>wake up
>see this
Wat do?
Slowly back up because those creatures are fucking crazy
Try to cuddle with it.
Relax because cassowaries are very pleasant to be around.
>>2070191
Part of me just wants to bury my face it its feathers and give it a huge hug.
The other part of me does not want to die.
>>2070191
Feed it bread crumbs. They just want to be your friend.
>>2070191
Given that that mofo is the closest thing to a velociraptor still rattling-around, I'd go with the "back off casso-warily and hope for the best"...
Call 911 and find something to use as a shield; that's a fucking raptor and you know it
they just want to cuddle
https://youtu.be/UUN7D1NnG44
>>2070191
Blink slowly, and try to walk inside. Clearly I have been drinking and ended up sleeping in a lawn chair in Australia.
Wonder how I went to bed at home and woke up outside on the other side of the world
try to find my phone to ask my friends what the fuck kind of party I went to that ended with me waking up in a lawn in New Guinea
Clever girl!
>>2070215
except for when they jump and kick and disembowel you with that giant claw
>>2070191
Kill and eat it obviously.
*unsheathes razor sharp toe nail*
>>2070575
Hi david
Establish dominance
hug her
>>2070191
Unzip your pants, be polite, close eyes, it will be over soon
Go back to sleep because I'm gonna die anyway.
>>2070191
>wake up
>see this
>get guts sliced open
>be dead
>>2070555
reminder that no recorded cases of this have occurred in the last 100 years. the only person known to have been killed by a cassowary was a teenager that tried to club one to death, tripped, and got kicked in the neck
>>2070977
Go pet one anon, show us how friendly they are
>>2070984
Hey, I didnt say they weren't vicious cunts. Just that they wont eviscerate you for being near it
>>2070191
>I would fry that chicken and eat it.
Wake my wife and tell her the bull has arrived.
>>2071008
just another day in Auscuckia
>>2070555
They're just kidding around. Take some time to get to know them. Invite them over to your house.
>>2071142
They seem pretty harmless desu senpai. I don't know what all the fuss is about.
http://youtu.be/W-xvBsaZex4
>>2071152
fucking kek
>>2070191
Get a rope and lasso that mother fucker and get ready to ride for a rodeo!
I come in peace
>>2070248
>Clearly I have been drinking and ended up sleeping in a lawn chair in Australia.
>go drinking
>end up on the other side of the world
That's... actually pretty impressive.
>>2070191
Christ look at the size of that spike on its foot
>>2071164
It looks like a living dinosaur.
>>2071470
it is.
>>2071470
Notice how the 'knee' bends backwards.
this is because birds have what we call a digitigrade stance.
the bones of the foot have fused into a single bone. The lower part of the leg is actually foot. This structure is called the metatarsus or cannon bone.
a cannon bone is found in ungualigrade animals such as horses and beeves and deers, but it's also one of the diagnostic characters of theropod dinosaurs.
the knee bending backwards is part of how we know that cassowaries are literally dinosaurs.
they have dinosaur legs because they descended from dinosaurs. They still are dinosaurs. Some of the most primitive dinosaurs still alive.
>>2070191
turn 360 degrees and walk away
>>2071465
>damn
Do they use it as a meat bird?
>>2070992
Do it anyway.
>>2070191
Ask the magic conch shell
Ask the magic conch shell
Enjoy death
>>2071152
very nice
>>2071473
>Some of the most primitive dinosaurs still alive.
I thought chickens were the closest living relatives of dinosaurs?
>>2071698
Birds are dinosaurs.
All birds are dinosaurs.
All dinosaurs are considered "stem" birds.
birds = dinosaurs.
>>2071473
>Some of the most primitive dinosaurs still alive
...kinda/maybe/not really?
Ducks and related waterfowl (ie the Anseriformes) are among the oldest known bird lineages, going back to the late cretaceous. Meanwhile, the paleognaths (the clade which includes cassowaries) don't show up until the cenozoic.
Given that flight is a basal ("primitive") trait for all living birds, this makes flightless birds more derived ("advanced") than other birds.
>>2071704
will you teach me things pls
>>2071707
what things?
>>2071704
>Birds are dinosaurs.
>All birds are dinosaurs.
I know that, but I read that chickens apparently have certain genes that are more similar to a tyrannousaurus' than those of other birds.
I get that all birds are descended from dinosaurs, but what I'm curious about is which living bird species are the MOST similar to their dinosaur ancestors.
>>2071460
How are the children after your wife left you.
pray
My emu could beat up your cassowary.
>>2071698
People just say that because they never think or know about the animals that are more closely related to them like cassowaries and emus.
>>2071152
Well done anon. My sides.
Mean assholes those birds are.
>>2071473
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4dcQO6Zb8Eg
clever girl
>>2071719
I think what you're looking for is whatever is descended directly from archaeopteryx. The finding of those fossils helped pave the way for linking modern birds and dinosaurs.
If you want to get into the thick of it, look up its related cladograms and see how far different species are from each other.
fucking run
>>2074153
>implying you can outrun a bird that's been clocked at 30mph
Nah nigga, just lie down and take it
>>2074158
No I'm the fastest in the land
>>2074160
>Starts Implying that you are fastest in land
>>2074193
>implyingly implying I can't outrun a bitchnigga dodo bird
>>2074103
>archaeopteryx
Isn't archaeopteryx not seen as very important anymore since they've found earlier /more avian feathered dinosaurs since its discovery?
>>2071507
uhhh try again...
>>2071460
..B-Birdperson??? ;_;
>>2070191
its a biological attack from australia finally all my preparation has come to fruition war is coming australia has made first blood
>>2070191
>unzip
>lube up
You don't do anything.
Your already dead
put it in a head lock from behind and strangle it to death
>>2070577
holy shit , doing the same thing , on my mac , with my dog on side , lurking this shit
>>2074307
Archaeopteryx is less of the "legendary urvogel" that it was once thought to be, and more of a "typical-to-the-point-of-being-boring small theropod."
Do nothing but witness by fate
>>2070191
can you domesticate these? they look rather tasty i might add. But also dangerous. I would not mind having a Cassowary guard bird.
>>2071152
nice one m80
>>2070191
>Wake Up
>Slow, but surely a faint sound is heard.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g_JEgwuo1oUv=D8zlUUrFK-M
>Your eyes are blinded by the slow morning light.
>A strange sound further makes you glance to the plains you are in.
>After a sudden moment, the earth rumbles as a faint howl is heard.
>You move your heard sideways while using your hand to cover your sight from the warm blinding sun.
>
>>2070191
beat it up before it beats me
>>2070215
>>2076703
lmao it's like a Pokemon. why are its legs coming out of its chin, it's like it's two evolutions away from its final form
