>>17100345

>just average overweight guy

Eat better, eat less, and exercise more. Care about your appearance. It's not even shallow, it doesn't make these girls shallow. It says a lot about you if you have the discipline and work ethic to take care of your body, and it says a lot about you if you don't.

>>17100352
have been for years. from 400ish lbs when i was 20 i'm down to around 260lbs now and still losing. regular activities (biking, fishing, shooting, jogging/walking) as well. i do have some thick hair that gets greasy easily, but i just shower twice a day, easy enough. my clothes are simple and i groom and shave like anyone else.

do you think that i'm not dateable as a work in progress and should just hermitize until i'm fitter?

>>17100345
>i'm not hideous, i'm also no Adonis. maybe a 4 or 5 - just average overweight guy.
This stands out to me. If this is how you present yourself, that may be why you aren't seeing a lot of success. I mean, I understand that these aren't the words you use to describe yourself to a potential date, but it's pretty clear that you don't think very highly of yourself, and that's something that can be a real turnoff. "Chicks dig confidence" is an overused aphorism, but it's true.

I also understand that you can't just will yourself to be more confident. So my advice to you is this: Instead of talking about yourself, talk about the things that you're passionate about (this is, in many ways, the same thing, but if you can't be enthusiastic about yourself, at least show her what DOES make you enthusiastic). The image you posted look like floor plans - are you interested in architecture? What do you do in your spare time? What do you look forward to when you're working or commuting? Talk about that. Even if it's an interest that you don't think your potential date will share, you need to show her what you look and sound like when you're passionate.

>>17100365

No mate, don't hermitize, just keep up the good work. Keep trying, keep meeting people in the meantime. It's entirely possible you'll get a relationship while you're still overweight, it's just that your chances only get better as your appearance/fitness improves.

>>17100423
i work in the defense indutry. that specific image is the receiver for a suppressed rifle. i understand what you mean about "be more confident" and obviously i focus more on my abilities, skills, and talents than how i look.

older versions of my profile online had stuff i was passionate about (politics, engineering, cooking, hunting/fishing, et c) but that never really helped me that i'm aware of. eventually i took that stuff off as a lot of women have said my profile is too wordy or too complex.

perhaps i'm boring - i look forward to working since i like my job. commuting is just commuting (an hour each way). at home i mostly just rest up and maybe go out and do what i enjoy. listing that or showing pics of that hasn't helped that i've noticed. the couple times i've invited women out with me, they either flake or aren't interested in doing anything or even just talking.

>>17100452
10 years man. or to be accurate, 10 years with a few dead end dates and one night stands. had one solid GF that entire time for about a year before it soured, and that was 3 years ago. nothing since then but one date where i don't even get a phone call answered asking for another one.

>>17100477
>eventually i took that stuff off as a lot of women have said my profile is too wordy or too complex.
like i still mention it in there, but it's in a sentence and not spelling everything out. i left out just mindlessly listing stuff too, and mentioned a few genres and examples within that genre (for movies, music, hobbies, et c).

i did do a full disclosure on stuff like education and preferred pets and stuff - maybe that's too much info too?

>>17100473

>10 years man. or to be accurate, 10 years with a few dead end dates and one night stands. had one solid GF that entire time for about a year before it soured, and that was 3 years ago. nothing since then but one date where i don't even get a phone call answered asking for another one.

This is the hard part, but: Don't let it make you bitter. Look man, pretty much everyone has physical standards for a potential partner, as well as personality/lifestyle standards. That isn't wrong. So if you've spent 10 years in the 250-400-pound range, then yeah, that's a major barrier for you. A lot of girls just won't be attracted to that kind of body, the same way most guys would reject a woman of the same weight.

You're on the right track. You don't SOUND bitter in the same way a lot of 4channers do. Just keep working at it. Losing 140 pounds is a huge accomplishment and you should be proud, but no offense, 260 is still big. You're not quite there yet.

>>17100452
gotta say too, that i get hardly any messages, have never been approached, and i'm pretty sure i've exhausted my circle of friend's singles list, or at least the ones they're willing to introduce me to. i attended a few parties here and there and while i've met some women, they were taken or uninterested. couple even immediately said they weren't interested before i said anything.

>>17100491
yeah, i figured it was mostly weight related - to plain or an unconscious uggo or still too fat to be attractive much. dealing with ugly loose skin and all kinds of bullshit from the weight loss is pretty unattractive too, despite being overall an improvement.

i could try surgery or some kind of crash diet i guess.

>>17100505
>i could try surgery or some kind of crash diet i guess
actually i think i'm going to schedule some dentistry and a nutritionist visit. i've mostly been seeing a GP but a dedicated nutritionist is probably a better bet... i've been leery of doing the subscription gym membership thing but maybe that's worth while to for a fitness instructor.

guess my weekend got a whole lot shorter lol

>>17100559

Yeah a nutritionist could be very helpful. I definitely wouldn't recommend liposuction if that's what you mean by "surgery," because if you don't change your diet you'll just gain the weight back.

For real though, healthy weight loss is pretty simple, it just takes discipline, and that's harder than it sounds. You're basically kicking an addiction here, and it's just as difficult as heroin or nicotine. And in the same way, if you DON'T find a way to control yourself, your addiction will kill you.

Take it one step at a time. The first enemy is sugar. Cut the sugary drinks first. Soda, juice, Gatorade, energy drinks, etc - these all have to go. Drink water instead. This, alone, makes a big difference.

Next, start cutting out the sweets. Candy, cookies, ice cream, etc. Don't try to go cold turkey right away, especially if you're doing a good job avoiding the sugar drinks, just limit yourself. One treat a day, then one every two days, and so on.

>>17100815

continued:

Cutting down your sugar intake is a big deal, and it makes a HUGE difference in your health, both present-day and most importantly the future. But it's going to be tough. You're basically going to go through withdrawal symptoms. You'll be sluggish and tired at first, it'll affect your mood, you'll have cravings, most people will kind of relapse and binge sometimes. Don't get discouraged if this happens, just get yourself back on track. You'll start to notice that when you DO eat something sugary, it really fucks you up. The "crash" is much more pronounced when you're not giving yourself a steady dosage anymore.

The next step is to start replacing breads and starches with vegetables. You don't have to have a completely carb-free diet, just avoid things like chips and french fries, and try to have more whole grains than refined grains. And control your portions. A small bowl of oatmeal or cereal with breakfast, maybe a sandwich at lunch, and some brown rice, potatoes or sweet potatoes with dinner, and that should be all the starch you have in a normal day. Besides that, it should be vegetables, meat, and fruit.

>>17100848
Not him at all, but I have a serious question (asking for a friend):

Say someone had been living with their shit eating habits for 14 years and somehow, suddenly, he wants to stop.

How intense would the withdrawal be? We're talking about a guy who ate chips, cookies, pizza, ice cream, soda and such his entire life.

>>17100881

It's different for everyone. Personally I found it very similar to quitting cigarettes.

>>17100881
>>17100942

To build on that, though: Unlike cigarettes, I wouldn't recommend that you "suddenly stop" because it won't last. Taper off the sugar, taper off the starches/increase vegetables, reduce portion size, in that order.

>>17100942
>>17100949
I see. But don't cigarette people slowly taper off tobacco as well? I don't know, cold turkey seemed to have fucked them up as well.

But anyway, I'll tell my buddy this.

I didn't know cig withdrawal was so severe after googling. It's massive rage mixed with the flu topped off with depression, and that's just the abriged description.

>>17100967

http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/food-and-drink/features/what-happens-to-your-body-when-you-give-up-sugar-10081689.html