>>688667596
Get some guns.

>>688667596

Your next step is to stop using the metric system.

>>688667596

>>>/int/

You must be much dumber than you already are.

How do I become a real German? I already invited a migrant to live in my house who fucks my asian girlfriend three times a day and I quit my job so that I can give it to my black friend instead. I'm eating only during the night to respect my muslim friends during Ramadan and watch everyday Scat porn. Fellow Germans I'm doing everything right so far or do you have some tips for me?

File: v7a7Mnh.png (77 KB, 592x554) Image search: [Google]

77 KB, 592x554

>>688667596
How to become a real German:
>spend last 60 years self flagellating since jews convinced you that your country is evil
>pay taxes to buy Turkish neighbor this year's new iphone/jewish electronics
>offer female relatives to Mohammed the """""""teenage""""""" Syrian refugee
>shitpost furiously about the greatest nation the world has ever seen in an effort to control suicidal envy
>accidentally forget to thank the Prophet (PBUH) for culturally enriching your disgusting white country, be brought up on hate crimes charges

dog bless ameriga

>>688667599
A FUCKING LEAF

>>688667602
This

>>688667601
Your doing good so far

>>688667596
Kill some innocent Muslim kids with white phosphorus and say that you're a nice person. Then, when somebody says a few mean words against us some of us Muslims, call him an Islamophobe. You know, 'cause those nasty little words hurt much, much more than white phosphorous.

Start reading the bible and being obsessed with work

>>688667602
>le ebin tu quoque

Claim ancestry you don't have.

>>688667596
Yes you need to stop all those bad habits.

Move to the states, start a heavy routine of weight lifting and jogging. Build a house bunker combo and start buying lots of guns.

ITT: europoors that hate us for our freedom

>>688667608
>be krautanon
>suffer from severe repressed nationalism, bury it deep in subconscious so EU right-think squads don't take me away
>be target of friendly banter from handsome and intelligent amerifriend
>banter strikes a nerve, nearly triggers forbidden nationalist thoughts
>make snarky reference to logical fallacy in thread about shitting pants and eating burgers
>t-that'll show t-them!

Don't worry krautbro, we'll liberate you soon (Trump 2016).

File: v0coL9w.png (563 KB, 552x658) Image search: [Google]

563 KB, 552x658

>>688667596
>shower once a week and don't use toilet paper anymore

Use proper hygiene.

Also buy guns.

>>688667596

You also have to eat fries nazifag, duh.

You will also need a mobility scooter and since summer is coming up lose the shirt

>>688667612
Yeah where do the retarded german Ahmeda get these memes?

I shower like 2-3 times per day, depending on how much of a workout or how gory I get at work.

My ass is always clean.

I own literally 15 military grade legal guns and sleep behind 6 feet of concrete underground. Literally i am a stereotype of America.

>>688667596
You need to take laxatives on a daily basis 'to lose weight' (real reason: to shit your pants while shopping at walmart).

>>688667601

You must start reading german classics and despise them for they were all white males and only take them to heart, when they deliver a heartfilled message of hating your own country, because all germans were nazis at some point. Start with "Der Vorleser" and "Hitlerjunge Salomon".

>>688667600
epic burn against those stupid fat americans XDDD

THIS THIREAD IS EPIC

i love a good fresh satire

>>688667596
Yer doin it all wrong, first gtfo with that commie metric system shit and use the imperial system like a god fearing red blooded American, second showers mean you gotta stand up so instead you are going to need a large bathtub, be sure to keep a phone nearby so you can call the fire department if ya get wedged in there. Now as for the toilet paper I gots no idea how you got that un so wrong, you should be using half a roll for every shit, this is the land of plenty, no need to be stingy with it, take a fistful at a time ,ball it up and get er all up in there.

Now where was I? Oh yeah, food. Burgers alone ain't gonna do it fer ya, you gotta get some french fries, doritos, mountain dew, and budweiser in there to to get all your nutrientiments and junk. Lastly you should only be watching lesbian porn cuz if there is another mans dick in it then that makes it gay which the Lord don't care for, bible says for a man to lie with another man is an abomination but it don't say nothing about the ladies.

When you fix all that come on back and we'll sort ya out with merican hobbies as well.

My local library, the county fucking library, has had shit smeared all over its entryway for 6 months. I can't be the only one that sees it.

>>688667596
vote for the party that promises free shit, winning and explain you how the whole world if somehow ripping you off.

File: roulade.jpg (3 MB, 6000x4000) Image search: [Google]

3 MB, 6000x4000

>>688667596

I haven't eaten a hamburger in 20 years.

Why does German food suck so much? Honestly...

>>688667622
Rouladen und Klöße sind doch lecker, was gibt es daran auszusetzen?

File: image.gif (2 MB, 250x308) Image search: [Google]

2 MB, 250x308

>>688667620
What why what??

File: 1465085397475.gif (2 MB, 320x205) Image search: [Google]

2 MB, 320x205

>>688667596
Wtf is wrong with the people of wallmart? My God being that fat is one thing but wipe your damn ass.

>>688667599
>>>/LEAF/

File: image.jpg (139 KB, 507x338) Image search: [Google]

139 KB, 507x338

>>688667622
I don't know why tell me?

>>688667623


Das ist ist ekelhaft. Warum gehst du nicht stattdessen gutes essen machen ?

>>688667627

>no Pinkelwurst

Why even bother..

>>688667596
you need guns and getting fater anda fat scouter
and lot flourid water to damage your brain and your IQ sinks on 0815 american level

>>688667625
You bongs have no idea the hell I endure in central Pennsylvania. Fat, Camo, Trucks, Country, welfare, and meth. They hate blacks like /pol/ but collect from the welfare system and it's turned them pseudo nig-nog in the process.

>>688667628
Mir schmeckt's, aber jeder kann essen was er will.

>>688667629
Peesausage what?

Don't forget to hit your head on concrete, you need brain damage too

>>688667627
for americand this will be a 6 star Menu^^

>>688667631
this

whites on meth are just white niggers

File: 1451413450948.png (120 KB, 297x251) Image search: [Google]

120 KB, 297x251

>>688667607
>Americans actually reading the bible.

File: 7391432_744f2f261c_z.jpg (74 KB, 500x375) Image search: [Google]

74 KB, 500x375

>>688667633

The fat wurst on the far left.

Just how brown are you?

File: image.jpg (192 KB, 405x405) Image search: [Google]

192 KB, 405x405

>>688667635
Sadly they don't know what real food is I could not eat this shit everyday

>>688667635

The worlds most prestigious Culinary School is in New York. Chef of the Century Paul Bocuse sent his son Jerome there to "better refine his culinary acumen".

Swiss food sucks too. Thanks for Toblerone though.

:^)

Why do so many people go pantless to a supermarket?

File: 199393883883.jpg (182 KB, 903x720) Image search: [Google]

182 KB, 903x720

>>688667639
See
>>688667640

Again...why does German food suck so much?

File: 1456796819528.gif (2 MB, 420x230) Image search: [Google]

2 MB, 420x230

>>688667597
This. Pew pew pew.

>>688667596
How much is 150kg. I'm going to convert it to lbs.

It's 150 lbs. Math nigga.

>>688667631
They say Pennsylvania is Philadelphia and Pittsburgh with Alabama in between.

File: 1462815782323.jpg (3 MB, 3240x3576) Image search: [Google]

3 MB, 3240x3576

>>688667596

>>688667639
disguasting this food make you sick
diarrhoea diabetis and depressive

File: image.jpg (2 MB, 5152x2896) Image search: [Google]

2 MB, 5152x2896

>>688667642
Looks delicious man and again what's wrong with German food?

you are ~330 lbs dnot wipe your ass, is that you in pic related OP?

Also anyone who eats burgers and shit when leafy greens and delicious palm'sized sirloin steaks and Filet Minon are delicious as fuck grilled to medium perfection (just enough pink to be tender and juicy) with a side of broccoli's, light dash sea salt, and a small scoop of mashed potatoes with a drizzle of gravy, a nice big bowl of mango/watermelon/grapefruit/blueberry/apple slices dessert

>>688667643
150 kg = 150 lbs...
>>688667596
Clearly the next step is making sure you come across as uneducated

>>688667602
>watch scat porn

>>688667627
Americans will tip 20% after being served this

>>688667596
>150kg
First, convert that from untermensch metric to glorious American Imperial
Start uncontrollably shitting yourself
Start calling football "soccer", and start calling armored rugby "football"
Complain about mexicans, even if you have never seen one in person.
Start spiking your drinking water with sodium fluoride.
And finally, even though deep down you know your vote isn't even counted, put way too much emotional investment in the elections.
After that, the rest will come to you and you'll be an official burger.

>>688667624
Homeless scum love to shit in doorways.

>>688667652
Bam, this nigger's got it.

>>688667652
This is a good start, but OP will also need to forget anything they know about the rest of the world father than 50 miles from their house. They need at least one large American flag that they can display in utter ignorance of rules governing the handling of the flag. They need at least 3 guns, and at least one plastic nativity scene purchased at Walmart.

By consuming stockdss

File: download (6).jpg (5 KB, 204x204) Image search: [Google]

5 KB, 204x204

>>688667596
>Fellow Americans
>kilograms
>BBC
"Americans"

>>688667596
>I'm already on 150kg
For starters, don't use the metric system.

>>688669690
>he doesn't know what BBC means
lol what a cuck

>>688669690
bbc = big black cock, not british broadcasting corporation

>>688667598
>stop using the metric system
>america uses both but imperial is more common

kill yourself britbong

>>688667598
>using an inferior system

I never realized until just now how intrinsic flags have become to they way /pol/ works. This thread seems empty without them.

How do I become European? (I already think my shit doesn't stink, I'm American). But I'm not overweight, and I eat red meat and greens. I'll have to give my guns away, an give up peanut butter for that Nutella bullshit. But what else? I think the biggest transition is going to be bending over and taking a fucking from some middle-eastern people.

>>688667596
U sound like a lil bitch