Everything I say comes out confrontational/uninterested? Hard

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Anonymous
Everything I say comes out confrontational/uninterested? Hard to flirt with women? 2016-03-13 06:43:10 Post No. 16909991
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Everything I say comes out confrontational/uninterested? Hard to flirt with women? Anonymous 2016-03-13 06:43:10 Post No. 16909991 [Report]

Once I got to college, I've had a decent amount of women flirt with me. Some have told me I'm cute, others have flat out told me they were into me.

I can't carry a conversation though.
>Not nervous
>Not shy
It's just that anything I say, the way I phrase it comes off extremely confrontational or uninterested. And I don't know how to fix it. I only really speak when spoken to or in a interesting conversation when it comes to strangers. Like I said, I'm not shy, but if I have nothing to say, I don't bother saying it.

>Concert a few nights ago
Random girl came up to me before the main show started, and asked me if I was a girl, what shirt I'd buy
>Well I don't know. I'm not a girl, I've never thought about it too much *laughs*
Oh
>I'd probably go for that one, the one with the blue and pink
(jokingly saying) Are you just saying the pink one because I'm a girl?
>No, I'm saying the pink and blue because I think it looks good.

We finally got on a good conversation, she offered me a few beers, we talked throughout the show and I had a good time. While I felt we had a pleasant interaction, I imagine she might have felt awkward about it, despite her outgoing mannerisms towards me (Brushing up against me, smiling, etc) Because the conversation would die at points but she kept trying to get me to talk.

I really wish I had more to say, but I just never think of it in the moment. I only think of stuff after the fact and then kick myself for not thinking of it at the time.

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Anonymous 2016-03-13 07:09:35 Post No.16910058
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Anonymous 2016-03-13 07:09:35 Post No.16910058 [Report]

>>16909991
>I only really speak when spoken to or in a interesting conversation when it comes to strangers.
what's going through your mind when you're listening to the other person though? are you thinking about what they're saying or are you thinking about what you want to say next?

usually when I can't think of anything to say, I will try to think back to something the person said earlier in the conversation and ask them more about it. even if it's something I'm only mildly interested in, and even if it's a super general question like "so you mentioned you do yoga, how long have you been doing it" or "what type" or something like that. just to get the ball rolling again.

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Anonymous 2016-03-13 07:17:56 Post No.16910083
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Anonymous 2016-03-13 07:17:56 Post No.16910083 [Report]

>>16910058
I asked her about her going into nursing, and her thinking about going back to college for it (She's 25, I'm 19, we even talked about the age difference too). Be both went back and forth talking about stuff. I was mainly asking about her though, about if she was just here for the venue because she's local, or if she came here for the headlining band. She kept trying to get the ball rolling in the conversation.