im not that ugly, im not that loser, but I feel I can't make a connection with people of the opposite sex and I think this shit isn't worth it all
I want to end it all the easiest and painless way possible.
Advice, please
End it all as in killing yourself or ending it all as in solving a common problem faced by billions of people around the world?
>>16909478
Wait so lets analyse your post.
>I feel I can't make a connection with people of the opposite sex
Which you identify as a problem but then...
>I think this shit isn't worth it all
Implying that literally think its not worth it (for what reason?) or dont care at all.
Then if you have identified it like that or, in the other case, dont really care about the opposite sex then why
>I want to end it all the easiest and painless way possible.
Which implies the contrary of what you are trying to convey with your message.
That you actually care and feel the pain of not being, as you call it, able of making a connection.
Instead of us telling you how to kill yourself (at least not yet) why dont you provide any more details so we can delve more into your situation and find the source of the problem because, believe or not, there is a source and it can be found through human ingenuity and a carefully performed analysis.
>>16909478
Quit being a sad piece of shit, take a couple of shots of the cheapest liquor you got, walk up to some lonely looking hot POA at a bar or party and be a douche.
Fuck that ho, leave her and bang a rail of white lightning off the toilet seat of the nearest buffalo wild wings bathroom stall.
Tear off your shirt and affirm to the stars that you are ALIVE
FUCK anyone who tells you that you can't be happy, including yourself
Also, props for posting best girl
Don't give up anon. It's tough being a guy. You can be the coolest dude ever but you still have to work your ass off to get that sweet pussy.
Girls don't have to do shit for sex or even companionship. There's always pathetic guys willing to bend over backwards for even the ugliest chick
That's just the way it is, man. Don't make it a pity party and own up to your responsibilities as a man
>>16909490
It's all about being a dick with a sense of humor and knowing when to get mildly physical
I'm serious, do that and you're 90% of the way there, timing is key but shit's simple
>>16909478
How have you tried making a connection to girls? Sitting around in public looking as miserable as possible hoping a qt will ask you what's wrong?
For that matter, are you generally able to make a connection with guys? Do you only complain about girls, when in reality it is a connection to people in general that is your problem?
It's rare, very rare, to be totally fine with dudes and make friends with them easily, but be the total opposite with women. And by rare, I mean I've never heard of it.
Hey, OP here
Three, four years ago, something broke inside me and I can't get laid anymore.
I'm not funny, I'm not clever, and I'm sick of this depression shit everyone have in their mouth.
Im kinda broken.
Laugh if you want
>>16909548
>something broke inside
What was it OP?
>>16909548
Aren't we all OP, aren't we all.
Life can be so hard. It really is a battle.
But it doesn't sound like you're going to find what you're looking for in people.
If I were you I'd try literature, music, art and other abstract expression to try and shock your system and your mind to find your muse again, your inspiration, relight that fire that was stifled inside of you.
>>16909527
>It's rare, very rare, to be totally fine with dudes and make friends with them easily
Not OP, but as circumstances are, it's easier to to find the right dudes than the right girls.
When you have certain interests, you naturally, as a consequence of trying to live your life to the best of your abilities, end up with other people with similar interests.
I've met most of my male friends by chance, but i have never met a girl by chance. To meet a girl i've always had to be a tryhard, and even then, i've ended up with weirdo girls who didn't understand me quite like my friends.
I've never had a relationship which lasted beyond a month after we met in person.
>>16909478
>make a connection with the opposite sex
>I just wanna get laid
>but I can't, so I'll an hero
Sex and love and marriage is not the end-all, be-all of life. Important? Yes. Life-threatening without it? No.
Learn to live your own life, develop yourself, your goals, your dreams and ambitions and take yourself somewhere. Usually when people are confident and doing what they want in life to achieve their dreams, people will gather around, friends and acquaintances and flings and romance.
There's way worse things that could be going on besides being lonely.
>>16909575
The thing is though, that the only thing you will leave behind when you're dead and the only people who will appreciate your striving is most likely your kids if you're an average person.
OP here
I just feel like since 3, 4 years ago, people of the opposite sex act like aliens: I just wanna be understood, loved, but something as simple as that feels like an impossible event
And I don't know why. That has been making me frustrated, anxious, more each and each day and I don't know how to feel about it.
I feel isolated. Alone.
>>16909572
Yeah, weirdo girls are all you rate, and women don't think like men anyway. Just fuck the hole.
>>16909649
Its the second time that you mention that number. 4 years ago. What really happened 3 or 4 years ago that made you feel this way?
What I mean by this is, did some type of tragedy occured?
Or did the tragedy came up from within, making you realize and see things you couldnt see before?
The root of things matters anon.
>And I don't know why
I want to take emphasis on this phrase of yours.
Because, you see, I am the type of person that when read it my mind interprets it this way:
''I have a problem. Even tho I identified the problem and are aware of it I am unable to understand why this problem is happening''
You see, it just doesnt click. Maybe because my personal experience dictates that, most of the times when I had a problem of any nature I actually knew why it was happening. You see I was aware, but that didnt kept me from looking for peoples insight on it, which would end in me depositing all of my attention on their ''Why's...'' of my situation.
In other words. I think you know why, and I want to know it.
>I feel isolated. Alone
Do you have any friends?
On top of that, any recent attempts on trying to get with a girl?
Lol same, I just laugh at this because I have thought over and over to end my life because of the disdain and despair in my life and then why I shouldn't, and let me tell ya, it is a vicious cycle and all I have done is decide that I won't kill myself. At least not in my 20s or 30s or hell maybe even my 40s if I find something worth living for. Don't end it yet tho, think about playing vidya if you will, would you just kill your character when you can't seem to continue on? No you do crazy shit and things you would not have done because fuck it, it's not like it matter anymore. You see a little more fun and a little more worth living for, so what do you think?
>>16909695
Not op, but what if my problem is that I'm naturally a shy person? What do I do? I can't just turn into a completely new person. Or can I?
This problem has to do with girls and guys. My shyness doesn't allow me to connect with anyone.
>>16909695
I broke up with a girl, the kind of abusive gal who makes you become another person and when she leaves you makes you feel all devastated like a hurricane just came by your home
The thing I broke up with her two times, and the third time was her the one who broke up with me.
And not in a natural way, we kind of meet just to fuck up and hang up together and she used me to deatach from me for once and for all. I mean, we fucked the first night, and the second one she was more interested of playing Candy Crush and chat with other guys than make things with me even being in her home...
From that point I am no longer myself.
You have to add to that the fact that I'm 24, I'm in a range of age where getting girls is almost impossible because they are interested in older guys and without job or money you are pretty much fucked...
Actually my point is, I've become another person. I've always been the funny, interesting type of guy, and with all the rage, the frustration and the fear, I'm not that guy anymore.
And it's like running up a hill. Every time I cheer myself up and I give myself an opportunity, I screw up.
Some girls are interested in me but suddenly my recently adquired anxiety kicks in and I screw up everything. They leave.
Since 3, 4 years ago, I'm stuck in that pattern. And doesn't seem to change.
I got back to studying and I have a somewhat kind of mid-term objectives, but they seem so far away and my frustration is killing me.
I have one (1) close friend, the other ones are the casual people you meet when you go out and I find them pretty hostile, I mean, I know they are not my friends, they just want to hang out and drink and stuff.
>>16909763
>I'm in a range of age where getting girls is almost impossible because they are interested in older guys and without job or money you are pretty much fucked
A generalization is, doesnt matter how true it may sound, still a generalization.
By this I mean that, obviously, not all girls are into older guys. So you being 24 doesn't seem to be a problem.
I am inclined to believe that you and I both know that this is in no way a limitation (job / money)
Whichever way you put it, I dont see how this couldnt be fixed. So we should move onto other things.
>I've become another person.
In the sense thats its difficult for you to trust women because of your past experiences?
Do you think you have become the kind of person whos unable to be reached on a emotional level?
>fear
Tell me about your fear, anon.
Fear of living a life of solitude?
>And it's like running up a hill. Every time I cheer myself up and I give myself an opportunity, I screw up
Do you think you are addicted to the way things are? Kind of like the people who are losers get addicted to ''being losers'' because they have convinced themselves that theres no way out?
>I screw up everything
Second time you mention this in your post. I am inclined to believe that you may have a situation you could share so you can shed some light on your case.
Pretty vague anon. We need the root of all problems. What exactly are you doing that is making these girls leave you?
What are your feelings towards this girl you mentioned, 4 years later?
>>16909815
Anger.
These are my feelings towards her
Anger and frustration have become my way of life right now, and I'm not that type of person. I mean, everyone experiences anger, but now I am MADE of it.
And I know what I said is a generalization. The thing is, I live in a small city, the ratio boys/girls is fucked up (seems to be the rule here in southern europe) and getting laid is kind of an achievement, a trophy, when it should be a natural thing to do.
My needs are recognition, trust, and love. I come from a home without many love (abusing mother, absent father) and I'm sure my needs are more about love and having someone to cuddle with than sex.
I mean, I do not blame anyone for my troubles, but I feel the other males around me (the internet ppl I 'hang out' online) doesnt have this kind of anxiety and doesnt feel this isolated
>>16909727
It is a difficult situation, but it wont be something that will affect you your whole life unless you decide to put some work on it.
Theres this one video that, even if its not directly related to your problem, it does touch one valid point that you are going to get IF you decide to watch it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0xjULgwweVU
The point I was referring too was when Elliot says: ''Putting your heart out there, and you might get hurt. But, if you keep doing it...''
And thats basically the thing.
Now, heres the thing. I am also inclined to believe that theres a root for your shyness. I was in your situation, and whenever I think of it I couldnt you say ''Oh well I was just shy''. No, you, I was shy but there was a reason behind it.
Do you think theres a reason behind your shyness? Is there something affecting you and the relationships you have with others? Recurrent thoughts? Obsessions? Maybe a lack of confidence due to... appearance?
But going back to your problem. You already know the solution. And you've probably been told this a million times. But that doesnt mean its not the right answer.
The reason why you might fear this answer is because it's a terrible one. In the sense that you will have to do what you fear the most in order to be cured.
And that is, if you want to be less shy you'll have to open yourself to others. I know how it feels, and its terrible, but consider my initial point: What if you keep doing it?
>>16909832
>My needs are recognition, trust, and love.
Recognition. Everybody would love to be recognized. Tell me, in what way would you like to be recognize? How do you see yourself, in a future, whent his need is finally given to you? In other words, assuming your name is Joe: What did Joe do to obtain the recognition he desired?
>Trust
I assume this comes from way back. Was there a lack of trust between you and this person you mentioned from 4 years ago?
>love
Difficult, but not impossible. Given that you are, as you say, good looking and, of course, not a loser. Which is great for you.
>but I feel the other males around me (the internet ppl I 'hang out' online) doesnt have this kind of anxiety and doesnt feel this isolated
A lack of being able to connect with them on a different level.
Maybe you wish you could talk to them about different things. Maybe discuss your ideas, projects. Experience a real sense of camaraderie, but you just dont seem to be able to find it... Am I correct?
But theres an important question that hasn't been answered.
You mentioned, twice, that you ''screwed'' things up.
Shed some light on this please. How exactly did you do this?
>>16909877
Them girls seem to smell how desperate I am and, even when they are the ones who approach me (by Instagram messages wanting to hang out, for instance) I screw up being to anxious and they lose interest.
This has happened to me recently two, three times in a span of a few weeks and wrecks anyone's self steem.
I find hard to connect with people because as I see it, I am in a middle ground between being a nerd and a normie. I am very interested in gamedev, 90s shows, stoner rock...things that arent THAT weird but I have a hard time relating to other people (that's why I said most of this is due living in a small city), because rejection also works the other way around and Im not comfortable with the typical nerd who watches animu and hangs out at comic cons cosplayed and all that shit
And as I said the male / female ratio here in southern europe (I'm spaniard) is fucked up, there's like 10 male / 5 female ratio and when I find a girl who's a bit like me 1. has a boyfriend 2. she's so entitled and egotistical you can't get anything from her
I am studying programming right now and my plans include moving on to a better (bigger) place, but I already feel old, each classmate is younger and dont know man, I feel like my best years are already gone and I've been wasting em fapping, talking to people online and playing shitty videogames
>>16909877
OP again
I forgot mentioning I have anxiety disorder, been in and out of paroxetine since I was 17 and I've been abusing substances since I was 20 (mostly weed and alcohol, I quit weed recently after 3 years consuming almost daily)
I'm trying to get out of paroxetine but it is hard. The first weeks are easy, but two weeks apart from that the crippling anxiety is too fucking hard
>>16909922
Difficult situation.
Theres several factors that affect you, but that you cannot control.
You living in a small town and finding that the girls you actually want are not what they seemed to be. And also being unable to connect with people because, as you describe them, the way you are and the way they are just doesnt click.
This may sound like a dumb question, but have you looked the other way around? The other group of girls that you might've never approached?
>but I already feel old
Well, I can safely say that I've been there.
When one gets to their 20s+ they, for some reason, start thinking their life is over. That we are old. That its the end of the road.
This is wrong by all means. I support the notion that says ''You are as old as you want to be''.
This implies several factors. Most important ones are: Do you take care of yourself? Do you excercise? And, hard to answer, are you really living your life?
>I feel like my best years are already gone
What prevents you from saying the opposite? That your best years are about to begin?
You are letting the anger and frustration, spawned 4 years ago, change your outlook on things. To the point you are so certain as to say that your time, here, is over.
>I've been wasting em fapping, talking to people online and playing shitty videogames
Like I once said above, I dont see how this would be a real limitation, as if it couldnt be changed.
This can be changed. Thing is... its hard. But arent best things acquired throught long periods of pain and sacrifice?
Look my man, I cannot really help you with your girl problem. In the sense that I just cant tell you a method so ''girls wont smell your desperation''. So I hope you understand my position.
What seems clear to me, after this brief interrogation, is that you don't really want to go out from this world just yet, am I correct?
Cont. in next post.
>>16909922
>>16909928
And its very clear that you adjust your mindset to the answer of this vital question. Perphaps one of the most important questions you can ask yourself: Do you want to go on or do you want to go out?
I cannot answer it to you, nor I can really convince you.
But as I said, you dont sound like the type whos in such a position where suicide is inminent.
To me, you have strong chances in this world. Because you seem to have a clear view of what you want and where you want to go. Now this view might change with time, but as of now, you have an idea. And thats a step most people havent taken at your age or even later.
You also mention you have this addiction problem. And to that I also beg you to understand my position: I cannot cure your addiction and I could barely make a comment about it since I DON'T really have anxiety disorder, at least not that I know of.
Listen, Joe, today I was reading this story from Edgar Allan Poe in which the following phrase is mentioned: ''Nemo me impune lacessit'' o ''Nadie me ofende impunemente''. In this story, the character says that such phrase was in the Coat of Arms of his family: ''A golden food stepping on a snake. The snake reaching up and biting the ankle''.
My view on things is that, you can make anything you want of life. And it can be as interesting as you're willing to make it.
You see, its a matter of will, not power. Those are two different things, the will, the driving force of man.
See this part of your life, as one of the defining points in the Life of Joe. Your most powerful story, the only one you will ever have. You have the chances to make of this the story of the man who carried himself throught solitude patiently, defeated addiction and, eventually, found out what he wanted. Or it can be a tragedy.
Cont. In next post.
>>16909922
>>16909928
I cannot offer you things that will instantly fix you other than harsh truths that you are aware of:
- You live in a small town. So unless you're willing to take more chances, and finding a way to ''fix'' this ''desperation'' girls seem to smell (which I suggest you look for assistance among the people that know you), you could get the love you want.
- But this ''Could'' is what hurst the most. And thing is, theres also the opposite. The one where you are required to wait a little longer, for your desired love.
- A personal suggestion would be to try your hardest to make friends. Maybe find in the places you havent looked on, consider the people you never considered to be the types of guys that could be your friends. Who knows what you could find?
- I assume theres drive to accomplish the your objectives. Gamedevelopment, moving to a bigger and better place. You should keep building on these strong foundations.
- Meditate. Look up guided meditation. Do it. Close your eyes. Imagine yourself accomplishing what you always wanted. Mentalize yourself to surpass this plateau.
I dont think I have much left to say really. My brain is dry to this point and I am afraid my prose will result in gibberish.
I want to finish this by saying that, maybe life has stepped on you. I invite you, no, I encourage you to reach up to the top and bite back.
Maybe I didnt help you at all. But I did do something, I bumped your thread. So hopefully better and more qualified people will come in here and try to offer you their insight... or not.
I wish you the best my man.
>>16910049
>>16910025
>>16909970
OP here, thank you so much for your time, this hasn't solved all my problems but has easen my mind a bit
Im going to eat something, play a while and get some sleep. Maybe I wont see it that hard tomorrow, but the anxiety builds up day after day and peaks when you're by yourself.
Thank you, really
>>16909834
Thank you, I will watch the video.
There's a couple things maybe that could be the root of my shyness. Appearance like you said is one of them. Now, I know for a fact I'm not ugly. I'm pretty skinny though and it affects my confidence.
Another thing is that I think I'm boring. I don't have any hobbies and I have very few friends.
Maybe there are other things but I can't think of them right now.
The answer IS scary. I've known for a while that I have to open up to others, but it's hard. I've been making baby steps though and it's helped.
Thank you for the advice
