Can we get a roomie thread going on? I love reading them.
>be me last week
>roomie and I take turns in dishes every week
>it's his turn to do dishes
>tells me he'll start using only one or two plates per week and asks me to do the same
>say I'll try my best
>he surprisingly dishes his plate and glass every day despite being the laziest bum I've ever known
>very little dish to do at the end of the week for him because I ate well at uni every day
>he's happy, I'm happy
>fast-forward to this day after a grueling week
>my turn
>realize there's a metric fuckton of his plates and glasses in the sink
>ask what happened to using only a couple of plates
>"You didn't want to use one plate per week, so I thought you're okay with me using several plates"
>wat
>last week he used 1 or 2 plates, I used 2 or 3
>tell him I did as little dish as possible and in return I get this
>"I thought you wouldn't mind"
>mfw
Even more pissed because he has done fucking nothing this week. Went to uni for 2 hours one day and spent the rest of the week at our apartment, playing games and watching anime.
I'll post some more soon.
Roommate threads are honestly more cancerous than picky eater threads.
>>7297472
So? You act like they haven't always been here. Did you see a le epic screencap of the dessert ramen on le reddit and come here with expectations of wit and hilarity? Poor baby.
>>7297439
>leaving your dirty dishes in the sink to fester for a whole goddamn week before cleaning them
What the fuck. I'm a neckbeard and even I think that's fucked. What's wrong with you m8?
The only issue I have with my roommates is that they don't clean their cat shitbox often enough and it starts stinking up the whole place sometimes. Otherwise we do dishes fairly well and the floors etc. get cleaned often enough.
>>7299461
It's actually the best way. Once you start you'll start to wonder why you ever did it daily.
There's no rotting involved. You rinse everything after use, and reuse some dirty items after a quick wipedown with detergent.
>>7299487
>It's actually the best way
Takes like 20 seconds to wash a plate right after meal. You have to be retarded to let that shit mold up in the sink for a week before washing up.
>>7299490
As I already stated, that doesn't happen.
>not just washing your own dishes right after you finish eating
how is it possible to be this lazy
>>7299487
I'm pretty anal about having dirty dishes in the sink. My room is normally a complete mess which doesn't really bother me but any mess in the kitchen russles the shit out of my jimmys
>>7299499
This seems like the easiest solution desu
>not using paper plates
>>7299502
>pile dirty dishes in the sink for a week
>on Sunday through in 20 packs of Jello
>add hot water to sink
>let jello set
You now have a solid jello brick encasing all your dirty dishes. Lift the whole thing from the sink, take it into the yard and bury it.
Dishes are done and you can go down to the goodwill store and buy some new ones.
>>7299573
How old are you?
>>7299576
>saw
Between 10 and 16.
But it was a decent joke
>>7297439
>>roomie and I take turns in dishes every week
Why? That is an absolutely unnecessary source of conflict. Just clean up after yourself so you won't have to clean more than you use.
>>7299898
>Just clean up after yourself
you realise there would be no problem at all if they did this?
you're kinda missing the point
FRESH
>snowpocalypse rolling in, currently a foot of snow outside and still going
>stayed up late with housemates drinking and shooting the shit until 2 AM
>go to bed, except shitforbrains alkie asian housemate (I've posted about him before)
>he stays up drinking by himself
>7 AM
>suddenly smoke alarms blaring and smell of death
>hungover, panic, can't find glasses, blind, spend three minutes groping for clothing
>go downstairs, alarms full blast, smoke filled house
>oven is on, turn off and open it, pan full of the blackest chicken ever seen, straight out of the fucking sun charred ass shrunken chicken legs
>throw entire pan outside in the snow, open doors and windows...in a blizzard, yes
>intolerable smell
>bottle of sriracha on counter, sriracha spills everywhere, smells like he dumped a ton of it on the chicken as some sort of marinade and put it in oven
>yelling, other housemate silences the alarm, I go looking for fuckface reckoning he can't be far
>he is passed out in his gaming chair, somehow slept through this
>go in and whack him in the head, he wakes up with the stupidest look like a retarded puppy wondering why you're mad he shat all over the carpet
>he doesn't get up, just crawls over to his bed and passes back out
>four hours later, windows still open, smell is through entire house
>giving me a terrible headache
>no amount of febreeze and candles can fix this
>have to choose between heat or trying to get smell out
>snowed into house for weekend
>considering cooking tea in slowcooker just to fragrance the place
>I can't even describe how bad the smell is
>I went for an hour walk just to get away for a while
>>7299909
>whack him in the head
Hey mate, he just made a mistake
>>7299909
Also, we have plastic wrap on all but two windows. I have those open but it isn't helping. When I came back I could smell it before I even got to the porch.
Bonus:
>last night he did that "I'm not touching you" thing where he had his finger really close to my boobs but not technically touching me
>tolerate it for a minute, he still isn't stopping
>told him calmly to get away from me
>"hurr I'm not touching you, not touching youuuu"
>tell him matter of factly I will kick him in the nuts if he does not remove his hand
>he doesn't remove his hand
>I lovetap his junk with my shoe
>he cradles his nuts the rest of the night
I don't know what he expected to happen.
>>7299928
Thing is this is about the seventh time he's burned food trying to cook while drunk and instead passed out, leaving me to clean up his mess. Once or twice, okay, but at this point? And I more did it to see if he was still alive. He's given himself alcohol poisoning before.
>>7299938
Ah ok, fair enough then.
>>7299573
>>7299933
Have you ever considered the possibility that he likes getting punched in the nut?
>>7299933
You should either kick him or move.
>>7299909
>living with asian """people"""
Only japs are tolerable
>>7299962
Chinks are the worst, but there all pretty bad
>Source: I'm a black guy lel
>>7299983
The only reason I tolerate slant eyes is because they hate spear chuckers so much.
>>7299983
You're even worse. You're barely human.
>>7299983
Agreed, its only cause they keep our unis alive.
Blacks are ok, africans and ghetto dwellers are a different story
>>7299933
real talk sacktaps hurt more than full on hits
He's kind of in the right OP, or rather, neither of you are in the wrong. But I'm more inclined to side with him since he didn't complain online. Bearing in mind that it's 100% likely you are recounting the story in your favour, what happened was that you broke the rule first and thought your job excused you, even though you didn't tell him that.
>>7299499
I do this without fail when I'm eating in the kitchen, but when I eat in my bedroom I can't be bothered to go downstairs. As for the pots and pans, the stains are often already dried on by the time you've eaten, requiring at least a brief soak, meaning to have to wait in there or as I said before, go elsewhere and come back. Pretty hard work.
>>7299493
It's not about rotting or mold, food fucking dries on like cement and makes it ten times harder to get off. You're just making more work for yourself.
Every day the kitchen was like this
>>7300066
>You're just making more work for yourself.
you don't understand
that's not my problem
it's a problem for later me
>>7300069
Close up of the electric grill
>>7300077
I-is that a Le Creuset plate being used for a crumb catcher?
>>7300022
No, I mean move out of that flat.
Or kick the guy out. Seriously, I couldn't live with someone who harasses me sexually.
>>7300069
That's actually a nice kitchen. Tell your roomm8s to get their shit together. It will be worth it.
>>7299482
sup joel
>>7300058
soak the pots while you eat
it's not that hard.
>Bake something
>Put onto counter to cool
>Fuck off into my room to shitpost
>Roomies come home and help themselves
>Tell them to ask me next time and tell them they can't have anymore
>Rinse and repeat
How do I actually make them stop?
>>7300318
Stop leaving your food out. If they ever ask for anything again tell them no, they had their chance.
>>7300318
Cook their pets and leave it out on the counter for them to eat
Our kitchen was a fucking mess all the time but we weren't sensitive so we got along fine
>>7300318
arsenic
>>7300318
Give them The Yelper Special
>>7297439
>roommate is my landlord
>overly clean while I am just average (I mean i make mistakes)
>Always bitches at me if I leave a spec
>yet lately he's been leaving more and more shit on the stove full of half eaten food
>one day I cook something, leave a little grease on the stove (which might have been from me scooting over this pot of half eaten garbage
>gives me a rant about how I don't respect him
>Even though the pot clearly has been stinking up the house
I hate it here
I hate my roomates so much
>they never do their dishes until the sink is literally overflowing
>they can get it from empty to this point in 2-3 days
>just two of them
>me and the other roommate do ours right away so our stuff doesn't get lost in that black hole
the dishes are pretty bad, but the social dynamic has gotten a lot worse too
>black cunt started dating other roommate then broke up with him
>she immediatly gets new boyfriend and brings him around constantly
>he's too poor to move out
>after a few month he finally get a new girl friend
>black cunt's white beta breaks up with her
>she goes crying back to him and insists he breaks up with his new gf
>he refuses
>she starts crying constantly
>can hear it through my ceiling
>her and the fat bitch now refuse to talk to him
i mostly just chill in my room drinking, and going to my neighbors house to drink and play cardgames. I specifically make my food extra spicy or filled with visible red onions and mushrooms so they'll be too afraid to eat it.
only bright side
>fat bitch roommate gets depressed all the time and buys cake mixes and makes cakes
>usually take a piece or two when drunk as fuck at 3am
>she doesn't care because other roommate (the cuck) throws it out after 3-4 days before she scarf it all down so we don't get ants again
only depressing thing is despite all their degenerate behavior and inability to have stable lives i'm the only one single. Also the only one with any job prospects after we graduate, their majors are
>graphic design with a focus in shitty american-weeb art
>stage makeup
>museum studies
last one might be useful if she wasn't a hideous fatwhale SJW with selfproclaimed ADD [spoiler]and not an alcoholic white male like me[/spoiler]
My housemates and I have an agreement
I cook, they do the dishes
>Last monday, my one housemate wants to start cooking
>he's sick of doing the dishes every week
>"What's easy to make?"
>Pasta it is
>he does stuff like preparing the minced meat without putting in olive oil
>puts in garlic and onions after the meat is done
>puts pasta in water before water has started boiling
>forgets to turn on the hood above the furnace
i've never spent a week eating food this bad
or eating this much pasta.
>>7300069
>he thinks that's bad
the only thing there that's mine is the cutting board, and that's clean; I should start keeping it in my room again
>>7301201
forgot to mention
>that's after they did half the dishes
>roomm8s cook a lot but let pots and pans pile up
>wash them all for everybody every couple days because I'm occasionally a good person
>roommate washing dishes sometimes
>only washes what he personally used and lets the other pots rot there every fucking time
why do people do this
>>7297472
My roommate is a picky eater
>>7299487
best way if you're a filthy autist.
I genuinely mean autist too, regular fucking people don't do that retarded shit
>>7300058
>hard work
you rinse/wash/soak the pots as you plate and finish putting together your meal, then wash the dish and cutlery and rinse out any soaked pots.
It's only meaningful effort if you're an actual failure at life. No person with even a modicum of personal success acts that way.
>>7300318
Put laxatives or some shit in the next one.
>>7300318
Take it into your rom to cool, you doof.
>>7301285
This. What the fuck, this thread is the most autistic thing I've seen on ck for so long. It's just a bunch of people who can't understand the most basic social shit
>>7301285
doof spelled backward is food.
>>7299898
>>7299461
OP here.
Yes, I realize it's a bit silly. I usually do it in 2 smaller batches instead of one huge but I really didn't have the time this week. The dishes are of course rinsed with hot water after eating.
At first we did the dishes right after eating but it just stopped at some point. Might need to start doing that again.
As for the turns, there's really been no conflict so far, we get along most of the time. Expect some stories though.
>>7301321
>basic social shit
Don't make excuses, his roommates are fucking jerks. If someone tells you not to do something, you respect their wishes unless it's unreasonable or extremely inconvenient for you. Not stealing food is neither of those.
>"Ask me before you eat my food."
>"Okay."
>>7300040
I'm just pissed he expects he can produce this assload of dishes when it's not his turn and have me wash them all happily when just last week we both reduced on the amount of dishes.
Yes, I used one plate more than him last week, but this week he doubled my plates. His turn was over in 20 minutes, mine took an hour plus.
>>7297439
Holy shit it must be 2005 and your name drake bell
>>7300030
'No'
Sack taps are just the 5 minutes of throbbing nuts that follow the 5 stages of grief when ya boy's take s direct hit. That initial 30 seconds is literal hell
>move into new place several years ago
>it's abnormally clean
>next day it's a crisis zone
>want to cook food
>there's a volcano of filth encompassing literally every dish
>decide to just buy my own dishes, my own cookware, my own utensils, my own everything
>manage to avoid having the landlord constantly bitch at me every couple of days because not a single dish there is ever mine
I'll never understand these people. They sand the landlord is victimizing them, but they refuse to even try. It's actually kinda depressing to be around.
>>7299933
>last night he did that "I'm not touching you" thing where he had his finger really close to my boobs but not technically touching me
>tolerate it for a minute, he still isn't stopping
>told him calmly to get away from me
>"hurr I'm not touching you, not touching youuuu"
>tell him matter of factly I will kick him in the nuts if he does not remove his hand
Wut. How old are you both?
>>7299750
no, no joke, just sadness
>>7297439
>Roommate does all the dishes and cooks for me
>Offer to help but she's like "You don't clean it properly and i've found stuff stuck to it"
>Okay
Feels good.
>>7299933
r u qt
>>7300318
laxatives or literal shit baked into it
>>7299933
London?
>>7297532
>So?
hello third grade
>people taking pictures of dishes instead of doing something about it
cool
>>7302727
come wash them for me then
>>7302512
>nobody should have anything I don't like
That was your argument from the start. You're no better.
>>7297532
>So? You act like they haven't always been here.
They haven't.
>>7303080
That wasn't me.
>>7301423
Yeah, but you're an idiot if you do it multiple times in a row. They officially don't give a fuck that you've asked them not to eat it.
Fool me once..
My old roommate had an eating disorder. He would only eat McDonalds hamburgers. He would spend all week cutting coupons and buy about 40 burgers a week and freeze them. No toppings just bread and meat. I once talked him into eating 1 single french fry and he spent an hour vomiting in the toilet.
I imagine he's probably dead now.
>>7301927
Mid twenties.
>next day
>he wakes up that afternoon
>tell him what he did regarding burning the chicken and stinking up the whole house, setting off the alarms
>says I'm lying
>he says this whenever I tell him anything, despite my never having lied
>point to the burned pan of chicken outside now covered in snow
>he used my pan for this, by the way, gratefully with foil lining so it might be okay
>both other housemates back me up
>still trying to deny it
>he wants to order food
>I tell him there's a foot of snow outside and no one is delivering
>he doesn't believe me
>he calls them
>lo and behold they're closed
>burned chicken in pan still outside covered in five inches of snow
>says he'll get to it in a day or two
>>7303380
How does this happen? How do these people subsist?
I have two nephews, one with assburgers and one with meme-dhd. They're both picky eaters. Eat buttered noodles (butter on plain noodles/pasta), hot dogs, chips/doritos, "juice" like hawaiian punch or gatorade, mac'n'cheese, and french fries. That's it. Their mom has to bring food with them when she takes them anywhere. One is in high school, the other is 11.
I don't really know how they aren't dead from vitamin deficiency by now.
>>7297439
Why the hell are you two taking turns doing dishes and not just washing your own plates? Seriously, washing a plate after you eat takes 30 seconds, at the most. Letting them pile up so you have a shit ton is just dumb
>>7299933
>last night he did that "I'm not touching you" thing where he had his finger really close to my boobs but not technically touching me
>>7299938
>he's done this 7 times now
>>7303402
>>says I'm lying
>>he says this whenever I tell him anything, despite my never having lied
>>point to the burned pan of chicken outside now covered in snow
>>he used my pan for this, by the way, gratefully with foil lining so it might be okay
>>both other housemates back me up
>>still trying to deny it
Why have you guys not kicked him out, he sounds fucking insufferable
>>7301423
>roommates eat your freshly made food before you've had any multiple fucking times even when asked not to
>retard still doesn't think to take it to his room to cool
>>7301244
>only washes what he personally used and lets the other pots rot there every fucking time
That's how it should be. Clean up after yourself, don't expect others to clean your fucking mess
>>7302168
>London?
everytime a grill posts someone posts this
why?
>>7303456
>>7303456
Memes.
>>7303432
>Why have you guys not kicked him out, he sounds fucking insufferable
1. Wait until he's passed out.
2. Strip him down to his pants.
3. Throw him out into the snow.
Problem solved.
>>7303474
>he somehow stays passed out
>gets hypothermia
Great prank anon
>>7303479
Prank?
>Gets hypothermia
>Dies
Problem.
Solved.
>>7303491
Well if that's the end goal then do it
>>7303497
And the landlord knows about him almost burning the place down 7 times?
>>7297439
Basic roomie's diet
>Ravioli with cream and powdered mooshrooms
>He eats from the pot
Aaaand that's pretty much it.
>>7297439
>tfw have a dishwasher
>tfw dishes never pile up
feels fucking good man
>>7301399
>finish eating
>wait a bit if too stuffed
>scrub plate off with a little dish soap,water
>dry it, put it back
ya'll are some autistic motherfuckers
>>7301423
Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.
Its the same reason people lock their houses, cars and hide anything of worth.
>>7303421
>wanting to clean with a full stomach after having just eaten
Nah dude, nah...
>>7303803
So much this.
>>7304727
dishwashers are overrated
in the time it takes to rinse, load, unload, wash all the stuff that isn't ok to go in the dishwasher .. i'm long finished washing the dishes in the sink
they're also a terrible use of resources ... if you run full loads you have to have a million extra dishes or else you run out
annoying
mods please prune this crap
>>7303803
dishwashers suck at actual cleaning
Too many of you indigent slackers have been buying back-of-the-truck / parking-lot-sale dishwashers.
I don't rinse anything of my plates or other dishes and 100% of everything comes out spic and span.
Next time spend a few extra dollars on a decent dishwasher.
>>7301187
> roommate wants to try cooking
> makes a few understandable mistakes
> "I HAVE NEVER EATEN FOOD THIS BAD"
sounds like you're the shithead
>>7303473
It's from /fit/.
An old tripfag who was a ripped midget monkey lookaliek called Tinytrip posted in a thread "Please be in London" after seeing an ass being posted because London was his home city.
Little did he know at the time, the fantastic as was a mans which left him very embarrassed.
That day on everyone on /fit/ would post "LONDON or Please be in London" in response to all asses which then was just applied to all females in general over time.
Tinytrip has now left /fit/ many years ago due to being harassed and insulted so much over his height, dead parents, monkey like appearance and him wishing mens asses were in his city.
Hope that helps.
>>7303473
For you
>>7303456
At risk of being baited, I don't really care. Some trap posted his ass on /fit/ and a trip there said "pls be in London" and then the trap posted a picture of his cock and it's been a meme since
>>7304754
>>7304802
What this guy said
>>7304829
Rinsing your dishes is pointless and actually uses more water than an entire dishwasher cycle. If things don't come out clean, you have either massively overloaded the machine or you have a cheap, ancient model.
If you don't dirty enough dishes to regularly run full loads, why are you on a cooking board?
>>7299928
Good people don't make mistakes like that.
>be me last week
>stayed up late with housemates drinking and shooting the shit until 2 AM
>told him calmly to get away from me
>Roomies come home and help themselves
>one day I cook something, leave a little grease on the stove (which might have been from me scooting over this pot of half eaten garbage
>black cunt started dating other roommate then broke up with him
>puts pasta in water before water has started boiling
>only washes what he personally used and lets the other pots rot there every fucking time
>manage to avoid having the landlord constantly bitch at me every couple of days because not a single dish there is ever mine
>tell him matter of factly I will kick him in the nuts if he does not remove his hand
>both other housemates back me up
>He eats from the pot
>dry it, put it back
> "I HAVE NEVER EATEN FOOD THIS BAD"
>>7303803
>live alone
>have dishwasher
>have like 2 plates, 2 bowls, 1 cup, and 1 glass i use
>never use dishwasher because i can never accumulate enough dishes
>>7297439
> Live with fat fuckboy and his fat lazy girlfriend
> He covers the kitchen counterspace with bullshit all the time, making it near impossible to prep without moving his stuff out of the way, mostly bartending ware that he never actually uses and literal garbage
> He only cooks food that requires no/minimal prep so he doesn't know what a cancer he's created
> Come home one day, want to cook for my GF
> Every single stovetop element has a messy pot or pan on it
> Oven has a dirty pan in it
> Crock pot is out with potatoes that he made five days ago still in it
> Fucking have to clean the kitchen with my girlfriend before I can cook anything
> Stench emerging from the crock pot nearly makes me vomit, I try and drown it out with loads of soap
> I'm completely mortified that my girlfriend has to deal with this
> Finally cook dinner
> He emerges from his room and apologizes saying that he's been really busy
> I look over at his now-open door (visible from the kitchen)
> He was playing "Alice: Madness Returns" on his Playstation
> I call him out on it
> He apologizes again, saying "My depression and anxiety have been a lot to deal with lately"
> WHAT THE FUCKING SHIT KIND OF BULLSHIT EXCUSE
> Contain my rage because I don't want to ruin my evening with my GF
The lease is ending soon, I only have to deal with this fatass until April, then I can finally move somewhere where I don't fucking hate my room mate. He's such a fucking creep, I can't stand it. His fat shit girlfriend is (supposedly) bisexual and she makes creepy sexual comments towards my girlfriend all the time, always in front of him, and he gets off on the idea of her getting off on it. If I wasn't moving out so soon I would have murdered them both by now.
>Roommate forgets the oven/stove is on half the time he uses it
Luckily it's electric and utilities are included in rent, but it still bugs me. He's also like 4 years older than me so he should be more responsible.
>>7304702
This so much. Also, I'm a young college student, I often have pressing homework, an event I need to get to on time, or will be in the middle of watching something or a group online event when dinner finish cooking. It's much more convenient to give a warm rinse and wait for a few days before taking to time to fill up a soapy sink and clean everything.
>>7299909
use a dehumidifier or leave out trays of baking soda in every room and turn on fans to circulate air to help suck the smell
>>7305332
These lame excuses are only appeasing yourself. The rest of us know you're lazy.
>>7304727
How long does a countertop dishwasher take to run? Does it get dishes clean enough? Any downsides?
>>7305192
What the fuck?
Are neural network bots trying to learn from /ck/'s posts and fit in?
These things usually happen once you start eating separate meals or don't establish a routine/rules. We usually plan and ask each other what we want to eat ahead of time so both of us chip in and wash and clean together.
>>7305477
Yeah, that post had me scratching my head.
>>7305485
So you're the two of you are both gay and unable to communicate effectually? Adorable.
>>7305422
It's 2 or 3 days not a week. I live alone and I'm not disturbing anyone, it's more convenient and saves me time. It's not like I have grimey countertops and bugs, just some cups and plates in half the sink.
>Give landlord my authentic bolognese recipe
>He makes it
>Then adds a load of peppers, olives and pesto to it
>mfw
>>7299487
>It's actually the best way.
BULL SHIT. When I was at school it was me and three others sharing a tiny ass apartment with a tiny ass kitchen and tiny ass jail-cell-sized bedrooms. The other three thought like this too and the result was a sink piled high with fucking dirty dishes every week that can't be used for anything else (like washing your hands after handling raw meat, draining pasta, rising fruits/veggies, etc). Pissed me off to no end that I had to move or work around a mountain of dishes every time I went in there to cook, of course the other three couldn't sympathize with me because they ate nothing but take-out and microwaved frozen shit.
>Rommate subsists on pasta and cheese
>Sometimes cooks and eats 2lbs of bacon in one sitting
>Wonders why he feels tired all the time
Great guy, but I don't get his habits
>>7305552
people enjoy different things. Get over yourself.
>>7305332
>I'm a young college student, I often have pressing homework, an event I need to get to on time, or will be in the middle of watching something
using 'i'm a student' as a reason for having no time is pretty stupid lad. wait til you have a full time job you lazy piece of shit.
>>7306366
>full time job
>as time consuming as being a student during the school year
lol
>in the process of moving to SF
>a friend's friend might let me sublet a nice place for 700 dollars a month
whelp
>>7306411
It depends entirely on what your course load is like.
>>7305552
>peppers, olives and pesto
Sounds good to me, anon, maybe try being less autistic.
>>7297439
>roomie is making garbanzo beans
>puts beans in a pot
>covers with water and turns to high
>sofarsogood.jpg
>go outside for a cigarette
>come back, pot is still on high
>steam pouring out of the teflon pan
>overhead fan on high, steam still filling the room
>beans are still boiling
>Be me
>Wash and dry everything I use as soon as I finish with them
>Room mates want to split cleaning duties
>Tell them to sort it by themselves because I clean up after myself and my assigned room
>They don't want to have none of that because they want a servant to clean up after them
>Tell me if I want to be so anti-social to get out
>Point out my lease and were I have every right to stay there for the next six months till the lease expires
>They take me to court and make up lies saying that I come home drunk and such
>They also wrecked the apartment outside and claims I did it
>Provide pictures of my assigned room and how orderly I have it, borderline neat freak
>Explain to the judge why they're doing this and point out if my room is so tidy and I clean up after myself why would I feel the need to wreck the place
>Judge rules in my favor and demands that if they can't return my FULL payment for the lease then I am legally allowed to stay there
>Ask the judge what measures I can take to protect myself from them because if they can lie about me and slander my reputation about being a drunkard and wrecking the place what's to stop them from lying about me attempting to harm them with a weapon or rape the girl
>Judge understands my position and says it's not related to the current case but she advises that I talk to a lawyer.
>Money was never refunded for the lease because they spent more than half of it already and I stayed there for 6 months and those two never crossed me again
>Found a better place for cheaper and left two days before my lease expired and made sure my shitty room mates saw me making video and audio recordings of the room I stayed in to ensure it was left in pristine condition
>sharing basement converted into rooms with gril
>shared "living room" and bathroom
>she likes to order togo and delivery food and eat/drink in the living room
>she doesn't like to clean up her half eaten food and dirty dishes
>I compile her dishes in the living room for easy moving to the kitchen, get the hint?
>passive aggressive like a champ
>fucking cunt leaves for the weekend with massive amounts of half-eaten pizza and shit all over the living room
>I stack it all in her room (just inside the door, I didn't invade her privacy too much)
That's about it.
>>7301137
>the cuck
>the fattie
>the blackie
>the whitey
And you're the autist shut-in.
Wow. Just, wow. The level of autism is astonishing. Fucking crazy idea: talk to someone instead of going full passive aggressive.
>uses a fork to cook scrambled eggs on my non-stick pans
>tell him not to
>does anyway
>pans now have more trenches that WW1
>>7306555
>being passive aggressive to a girl
That's not how it works, champ.
>>7306604
>non-stick pans
he's doing you a favor
teflon is hazardous, get good pans
>>7305261
This guy knows what's up.
>buy lean meat because fatty meat doesn't agree with me
>my meat goes in its own freezer draw
>come home from work and go to cook a breadless burger
>both my small packs of minced beef are gone
>ask roommate "oh i thought that was mine"
He confused his cheap and gross high % fat mince with mine?
>doesn't even offer to replace it or pay me. Tells me to eat his
Muh meattt.
>>7299933
L O N D O N
O
N
D
O
N
>>7300318
S E M E N
E
M
E
B
>>730655
Okay has anyone ever had to deal with a roommate or gf/bf that eats a lot of fast food or delivery and then just won't clean up after themselves?
Specifically for me my gf likes to leave stuff just around our apartment like regular and to go cups still partly full of water. I generally will clean them up and if I ask her about them she always gets super salty with me for asking about it. I mean it might be my tone but goddamn I'm just trying to keep our shit clean.
>>7306642
What's a freezer draw?
>>7306642
I fucking hate this shit. I now have my milk and eggs in hidden boxes so that my roommates dont use it. Yes I'm a gaylord for buying organic 1% milk and brown cage free eggs, but if they're gonna use my shit, then why would they replace it with their walmart brand shit? like what the fuck is that logic
>on top floor of 3 story house
>2 other housemates on second floor
>1 on ground floor
>they all decide to smoke that night
>I go to bed, had exam next day
>wake up in morning
>somethin ain't right doc.wav
>room is darker than usual
>start smelling burning
>am I having a stroke?
>realise what's going on
>oh fug
>go time
>start thinking about what to wear for my television interview when I talk about how I carried 3 other housemates out of a burning building
>run downstairs
>lounge (connected to kitchen) is full of smoke
>run into kitchen
>smoke is coming from oven, tiles behind oven are black from smoke + heat
>open that shit up
>a lump of black mass that in a previous life existed as a pizza greets me
>fucking idiots
>have to open all windows in middle of winter to get smell out
>confront housemates about it
>they just laugh
>gas bill that month was through the roof
I can see the funny side now but at the time I was shitting myself
>friend has LeCreust cast iron Wok (he's rich) that his mum gave to him because she couldn't be arsed using it (lel)
>me and him cooking up siqq stir frys and all sorts, loving it
>other housemate uses wok, somehow gets some shit burned into it so pours boiling water in to clean it off
>tell him to clean it
>"yeah alright senpai after I've eaten"
>whatever, I leave that night to go home for 2 weeks, friend who owns wok is gone for 3
>leave
>come back
>wok is still in same place with water in it
>know it's the same water as when I left, 2 weeks ago
>>7306483
that's a new level of masturbation mate
"hey look, i'm objectively correct according to the condition i made after you called me out"
>>7306699
So?
>>7305552
did you mean to say 'autistic' rather than 'authentic'?
>>7300025
lmao, didn't know shit could speak english. good show bruv
>Room mate is a "chef"
>always has something to say about other peoples cooking
>all day shouting shit at the TV and commenting on cooking shows how they did things wrong
>if i am cooking will randomly tell me what i am doing wrong or what to do
>made pasta one day and before i started he stopped me to tell me to put water in a pot, put it on the stove, how to turn on the oven, how long to wait, how to check if it's done, and what sauce to add as if i had never cooked before
>he does this every single time
>when he cooks he puts a lid on the pan and walks off, returns 10 minutes later to serve
>if you plan to have a certain dish tomorrow, he will make it without asking, a whole fucking day before, so it's "already done"
God the list just keeps going fucking on, here is a recent one.
>Throw chicken in the frying pan as it gets hot
>he hears cooking and comes to the kitchen immediately to hand out his expert opinion
>as i am doing some other shit he turns off the heat and leaves
>not long later realize chicken isnt cooking, realize he turned tht shit off and put it back on
>ask him wtf he did that for later
>"you had it too high, would have over-cooked it, it continues to cook after you turn it off"
>he did this seconds after i threw the chicken in, it was completely raw, when he turned it off
>>7306555
did you raid her pantie drawer though?
>>7306661
My bf is like that.
>wake up very early to go to work
>I find cups,empty crisp packets, half empty coke cans and plates all around the lounge
>dirty spoons, forks and knives on the countertop, not 30cm to the left where the sink is, on the damn counter
>socks and shirts thrown behind the couch after he showers
>on top of everything he is a picky eater ans 90% of his diet is supermarket pizza and breaded chicken
Sometimes he hoovers and does the dishes so that is something I guess.
>>7306733
He knows you're too big of a pussy to do anything about it. That's why he continues to fuck your shit up.
>>7306759
lol hes expecting you to be his housewife
>>7306759
L O N D O N
>>7306761
His older than me, rich as shit, and pays my rent from time to time. This is why I put up with the many things he does that bug me, and praise him for his kitchen brilliance every time he insists 5 cloves of garlic are too little.
>>7304829
My roommate thinks you can literally stuff the dishwasher full and still have it get everything clean. Like two bowls, one slightly smaller than the other nested together with the larger bowl being extremely dirty and he'll cover the middle jet with shit. Then he says we need a dishwasher even though whenever i get the chance to rearrange everything all of it comes out clean
>>7306765
Those are no good reasons to put up with anyone's shit.
>>7306673
Sometimes I'd use some of my housemates Aldi orange juice to mix with vodka of an evening. Always replaced it the next day with a full carton of Tropicana so she never complained
>>7306785
>pays my rent from time to time
Once you cross that line there's no going back.
>>7305317
>Biscum chick coming on way too strong
GEE I AM SO SURPRISED
I know some chill carpet munchers, but nothing bothers me more than an overly aggressive queer person that thinks being a snowflake gives them creep immunity.
>>7306765
So basically you are a whore.
>>7305192
kek underrated post
>>7306565
that's honestly a good description [spoiler]except those descriptions don't describe just how degenerate they are[/spoiler]
[spoiler]or that i frequently get invited to private events/parties where i'm the youngest by 5-10 years which is probably pretty autistic of me[/spoiler]
>>7306759
Honestly I just try to be consistent with what I do. I mean it's great to think that everyone will swap out chores and make everything nice and neat, but I think it's better to just know what your good at and don't mind doing it often
That's how I am with dishes. When I had roommates we would get shitty about cleaning dishes constantly until I just decided I wanted a clean kitchen more than anything else. Yeah they got real pissy over it but I didn't complain about what I cleaned so they eventually got over it.
Also fuck everyone who becomes a primadonna over their cast iron. If you leave shit cooked on it I'm gonna fucking clean it (and no I didn't use detergent on it but he still got shitty about it).
>>7301187
Basic mistakes though, yet how is doing minced meat in without olive oil bad? Usually the fat and moisture will be more than enough by itself.
>>7300318
laxative + sleeping pill
>>7300022
>I was comfy in my chair and this fuckwad comes over and starts messing with me
If I saw you comfy in your chair I would come over and massage your feet.
>>7300318
>take freshly baked goods into living room with the rest of the roomies
>position yourself so that all roommates can see you
>whip out your dick, rub it on your food
>tell them that you are now going to do this with everything you make
Several times now I've seen my obese roommate boil lunchmeat in progresso soup. Without cutting it up or anything. He also adds Splenda to plain hot water and cools it in the refrigerator.
I had a roommate (pic related) that was the biggest one-upper I've ever met. Any time I would cook something he would cook the same thing a day or two later. Only he would buy more expensive ingredients and make a big deal about it.
For instance, one time I made salmon patties with canned salmon and used crushed saltines as the bread crumbs, celery, onion, egg, etc. He went out and bought fresh salmon, a bottle of expensive olive oil, pre-made bread crumbs, shallots, free range eggs, etc. and spent like 3 hours cooking it all. His may have been better than mine, but this fucker had to make everything a contest when I'm just making a childhood favorite the way my dad taught me.
He was like this with EVERYTHING. If I got a new phone he would show up a couple days later with a new one and then proceed to tell me why his is better than mine. Spoiled rich faggot that only smoked lucky strikes.
>>7307534
why is this penis person
>>7307947
You both sound like cunts.
>>7307957
why indeed
>>7297439
>Leaving dirty dishes in the sink
>Expecting someone to clean them for you
No OP you are the faggot here.
>>7305744
>why does he feels tired all the time?
>>7299909
My roomie once burnt a fucking teflon pan and it poisoned the air in my room so bad I had to live in a hotel for a week. I came back and the smell was embedded in all of my clothes, bedding, etc. Never living with other people ever again
My roomie keeps leaving this weird white coating on the bottom of the skillet. I don't know what it is or how he does it, but it takes Barkeepers Friend to clean it off.
>be me 5 years ago
>3 roomies and I take turns in dishes whenever we think about
>both sinks are absolutely stuffed with dishes
>CHRISTMAS BREEEEEAK
>first person to come back is me
>sink still full of dishes
>pigeon shit everywhere next to them
>shit splattered on an oven with a perpetually on pilot light which gently heated the shit for weeks
>dead pigeon next to the toilet
At least I fed him a bit. Those dishes were pecked clean. Well, the ones that weren't submerged, anyway.
>>7300069
Easy mode solution: dish washer
>>7303380
>I imagine he's probably dead now.
Damn why did this make me laugh...
>>7306836
I can't fucking stand it. I hate the societal expectation that people have that I'll suspend my monogamy by default as long as it's another girl that I'm getting cheated on by, even worse, the assumption that I'm going to be grateful for it, as though I'm expected to be a cuckold for lesbians. My girlfriend is straight, and even if she wasn't, we're monogamous and that implies some pretty cut and dry boundaries. I'm not going to act grateful to some ugly as fuck carpet muncher for creeping on my girlfriend any more than I would to another man who was giving her rude sexual attention. It's fucking annoying as hell. My roommate has casually mentioned to me before that he's like to see his girlfriend "get with" my girlfriend and I almost threw up in my mouth at that kind of fucking disrespect. The only reason I haven't blown up on his yet is because I want to keep the last months of our lease civil before I move out to an apartment that's closer to my job/my girlfriend's house so I never have to see those fat filthy fucks again. I won't miss them.
>>7307534
D E V I L I S H
>>7307947
He sounds petty but honestly that's a long shot from the worst thing a room mate can do. At least he seems reasonably responsible with his shit in the kitchen.
>>7309153
>I almost threw up in my mouth
You're kind of a wuss, aren't you?
4 people me included, I usually do a sink worth of dishes every second day. Moving in, they told me that sometimes life can be busy so they can't really do dishes and I agreed and told them I'm the same way. Sometimes in beat from work and don't do dishes for a day or two, and they pick up the slack.
They like cooking edibles and sweets so they give me some. Roomie that's a chef sometimes I collab with him using our individual stuff to make some bomb ass dishes, plus he teaches me a thing or two.
We bullshit about life, and get along well. I could drink in the living room with em, acting like a drunken buffoon talk a little smack, and get away with it, since they know me.
We all live our own separate lives and nobody has qualms with anyone. It's like we're a pseudo family
Oh boy, I am living with the weirdest girl now. When we both moved in to this apartment we both decided to go on a diet and lose 5-8kgs. We both had a simmilar starting weight, around 64kgs.
tl;dr, I lost weight, she didn't. And I have a fucked up thyroid.
>she hates cooking, thinks it's a waste of time, but she said since I cook all the time it will motivate her
>she started her diet by buying a 150$ diet plan online (just the plan, no meals)
>then she postpones the diet because she said she doesn't have the money for proper ingredients
>in the meantime she continues to eat out every day because fucklogic.jpg (eating out is much more expensive than just cooking yourself over here)
>after getting paid she buys the ingredients for another two weeks
>sticks to the diet for two days
>has to leave on a business trip
>"well who could resist those croissants? Giggle giggle!"
>comes back after two days
>whoops, the diet is ruined! I have to start again, can't continue!
>80% of the ingredients she bought spoiled and she throws them away
>well, can't start now, can't afford the ingredients! I'll start next week!
jesus fucking christ watching this food spoil pissed me off to no end. So many veggies and fruit.
> Live with fat fuckboy and his fat lazy girlfriend
>Sometimes cooks and eats 2lbs of bacon in one sitting
>covers with water and turns to high
>Tell them to sort it by themselves because I clean up after myself and my assigned room
>I compile her dishes in the living room for easy moving to the kitchen, get the hint?
>pans now have more trenches that WW1
>doesn't even offer to replace it or pay me. Tells me to eat his
>somethin ain't right doc.wav
>come back
>Throw chicken in the frying pan as it gets hot
>on top of everything he is a picky eater ans 90% of his diet is supermarket pizza and breaded chicken
>dead pigeon next to the toilet
>>7309197
>They like cooking edibles
As opposed to cooking what?
>>7309211
Same girl, really into food fads, no matter how stupid they are.
>"anon, why are you eating so much pasta? Gluten is bad for you! My 150$ diet plan has gluten-free bread in it!"
>the bread in the diet was a DIY thing, she was supposed to make sourdough and bake it
>way too lazy for that
>says she'll just buy gluten-free bread instead
>no gluten-free bread in the nearby bakeries, ends up buying regular bread
>still giving me lectures on how gluten is bad for me and how my morning oats might be "infested" with traces of it, ruining my diet
>>7309227
Gluten fad got boring. Time to get hyped about something else!
>"hey anon I'm starting this new thing today, it's called The Five Elements Theory of Chinese cooking"
>"this paste made out of beans is supposed to clense my pancreas"
>"it will help me get rid of hot moisture and then I'll lose weight"
a week later she throws out a whole potful of a mouldy paste because it was absolutely inedible.
>>7299933
p h o e n i x
h
o
e
n
i
x
>implying snow
>>7309222
Edibles as in pot brownies and the like.
Edibles as opposed to smokables.
>>7309222
Edibles is a term implying the use of weed butter, or "budder" to make "special" brownies at the like
>>7309255
Ah. Understood.
>>7307947
>canned salmon and crushed saltines
You deserved to be shown up.
>>7309214
> Dead pigeon next to toilet
Please explain.
>>7309286
just some retarded reddit """epic"""poster using a script
>>7307376
>using spoilers on /ck/
Hooooooh boy
>>7309174
I was exaggerating, but I was majorly creeped out by the suggestion and grossed out by the idea. Sorry that I don't cuck for lesbians, and even if I did, I would pick something better than an obese introvert with short, died hair and poorly-placed Pokemon tattoos.
>>7309296
Tell him to fuck off and that it's unacceptable, stop being a beta and confront him about it.
>>7309290
What, do people run bots on greentext threads here for shits and giggles?
>>7309296
>>7309296
> Obese
> "Bisexual"
> Tattoos of 90's pop-culture
> Short, unnaturally colored hair
So his girlfriend is pretty much Tumblr incarnate.
>>7309295
And I'm sure you're a shining paragon of lifestyle choices. You're here, after all.
>>7309298
I would if it weren't for the fact that the lease was running out in just over two months. I know it's easy to say you would do give le ebin alpha male beatdown to the guy when you're talking about a purely hypothetical situation, but I live with this guy in an extremely tight space that's already tense as fuck and I'd rather just play it cool for nine weeks and then just book it the fuck out of there when the time comes and never have to speak to him or his disgusting girlfriend ever again.
>>7309314
I don't hijack established words for my own purposes. Such terms as shitposter are elegant portmanteaus not previously taken. I have respect for the language, you see.
>>7309331
Oh you.
>>7309314
> Le 4Chan self hate meme
I'm a different anon from the one you replied to, but I don't buy it that anyone here is automatically a loser. Smaller boards like /ck/ have a pretty high percentage of normalfags, mostly guys who used to go on /b/ back when they were teens and moved into other boards as they got older/less anti-social. Pretty much everyone uses some form of internet communication at this point, just because you prefer an anonymous image board to Reddit or Tumblr or what the fuck ever doesn't mean that you can't have a stable life outside of the internet.
>>7309331
I can't even tell if this is bait or not.
>>7309321
It's not about being ``le alpha redpill male'', it's about being assertive and letting others know your limits to make co-existing much easier.
You'll never get anywhere if you aren't assertive.
>having roommates
>ever
Unless you are allowed to fondle them a bit, why? You might as well live at a halfway house or homeless shelter since it is much cheaper than cutting bills in half with them
>>7309399
I'd rather live with a sloth that doesn't clean dishes and have a normal place where I don't feel ashamed to bring girls over to than a halfway house filled with middle-aged drug recovering drug addicts that will only bring me down.
>>7297439
>roommate cooks bacon being sure to touch every piece of meat to every piece of his hands
>rinses hands in sink with water for three seconds considers that clean enough
>proceeds to touch everything else in kitchen
>>7309406
>not being ashamed to bring girls to a sharehouse
I really hope you're fresh out of high school, anon.
>>7309447
It's alarming how many people are so careless with meat.
>>7303497
2am is as good a time as any.
>>7297439
My portion of the pantry is mostly whole grains, flour, multi purpose pioneer mix, various sauces and oils to cook with, and mostly starting blocks of meals (cost effective and can turn mixed and other things into meals).
My roommates is mostly chips, Canned fruits, cookies, other bullshit.
My portion of the fridge is mostly milk, land o lakes unsalted, 2-3 dozen eggs at any given time, a large pot of whatever stew/soup I make for the week, various fresh veggies, and my one bad thing is frozen mice for my snake in the freezer.
My roommates have frozen waffles and pancakes, frozen fruit, and energy drinks.
They usually just eat my food..
One time
>roommates disgusting girlfriend comes over
>uses my expensive good cuts of bacon
>used fucking olive oil in the pan for some reason
>fucks it all up
>burns basically a couple dollars worth of shit due to her inability to be intelligent
>have to clean it all
Pic related, top and bottom is mine. Middle is theirs.
>>7309492
Also top is mine. Utilitarian, but I'll eat like a king once I get my degree atleast.
>>7299933
>boobs
So why hasn't he fug you yet? Is he gay or blood related to you?
>>7309492
I don't respect people who can't deal with anything other than bagged and premade foods. My fucking roommate spends all of his food budget on frozen shit and cheap vodka, it's disgusting.
>>7309457
23 years old, I'm in grad school.
>my literal face when my roommate is a spoiled asian rich kid who eats out every night and doesn't step foot in the kitchen other then to refrigerate his chocolate bars
the kitchen is mine
>>7309600
It's just silly. Spend $8 on pre made frozen shit or spend $4 on the materials to make the same amount if not more...
>>7300098
>nice kitchen
>that disgusting plastic countertop
>electric stovetop
>3 square feet of counterspace
>tfw not very good at cooking, can only make really basic shit
>live at home, cousin and mother literal slobs with the kitchen, never any room and not about to clean up all of their shit every fucking day
>just want to move out with a roommate and learn to chef and fuck around
mang i can't wait till i have enough money to move out
>>7300318
Use semen when making any dish from now on.
>>7306423
>moving to SF
Congrats on your incredibly poor life choices
>>7299933
He has every right to beat the living shit out of you.
>>7299933
Please be my gf.
>>7299983
>implying you're not on the same level as him.
Source I'm a chink.
>>7310187
virgins and betas belong on reddit.com/r9k/ or 4chan.net/redpill/ please don't post here again without asking.
>>7300030
you've never been hit in the nuts have you?
>>7303402
you should kick him out.
>>7305317
jesus christ dude either move out or have them move out.
the fact that your GF powers through that is an atestment to the fact that she cares about you.
>>7306604
>cooking scrambled eggs with a fork
how does that even work?
>>7306685
could be worse
>be me
>live in apartment with gf, roomate and his gf
>study at uni, so i'm usually out all day practicing
>have a bro that lives across the road, we've known each other for a while and i help him fix his car from time to time.
>be in uni, taking class
>bro from across the street calls
>he never calls, he just waits for when i get home (he works during until 5, i get home much later)
>leave class
>answer
>"Bro, your apartment is on fire"
>wtf.iso
>ask him if he sees smoke
>"nah bro, i see fire coming out the windows, it's starting to spread to the other floors, i've allready called the fireman, though you should know"
>literally get home in 2 minutes
>spend the hole trip calling my gf
>she picks and is ok, thank god
>get to apartment
>firefighters allready putting out the fire
>roomate left some a poptard in the microwave and forgot about it, so he went out.
>entire apartment burnt to ashes
>out of a house
i swear to god words cannot descrive my rage. i had my piano in there too.
>>7308253
pretty sure it's semen
>>7309211
are you a manlet?
>>7309240
>this will clean out my pancreas
>my pancreas
lost my shit desu senpai
>>7310217
How does that post make him a virgin or a beta?
>>7309584
He asked me if I would ever consider fucking him and I said no.
He literally once stalked a girl for two years that he had a crush on until her family had to intervene and threaten him. I really don't want any of that drama. He's also disgusting, doesn't shower for five days at a time (literally told me this), doesn't wash his clothes for a month at a time, re-wears the same underwear, and is a chain smoker who coughs up phlegm multiple times a day.
>he always clogs the sink by cramming food down there, namely rice
>I wash my dishes, sink fills up
>can't plunge it (have to do this every day because it is ALWAYS clogged) without having to reach into greasy nasty water and move his dishes out of the way
>a bunch of knives tossed in there, not feeling like it
>leave it
>come back next day
>his shit is still there, sink is still full, piles of dishes everywhere
>I can't wash my dishes without moving his, plunging his mess, and re-plunging ten minutes later
>I never eat out so I accumulate a lot of dishes every day
>have only enough dishes for one and a half days of meals, HAVE to wash every day
>putting this off, hoping he wakes up and does it
>find burned remnants of the tags from his bagged tea half turned to ash on the stove
>he makes tea by boiling the piss out of multiple bags of lipton at a full rolling boil for ten minutes
>tags are ash
>this is a fire hazard
