.
>>7513282
All good
The reason why millennials seek out authenticity has a lot to do with the perception that we live in a hollow culture. The endless plasticization and assimilation of sub cultures by corporations makes people want to find something genuine to grab onto, even if it actually makes things more inconvenient like vinyl. Listening to a record is a much more intense experience than shuffle on your ipod at the gym because something is lost in not listening to whole albums in an undistracted manner.
But at the same time, I shit you not I saw one of these types pull out a fucking typewriter at a coffee shop
>>7515308
But... I'm a well understood, succesful genius autismo man.
Just lonely, 's all. Not much but work and alcohol going around, despite all accolades and pay grade.
>>7515257
That is some vintage pasta
>captcha: select all the (cuck)sheds
Multicultural carrots
>>7513379
I really feel sorry for you m8
Culturally enriched carrots. Also, Halal.
>>7513403
>Hipster
le sigh
“Hipster” is a term co-opted for use as a meaningless pejorative in order to vaguely call someone else’s authenticity into question and, by extension, claim authenticity for yourself.
It serves no conversational function and imparts no information, save for indicating the opinions and preferences of the speaker.
Meanwhile, a market myth has sprung up around the term, as well as a cultural bogeyman consisting of elusive white 20-somethings who wear certain clothes (but no one will agree on what), listen to certain music (no one can agree on this either), and act a certain way (you’ve probably sensed the pattern on your own).
You can’t define what “that kind of behavior or fashion or lifestyle” actually is, nor will you ever be able to. That’s because you don’t use “hipster” to describe an actual group of people, but to describe a fictional stereotype that is an outlet for literally anything that annoys you.
The twist, of course, is that if it weren’t for your own insecurities, nothing that a “hipster” could do or wear would ever affect you emotionally. But you are insecure about your own authenticity - “Do I wear what I wear because I want to? Do I listen to my music because I truly like it? I’m certainly not like those filthy hipsters!” - so you project those feelings.
Suffice it to say, no one self-identifies as a hipster; the term is always applied to an Other, to separate the authentic Us from the inauthentic, “ironic” Them.
>>7515257
Dude, that's like one of my favorites. I wish it was the same person.
>>7513131
>immediately call her a faggot
I have a wife and this isn't how normal interactions go. Also my wife would have called to confirm before bringing home this bullshit.
>>7515679
>Listening to a record is a much more intense experience than shuffle on your ipod at the gym because something is lost in not listening to whole albums in an undistracted manner.
Then turn off shuffle, go sit in your room and instead of exercising and listen to it from start to finish. Records are a bullshit format that only hipsters and nostalgia fags like mah warm tones is bullshit, use an equalizer if want mah warm.
Unless that was your millennial opinion on why millennials are such shit.
>>7513302
The yellow are awful. And the purple have a bit of a "dirt" taste to them,no matter where I get them. They also make my piss flourescent yellow literally everytime which means they have a shit ton of riboflavin so be careful not to eat too many. I never have that problem with orange carrots.
>>7513131
And.......you like dick in butt why?
>>7513282
>look this up
>find this http://www.todayifoundout.com/index.php/2010/04/carrots-used-to-be-purple-before-the-17th-century/
Now I know way more about carrots than I ever thought I needed to, anon, thanks.
>>7513282
"Heirloom carrots" cost the same as regular organic orange carrots here, and you can get them in either whole form, baby carrot form, or shredded carrot form. Why would I NOT buy carrots that have more nutritional value than regular GMO orange carrots when they are the same fucking price?
>>7517636
Massaging the prostate leads to a more intense orgasm.
>>7513317
Oh but the yellow ones are so sweet. Sweeter than orange carrots. The purple carrots are the most bitter, being as they are from the most distant lineage. Yellow carrots are bombass good.
>>7517643
Because they're weird. How is this so hard for people like you to understand?
>>7513924
I'd love to catch up to you in another 10-15 years and see how that stupidity worked out for you. I mean, you're already a laughing stock, and you wife is either psychologically damaged OR a trailer trash piece of shit to be in a relationship like that. God speed and good luck growing old while thinking you had everything figured out.
>>7517650
Oh look, another american idiot, how surprising.....
>>7513312
If you cook them yes if you eat a ton raw yes.
I'll steam and ice shock them for cold plates you can use The water they shocked in for natural dyes.
>>7513924
That's pretty sad bro. You have to be a shit stain for your wife to do things for you. Good luck with your marriage lol
>>7517650
Weird is good, Anon. It's not the 1950's anymore.
What's wrong with it? I'm sure your wife's son would enjoy a little colour in his veggies.
>>7516840
>this isn't how normal interactions go
well, those aren't what normal carrots look like, so she clearly wasn't interested in normalcy.
>>7517626
The following is just a wikipedia article, but it seems to suggest that you can't eat enough riboflavin to do any damage to yourself.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Riboflavin#Toxicity
>>7513325
>pic related
>>7513924
Your wife is probably fucking everyone you know in your bed when you're not home.
