did anyone else get one of these free chipotle coupons? are you going to redeem them? would you?
>>7407496
I got the free offer and went to Chipotle for the first time. I got a bowl with half chicken and half steak. The food and the experience were, in a word, laughable. I won't be going back, even if it's free
>>7407501
People often laugh at you behind your back.
>>7407508
I'm sorry you're butthurt because i don't like your favorite restaurant, but surely you can do better than that
i had a weird dream last night about chipotle. i was in my local chipotle in line at night, and i realize they've added another cold/hot table to serve customers, there's now two lines and three registers. there's also an actual fucking piano and string section and a maestro conducting live classical music jammed into the corner of this tiny restaurant. i wait in line and don't recall ordering or anything, i finally get to the registers and i realize i don't know which one has my food. confused, i turn around and the college kid with a messy unkempt beard wearing thick hipster frame glasses notices my confusion and says "you gotta find it, bro." i turn around to face the registers and i'm confused as shit just asking the general area "where's my barbacoa bowl?" as all employees are ringing out other customers, there's a lot of noise in the kitchen, chatter from the lines, and the fucking mini concerto drowning my voice out, i just snap and start screaming "WHERE THE FUCK IS MY BARBACOA BOOOOWWL?"
it was at that moment i realized the giant farce they've created here, making only slight updates to their store to improve their image, making themselves look busier, and adding ridiculous slight changes to the atmosphere; all funds which i think could have been better spent on food safety, i realize nobody else is realizing what i'm realizing or if they do they don't care. these people will come to chipotle even if there is actual shit in their food. i jumped the counter and start breaking shit, swiping things off counter tops, knocking tables over by jumping and kicking them over, and for the final act of autistic rage, i jump on the middle register (i'm already in my underwear at this point for some reason) and take a big messy shit on it. i ran away from a screaming crowd of enraged hipsters out the back door, naked with shit dripping down both legs.
that was then i woke up to find this free chipotle coupon in my mailbox. i swear every word of this is true.
