How to not talk all the time?
I say too much always. Doing it now. I don't like small talk, I don't give a fuck about what a good deal someone got on cantaloupes because they were going to buy honeydew but those didn't look very good but they still wanted melon so etc etc blah blah. That's so boring to me. I know that my shit is likewise boring to other people, and, worse, I tend to want to talk about serious things. When I do talk about personal things, I tend to overshare.
How do I stop doing this? Or more specifically: how do I stop WANTING to do this?
Years of crying in embarrassment after getting of the phone or getting home from gatherings hasn't really done it. I don't understand why people bother interacting if it's just going to be shallow impersonal crap. I don't need to. I wish that anger and frustration translated into not talking to people. Maybe it will eventually, but I'm tired of waiting.
>>17167630
Try to say whatever you want to say in your head before you say it out loud. The full sentence. Then think about how the person you're talking to is going to respond to that. If the response is going to be something like "oh.", or if you say it in your head and it sounds fucking dumb, then don't say it out loud.
You probably have to just slow down and think about whether the thing you're going to say is worth it. Just take it slow and think before you spew meaningless faff all over somebody.
Before talking, think about wether what you are saying contributes anything to the conversation or wants to be heard.
Also, That pic always bothered me when growing up. I wasn't raised properly and I only caught on pretty late when everyone would give me weird looks when I started telling them how I wasn't feeling great and being kind of open to everyone about my problens because I thought they were asking honestly. Still bothers me because I still think people are really cold.
>>17167644
>>17167651
I'm not arguing that these aren't good bits of advice, and thanks. Really planning what to say would help me a lot.
It's just kinda tough because if I think about it there isn't much that IS worth saying. I've maybe had 5-8 conversations in my life that I felt really engaged in. It's kinda easy for me to go on and on when the other person's speech seems equally fucking stupid to me. I get that I'm the one in the wrong, but man...conversation is generally pretty shit. Wish I just didn't have the urge to have it.
>>17167672
become entertaining. if you have a decent level of empathy you can read the second you're boring someone in a conversation. even if they're a boring fucking person you don't have to be. switch gears in the convo.
also... just stop talking to boring AF people. family functions are made to suffer through.
>>17167672
Conversation happens naturally. Let's say you are both interested in movies or games and you find a particular title you like. You will start giving your opinions and experiences because they are interesting to the other party because the subject is.
Anything else is small talk and it's only filler. You aren't meant to take it seriously and shouldn't try looking for things to say. Just say what needs to be said abd that's it.
By filtering your thoughts, you become a robotic bore.
>>17167721
By not filtering them I'm an overzealous person with no sense of humor...
