Fear of Romance
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
>made this thread yesterday
>told to go to therapy
>found out i cannot afford it
Well then I guess I'll try again.
I think I might have a serious deep-rooted fear when it comes to relationships, sex, and women.
Although I have the common anxiety issues, I don't have problems with self-esteem (I think) and do well in public speaking. I'm fairly fit, and have been called attractive multiple times. I fit in pretty well socially (exceptional amongst guys) and in groups I tend to be one of the funniest and active.
However, I can't really grasp the concept of me being romantic or sexual with women, like it is something that is completely taboo. I mean I've had many girls show pretty heavy interest in me but I always become avoidant, pretend to be oblivious and cold when it happens. I've even had dreams in which I end up cucking my own self from ready and willing partners, basically Ive never had a real wet-dream. Even just touching them accidentally makes me jump and pull back as if I hit them with a bat or something.
Consequently, I have no understanding of how relationships, boundaries (as anything outside of a handshake feels like I'm trespassing), and flirtatious communication work.
I'm not entirely sure what is wrong with me or if this is result of bullying or whatever but if anybody can offer insight or help please reply.
>>16997934
i guess you are scared of getting your heart broken?
are you scared to open up to other people?
>>16997972
>i guess you are scared of getting your heart broken?
Possibly, but I have no clue what that kind of experience is like or what it fully entails.
are you scared to open up to other people?
Please elaborate on this, I've never really understood what classifies as "opening up". Ive been very passionate when discussing things I care about with people, but if you are referring to telling others insecurities and my own vulnerabilities, it has never happened.
>>16997934
Neat, I have this too.
I have no idea why, but it's annoying. I've sort of just given up on pursuing romance as a result, but if anyone has alternative ideas, that'd be cool too I guess.
>>16997972
Fear probably is the root cause of this somehow, but I don't think it's fear of being broken or manipulated o whatever by opening up to people or anything along those lines.
If anything it's probably related to fear of extending beyond social norms or something, but I can't tie it down specifically enough to do something about it.
>>16998030
>Fear probably is the root cause of this somehow, but I don't think it's fear of being broken or manipulated o whatever by opening up to people or anything along those lines.
If anything it's probably related to fear of extending beyond social norms or something, but I can't tie it down specifically enough to do something about it.
This is very similar to what I think I was trying to convey. Now that I think of it I doubt Im afraid of heartbreak or being used, it feels like it is more of a foggy retained sense that it is "improper", "rude", or "impolite" to let a woman know of my feelings towards them.
I think I also have this fear that society will reject or ridicule me if I ever try to become romantic. How this attitude came about I have no clue.
It might just be an overblown fear of rejection. I dont know.
>>16997934
you cant empathize with or comprehend the pleb mind of the average girl. On top of that, you've been single for so long the idea of having a girlfriend is like anime or science fiction now (possible even fantasy). It so far out of your realm you wonder how it could ever be a reality in your life.
What I learned, don't settle for 95% of women, who mentally, just don't click with men. If your so lucky to find a girl you can have a normal, intelligent conversation with , and isnt taken??? Then maybe that will be your time.
To me it seems like a fantasy as ive described, but i've had moments or days with girls recently (all taken sadly) where I could tell I'd be able to handle a relationship with them.
All is not lost friendo
Nobody has any advice of what I could do before I am able to go to therapy?
