Please give me some advice, I'm desperate. This is my girlfriend, I've been with her for about 3 years. She use to be so sweet and loving but now she is insecure, slightly bitter and depressed. She has no one else but me, really. We moved in together 6 months ago and it has been a rough emotional rollercoaster, I love her and care about her but I can't be with her anymore I think it is unhealthy for both of us..how do I break up with her gently?
Tell her how you feel maybe. If she gets mad then definitely break it off. If not, maybe stick with her and see if it gets better. After all, you've been with her for 3 years
As much as we don't like to admit it, relationships are about give and take, and there is only so much a human can take.
At the end of the day you have to decide for yourself what is more important, her happiness (or lack thereof), or yours. Neither choice is incorrect. If she does anything as a result of you leaving her, it isn't your fault because she's become overdependant on you.
There is no way of breaking it off easily. I would perhaps consider voicing your feelings and having a proper discussion about it instead of just leaving flat out.
This happens time and time again. You can be a martyr, but why not move on and find somebody that loves you and themselves?
>>17158712
the 'best' way to break up with her is to have a plan for you, and have a plan for her. this may coincide with the end of a lease. but the best you can do is
>have a place for you to go and/or have a place for her to go
>plan for her to be out of town for a day, if not a whole weekend
>use her out of town time to get your stuff, and move out
>pick her up from wherever she is, take her to the shared house, and tell her you are moving out, already got your stuff, and cannot be with her anymore
if its your apartment you could stay and simply pack her stuff and bring it to her family. context is key here.
>>17158712
Some background:
>Currently 19
>She goes to school and it's too late for her to get a dorm there next semester
>Don't find her very attractive anymore
>Feel empty when I'm with her
>Feel guilty everytime I say I love you
>She admits she feels like shit all the time
>Has problems with her mom, will most likely have to move in with her after the breakup
>>17158742
unfortunately you cannot hold yourself responsible for everything thats going to happen. you can try and grease the wheels to make it easier for her. but you cant offer anything more than say. 1 month assistance of living in the apartment without you.
if you want a 'clean' break, then oyu gotta have a break up plan like:
>>17158738
and hope she rolls with it. if she doesn't you gotta stick by your guns.
OR you can just talk to her, and hope that you two come up with a good break up plan, but you may be left with the bill of the apartment or whatever. its hard to say.
>>17158734
I will plan to have a heart to heart with her tonight after work..
I think she knows it's coming but I definitely do not want to be harsh, and or abrupt. Thanks for the input man I really appreciate it..
>>17158742
I'm
>>17158732
Sounds like you don't love her anymore, so disregard my advice. The other two gave better
>>17158748
I plan on talking to her tonight, but not to try to fix us again. I want us to have a break up plan where I let her stay at my apartment for as long as she needs to move out but I need to be firm I guess. Hopefully she doesn't beg me to stay with her. That would kill me. I wish she would leave me instead for somebody else, even. I just want her to be happy, that's all I've ever wanted, even at my expense.
