Why do parents forgive one sibling for everything, and the other for nothing?
>Be relatively affluent family, given every opportunity, father and mother somehow fluked being pretty well off despite lack of college degrees or significant holdings/estates etc
>Mum and Dad love sports, outdoors etc, my Dad always wanted to be a sports star
>Younger brother is football prodigy
>Basically my childhood is my Dad hanging out with my bro and buying me a PC because I suck at sports
>After school my brother does not become Maradona, Dad starts drinking religiously
>Best he can get is a low tier club because politics basically, not his fault
>Decides to stop playing football, and get a normal job. Dad resents this and gives him never ending shit for being a failure. Even though it was a decent enough job and paid fairly okay.
>Brother fucks up job because basically our Dad has taught him nothing but sports his entire life. Fucked up by basically telling his boss the truth and not being a yes man, when he really needed to be a yes man.
>Brother starts drinking and dealing drugs. Dad's response is to drink more and take jabs at him.
>Whole situation comes to a head when the police get a warrant to search our house for drugs. Dad is fucking full drunk mode when police show up, mother in tears. I end up having to convince the police there was nothing else in the house and it wasn't worth their time tearing the place apart.
>Brother leaves country to go to the US, because he needs help. Family there. /1
Here's some advice: type out long posts beforehand
Because parents are just people too. Fully capable of being shitty, hypocritical, playing favorites, etc.
>>16924163
>I'm personally struggling having been through a number of dead end jobs. Friends desert me largely because I can't afford ski trips and I'm not in their line of work.
>They come over to my house when they're not busy, we never go out anymore. Laugh at my drunk Dad who's comatose then they spend the evening more or less talking between themselves. There's more to this but basically I'm ostracized and despite having near perfect lives they just have better things to do than hang out with me. Pretty soon they just stop coming over and just send texts now. No real reason given other than "oh yeh busy with x that day"
>Decide I obviously need to do college, whatever belief I had inherited before of not needing it was clearly fucking massively wrong. Ask my Mum if she can support me through it. Her father's estate is pretty big, she also pays most of the bills. As long as you apply yourself was her only condition. I said no problem, my only condition was that Dad wouldn't fuck with me and undermine it. (final year in a BScH now). Friends still say their busy every weekend but I'm making new ones in college and the places that takes me.
>Meanwhile parents sink $20,000+ into brother's 2 year business diploma which he fucks up. He completes one year then bails.
>#ohwell, gets married. Get's unreal job given to him by family in the US and is making probably more than I'll ever make in my home country.
>Final year of college, parents tell me I must sell my bike that I've had for 5 years for the measly $2000 it'd net me to cover my college costs. Meanwhile vast amounts of money is being spent on my brother's wedding ceremony which is in some exotic island. So the plane tickets alone will cost $800 return.
Why?
Why am I fucked at every turn? I'm not saying I'm a saint or deserving of much, but at least I try. I try so hard and it gets me nowhere, while some people simply by being themselves get everything handed to them on a silver platter..
>>16924231
Guy who lost his family years ago in an accident here. I tried adopting relatives and friends as family which fucked me over much more than you'll be, you have no idea. Lesson i learned; Stop depending on others. People are shit, Shit people in your family are exceptionally shit. Get your own shit together, move out, stop depending on them and wondering why they're like that. They just are. Life's unfair, some people like to make it worse, we stay away from those people and build our own luck. Your brother is a failure at heart and will always be. Someone handing him successes in a silver platter won't stop his natural predisposition to failure. Eventually it'll come out, he'll hit the deep low again, and that'll be it because he's a spoiler boy.
Now you, you say you're hardworking, you even seem so. Latch onto it. Hard working and dedication outclasses any natural talents and favoritism. Keep building your career, stop depending on your family and most importantly, looking for their approvation(i'll say this in caps lock because this is the MOST important aspect; i lost most of my shit because i looked for people's/relatives approvation, so; DON'T LOOK FOR OTHER PEOPLE'S/FAMILY APPROVATION. DON'T VALIDATE YOURSELF BASED ON OTHERS. DO YOUR OWN THING, BUILD YOUR OWN LIFE.)
Your parents are shit? So be it. Forget about them. Welcome to life, enjoy your stay.
>>16924203
Yeh you're actually right, it's just amazingly difficult to come to terms with when basically for most of my life I just assumed they weren't steering the ship into a massive storm that I'm now in the center of.
>>16924313
I have one more year to go in college and then basically I can get a career job going then move out if I wanted. I've put away 3 years now, just one more to go.
They're talking about moving everyone to the US which I'm not that interested in because well.. I like my country and all my friends/people I know are here. I've also served so, not that I fought but I believe in the country.
They're looking at it as a comfy retirement for them, and they get to be close to my brother and family there.
You're actually right though, once I have this degree done next year and I have something sorted I need to stand on my own. Realistically they will continue to behave the same way regardless of what I do.
Thanks
