>>16987565
Yeah this is common. You put her on a pedestal all this time, hoping for the chance to be with her. But now that you got her, the reality has set in and you see that she's a real person just like anyone else. She's got flaws, contrary to the perfect ideal you had conjured in your head.

So, you can either spare yourselves the trouble, break up, and attempt to salvage the friendship (even though that's really awkward and most likely won't work out) or you can realize that nobody is perfect and see if that makes a difference.

>>16987565
>I start dreading our time together
>Every minor display of affection makes my stomach drop
Going to have to expand on this, OP
What exactly is wrong, is it that you discovered you really, really don't actually like her? Are you excessively worried/anxious about fucking it up? Do you not know how to express your deep affection? What's the problem?

>>16987586
I see. Never thought about it that way, actually. Thanks for replying, I'll consider my options carefully.
>>16987626
>What exactly is wrong, is it that you discovered you really, really don't actually like her? Are you excessively worried/anxious about fucking it up? Do you not know how to express your deep affection? What's the problem?
I wish I could tell for sure. I do like her, but everything affectionate between us just sounds... wrong, I don't know. Every time she says something sweet/romantic my chest tightens but not in a good way, and now every time she invites me to come over to her house I sigh as if I'm going to have to fulfill some sort of terrible obligation.

But I AM also excessively anxious about fucking it up though, at all times. Maybe that's got something to do with it... Whatever the case, it seriously makes me wonder if I should just run away and end it so I'll at least stop feeling so bad

>>16987706
>I wish I could tell for sure
>everything affectionate between us just sounds... wrong, I don't know
>Every time she says something sweet/romantic my chest tightens but not in a good way
>every time she invites me to come over to her house I sigh as if I'm going to have to fulfill some sort of terrible obligation.
>But I AM also excessively anxious about fucking it up though, at all times.
Seems a lot like anxious and avoidant issues to me, anon. This:
>>it seriously makes me wonder if I should just run away and end it so I'll at least stop feeling so bad
is exactly what avoidant thoughts and feelings tempt people to do. In fact, that's why it called "avoidance": the anxious end up avoiding other people to avoid the pain. Don't give in, it will not help, and will probably make you even more miserable.

If this is really the case, it's not that you don't like her, and it probably won't be any better with another girl, so i'd suggest not screwing up this relationship. You need to recognize and understand the issues and start to work through them.

Next step depends on whether you want to go see a therapist. They're the professionals when it comes to dealing with this shit, CBT and other approaches were practically invented to help attack these problems. This will be the fastest and easiest way to fix it, and you'll gain skills that will help throughout your life (eg you'll be able to much more easily understand what you're actually feeling and what it means, rather than being confused like this and having to guess what to do).

Note that this doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you or that you have a disorder or anything, just that what you're describing is hard to fix by yourself and much easier for a pro. Like certain engine problems, save yourself some time and energy and take it to a mechanic.

>>16987863
Well shit, it kind of starts sounding obvious once someone points it out, huh...
I have actually thought about visiting a therapist before so I think it's definitely worth giving a try in order not to screw up something that was supposed to be great. Let me just say that I really appreciate your answer, anon. Thanks.