I'm 24 years old and finally started dating my first girl (pathetic, I know). She is from my university, and she is incredibly attractive (literally used to participate in beauty pageants), and this is the first girl I'm really doing something serious with. Here are my concerns;
1. The biggest thing is that I have not told her she is basically going to be my first, well, everything for obvious reasons. I am pretty sure she would see it as a red flag if she knew the truth, but it just hasn't been brought up yet. What do I do about this?
2. I have never really gotten affirmation for my attractiveness level so I always assumed I was not that good looking at all. This girl cares a lot about her beauty and that is clear and obvious. The main thing I have going for me is my charisma; I can engage with pretty much anyone and have them feeling good and having fun. Honestly, I'm not that good looking. I look like a white 2pac who is slightly skinnier. Is it actually reasonable to think that this girl actually likes me for my personality despite being the type of girl you would normally classify as vain? I'm just afraid she will get someone better, because I will never ever be on her level when it comes to that.
There's more, but I will just start with those things. The first one is obviously a HUGE issue and I need help knowing how to play my hand.
>>16880993
>1. The biggest thing is that I have not told her she is basically going to be my first, well, everything for obvious reasons. I am pretty sure she would see it as a red flag if she knew the truth, but it just hasn't been brought up yet. What do I do about this?
if she is really into you she will give no fucks about it, might even found it cute.
>2. I have never really gotten affirmation for my attractiveness level so I always assumed I was not that good looking at all. This girl cares a lot about her beauty and that is clear and obvious. The main thing I have going for me is my charisma; I can engage with pretty much anyone and have them feeling good and having fun. Honestly, I'm not that good looking. I look like a white 2pac who is slightly skinnier. Is it actually reasonable to think that this girl actually likes me for my personality despite being the type of girl you would normally classify as vain? I'm just afraid she will get someone better, because I will never ever be on her level when it comes to that.
if you think too much about it you will get paranoid soon, remember, she choosed to be with you, if at some point she lose atraction towards you, well... this is not something you have control anyway, so just enjoy and be happy that you have her now.
>>16880993
1. Do not ever tell girls that you're inexperienced, a virgin, etc. If a guy that's wanted by many women is dating a girl, women view that as a complement. If a guy is wanted by no women and is dating a girl, women view that as gross/insulting.
>huge issue
No it's not. Don't ever tell her she's your first girlfriend, first sex, first whatever.
>>16881021
I just want to be honest with her, I really do, but I just don't want to fuck this up. I need to be broken out of this very badly, and I feel like I cannot jeopardize this. I have 1 more year of college, and the only reason this even happened is because she made it obvious she was interested.
Honestly, I actually like her as a person too, so that is another thing that makes this such a slippery slope. She makes me laugh, which is something girls can never do usually, and she actually just always makes whatever we are doing more fun.
I don't know man, I just don't know. Fuck. The more I think about this, the more I don't care if she dumps me over something like that, because she deserves to know the truth just as I would want to know the truth about her.
>>16881055
just tell her, its looks like this is eating you from inside, good luck op.
>>16881032
See, a contrasting view on this already! This is why I made the thread. I also have no one to turn to in real life, because EVERYONE believes I am good with the ladies because of my personality.
Your view is exactly what the other side of me says; she is just going to want out immediatly after she learns. The whole world revolves around one concept; value. This is how I've always seen the world, and whether people realize it or not, most see it this way too.
I need to break all of this first time stuff immedatly, it's even more important than doing well in school for my mental health long term.
>>16880993
1. Stop being so insecure and just go with the flow
2. Stop being so insecure and just go with the flow
Seriously, bro, if you're already dating, having sex etc, she already likes you. You just need to stop worrying and chill.
>she deserves to know the truth
why would she even want to know that?
>>16881068
OP, I think you're a naive idealist. I'm not saying this to belittle you or call you a child, I just think your views on women are ideals or things that you wish were true.
Skim this document, think about women, and tell me how much of it rings true to you:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1sCdjKrzEgGvTwJgS5nwszZlWT97tEc-9o3SzNBXV2Ig/edit?pli=1
What women say they want =/= What women want. Go into a prison and almost every guy will have a woman outside. Go into a physics or math department and you'll find 50% of them are virgins.
Honesty, moral character, etc. are unimportant. They do not make women attracted to men.
>>16881074
It's impossible to be a 24 year old virgin and not be insecure about something like this. I will get over this when it's all said and done, but this is where I am at. Yes, I am insecure.
We haven't had sex. We just started seeing eachother for about 2 weeks so far, and it's mostly just been a whole lost of talking and bonding, having fun, stuff like that.
She was my first kiss, but that somehow went extremely well.
>>16881087
Pretend pretend pretend
Lie lie lie.
>2 weeks so far, and it's mostly just been a whole lost of talking and bonding, having fun, stuff like that.
Look at your own words. When she thinks about you does she think of a confident, charming person or does she think of a shy insecure virgin? If you tell the truth you might burst the bubble and any attraction that comes with it.
Fake it until you make it OP. If I lie about a college degree and get a job at financial firm, yet I turn out to be a great employee who does the job well, why should I tell them the truth?
>>16881085
>>16881085
My feminine attitude here is nothing like how I am in real life. I seep confidence everywhere I go basically (all of it is fake, but it works), and that is the reason she initially got interested most likely. No one is a better actor than me when it comes to this stuff; I'm fully aware that coming clean about this fucks me, which is what I've kept saying.
But you also have to keep in mind all of those prison inmates, most of them have girls on their dicks who have shit for brains. I'm in college; people are a bit more intelligent here. All of the general rules that you have in your notes there still apply for the most part, I agree, but yeah.
Your post was still helpful, however, because it reminded me of how not to act; like a girl. It made me realize how some of the things I've told her when we were just getting to know eachother displayed much of what is on those notes.
>>16881087
>Yes, I am insecure.
In that case, going to second this guy >>16881094
Either lie about it or just keep quiet.
>>16881074
Listen to this anon.
Angst over if and she'll dump you. It's very unattractive.
>>16881132
>I'm in college; people are a bit more intelligent here.
Yet there are there hordes of math majors and physics majors who're virgins? The only people who get crazy attention from women in college are:
>athletes
>drug dealers
>frat members
Do you think the women in your college have different DNA from the women in love with a convicted felon?
>pic related
This motherfucker killed 77 children and he gets love letters every day. The same is true of almost every mass murderer ever.
Women do not love you the same way you love women or the way you want to be loved. Men want acceptance, vulnerability, emotional intimacy, and sexual intimacy. Women want to be ruled over by an uber masculine man who has no weaknesses.
>>16881150
I understand that. Honestly, I probably look like bad news when you first look at me. I very much have the "I don't give a fuck" attitude and the more you talk about these things, the more I realize that you are right.
You know what made me realize women want to be dominated, as you say? Talking to my females friends when we were on molly and learning they all had rape fantasies. That made me realize women want to be led by someone who is better
than them.
I'm telling you, I'm doing EVERYTHING right so far, but I just needed to make sure not to make a huge mistake and I've been convinced; I'm going to lie to her.
