How many of you have actually dealt with the stereotype of the mean lolita brandwhore elitist that newbies and itas exaggerate and live in fear of? What did you think of them?
This thread will probably not end well.
Those type of people do exist but they're fairly rare. Out of my 200~ person comm we maybe have two that act like that in person. I have a feeling that most people who really feel that way keep their "mean girl" attitude exclusive to cgl and btb, as well as their close friends, so they can vent it out safely without fear of repercussions.
All that said I think newbies do have a fear of those people for good reason, but only when it comes to sharing things online. Seagulls can be vicious.
When I was a 17 year old ita weeb at my first con I complimented a girl's IW bag and she said "Oh it's really expensive so I don't think you can afford it"
I encountered another elitist a year or two later who owned a lot of brand but dressed like shit. She'd do this faux big sister act with newbies and then shit talk them later.
On the flipside I've been called an elitist meanie for recommending someone buy a petti over $10.
Someone commented on the about how cheap and tacky the brand of dress I was wearing is after I told them what it was. I haven't bought indie brands since lmao.
>thinking you can embarrass me because I'm new
>but I'm not fat and actually fit into brand
Stay classy
>>8758793
what brand was it, out of interest? Most people don't know much about taobao/indie brands unless they own them so they were probably talking out their ass. If the construction and materials are solid quality, I see no reason to bitch. Hell, isn't it good to get good stuff for cheap?
>few months into lolita
>find out there's a small meetup planned at a local fair
>super excited, go there in my best burando
>group gets together
>small, mostly newbies
>go look around for others who might not know where to go because the place we said we'd meet turned out to be far bigger than we thought
>find two girls in head to toe Moitie
>we go greet them
>they look at us
>eye us up and down
>glare and walk away with a disgusted face
I saw them again years later on a meetup, very occupied at glaring everyone down who wasn't wearing Moitie.
I remember I was In a meetup wearing an old school black & white BTSSB jsk and I noticed some weird glances, but thought I was just being paranoid.
Later, I noticed a girl touching the cotton lace of my jsk as if she was checking if it was cotton or not (when she saw I noticed her, she said "ohh...it's baby... right?"). It was weird.
>>8758622
I plan on being a brand whore someday.. but I have also been a service worker all my life and have no intention to be rude to someone who can't afford to buy brand..
I'm more worried about having to deal with people thinking that I am dressed horribly because I like trends they disliked. I notice this a lot more in the community than brandwhore elitists. It's more like, if you like what we like, you'll be okay, but if you are interested in things that aren't considered acceptable, you are going to get shunned and torn apart.
I guess this is a thing in every hobby but it's fucking maximized in this hobby I feel.
And yes I know it's not just limited to us, the Japense lolitas are doing it as well, as I'm sure the Chinese ones too.
Fuck if anyone is gonna be a huge brandwhore elitist, I bet it'd be those insanely upper class chinese girls who constantly fly out to Japan to buy up dresses left and right.
>>8758913
I hate when people I barely know try to touch me or my things. It's rude, unwelcomed, and not even necessary.
Not lolita, but I've been called a cosplay elitist enough times just for telling people not to cosplay until they can afford a good wig/cosplay.
>>8758965
Being able to afford a decent wig isn't hard, and you can get really good ones for cheap. When I see people wearing shiny wigs in public all I can think is that they didn't dig deep enough.
>>8758964
Me too! And a lot of people think I'm weird for being this way. I just don't like to be touched by strangers.
Just once, my first time at PMX, and to this day I'm not sure if it was "meanie elitists!1!!1" or people being tired from convention events and running around non-stop. More people at the event were nice than not, so it didn't really bother me at the time.
I've never actually met this stereotype, but I moved from small comm to small comm. There is a girl in my comm who seems kinda judgey, but she wears replicas so I don't take her seriously.
>>8759044
I know how you feel. I have friends that still don't get it and of course random strangers on the street don't get it either.
It's annoying to put up with.
In my experience I've only met one mean girl lolita group and it was these two highschoolers in the comm. They were shitty teenagers that didn't have power over anything else in their life and lolita was their only outlet for all that elitist angst.
It's kind of funny thinking about them now, I think they stopped coming to meets because all they would do is complain and then they didn't get rides from parents or other comm members anymore.
>>8758965
Well it is a bit elitist to tell people they shouldn't cosplay. I'm not familiar with cosplay but I have a classmate who does it in the most cheap and lazy way because she just think it's fun, how does it hurt anyone? I mean as long as she not telling others how to cosplay or attending meet-ups..
I was a complete ita when I went to my first meet. But I saw how the others were dressed and it made me determined to do better for my second meet-up. After I put 'going' on the facebook event, the person who was organizing it messaged me not to come. After that I was too scared to go to any other meet-ups for nearly a year.
>>8759107
Anon, they said that you shouldn't cosplay until you can afford a decent outfit and wig . It's easy to find good quality materials and wigs for cheap, and good craftsmanship and makeup don't cost the earth. Don't pout about meanie elitists not letting your friend shine. People are sick of bad closet cosplays held together with hot glue and pins. Don't be a bitch and let your friend walk around dressed like shit. Put on your big girl panties and tell her that she looks terrible, and help her improve.
>>8758622
>mean lolita brandwhore elitist
I've only ever had direct personal experience with one who considered herself a superior vetted lolita desu despite being fuck ugly, co-dependent and ita. She was some autistic womanchild my ex dated and constantly complained to me about.
I tried to be amicable towards her when I could but she would purposefully exclude herself from meets and keep my ex as far away from me as possible. Always a super bitch to me, couldn't even utter a 'hello' to be cordial and non-spergy when I'd run into them. My ex would want to chat with me but she always made me feel really uncomfortable.
Apparently she had beef with me because when I first started out I bought an Oo Jia replica skirt when she had the actual brand of the print in question. When I wore it to a con she got salty and said to my ex, who later told me that, "it must be a replica bc anon is too fat for the real thing." Even though the bitch is just as fat as I was! Since I wasn't a fucking cunt, however, I actually had people approach me and ask for pictures with me unlike her. She started a deco vendor stall with a bunch of shit nobody ever bought. I'm so glad she had the terrible looks and socially inept behavior to match what an asshole she was/is. Maybe if she was actually beautiful, talented, and financially independent she might've gotten away with being such a massive thundercunt.
When they broke up she sent me a friend request on fb, probably to spy on me. Nope.
>>8758622
it depends on what comm you are from.
Some comms (comms that no one will speak of out of fear)
are composed primarily of this type. When that's the norm of the comm, there's not much you can do. Anyone remember the NYC lolita drama? I doubt they are the only ones.
here's a few glorious tidbits I've overheard from lolitas (in real life mind you)
"Oh, poor girl, she can't be a REAL lolita if she wears nothing but bodyline" (her outfit was fine)
>watched them approach a random girl in a lolita skirt and tell her she was wearing lolita wrong
"Oh my god, she's dating such a fat and ugly loser!" "haha, its the only way she could afford brand, by getting a sugar daddy"
Honestly, before I made some lolita friends of my own, I thought all lolitas were like that.
>>8759151
>After I put 'going' on the facebook event, the person who was organizing it messaged me not to come
yikes
have you interacted with that person since?
Went to my first meetup in high school. they all started critiquing my coord, then when I asked for some of them to help me improve with the fashion since I admitably didn't know what the hell I was doing, a couple girls told me "sure" then proceeded to blow me off until I got the hint.
I just wanted someone to teach me the basics of lolita..
I'll just stick to cosplay.
>>8759318
Grow a thicker skin
>>8759107
It's not that i'm running up to bad cosplayers going "DON'T DO THIS". I'm in a cosplay help group on fb and I've jumped in a few times on threads where people are mentioning budgets/suggesting cheap ass wigs and say that they'll be happier in the long run if they just save up for a $30 wig instead of getting a $10/trying to make asuna or whatever on $100 is a bad idea, and they call me elitist.
Man, I've been a member of two major comms and I have to say, I've met huge cunts who dress like shit and I've met huge cunts who look great. It doesn't seem to correspond to whether you wear all-brand and coord like a goddess or not. I think the well-dressed bitches just stick in peoples' collective memories more.
>>8759151
What the hell. "Don't come?" How full of themselves do they have to be? Who would *want* to go to something like that? Did you ever see these people again?
>>8759057
Oh damn, I go to PMX every year. When was this?
The first meet I went to I was a sad ita baby, but I was so excited to see all of them in person. I wore a dress I hand made since I was a high schooler at the time with no job. After I told them I made the dress I remember one of the girls saying, "Oh wow! Thats so much cuter now knowing that you made it" When she had previously said nothing to me the entire meet.
Most of the other girls were sweethearts though and I think it helped that I wasn't too spergy and weird. I stuck with the fashion and now that I'm an adult with a real job I can actually afford brand and I don't look like a total mess.
>>8759384
its not about growing a thicker skin, its about being a dickbag.
I never asked for the criticism, but when I received it I very calmly asked for help to improve and was snubbed.
Honestly, I am the "Brandwhore" of my comm. I know that a few girls think I'm a bitch and won't talk to me because they think I'm an elitist. Yes I judge them for their shit-tier coords but never to their faces, because I'm not an awful person.
>>8759318
>I admitably didn't know what the hell I was doing
I don't understand newbies that get into lolita and wonder why they don't look as good as girls who've spent time and effort to develop an eye for the fashion. There have always been resources available to guide people through what to buy and how to wear it, and still we get people whose only excuse is "I'm new!" Not saying you have to start out with 10/10 coords but no one is going to hold your hand and 'teach' you how to lolita, just like here on /cgl/, where no one wants to spoonfeed anybody.
>>8759667
I understand that viewpoint entirely.
me at that age though? I was a sheltered child who didn't have access to the internet and was doing the best to learn about the fashion from books, so when I heard about a meetup I was really excited to meet someone who could help me learn more about it.
>>8759415
Fuck. Years ago. Like 2009 or 2010?
>>8759601
I think half of /cgl/ feels like this but it's never actually true lol
>>8759601
Are you my doppelganger? This describes me perfectly.
I've only ever known one 'elitist brandwhore', and she was the leader of our comm. She had pretty much no life outside of lolita and visiting Japan, and clearly looked down on anyone who didn't wear glorious Japanese brand or spoke Japanese and did she mention she visits Japan at least once a year and is bffs with all the Japanese lolita shopgirls? Because she's totally bffs with all the Japanese lolita shopgirls and every time she stops by (which is really often btw!) they tell her she looks soooo cute and fawn over her and everything~
Funny thing is, she was really really bad at dressing herself. I've seen maybe two nice outfits from her in the 7+ years I've known her through lolita. She wore mostly brand, but she wore it really badly. Like wtf-did-you-get-dressed-in-the-dark badly. She also has a rather ugly face and limp greasy hair that she refuses to style nicely or wear a wig over because that's not how Japanese lolitas do it and did she mention that Japanese lolitas told her she was cute? Have Japanese lolitas ever told YOU that you look cute? I don't think so!
She's gone now, though. Good riddance.
I was telling a small group of friends about how in the last meeting I went I felt pretty annoyed that most of them were just talking about politics and social justice for a long time and I had no one to actually talk about the fashion. Someone asked me later how well dressed were they and I said "mediocre", to which one of the girls in the group accused me of being elitist and a brand whore afterwards. Well shit, sorry for wanting to talk about lolita with people into it.
>>8759667
>just like here on /cgl/, where no one wants to spoonfeed anybody.
Huh, /cgl/ was of extreme help to me, especially through the coord help thread.
>>8760004
One of your friends called you that or is my reading comprehension just bad?
>>8759601
>I keep my judgments to myself
But anon, that just makes you a decent human being. Everyone judges everybody. However elitists, on the other hand, make it known that they are superior and actively try to make others feel inferior. The elitist also doesn't believe in gradual improvements, and sees the person in a black and white view as either being acceptable or an unworthy peasant.
>>8760009
One of my friends in the small group (which has nothing to do with lolita) called me that. Maybe the post got too convoluted.
>>8760016
Telling someone they don't dress well is not the best way to start conversation.
Idk if this counts but we had an issue a few years ago with one of our group mods. We believed she was spending too much time on cgl and forgot how to behave properly. She would openly critique peoples coord and point blank told a first timer her dress was ita. and after said newbie cancelled on a meet she said she was attending, took it upon herself to ban the girl from the comm. She claimed we as a community did not want her, if another lolita had not ran in to her at a con and asked why she stopped coming, none of it would have come to light. We proceeded to dethrone her as mod and never really spoke of it again.
>>8760019
Oh no, someone in this group of friends asked me how well they (the people in the meetup) were dressed, and I said it was mediocre. This other girl who was already like "why are you complaining about that?? be glad they weren't brand whores shitting on bodyline" and the like just straight up attacked me after I said that.
>>8760031
Maybe she was just immature or spergy?
Of all the years and inner hate I've harbored here on cgl I've always been conscious of the difference between my anonymous behavior and the way I present myself in real life social situations.
>>8760033
I understood your story...well, until you clarified it. Now I don't get it...if the friends you were complaining about the comm to weren't into Lolita, how would they know enough to call you elitist for dumping on the other comm members' coords?
>>8760039
How would she have become a mod in the first place by being either of those?
>>8760044
Being pushy as hell and asserting herself to the top.
>>8760043
They don't, really. I asked another person why that friend got so angry, it's just really because of the bad experiences she had with lolitas being extremely elitist and obsessed with brands.
>>8759963
If she knew that much about Japan, then she would know that Japanese lolitas telling her she looks cute means very little, considering Japan doesn't have such strict "rules" and have far lower standards. If she's been around them so much, she should have noticed that as a whole Japanese girls aren't dressed as well.
>>8759267
I don't get why you wanted to talk to your ex so badly, are you one of those people?
>>8759267
You sound so bitter
