Alright, here is what's up: are my parents controlling? I'm 21 years old.
My girlfriend was thinking that me moving to her apartment (which she'll be getting in a bit), would be an awesome idea, but then I was concerned about moving over. My parents would never accept me moving to her house.
My girlfriend and several of my college and high school friends have been telling me since forever that my parents are controlling and manipulative.
It's hard for me to go out several times a week as I don't have a well paying job (work as a tutor 5 hours a week, 7.50/hr) and a car to afford it. My parents refuse to give me money, and I can't borrow their car. Basically the only way I can go to anything anywhere is through public transportation which is an hour away from me walking in a pedestrian unfriendly area. (Literally no sidewalks, only cars). They won't let me get a student loan to buy my own stuff, so it's rough.
They've all told me they treat me like a kid, and my curfew is really strict. Whenever I hang out with friends I have to leave halfway through because they won't pick me up. My girlfriend, who's 18, goes to parties that far exceed my curfew, and they always pick her up, no questions asked.
They're a lot less strict than they used to be thanks to a visit to the psychologist back when I was 13, and they loosened up a little since. But only a little.
Sorry if I'm rambling, I really love my family, but I feel like I'm being tied down, now thinking about it. They're definitely not helicopter parents, but they're not exactly flexible. My self esteem is trash, and I can't confront them. Every time I do, I get scolded and I don't even know what to do. I have no transportation, so getting a job from where I live is nigh impossible. I also feel bad about leaving my family as it is right now...
It's hard for me to describe everything else, so if you want to know more just reply back.
>>16916868
>are my parents controlling? I'm 21 years old.
You are far too old for this to be an issue.
You are a grown man who still has a curfew and gets scolded by his parents. Its fucking sad.
When I was 18 I moved out of my house, crashed on a couch I found on craigslist until I got a shitty job at a tattoo shop and scraped and pounded the pavement every single day until I could afford a place of my own and now I own a car, my own apartment and a successful business.
The only person standing in the way of you moving out of your parents is you. You can come up with all the excuses you want but if you actually wanted to get out from underneath your parents thumb you would of.
It wouldn't be easy, but you could do it.
>They won't let me get a student loan to buy my own stuff
Like this, right here. You're a grown fucking man, dude. They don't LET you? You need to nut the fuck up and start making adult decisions about your life.
Maybe they still treat you like a child because you insist upon still acting like one.
If moving in with your girlfriend is what you have to do to move on with your life you fucking do it. No more excuses. If you don't like your life, you change it. Now.
>>16916913
Fuck, you're right. It's daunting, but it is something I have to consider. My tuition is being paid by my parents, and I'm currently missing two more years before I graduate, so that'll be rough to do. I have to be able to do it somehow, though. You're right.
It's just rough. They question everything I do. But even then, I feel like I can't let go. Fuck, this really sucks. My college has a free psych clinic, so I'm going there for advice also.
If your girlfriend is offering you a place to crash, by all means take it. If your parents 'won't let you get a student loan,' you need to disentangle yourself from them fast. At your age, they should not be involved with your finances at all.
>>16916938
They flatout don't. They don't want me to be full of debt after I graduate so I don't ruin my life. Which I'm totally aware of, it's a concern they have, but the place where I live in is actually really cheap compared to US universities (about 1.5k a year), so it's a grain of sand in the desert.
They have good intentions and love me, but it's getting annoying, especially when I can't get any internships or jobs at all because you need transportation. How else can I go anywhere without their consent? A lot of these jobs are 9 to 5 type jobs, they'll never approve of taking me there every day.
